"I shouldn't have to show you how I feel in actions, because I tell you in words."
"I shouldn't have to show you how I feel in actions, because I tell you in words."
What type would say this? [The person who said this is not healthy, btw, and I'm not saying it's a typical statement from any type... or is it?]
How would you react if someone said this to you?
A friend of mine asked me to type the "five love languages." Brilliand and I decided:
Words =
Quality Time =
Gifts =
Acts of Service =
Touch =
Hey, that's interesting. And those fit w the quoted person's type nicely....Originally Posted by Director Abbie
A friend of mine asked me to type the "five love languages." Brilliand and I decided:
Words =
Quality Time =
Gifts =
Acts of Service =
Touch =
Wait wait wait...I thoughtwas about visible emotions. I mean, I've heard the link between
Binary or dichotomous systems, although regulated by a principle, are among the most artificial arrangements that have ever been invented. -- William Swainson, A Treatise on the Geography and Classification of Animals (1835)
I guess I would say demonstrative emotions, and the emotions could be demonstrated through words, though not necessarily.Wait wait wait...I thought
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
"Demonstrative emotions", I like that.
Binary or dichotomous systems, although regulated by a principle, are among the most artificial arrangements that have ever been invented. -- William Swainson, A Treatise on the Geography and Classification of Animals (1835)
When I took the 'test', my highest score was actually in quality time.A friend of mine asked me to type the "five love languages." Brilliand and I decided:
Words =
Quality Time =
Gifts =
Acts of Service =
Touch =
Johari Box"Alpha Quadra subforum. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." ~Obi-Wan Kenobi
It's the absolute polar opposite of my SLI husband, too. "I don't have to tell you how I feel in words, because I show you with my actions." I don't think he's every actually said that, but he COULD have because it is how he operates.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
Ah, that is a million times more preferable... that's how it should be imo."I don't have to tell you how I feel in words, because I show you with my actions." I don't think he's every actually said that, but he COULD have because it is how he operates.
Last edited by female; 10-18-2009 at 01:16 PM.
Ok, ok, stop the train again.By "actions", do you mean what Abbie posted, as in "acts of service" or "physical touch"? I thought you meant like visible displays, like enthusiasm over getting a gift or...well, I guess that would involve a lot of words being exchanged, so...I want to change my answer. I'd take words over actions any day (sorry, guys.
)
Binary or dichotomous systems, although regulated by a principle, are among the most artificial arrangements that have ever been invented. -- William Swainson, A Treatise on the Geography and Classification of Animals (1835)
my SLI dad is the same way toward my mom, and that's how I am toward people I love as well. I think it's related to Fe. The person who said the original sentence is probably strong in Fe and weak in Fi or Te.
My mentality is, "I told you once how I feel; you should remember. Now I'll prove it with actions."
To me, both are absolutely necessary. I need to be reminded/reassured in words, but of course I expect the actions to match the words. But without verbal expression, there would definitely be a big part missing. Having said that, I haven't actually heard anyone saying what was said in the OP. That seems like an indication of some kind of complex in this area, like an overcompensation.
Distrustful. It almost sounds like they are trying to keep me from knowing something. But then, it would really depend on how they said it and in response to what.
Binary or dichotomous systems, although regulated by a principle, are among the most artificial arrangements that have ever been invented. -- William Swainson, A Treatise on the Geography and Classification of Animals (1835)
I think having Fi in the mental ring. I.E ego/super-ego have the highest possiblity of verbalizing this.
I think Fi 2nd function can sell these words very reliably and often do.
There is a disconnect for some between feelings and action because althrough the heart is sentimental, often our actions need to be more considered.
I think the whole "I shouldn't have to show you in action" is because there has been some criticism in this area. This particular problem I find occurs often when two Fi mental ring types in in a relationship as they both are looking for more concrete cues for feelings,.
In a sense a request for action to match up with feeling is often going to be viewed as emotionally manipulative by some types.
The demand for freedom of action is not neccessarily dishonest, it's just a natural preference for some people.
Verbalizing, "If you feel this way about me you must do this or that or act in this or that fashion?" Is this not a request for obedience?mental ring types are going to reject this sort of verbalization as a whole as they are conscious of the latent aggression of such talk. They need to be persuaded via passion, real emotional excitement or some sense of recripocal service rendered.
I have heard similar thing from IEI.
The person who said this is not healthy indeed. That sounds manipulative in the very least, and deceitful somewhere further along the worsitude scale.
I would overreact and be very upset with this person, and likely not attempt to resolve whatever conflict was happening. If they were just spouting ideals, though, I'd be wary that it's a doomed relationship.
I don't think it's a typical statement at all. I would say, though, that Fe valuing types trust more in reassurance made through demonstrative displays of emotion and possibly even clear statements about what the relationship is as defined by external markers. I'm speaking from pure theory, here, though, so... *hollers* EPHEMEROS!!! Talk to us.
EDIT
Amen. I still struggle with wondering if I'm being consistent though.
My dad is an EIE, and not the most healthy, but even so I kind of think his opinion would be that he should show in actions AND tell in words.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
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