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Thread: ISTps: acting tough and strong but being shy/sensitive underneath?

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    Default ISTps: acting tough and strong but being shy/sensitive underneath?

    I know alot of ISTP hate to admit it here but i know its true. We can play it off better as we get older by acting tough and strong. I can be pretty irrational with the public because I think they are out to get me. It doesnt help that I drive flashy cars.
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    Yeah, most SLIs are shy. That's almost like a rule of thumb.

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    Quote Originally Posted by randomguy View Post
    I know alot of ISTP hate to admit it here but i know its true. We can play it off better as we get older by acting tough and strong. I can be pretty irrational with the public because I think they are out to get me. It doesnt help that I drive flashy cars.
    ISTps are too shy to drive flashy cars.
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    It depends on the person...with some people I'm very outgoing but others, not so much. But yeah, basically I'm shy.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Isha View Post
    I'm shy until you get me talking about one of my fields of knowledge, heh.
    So, Isha, how's the weather been?

    EDIT

    (This is the part where you make a return snark about "my latest fruitless scheme")

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    Quote Originally Posted by Isha View Post
    Huh?
    Surely the weather would be a field of knowledge for super-Si Isha?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Isha View Post
    The weather, or inanity?
    The weather.

    I mean, it's pretty fertile grounds for discussion. The temperature, how that impacts your comfort, looking at the weather from a purely mechanical point of view, talking about cloud formation, whether you think it's going to rain, discussing what causes rain smells, discussing the aesthetic experience of different weather events (like clouds or distant rain or the effect on light of different forms of cloud cover) etc, etc, etc.

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    I wouldn't say all ISTps are shy. Maybe a few of them are. I think a lot of them may just have nothing to say sometimes. At least nothing they think is worth saying. A lot of them can be confident enough to avoid being shy and in turn are just quiet individuals that like their alone time. The mysteries of what introverts do in their alone time can make them enigmatic.

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    Quote Originally Posted by randomguy View Post
    I know alot of ISTP hate to admit it here but i know its true. We can play it off better as we get older by acting tough and strong. I can be pretty irrational with the public because I think they are out to get me. It doesnt help that I drive flashy cars.
    They're all mad ball-breakers who crash life and are *seriously* loud and *constantly* on the go.

    Say, you ever met any of the types?

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    Default SLIs are you really shy???

    Ok to my UTTER astonishment, this SLI i knew was described by someone that knows him very well as "shy."

    Shy is not the word that comes to mind when observing his superficial interactions. However, I did notice signs of shyness in my interactions with him. It just didn't quite mesh with the way i saw him socialize in general.

    On the other hand, I have always thought of myself as shy. However, now that I think about it, I've been relatively inclined to express my feelings about someone, maybe not in a blatant Fe way. So maybe i'm really not that shy. My friends are incredulous if i happen to mention that I'm shy.

    I think it's pretty interesting, the paradox:

    SLI -- appears outgoing, has lots of "friends" but is shy.

    IEE -- appears quiet, has fewer friends but is (I guess) not so shy.
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    These aren't remotely type related traits IMO.

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    Quote Originally Posted by A Little Birdy View Post
    These aren't remotely type related traits IMO.
    Maybe you're right, but i sort of recognize it as how people might perceive Fe.

    So, an Fe-POLR like an SLI or ILI would seem "shy" to people observing Fe.
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    the SLIs i've known have seemed kind of shy whereas the IEEs i've known have seemed more outgoing so i don't know really know how to respond? :wink:

    but i agree that shyness isn't really type related.

    i'm not sure what you mean with the Fe thing.. like people who use more Fe will seem more outgoing? or only to people who value Fe?

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    I know a guy who is SLI, and he is incredibly popular, makes lots of friends wherever he goes, but I would still describe him as shy in some situations.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    Ok to my UTTER astonishment, this SLI i knew was described by someone that knows him very well as "shy."

    Shy is not the word that comes to mind when observing his superficial interactions. However, I did notice signs of shyness in my interactions with him. It just didn't quite mesh with the way i saw him socialize in general.

    On the other hand, I have always thought of myself as shy. However, now that I think about it, I've been relatively inclined to express my feelings about someone, maybe not in a blatant Fe way. So maybe i'm really not that shy. My friends are incredulous if i happen to mention that I'm shy.

    I think it's pretty interesting, the paradox:

    SLI -- appears outgoing, has lots of "friends" but is shy.

    IEE -- appears quiet, has fewer friends but is (I guess) not so shy.
    I still find myself confused about the definitions of "shy" versus "introverted."

    For me, I'm shockingly outgoing if forced into it by a social situation, but if left to myself I am quite shy. If I'm cornered, or no one else will step up, I can step out, always with an eye towards drawing others into the spotlight. I am quite happy to let anyone else be the center of attention. That's one of my favorite things about the ENFp. They like to be on stage.

    WorkaholicsAnon, are you sure your friend is SLI? To test him, next time in a group, see if he just hangs back when others are talking. It's easier to be shy when no one is watching.
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    Quote Originally Posted by A Little Birdy View Post
    These aren't remotely type related traits IMO.
    Word.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyrano View Post
    I still find myself confused about the definitions of "shy" versus "introverted."

    For me, I'm shockingly outgoing if forced into it by a social situation, but if left to myself I am quite shy. If I'm cornered, or no one else will step up, I can step out, always with an eye towards drawing others into the spotlight. I am quite happy to let anyone else be the center of attention. That's one of my favorite things about the ENFp. They like to be on stage.

    WorkaholicsAnon, are you sure your friend is SLI? To test him, next time in a group, see if he just hangs back when others are talking. It's easier to be shy when no one is watching.
    Yes, cyrano at this point i'm sure he's SLI. And I have seem him do exactly what you mention. In particular this one time when i joined the group he was in, and pretty much took the spotlight. He hung around for a bit, and then he left. And he's a Gabin doppelganger (including demeanor).

    Unfortunately i'm not around him anymore. I live many many miles away. and i guess i wouldn't really call him a friend. he certainly hasn't treated me like one. Just reflecting on my experiences and looking for new SLIs.
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    Quote Originally Posted by laghlagh View Post
    the SLIs i've known have seemed kind of shy whereas the IEEs i've known have seemed more outgoing so i don't know really know how to respond? :wink:

    but i agree that shyness isn't really type related.

    i'm not sure what you mean with the Fe thing.. like people who use more Fe will seem more outgoing? or only to people who value Fe?
    Yeah, both!

    I think the thing with SLIs that can make them seem more outgoing is their Te. They use Te in place of Fe, and it really can make them look very sociable.
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    It's about environments.

    Yeah, in a very high Fe environment with people that I don't know, I'm very shy, because that's now how I bond or how I like to bond, sometimes. I feel like there is social context going on that I don't know or don't understand and don't fit easily into, sometimes. But I've gotten a lot better at that since I came to socionics.

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    I know this SLI chick (I think she's SLI) who's got severe crowd phobia, but is otherwise not shy at all. She enjoys striking up conversation with random strangers, in fact.
    What do these signs mean—, , etc.? Why cannot socionists use symbols Ne, Ni etc. as in MBTI? Just because they have somewhat different meaning. Socionics and MBTI, each in its own way, have slightly modified the original Jung's description of his 8 psychological types. For this reason, (Ne) is not exactly the same as Ne in MBTI.

    Just one example: in MBTI, Se (extraverted sensing) is associated with life pleasures, excitement etc. By contrast, the socionic function (extraverted sensing) is first and foremost associated with control and expansion of personal space (which sometimes can manifest in excessive aagression, but often also manifests in a capability of managing lots of people and things).

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    To outsiders, SLIs can often appear as "extroverts" because we are the outspoken jokesters, living in the here and now, acting in the moment etc. regardless of any shyness which can easily be hidden, like any emotion.

    In contrast, IEEs can look introverted and shy because of their quiet, reserved nature.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleksei View Post
    I know this SLI chick (I think she's SLI) who's got severe crowd phobia, but is otherwise not shy at all. She enjoys striking up conversation with random strangers, in fact.
    I'm pretty much like that, too, though I don't fear crowds as much as I dislike them.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    SLI's are shy because they hadn't had love ?

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    There's an SLI girl in our study-abroad group. She's super quiet but she's very personable and friendly if you just have the initiative to talk to her. I wouldn't call her shy though, her quietness could be more of an asian thing.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleksei View Post
    I know this SLI chick (I think she's SLI) who's got severe crowd phobia, but is otherwise not shy at all. She enjoys striking up conversation with random strangers, in fact.
    That's a LOT like this SLI too (well i never realized crowd phobia, but he does seem to avoid like big fancy work holiday parties, etc). He'll chat up random people he doesn't know, whereas, I RARELY do this, at least not with the ease that he seems to. I usually try to assess what a person is like and whether we want to be friends with each other before i initiate gestures of friendship.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Parkster View Post
    To outsiders, SLIs can often appear as "extroverts" because we are the outspoken jokesters, living in the here and now, acting in the moment etc. regardless of any shyness which can easily be hidden, like any emotion.

    In contrast, IEEs can look introverted and shy because of their quiet, reserved nature.
    Yeah exactly, EXACTLY!! That's what i'm getting at. So you're like that too!


    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    There's an SLI girl in our study-abroad group. She's super quiet but she's very personable and friendly if you just have the initiative to talk to her. I wouldn't call her shy though, her quietness could be more of an asian thing.
    yeah, i guess my OP was about finding out whether this was actual timidity or just the all too well known (to me) Fe-POLR. Or both, and it seems like it could be both, in certain situations.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    It's about environments.

    Yeah, in a very high Fe environment with people that I don't know, I'm very shy, because that's now how I bond or how I like to bond, sometimes. I feel like there is social context going on that I don't know or don't understand and don't fit easily into, sometimes. But I've gotten a lot better at that since I came to socionics.
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    Hmm... I wouldn't necessarily call myself shy. Reserved might be a better word... I usually wait for other people to speak.

    Also depends on the situation, I guess. I bottle up in large crowds - it's a lot to take in.

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    I hope I'm not going to be know as the guy that revives dead threads

    Anyhow, as a child I was extremely shy, and wouldn't talk to anyone I didn't know. I opened up around friends as I made them and probably didn't start to come out of my shell until High School, although it was most noticeable my senior year. It has since improved even more. College didn't really help anymore in that area because I continued to avoid large crowds, parties, and anything else too social. I was pretty much a loner. But, what really helped me socially was working. I worked at McDonalds's and Wendy's over these years and was forced to deal with people in ways I wouldn't do on my own. I earned a lot of respect and friends this way and made me feel more comfortable in social situations. None of this though has made me truly enjoy activities more suited for a social extravert. I still prefer small gatherings with friends and family where I am rather outgoing, as most introverts are, but in large family/friend gatherings I become reserved once again. Although I'm not a real social person, oddly enough I feel as if I'm well liked.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post
    It's about environments.

    Yeah, in a very high Fe environment with people that I don't know, I'm very shy, because that's now how I bond or how I like to bond, sometimes. I feel like there is social context going on that I don't know or don't understand and don't fit easily into, sometimes. But I've gotten a lot better at that since I came to socionics.
    This is so true for me. It's strange how different environments bring out a totally different side of me. With people who aren't in my face and loud and harsh and annoying, I can be pretty talkative. If they ARE in my face and loudmouths, I gladly sit back and watch them act like children. It's all about how I mesh with other people. I liken Fe to loudmouth frat boy children I want no part of. Those people are also the people that always come at me on the defensive asking why I'm not "part of the group" which further sends me into retreat mode. Ew.

    But there are obviously certain situations in which I am genuinely shy--who doesn't have those situations? I only get like that when I'm pressured into talking in front of a lot of people... dun dun dun my public speaking fear. But normally I'm just super quiet and like to observe more than interact. When I do interact, I feel like sometimes I'm too straightforward. Like, they just look scared when I do that. It's not "feminine" or something. Does this happen to anyone else? But I am SLI after all so it is what it is.

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    In the above scenario I am not shy, just reserved, though I can also be boisterous for a while or talk at length in a smaller subgroup. I'm fine with public speaking as well, though not cheerleading (unless I'm at a show and really into a band). A couple beers usually gets me limbered up socially.

    The Fe posse generally finds me puzzling in such situations because I am resistant to their emo games (demands to play along when I have no genuine desire to do so are intrusive and draining) and because my flat affect makes it difficult for them to gauge my mood.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    I only get like that when I'm pressured into talking in front of a lot of people... dun dun dun my public speaking fear.
    I have that, too. Smaller groups and people I know/like - not so much of a problem.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    In my experience, the two SLIs I know in real life are much more inclined to approach me when no one else is around. ...and often because they are bored...

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    Quote Originally Posted by HandiAce View Post
    In my experience, the two SLIs I know in real life are much more inclined to approach me when no one else is around. ...and often because they are bored...
    Sounds about right.

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    cures boredom. creates bonds.

    What more could you ask for?
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Park View Post
    cures boredom. creates bonds.

    What more could you ask for?
    Shake dat bond baby!

    Absurd: You Ti dominants sure say things I don't really know where to put.
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    I've been told I have "Shy game"- I won't approach, rather I let my looks and mysterious glances do the talking- but other than that, no. Nor would I consider it a type related thing.
    "We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.".

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    ,
    Last edited by kalinoche; 10-18-2017 at 12:07 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lobo View Post
    Yeah, most SLIs are shy. That's almost like a rule of thumb.
    Am not. But you didn't hear that from me.
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