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Thread: IEI-ILI Comparative/Kindred Relations (INTp and INFp)

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    Default IEI-ILI Comparative/Kindred Relations (INTp and INFp)

    It seems that INTps really like when I rant and be critical, like they do, they are like 'Hell yeah' and give me a WHAT UP DOE....

    But then as soon as I show more of my real self, kind of like umm a loving boy that is sweetly optimistic and actually believes in his faggy gay man ideals of making the world a better place via shaman magic, and more magical and dreamy and romantic INFp-like, if I give a hint to that, they kind of laugh/scoff if off, or get like umm I don't know, just annoyed by that, and start to leave me alone. They say something biting and nihilistic about the human condition as a whole, but still part of me can't help but be ideal and wondrous with it. Even though at the time, I was definitely serious with my angsty rants, 110%, and I always am. It's almost like I'm tricking myself into darkness so I can feel the light on the other side, like I'm always waiting for that romantic pay-off to lift me up and encourage me when I'm down.

    Anyways just wanted to comment on this dynamic because I thought it was interesting.

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    redbaron's Avatar
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    My experience is very similar. It's like complaining is something they can relate to but actually feeling soft or vulnerable? not so much.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    how many INTPs is this based on ?

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    Every INTp I have ever met/interacted with, about 5 or 6.

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    this is at least true for how i feel about you on this forum
    INTp

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    And of course as an LII it's just the opposite for me. I find IEI negativity and criticism tiresome and at times aggravating, but softness or vulnerability humanizing and enjoyable.
    Quaero Veritas.

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    I plea guilty

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    INTP Kritik's Avatar
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    I guess it's nice being an exception.

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    I totally agree with you on this, B&D. When the INTp goes on a rant, I agree for a bit then get bored and try to distract them with the bright side... but then I remember that INTps hate the sun.
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    i work with this intp guy. you'd think we'd have trouble getting along being contrary and all. but we kind of don't have any trouble. but we do see things differently, however we always reach the same conclusions, which is where the rubber hits the road.

    i think it works with him due to the complementation in temperament, irrationality, logic (in a work setting), and because he values Fi and tries to have a good relationship. both democractic.

    it would be harder for leisure though or intimate. for sure.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by octopuslove View Post
    I totally agree with you on this, B&D. When the INTp goes on a rant, I agree for a bit then get bored and try to distract them with the bright side... but then I remember that INTps hate the sun.
    To reply at your metaphore: We just warn you how not to lose that sun.

    Critisism is a good thing, keep things going good. Believing everything will stay alright is naieve, we're just here so that things don't get fucked up.

    If you know the future, the most positive thing to do is warn everybody for the bumps ahead, so they can take measures to avoid them. Starting to cheer about all the good things that you see will still not make people happy if you didn't point out how they could keep / achieve those good things.

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    Default COMPARATIVE RELATIONS, IEI and ILI

    So, I have an IEI friend who is dating an ILI. I'm curious about this inter type relation. Does anyone have any idea about comparative, specifically this pairing?
    ENFj Ni subtype 3w4
    "And once you lose your way you have two choices. Find the person you used to be or lose that person completely"
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    Agreed, in general. I have a very close ILI friend and we were very very close to dating, but it was towards the end of high school, and I didn't want one of those awkward high school to college dating transitions, and I wasn't sure she'd go for me (but pretty sure, you know), but anyway, we're great friends, and we'd always have something to talk about. But I would have to strain somewhat to provide her need for Fi, she'd have to strain somewhat to provide my need for Ti, and there would be no Se in the relationship at all (to analyze from a socionics POV), which may be why it never happened in the first place, blah blah blah. Anyway, it can be a nice relationship, and there will always be an interesting topic of conversation. But both parties will end up more unfulfilled than annoyed; without some non-socionics/personality reason to stay together, I'd imagine they're likely to break up, as a romantic relationship, but could potentially stay friends afterward.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

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    I have an IEI friend. Very good friendship, we think pretty similar. Always nice conversation.

    I dated however 2 IEI girls (both subtypes) and the IEI-ni was just to boring and strange, though she was nice. The IEI-Fe was a very promising relationship since I had real fun with her, we had same kind of humor, but in the end it didn't work out for several reasons not really much type related.

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    I have both an INFj and an ISTj in my direct family. I get along well with both, although in very different ways. The relation with the INFj (my mother) is one of respect and understanding, whereas the relation with the ISTj (my brother) is one of passionate discussion and (friendly) psuedo rivalry. If I had to choose between the two, I'd probably pick an ISTj. Life is interesting around them.

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    It's funny to see how few people respond to threads in which relationships are discussed.

    Relationships give a nice alternative perspective on Model A, which enhances your understanding of it. Though few people take this route, and instead most choose to just stick with the poorly usuable descriptions of the 8 functions.

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    My dad's mom is and IEE and his dad's an ILE. Her talking bugged him sometimes and his lack of buged her sometimes, but they had a long, lasting marriage.

    Personally, I like LIEs. But as friends or business partners, not as a romantic option.

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    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    I like LSIs as... wait, nevermind.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinocchio View Post
    When I told her that I intend to quit her she said that was no surprise to her.
    lol epic
    <Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is and not

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    Default comparative relations

    I am an ENFP and I have a friend who is ENTP. We have great fun together, better than with other friends. We laugh a lot, have the same way of thinking humorously about things. It's so fun! But this combination wouldn't be for dating- totally different value systems. Really great for friendship though- the minutes fly by.

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    Creepy-male

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    I have a raging mancrush on my friend Dave. Dave is an SLI.

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    Quote Originally Posted by aixelsyd View Post
    Decent to good friendships. Not great for anything too close or serious, though.
    yep. similar viewpoints and humor, pleasant company, but boring after a while.

    same subtypes are best.

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    Probably not good to take relationship advice from anyone on here.
    INTp

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    my roomate/brother is ILI. Im iei
    the relationship seems alot like this description :Comparative relations between psychological ("personality") types
    He always finds a way to criticize me, especially about Te chores that iei's are stereotyped to hate.
    Particuraly true is the advice part...I can't follow his and always overreaches when I ask for a tidbit of data and tries to lecture me. Like I need a reminder of how to do a part of a thing(probably asking for Ti) and he has to lecture me.
    Oh thats what Te types tend to DO!!!! They can't condense down the help to a immediate instance and have to use Te to say EVERYTHING. Many people seem to complain how LSE for example talks and talks when you only needed yes or no. (like smiling eyes!!!!)

    edit; aka i like value/process ti he processes te
    Last edited by jughead; 07-03-2010 at 10:35 AM.

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    ESTp's are a lot of fun for ESFp's until they stop picking up or ignore their

    That creates a lot of emotions in the ESFp's that are not easy to compromise with.

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    Like the Cre-Cre pair, Base-Base seems real superficial, imo. It's like a meeting of minds but something is missing.

    IEI-ILI

    Good for conversations and getting experience of stuff you're missing out on. The style constantly alternates between business and small-talk. However, you come away feeling energized, if you don't stay too long.

    Since both have vital /, I see them as friends for life.
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    I'm not a massive fan of hanging around with ILIs for too long. I really like their sense of humour but they're a bit of a drag on group dynamics. If I were dating them I'd feel responsible for their social behaviour, which would do neither of us any good. I'd probably kill them with my vagueness and poor memory for specifics.
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    Too much Ni... I'm imagining an INTp and an INFp I know. As friends, there'd be lots of insight, seeing how things develop, and a mutual respect/appreciation for each other's long-term concerns developed from different angles... but truly, they'd be inable to help each other. Still lost in their minds, unable to realize what must be done NOW in order reach their objectives... or, with too much Ni, not even able to set objectives, or set goals, but just seeing how things are changing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mountain Dew View Post
    they'd be inable to help each other. Still lost in their minds, unable to realize what must be done NOW in order reach their objectives... or, with too much Ni, not even able to set objectives, or set goals, but just seeing how things are changing.
    This is why I was completely against it when an IEI and an ILI tried being together for a week.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    I think with comparative relations there is this false sense of similarity that is constantly being reinforced and then called into question. With ILIs, we sometimes reach the same conclusions on things but can't figure out how each other got there -- or, conversely, we approach things similarly but end up with radically different conclusions. We can establish common ground, but it feels like there's a constant underlying tension between my attempts to inject our interaction with Fe and the priority they give to maintaining Te. Often, we both leave feeling like the other person is missing "the big picture."

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    Coldest of the Socion EyeSeeCold's Avatar
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    Being with IEIs is almost like ILEs(i.e. comparatives are like extinguishment).
    It's pretty much impossible to keep interactions satisfactory to both parties, as each wants to focus on their preferred aspects. Bringing up a third person, who gets along better with one over the other, will definitely cause some problems.

    Personally I don't mind freeflowing interaction when it's toned down. Combined with some action I can handle it well.
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    Quote Originally Posted by limNol View Post
    I think with comparative relations there is this false sense of similarity that is constantly being reinforced and then called into question. With ILIs, we sometimes reach the same conclusions on things but can't figure out how each other got there -- or, conversely, we approach things similarly but end up with radically different conclusions. We can establish common ground, but it feels like there's a constant underlying tension between my attempts to inject our interaction with Fe and the priority they give to maintaining Te. Often, we both leave feeling like the other person is missing "the big picture."
    I agree with this. I was friends with an ILI back in my 20s and we were very drawn to one another but it came down to our Fe/Te differences which were glaring, combined with our mutual need for Se which neither of us could get from the other. Pretty hilarious actually.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    There's a lot of common ground as far as Ni goes, and because we're both INXp & value Se we can often relate to & understand one another in a lot of different ways. On the other hand we still have to be careful about avoiding each others PoLRs and straining to provided Fi & Ti to one another.

    I find myself caring a lot about ILIs, and find myself wanting to stick up for them when I see them having problems with Fe for some reason. They're adorable in their own little way, though they'd probably raise an eyebrow at me if I told them.

    Being around them for too long can really be kind of draining. It's annoying when they go off on me for being too silly about various things.
    Last edited by fox; 03-08-2011 at 04:42 AM.
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    Too much Ni... I'm imagining an INTp and an INFp I know. As friends, there'd be lots of insight, seeing how things develop, and a mutual respect/appreciation for each other's long-term concerns developed from different angles... but truly, they'd be inable to help each other. Still lost in their minds, unable to realize what must be done NOW in order reach their objectives... or, with too much Ni, not even able to set objectives, or set goals, but just seeing how things are changing.

    Yeah and being roomates bring a sense of frustration and anger as you realize this but must endure.

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    Coldest of the Socion EyeSeeCold's Avatar
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    I almost forgot about school daze...

    Me and my IEI were the biggest class clowns. Got in trouble multiple times for talking and laughing out loud in junior high. First day of senior high, I get called out in front of everyone cause we were joking a lot. We were definitely close back in school.


    I guess it's easier when you're still growing up, the Ego isn't fully developed yet.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jughead View Post
    Too much Ni... I'm imagining an INTp and an INFp I know. As friends, there'd be lots of insight, seeing how things develop, and a mutual respect/appreciation for each other's long-term concerns developed from different angles... but truly, they'd be inable to help each other. Still lost in their minds, unable to realize what must be done NOW in order reach their objectives... or, with too much Ni, not even able to set objectives, or set goals, but just seeing how things are changing.

    Yeah and being roomates bring a sense of frustration and anger as you realize this but must endure.
    Yes, I'm already beginning to feel the burn with my ILI best friend and anticipated this happening eventually if we DO become roommates which he desperately wants. I would rather continue living at home and spend the occasionally evening together. In doses he really DOES energize me so much and I'd rather not lose that.

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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    I can only be friendly with most IEE from a distance, I PoLR hit them too often.

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    I saw the characters of Luca and Jenny in this movie (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0283015/) as (possibly) ILI and IEI respectively.

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