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Thread: the importance of good manners

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    redbaron's Avatar
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    Default the importance of good manners

    Si?
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    ? ?



    LII-Ne

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    deletinho
    Last edited by Trevor; 10-29-2009 at 11:01 PM.

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    hmmmm. all I know is, my ESE husband is obsessed with manners (and I know an LII who is similar) and I care FAR less than either of them.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Could be related to Judging.



    LII-Ne

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    hmmmm. All I know is, I am obsessed with showing enough of good or bad manners as to not be murdered afterward. Correct a priori estimation is of utmost importance. It all comes to that on a low evolutional level. In higher level there is also a genuine love for people and fear of God.

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    Couldn't care less about manners.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    If by manners you mean processes, then yes I care a lot. + .

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    I think it would be Fe.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kajagoogoo View Post
    I think it would be Fe.
    maybe Fe-valuing and rational>irrational. or something.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Depends on the situation. If it's treating someone with respect because they are your superior in some way, then it's mostly related to Se. If it's being considerate, like not belching at the dinner table, it's Si. If it's about treating everyone nicely, I'd say Fe/Si.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    I don't know...how is it type related? It would seem to be more related to how you were brought up. I'm obsessive with manners...it's a huge pet peeve of mine if someone doesn't show someone else the proper respects...even if they're just fetching them a water or something. Manners are huge to me.

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    I think it might be Si related. I'm talking about not putting your elbows on the table, not burping, not chewing with your mouth open, not talking while you're chewing, not taking too large of a bite, etc.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    I place GREAT importance on manners.
    I really can't stand rude people.
    ﴾ لَهُمْ دَارُ السَّلاَمِ عِندَ رَبِّهِمْ وَهُوَ وَلِيُّهُمْ بِمَا كَانُواْ يَعْمَلُونَ ﴿
    "When you see an evil act you have to stop it with your hand.
    If you can't, then at least speak out against it with your tongue.
    If you can't, then at least you have to hate it with all your heart.
    And this is the weakest of faith."

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    I think it might be Si related. I'm talking about not putting your elbows on the table, not burping, not chewing with your mouth open, not talking while you're chewing, not taking too large of a bite, etc.
    Yes, these are all Si things.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly View Post
    Yes, these are all Si things.
    Husband=FeSi. okay makes sense now. lol
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    I don't think any of that has to do with Si. Manners are about creating a pleasant environment, and meal environments are included in that. Having food, and food that tastes good, might be Si, but elbows on the table and stuff? I don't think people with Si but not Fe care in the slightest about that.

    OK I have an anecdote. I went to a luncheon given by an IEI. Very nice woman and very thoughtful. Everything was lovely. I could sense how important manners would be to her, too.

    BUT. She made the most beautiful little savory tarts, but they were LITTLE. I mean tiny. And she didn't prepare one for my daughter, though she had specifically said she wanted my daughter to be there. So she said I could share my tiny little tart with my daughter. So I cut the tiny little tart in two, and gave half to my daughter, but didn't eat my half because I knew my daughter would need it. Sure enough, in about 2 seconds she had eaten hers and was begging for more, so I gave her the other half. And then she was STILL hungry. I knew not to ask for more food but she was only like 5 at the time and didn't know better.

    Anyway, Si is the food, but Fe the meal atmosphere.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
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    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    Quote Originally Posted by aixelsyd View Post
    Manners are subjective.

    I find people who insist on me being a fake prude for the sake of manners to be rude.
    This is not only monkey bars. It is quick sand.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kajagoogoo View Post
    Anyway, Si is the food, but Fe the meal atmosphere.
    I don't really see Fe as any kind of "atmosphere," so I'd disagree and say it is still likely an Si thing.

    But manners in general. What is general? Define general. I agree with monkey bar chick.

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    I don't think this is very socionics related.

    I'm polite, but it's a Midwestern thing more than it is anything else. I was taught to say please and thank you a lot, and I do. If I don't, it just feels weird and like I'm being 'naughty.' I know that's childish but it was how I was raised, I really can't help it much.

    So please cum on my face.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BulletsAndDoves View Post
    So please cum on my face.
    and which face would that be?

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    Quote Originally Posted by polikujm View Post

    I don't really see Fe as any kind of "atmosphere," so I'd disagree and say it is still likely an Si thing.
    I guess we're using completely different definitions then.

    Extroverted ethics - Wikisocion

    The SLIs and LSEs I know don't care at all about table manners.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


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    I know an LSE who is FAR more concerned with table manners than I am. But maybe that was an upbringing thing.

    Also, I would say that Fe is an atmosphere thing, but maybe not the kind of atmosphere thing that I would associate with the whole genteel, polite thing. I mean, I guess it's all about the kind of atmosphere you want to create at a certain time. And maybe it's different when Fe is blocked with Ni and the person is a type that values Se. But still, I don't associate Fe with manners so much.

    Personally, I think it could be related either ethical function, but probably especially when mixed with Si.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

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    For those of you who do not care about manners, if you partake in any of the following, please avoid me:

    - The chewing sound of someone eating with their mouth open in front of you. Also, I honestly don't like rice grain missiles occasionally landing on my body.
    - Someone talking up close to you, breathing on your face, and who is sick. This happened to me, and he actually coughed too, right on my face.
    - Using the toilet and not bothering to flush. Use your feet to flush if you are afraid of getting infected, please.

    Otherwise, we're ok.

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    Quote Originally Posted by http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/manners

    2. manners,
    a. the prevailing customs, ways of living, and habits of a people, class, period, etc.; mores: The novels of Jane Austen are concerned with the manners of her time.
    b. ways of behaving with reference to polite standards; social comportment: That child has good manners.
    Manners apply to more than the dinner table. Do you for example:

    - Open doors to women (if male or if the person is carrying something cumbersome)?
    - Offer your seat to an elderly or someone otherwise in greater need of the seat than yourself (pregnant woman/disabled/wounded etc)?
    - If you see a man hitting a woman, would you intervene? Would you if the receiver was a man, or a child?
    - Help someone who accidentally dropped a bunch of papers which may scatter?
    - Use certain polite phrases when talking to strangers or customers, or expect others to use such when talking to you?

    I would assume that most of us partake in some manners and that ignoring these may well affect us negatively. The reasons for manners come from all place. Being on time makes sure you don't waste someone else’s, not ruining the atmosphere, not hurting someone, helping others achieve a goal, defending the weak, caring for someone else’s wellbeing etc. And different cultures have notably different manners which may be more geared toward certain aspects.

    Manners is certainly not something atypically for a Te/Fi valuer; behaving badly and against the mores can just as easily offend a Te/Fi valuer as a Fe/Ti valuer (or for that matter Se/Ni contra Ne/Si).

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    is this type related? to me it's more how you were raised. bad table manners kind of suck to look at though. bleah. who wants to be around someone who's farting at the table? or blowing their nose? or slobbering over their food? or picking their nose? really.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    sure, manners are how you were raised but I think a super tight focus on it is probably related to Fe/Si somehow. I mean, I was taught manners but were they drilled into me and was I highly criticized when I didn't meet some standard? NO.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    I think it might be Si related. I'm talking about not putting your elbows on the table, not burping, not chewing with your mouth open, not talking while you're chewing, not taking too large of a bite, etc.

    chewing with your mouth open can sound really disgusting sometimes

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    sure, manners are how you were raised but I think a super tight focus on it is probably related to Fe/Si somehow. I mean, I was taught manners but were they drilled into me and was I highly criticized when I didn't meet some standard? NO.
    idk...to me if anything it's more Fi, but i prolly think that since my mom and dad are Fi valuing and they're the ones who drilled me! lol

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by glamourama View Post
    lol, i have wondered before what is that thing?
    shingouz
    First eliminate every possible source of error. Thence success is inevitable.

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