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Thread: How it feels to be a gamma in an alpha world

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    Default How it feels to be a gamma in an alpha world

    How about you, have you had any conflict within your family due to differing types? How did that influence your behaviour and personality?
    Last edited by gracefully; 02-01-2010 at 04:08 AM.
    ESI (ISFJ)

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    Quote Originally Posted by AQ View Post
    And what makes it painful for me is when my Mum supports him, saying those are his beliefs. It is the Merry/Serious divide.
    She doesn't examine those beliefs in terms of outcomes and impact on people's potential/inner lives, she can't ...
    I agree with you on this that alphas seem to focus mostly on the outer lives of people, not on the inner lives as you said, what's really going on underneath.

    Still, a few things are hard for me to accept, especially since I can see other ways of doing things, and also doing without a few things for a larger goal.

    Also, even when the outcomes are clearly visible, decisions are taken keeping in mind only personal comfort. This leads to short-term happiness only.
    And, what actually irks me is, no matter how much suffering the rest of my family undergoes, they don't turn the suffering into something meaningful. As a result, I often see them undergoing the same problems again and again and again.
    Very insightful AQ. This is something I have observed too within my own family to an extent. Thanks for explaining it clearly.

    That apart, yes, thanks to Socionics, my relationships with my family has improved considerably. I tried explaining Socionics to them, too, and was the butt of all their jokes for quite a while
    lol. I have attempted to explain socionics to my family too, but it has not been met with much interest either. My dad can't get past that idea there are only 16 types(I'm assuming because of his Ne function).


    Also, I used to trust my intuition and judgment strongly, but now, I no longer trust my abilities so much. I am trying to rebuild this, as this has been the greatest loss to me. It will take time, though.
    Trust your abilities,there's a reason why you have them. It's something that you can offer the world that other people can't. My friend's Ni and Te has helped me tremendously in ways I can't even begin to describe.

    And, yes, having the "wrong" quadra around can distort the personality immensely. Only consolation is I too gave them enough hell
    lololololol
    ESI (ISFJ)

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gracefully View Post
    When I met my ENTJ dual, I felt relieved that a human being could actually accept me and like me for who I am. With him, I could put my hair down. I felt like I was able to have conversations with some depth (no offense to Alphas) with no requirement to put on an “expressive” face. I also liked that there was sharing of our lives, a feeling of trust and understanding that I never had before with anyone. I also appreciate that he’s punctual and responsible/dependable, more so than my dad.
    So, how was the sex?
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    So, how was the sex?
    haha, no comment. :redface:
    ESI (ISFJ)

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    Quote Originally Posted by AQ View Post
    AQ's quote
    This is very good. I definity can see and empathize with you, Maybe luck strikes that you now have the information to understand with clarity on social interaction, and in hope that you will know exactly who is it that you need in your lives. Your post has a vibe that gives the readers of putting them in your shoes, at least it did for me. It might probably mean that I relate to you by Ni.
    Last edited by 07490; 11-09-2009 at 04:28 AM. Reason: x
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    very tough situation to be the only one in the family in the opposing quadra. i liked your post yet i found my self thinking, yeah entp does do that, but it's not like they think they're making promises; it's more like a thought that might or might not work out. but i can definitely see why you would take stuff like that as broken promises. entp's can be kind of flaky. good for you w your razor sharp S memory...at least you can bring up good examples and talk about things.

    my family was all deltas, so for me it was all short end of the stick supervision and Fi...and most stuff w them will never never change plus my memory is kind of vague and non specific...due to this, i can't really talk to them about anything because the only examples i have are present ones. and present ones are no good since at this point in life it seems more important to simply detach from the family i grew up with.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Honestly, it sounds like you are describing the strife of being a quiet, introverted person in a society that obviously values extroversion and go-getteryness, much more than you are describing anything socionics related. If your parents cannot be supportive of your emotions or understand that you are naturally introverted, then I am sorry to hear that. Different socionics types is no excuse for that.

    You being 'expressionless' has to do with you being a pure natural introvert, like me. It has nothing to do with the psychological function Fe. Yes, people with Fe as their *base* function tend to be pretty showy but I value Fe, and I'm not that showy. I am more laid-back and expressionless like you.

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    I'm an Alpha (INTj), so far as I know, and my immediate family seems almost uniformly Delta. My mom is ESTj, my Dad is ISTp, and my Grandma is INFj. Fortunately, I don't really feel too excluded, as I probably would if my mom was ENTj, my Dad INTp, and my Grandma ISFj.

    I get along with all of them fairly well, though for most of my life (I'm 16 and a half), I did get into some pretty heated arguments with my Dad. I now think it's because of our relationship of Benefit, but he is the Benefactor and in a position of power.

    For some reason, I always felt more gravitated towards my mother. I share stuff with her the most when I want to talk about my latest interests or whatever. I suspect it's because she was "more dual-like" than an ISTp, even though I definitely don't hate or despise my Dad. In fact, I sometimes like his Delta ST knowledge regarding my truck, for instance. I just never really felt as comfortable having many one-on-one talks.

    The situation isn't fully analagous to the Gamma in an Alpha family, but I think I can have a decent mental format to imagine it. After all, one of my friends (ENTp) has an ESFj mother and may also have an INTj father. If I wasn't content with my own family, I'd probably be jealous!
    Last edited by Currere; 10-04-2009 at 03:32 PM.
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