Types are not about how sweet and gentle or overbearing a person is. There are going to be sweet, gentle people whom you will hate and there will be overbearing, loud people who you will enjoy. The reason why you like and dislike a person is just a lot more complicated then 'Oh I don't like you because you are overbearing.'
'Sweet and gentleness' isn't Ni or Fi leading or any of that and 'Loud and Overbearing' isn't Se-leading either.
IT'S JUST MORE NUANCED THEN THAT ARGH!
It's a *Psychological* theory. It's about how people think, what their values are, when the shit hits the fan, how they react to things. Not what they do, or even how they're doing it but 'what they think about how they're doing it.' And even that's only just beginning to scratch the surface.
A good way to determine type is to read people's energy. How your *internal* energy meshes with theirs. Their base vibrations. Don't overcomplicate things but don't simplify things either, wrapping things up too neatly too quickly. It's just that some people's energies really, really annoy you right? It doesn't matter what they do or what they say, you just don't like them. They could give you all the riches in the world and you'd still feel like something is 'Off', internally. And likewise, there are vibes of people that you really enjoy, right? It is internal energy/information metabolism and psychological innate processes. Anybody can *act* or be a certain way. If a certain *trait* annoys you, it's for non-socionics reasons. Does anybody like people they personally find rude, obnoxious? Of course not.
It is more subjective than objective, from an innate level because it's about how *your* energies clash with somebody else's and how can anybody tell you what you feel besides you? Everybody deserves basic respect, you could argue, but not everybody deserves your love or your time or your devotion. Not everybody deserves to see the real, internal, subjective you.
Why do we have favorites? Why do we have preferences? Everybody is so different. You go to everybody's desktop now, and it would all be organized a different way. Yet anybody could go out in society, and act overbearing, 'gangsta, shy sweet etc. The truth is, all of that is a MASK. The personality *is* the outside. But the true personality, the 'default' one is a reflection of somebody's 'true self', who they really are in *both* their mind's eye and the view of others. Don't be so sheltered and naive that you think somebody is your type just because they are superficially nice, sweet, gentle, caring with you. Because anybody can act like that! DO YOU GET ME!!!! YES YOU GET IT, YES!