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Thread: estp/entj and infp it's complicated

  1. #1
    Creepy-sarahdxwrappd

    Default estp/entj and infp it's complicated

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    Last edited by sarahdxwrappd; 11-02-2009 at 03:51 PM.

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    I'd say go with the infp. Sounds like things have always been stormy with the estp, so they will probably keep being stormy; if it's something that consistent, it's probably more about you being incompatible as people on some deeper level than just little things here and there.

    Unless you like the drama (no shame), in which case, stay with the estp.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

  3. #3
    Creepy-sarahdxwrappd

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    Last edited by sarahdxwrappd; 11-02-2009 at 03:51 PM.

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    take a second of me sarinana's Avatar
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    from my expierence after you totally cut off the infp..there is no quick way back... if you want to get him back just tell him what you still feel for him..dont expect anything back. and then go away and i think he will come to you if he will not find somebody else... tho i would be with the ESTp guy.

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    It is complicated. Factors to balance and viewpoints to consider but ultimately the only thing that matters is what you want to do. You're sorting yourself out but I feel kind of stupid giving you any sort of advice because I don't know these people. You know them better than any of us, so what do you want? If you want the estp then be with the estp. Why the guilt? Maybe neither of them are who you're meant to be with.

    I feel dumb giving you advice. You're asking the most important question, sharing a life with somebody. Starting a relationship. Those are huuuuge deals. Who do you like being with more? Is it mutual? How can anybody make that decision except for you?

  6. #6
    Creepy-sarahdxwrappd

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    Last edited by sarahdxwrappd; 11-02-2009 at 03:51 PM.

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    Creepy-sarahdxwrappd

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    Last edited by sarahdxwrappd; 11-02-2009 at 03:52 PM.

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    You could write a book or at least a short story with all this.

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    I'm sorry, this is rough...but I agree with B&D, it feels stupid trying to give you advice. What do you want us to say - SLE is a better type for you that IEI?

    I understand your situation. I've started up a ridiculously pathetic amount of threads about IEI relations and SLE relations blahblahblah.

    So I will just tell you my experience, and maybe you can get something out of it, because I don't have any worthy advice.

    I've been friends with a couple of IEIs, nothing special really, I mean they were cool and we have the identical connection but it was all pretty average.

    Then, I met this fucking wicked guy, who so happened to be IEI. He was just an incredible person...but sadly socionics type came into play and now it's pretty hollow. Sometimes I wish I were an ESTp just because of this kid. Fuck, it's sad haha - I have just never met anyone like him, it's not about his type, he's just wicked. We have an inability to stay away from each other, but when we are together, it feels so empty. (But maybe this is partly me projecting, I think I possibly build up barriers around him because Socionics has ingrained into my little impressionable head that identical relations become boring, octopuslove has a close IEI friend). Actually, I feel kind of neutral towards him now, I appreciate he's a cool guy, but I know he wouldn't be good for me - he wouldn't be even if I were ESTp, I just wish we could actually keep on having a relationship but our type makes this difficult.

    But then that's what is supposed to happen in identical relations - it doesn't matter how interesting you two are, it will become stagnant, at least for a proportion of the time, the same way you end up getting pissed off with your conflictor if you become close.

    But it's not fair to drag IEI guy back into it, if you bring him back into it you won't have made up your mind, will you? I know it's really easy to get caught up in how you feel and the drama and the indecisiveness of being an IEI throws you off - but you have to empathize with them - what is good for them? If you honestly don't want to hurt him, don't, just leave it.

    You left the estp for a reason (the cops got involved? He sounds like a bit of a mess =/), you left the infp for a reason. It's not about type. I know it feels ridiculous to leave them both behind, it feels impossible to imagine not wanting them or not being with either one, but it is absolutely possible, of course, you just have to get yourself out - find someone else you feel as intensely for - but someone who is good for you.

    So fucking what your types are all compatible? It doesn't make a person good for you.
    IEI, sp/sx 4w3.

  10. #10
    Creepy-sarahdxwrappd

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    Last edited by sarahdxwrappd; 11-02-2009 at 03:53 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sarahdxwrappd View Post
    yeah i hear exactly what you're saying and agree...

    i left the estp because he was bad for me..playing me, dragging me around...we were just so intense, and i became addicted.

    the infp...was amazing, simply. it was easy being with him. i'm not even 100% sure he was infp..he also showed a lil estp tendency..isfp as well..
    i mean i'm not 100% infp either..i'm estp...enfp as well..

    but anyways...i would've never left the infp..the only reason i did was because the estp kept requoting his love for me..told me he wanted to make a life with me..etc. confused everything for me...he knows exactly what to say to make me want to come back..like i'll never find anyone as good for me as him..
    i would've stayed happily with the infp...i only left b/c the estp...and because his current circumstances ... i put too much stock in the future as i imagined it..i always imagined ending up with estp..so...i..gave up alot to be with him...anyways...
    yeah...
    Then i'd say be with the IEI. I am still not convinced though, if he was really 'it' I still reckon you wouldn't have chosen the estp instead. But if he doesn't want to be with you because he's afraid of getting hurt, then I guess you can't do anything about it, but I don't think it's a reason to be with the estp. But I understand how hard it is to stay away, ah I hope you work it out and feel better soon.
    IEI, sp/sx 4w3.

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    As your Identical, I've had the same problem. I don't know if it means I can't help you, I just gave advice that I would give to myself.

    I had this exact same problem like about 3 hours. Maybe not exact, but very similar. I was so confused and torn and emo about these 3 guys that I liked. I just couldn't make up my mind, I still can't. I just take one day at a time now and see how it goes. Because there's the 'real relationship' part of you, what can work in reality and there is this raw romantic dreamy part of you deep in your psyche, that doesn't operate on physical rules or laws.

    I really wish I had good Fi sometimes cause Fi-valuers always point out what people I'm most compatible with, better than I even realize it. It's something that I've always had trouble with. I don't know what it is but I've been attracted to people who were COMPLETELY bad for me. So that's why now adding this to the mix it's just ahhh!

    Maybe you just need somebody to go 'ahhh' with you. =/

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