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Thread: Nice/Good

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    Hello...? somavision's Avatar
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    Default Nice/Good

    I have noticed a trend with some of my friends.
    The Fe valuing types seem to base their opinion on someone on whether they are nice or not and they will often use the word nice.
    "she's nice"
    "I don't like him, he's not very nice to me"
    "Be nice to me, stop using my body as your plaything" etc...

    The Fi valuing types, very rarely seem to use "nice" when describing people, but rather use words like "good" or "decent", or when they do use "nice" it's with a slightly haughty sarcastic kind of thing going on.

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    Quote Originally Posted by somavision View Post
    I have noticed a trend with some of my friends.
    The Fe valuing types seem to base their opinion on someone on whether they are nice or not and they will often use the word nice.
    "she's nice"
    "I don't like him, he's not very nice to me"
    "Be nice to me, stop using my body as your plaything" etc...

    The Fi valuing types, very rarely seem to use "nice" when describing people, but rather use words like "good" or "decent", or when they do use "nice" it's with a slightly haughty sarcastic kind of thing going on.
    yeah, I'm guilty of thinking of people I don't know very well in terms of whether or not they come across as "nice". I totally do that. I can know someone's a truly good person but if they're not nice to me (like this ENTj down the street), I don't really like them all that much. I think my ESE husband feels the same way. And I have an SEI friend who talks like that too.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by somavision View Post
    I have noticed a trend with some of my friends.
    The Fe valuing types seem to base their opinion on someone on whether they are nice or not and they will often use the word nice.
    "she's nice"
    "I don't like him, he's not very nice to me"
    "Be nice to me, stop using my body as your plaything" etc...

    The Fi valuing types, very rarely seem to use "nice" when describing people, but rather use words like "good" or "decent", or when they do use "nice" it's with a slightly haughty sarcastic kind of thing going on.
    Yes, I think this is related. "Nice" is more situational (you're nice if the other person appreciates what you're doing), whereas "good" and "decent" are universal statements.



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    Contrarian Traditionalist Krig the Viking's Avatar
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    Translation:
    Nice = Generates Positive Fe
    Mean = Generates Negative Fe
    Quaero Veritas.

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    Not really that's too simplified. And you could say the same thing about Fi.

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    Quote Originally Posted by somavision View Post
    I have noticed a trend with some of my friends.
    The Fe valuing types seem to base their opinion on someone on whether they are nice or not and they will often use the word nice.
    "she's nice"
    "I don't like him, he's not very nice to me"
    "Be nice to me, stop using my body as your plaything" etc...

    The Fi valuing types, very rarely seem to use "nice" when describing people, but rather use words like "good" or "decent", or when they do use "nice" it's with a slightly haughty sarcastic kind of thing going on.

    i think you're on to something. makes total sense.

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    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Actually, I think it makes sense too. I have experience of people asking me why I like a certain person "because they're mean and I don't like them" and I have no idea what they're talking about. I witness people talking smack about others behind their back, and I call that kind of behavior indecent. It's almost as though they see some essence of the person that I don't see what so ever, and they're the one's looking foolish.

    Personally, I think nice is sort of a requirement for decency. I've never really called someone mean, and have always thought of my closest friends as nice, unless they say something indecent about another person. (Decency goes for other things too though, many other things) However perhaps I see what Fe valuers call mean as something else, due to my Fe PoLR. It's not "up front" indecency, but it's the kind of "behind the back" indecency.

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    Hmmm... I tried to think of a way to say I don't do that, because I don't really like the word "nice" (it originally meant "precise" and now it is the most imprecise, meaningless word in the English language), but you're right, I totally use the word nice to describe people all the time, and I far prefer calling someone "nice" to calling someone "good." Thanks for pointing that out; I had never noticed it before.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

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    Other than perhaps saying "He's a really good/great guy," I never use "good" to describe people. It's verbally awkward.

    I don't notice any of the Fi-valuers I know doing any of the things you mentioned. They pretty much all use the word "nice." Or, on other occasions: professional, talented, hot, awesome, rude, feisty, boring, sexy, fun, arrogant, witty, beautiful...
    IEE

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    Quote Originally Posted by tiny_dancer View Post
    Other than perhaps saying "He's a really good/great guy," I never use "good" to describe people. It's verbally awkward.

    I don't notice any of the Fi-valuers I know doing any of the things you mentioned. They pretty much all use the word "nice." Or, on other occasions: professional, talented, hot, awesome, rude, feisty, boring, sexy, fun, arrogant, witty, beautiful...
    It was perhaps an over generalisation.

    maybe it's more the Fe ego types I know will say things like
    "be nice" and focus on the immediate Fe
    Thinking about it Fi valuers perhaps say
    "he's a nice person" or something along those lines.
    I'm not sure, as I said there does seem to be a pattern within my social circle (subtle differences in the use of language and emphasis), pinning it down to the usage of particular vocabulary or the emphasis that may be placed on different words is more difficult.

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    Quote Originally Posted by silverchris9 View Post
    Hmmm... I tried to think of a way to say I don't do that, because I don't really like the word "nice" (it originally meant "precise" and now it is the most imprecise, meaningless word in the English language), but you're right, I totally use the word nice to describe people all the time, and I far prefer calling someone "nice" to calling someone "good." Thanks for pointing that out; I had never noticed it before.
    Your welcome, glad I've contributed something of some use.

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    Quote Originally Posted by somavision View Post
    It was perhaps an over generalisation.

    maybe it's more the Fe ego types I know will say things like
    "be nice" and focus on the immediate Fe
    Thinking about it Fi valuers perhaps say
    "he's a nice person" or something along those lines.
    I'm not sure, as I said there does seem to be a pattern within my social circle (subtle differences in the use of language and emphasis), pinning it down to the usage of particular vocabulary or the emphasis that may be placed on different words is more difficult.
    Could you be comparing Alpha vs. Gamma? Or are there Aristocratics in your sample?



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    Quote Originally Posted by somavision View Post
    It was perhaps an over generalisation.

    maybe it's more the Fe ego types I know will say things like
    "be nice" and focus on the immediate Fe
    Thinking about it Fi valuers perhaps say
    "he's a nice person" or something along those lines.
    I'm not sure, as I said there does seem to be a pattern within my social circle (subtle differences in the use of language and emphasis), pinning it down to the usage of particular vocabulary or the emphasis that may be placed on different words is more difficult.
    I can see how the word "nice" can be associated with Fe, especially Fe types. So when Fi types use the word, they are likely associating something with their Fe? Idk I'm just guessing, because I never use that word in a realistic context, about anyone. I've had people call one of my close friends "mean" and I had to say, "she is not mean" because I knew it wasn't true. Maybe it was, but I'd never call one of my friends "mean," I don't know, seems pretty pointless. Trying to make yourself look better by calling someone mean behind their back, when you're just looking silly yourself by discussing it (specially if its being disagreed upon or there is no legitimate proof that someone is mean.) I can relate to "I don't like that he does this, especially towards me." But I don't understand when someone says something technically "rude" about someone without any reason or personal significance.

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    Hello...? somavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brilliand View Post
    Could you be comparing Alpha vs. Gamma? Or are there Aristocratics in your sample?
    All four Quadra's
    But seems to be SEI's and IEI's that I can notice the difference in emphasis from myself in this matter (I don't know any Fe rationals, really, really well, so I can't comment to much.)
    The SEE's, IEE's, and EII's I know well, will notice if someones nice and genuinely say it as a compliment, but the emphasis is...er...less.. I suppose.

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    i don't say people are /nice/ .. i say they're cool, amazing, or i don't say anything at all ...

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