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Thread: INTps & ENTjs not knowing what love is?

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    Default INTps & ENTjs not knowing what love is?

    What crap is this that I've been reading? Can somebody explain?

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    Quote Originally Posted by xkj220 View Post
    What crap is this that I've been reading? Can somebody explain?
    LOL

    I JUST made a post that inferred something along these lines.

    I don't know that it's specifically a Gamma NT thing though... I guess I would think that it's common to all Te egos? Then again, I'm not sure exactly what it is that you're talking about.

    As for me, I rarely know how I feel about anything. And I depend on others to define my relationship with them.

    Also, different people define "love" in different ways for different things/people at different times. The more I think about the word "love", the less meaning it has. I do tell my family that I love them often though. I don't know if it's type related or if that's just how I was brought up, but it feels good to say it to my family, especially my husband and son. It's an expression of how much I value them.

    Erm... did I answer the question you were trying to ask?
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    Love isn't a feeling. At least not for me. I think everyone has feelings of attraction, hate, hurt, however. It's a human condition.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ArchonAlarion View Post
    That's all part of the game. With no hurt, what is the point?
    -----
    I came across this very interesting article on the wikisocion:

    Functional Revise - Wikisocion

    I'll quote:

    The Controllers (+Ti/-Te in ego, +Fe/-Fi agenda) INTp; ENTj; ISTj; ESTp

    This group works best when put in a position of chaos. It can get rid of the problems of things and make sure that nothing stands in the way of an accomplishment. This group as leaders have no remorse about getting rid of people via firing them. This group follows the rules. It knows its place in the hierarchy of things. These people organize things and make sure that things are organized and in order. This group is extremely decisive. This group tries its best to be nice and kind to people. Inside though, these type has a need to be lonely depressed and withdrawn. This group doesn’t know what happiness or love is.

    I've also seen a few members making the same assertions (particularly about the Gamma NTs). It would be nice to see what these members mean when they say such things.

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    Quote Originally Posted by polikujm View Post
    Love isn't a feeling. At least not for me. I think everyone has feelings of attraction however. It's a human condition.
    So you'd say you are incapable of feeling "love"?


    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    Erm... did I answer the question you were trying to ask?
    More or less. So gamma NTs don't feel anything, or have trouble identifying their feelings?

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    Quote Originally Posted by polikujm View Post
    Love isn't a feeling. At least not for me. I think everyone has feelings of attraction however. It's a human condition.
    I agree. Feelings are too transient to be called "love". "Love" is more of a state of being. It's a lifestyle, not an emotion.

    Attractions, infatuation, etc. are something different. They're a fun stage of relationships, but they're not "love".

    Quote Originally Posted by xkj220 View Post
    have trouble identifying their feelings?
    that
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    Quote Originally Posted by xkj220 View Post
    So you'd say you are incapable of feeling "love"?
    I don't understand. How do you "feel" love? It's not a feeling. Like Joy says, it's a state of being.

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    I don't understand. What is a state of being?

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    "love" is actually a bundle concept for a whole slew of things such as psychological attachments, infatuations, value priorities, and emotions.

    Ugh, seriously, don't toot-toot this "state of being" bullshit too much, cuz its pretentious and amounts to a poorly veiled, "Look I'm Fi!"
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    Quote Originally Posted by ArchonAlarion View Post
    I like that, lol.

    Reminds me of a relationship I had with an LSI. It was euphoric for the first 5 or 6 months, but the second we moved in together we fought a lot. I broke up with him for good reasons a few times, but anytime we spent time together he'd somehow manage to talk me into getting back together with him.

    Quote Originally Posted by xkj220 View Post
    I don't understand.
    A feeling can be a deceiving thing. Or rather, we can think we feel something but not be sure that we are. And even if we are, so what? That can change way too quickly. Feelings come and go, but "love" is (at least to me) a decision that I'm going to have a life with this person.

    Maybe that's why the concept of "unrequited love" seems so creepy to me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ArchonAlarion View Post
    Ugh, seriously, don't toot-toot this "state of being" bullshit too much, cuz its pretentious and amounts to a poorly veiled, "Look I'm Fi!"
    Does "decision that I'm going to have a life with this person" sound less pretentious? It means the same thing.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post

    Maybe that's why the concept of "unrequited love" seems so creepy to me.
    I see. I think that's the only true love actually. The one that is never consummated.

    Everything ends up screwing up. Everything fades.

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    From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection[1] and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my boyfriend"). This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

    As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love[2] to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love.[3] Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.


    From dictionary.com:

    –noun 1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
    2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
    3. sexual passion or desire.
    4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
    5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
    6. a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
    7. sexual intercourse; copulation.
    8. (initial capital letter) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.
    9. affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.
    10. strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.
    11. the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.
    12. the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.
    13. Chiefly Tennis. a score of zero; nothing.
    14. a word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L.

    –verb (used with object) 15. to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.
    16. to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).
    17. to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music.
    18. to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight.
    19. to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover.
    20. to have sexual intercourse with.

    –verb (used without object) 21. to have love or affection for another person; be in love.

    —Verb phrase22. love up, to hug and cuddle: She loves him up every chance she gets.
    —Idioms23. for love, a. out of affection or liking; for pleasure.
    b. without compensation; gratuitously: He took care of the poor for love.

    24. for the love of, in consideration of; for the sake of: For the love of mercy, stop that noise.
    25. in love, infused with or feeling deep affection or passion: a youth always in love.
    26. in love with, feeling deep affection or passion for (a person, idea, occupation, etc.); enamored of: in love with the girl next door; in love with one's work.
    27. make love, a. to embrace and kiss as lovers.
    b. to engage in sexual activity.

    28. no love lost, dislike; animosity: There was no love lost between the two brothers.


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Origin:
    bef. 900; (n.) ME; OE lufu, c. OFris luve, OHG luba, Goth lubō; (v.) ME lov(i)en, OE lufian; c. OFris luvia, OHG lubōn to love, L lubēre (later libēre) to be pleasing; akin to lief


    Synonyms:
    1. tenderness, fondness, predilection, warmth, passion, adoration. 1, 2. Love, affection, devotion all mean a deep and enduring emotional regard, usually for another person. Love may apply to various kinds of regard: the charity of the Creator, reverent adoration toward God or toward a person, the relation of parent and child, the regard of friends for each other, romantic feelings for another person, etc. Affection is a fondness for others that is enduring and tender, but calm. Devotion is an intense love and steadfast, enduring loyalty to a person; it may also imply consecration to a cause. 2. liking, inclination, regard, friendliness. 15. like. 16. adore, adulate, worship.


    Antonyms:
    1, 2. hatred, dislike. 15, 16. detest, hate.
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    Thank you, but I still don't know what love is.

    Has somebody experienced it? What is it like?

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    Sorry Archon, but it probably does correlate somehow with the functions. I've never accepted a feeling I had as love.

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    Quote Originally Posted by xkj220 View Post
    I see. I think that's the only true love actually. The one that is never consummated.
    WHY?! It's somehow more virtuous or authentic if you don't get laid?

    I'm resisting an urge to go on a rant about biology right now, lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by xkj220 View Post
    Everything ends up screwing up. Everything fades.
    Infatuations always fade. However, having a life partner may not. (At least not until someone dies.)
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    I suppose you can't have everything...

    Thank you guys.

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    Quote Originally Posted by xkj220 View Post
    Thank you, but I still don't know what love is.

    Has somebody experienced it? What is it like?
    I guess I think it's "love" if you decide it is?

    That aside, thinking back, I believe (atm) I've "loved" five people. Not sure about one or maybe three of them. Or maybe all but one. Depends on the definition I'm using, I guess.

    My final answer is that it's an individual thing.
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    Quote Originally Posted by polikujm View Post
    Sorry Archon, but it probably does correlate somehow with the functions. I've never accepted a feeling I had as love.
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    : Let's live our lives together.
    : You and me belong together.
    : I feel this strong emotion.
    : I have a sense of connection with you.

    (Before Archon complains about =emotion: Yeah, the Internal ones were hard.)



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    Quote Originally Posted by Brilliand View Post
    : Let's live our lives together.
    : You and me belong together.
    : I feel this strong emotion.
    : I have a sense of connection with you.
    Not really sure how the Te/Ti ones work, but I definitely don't relate to the Ti or Fe ones. The Ti one sounds like it's fate or something, when it's actually a conscious choice.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Brilliand View Post
    : Let's live our lives together.
    : You and me belong together.
    : I feel this strong emotion.
    : I have a sense of connection with you.

    (Before Archon complains about =emotion: Yeah, the Internal ones were hard.)
    For the simplicity of it, its not bad as some sort of theme. Obviously, I'd feel a sense of connection to someone I think belongs with me, etc.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ArchonAlarion View Post


    Quote Originally Posted by Brilliand View Post
    : Let's live our lives together.
    Yeah, that's a good way to put the Te aspect of love. (Whoa, I didn't feel compelled to use quotations that time.)

    I think for Fi it's more of a "I have a connection with you" sort of thing though. I'm not sure how they decide it. I guess they just have certain traits/behaviors they've decided are good or bad and when they meet people with those traits/behaviors they know if they like or don't like that person.

    Quote Originally Posted by xkj220 View Post
    I suppose you can't have everything...

    Thank you guys.
    ???

    The "feeling" that some people call "love" is there for those who don't call it "love". They may not be sure they recognize it, but it's still there. (I'm again resisting going on a rant about biology.) And for those who consider "love" a "feeling", the later stages where they build a life with that person may still be there.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ArchonAlarion View Post
    For the simplicity of it, its not bad as some sort of theme. Obviously, I'd feel a sense of connection to someone I think belongs with me, etc.
    I've noticed that the forumer Fe valuers sort of make instant connections, but they always seem based on expressing themselves and interchanging emotions or something. It never seems like anything deep. Of course I'm not saying that you guys can't do it of course, it just seems like you're trying the easy way.

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    It's more about focus than about ability.
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    Ability? Okay, how do you mean "ability."

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    Quote Originally Posted by polikujm View Post
    Of course I'm not saying that you guys can't do it of course, it just seems like you're trying the easy way.
    They CAN have those Fi connections. And they do. They're just not as focused on them as they are on Fe. And Ti.
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    a lot of the stuff on that page is kind of silly and off the mark, some things are better

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