Results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: Feeling protective towards ones supervisee

  1. #1
    The Iniquitous inumbra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    TIM
    954
    Posts
    5,989
    Mentioned
    70 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Feeling protective towards ones supervisee

    I was wondering mainly how people feel about their supervisees, which I know is a really general question, and has probably already been covered. But what I was mostly wondering is if it would actually be typical to not go the way of somehow despising your supervisee because their PoLR is your lead function and they ignore all of your input, but instead valuing them because you agree that their lead function is terribly important (just not quite as important as they seem to treat it as, but close enough), and then feel protective of them regarding their "weakness" (your leading IME) and able to accept that it just isn't a strength and they don't value it (and that's okay) because you do feel "aligned" with them in a subtle sense regarding your creative function. And then perhaps the people who not only disregard your leading function but don't share any quadra values with you end up becoming the greater "annoyance" when you have to be in close quarters with them because you can find no common ground whatsoever, where as with your supervisee you at least know you can rely on them to address and cover half of your quadra values... so then why feel that different about them than you would of your business relation, just with the exception that they suck at and devalue your leading IME even more than your business partner who at least can sort of address it as a great pain in the ass in their existance. (though of course the temperament clash would apply with the supervisee)

    (forgive the free use of IME/function as though they're interchangeable and the same thing... hopefully you know what I mean)

    I think that I've been thinking it would make more sense to feel protective of the supervisee (and then become the "benevolent leader" who tries to bestow their wisdom upon the supervisee, something that the supervisee may find endlessly annoying). But I realize this all depends on context, and I have not given one.

  2. #2
    Darn Socks Director Abbie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Southwest USA
    TIM
    LSE
    Posts
    6,728
    Mentioned
    237 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Oh sure, I often feel protective toward my supervisee. I like SEIs, but how can anyone function properly without a somewhat decent ?

    ESTj
    1w2 sp/so 1-2-6
    Brilliand's Younger Sister
    Squishy's Older Sister

    Johari Nohari

    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

  3. #3
    redbaron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    9,321
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Loki View Post

    I think that I've been thinking it would make more sense to feel protective of the supervisee (and then become the "benevolent leader" who tries to bestow their wisdom upon the supervisee, something that the supervisee may find endlessly annoying). But I realize this all depends on context, and I have not given one.
    this is the problem, over time. I love my supervisee but he's become so unhappy with me because he feels that I'm condescending and know-it-all, and now his unhappiness is having a huge effect on our relationship. I'd be fine if he weren't so prickly about it all the time. It really does effect the supervisee more than the supervisor but this becomes a problem for both of them. The supervisor just doesn't understand why the supervisee becomes so dissatisfied and grumpy and then starts to appear pathetic to the supervisor. I have seen it more than once, in several marriges. But again, there's nothing about him that really bothers ME, only the fact that I bother him. Which starts to bother me. If that makes sense.

    (and there are endless circular conversations in these relationships. things never get worked out, never can you reach understanding or agreement...)
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  4. #4
    aka Slacker Slacker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    North Korea
    TIM
    IEE
    Posts
    8,819
    Mentioned
    24 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    The one I'm closest to is my little brother, who has gotten himself into some terrible jams in his life, so yes but it isn't necessarily Socionics-related in my case.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

  5. #5
    Darn Socks Director Abbie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Southwest USA
    TIM
    LSE
    Posts
    6,728
    Mentioned
    237 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom View Post
    The one I'm closest to is my little brother, who has gotten himself into some terrible jams in his life, so yes but it isn't necessarily Socionics-related in my case.
    My closest supervisee is my younger brother too. It's partially family-related, but my youngest brother is an SLE, and I'm not protective of him any more than he's protective of me.

    ESTj
    1w2 sp/so 1-2-6
    Brilliand's Younger Sister
    Squishy's Older Sister

    Johari Nohari

    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

  6. #6
    Azeroffs's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    California
    TIM
    ENTj 3w4 sp/sx
    Posts
    2,216
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I think in general supervisors like and connect with their supervisee. The only time supervisors start to despise their supervisee is when they finally push them over the edge and the supervisee begins to act out. So, the supervisor feels like the supervisee is attacking them for no reason.
    3w4-5w6-9w8

  7. #7
    redbaron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    9,321
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    I think in general supervisors like and connect with their supervisee. The only time supervisors start to despise their supervisee is when they finally push them over the edge and the supervisee begins to act out. So, the supervisor feels like the supervisee is attacking them for no reason.
    yes, exactly.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  8. #8
    Creepy-male

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    yes, exactly.
    Is it always with a sense of "no reason" for you?

    As in, there's always this core sentiment that the acting out is for no real reason, with an additional attitude over the top of that of "Well, it's cool. That's an area we're mismatched on" or something? I'm not trying to accuse you of lacking empathy!

  9. #9
    redbaron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    9,321
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coolanzon View Post
    Is it always with a sense of "no reason" for you?

    As in, there's always this core sentiment that the acting out is for no real reason, with an additional attitude over the top of that of "Well, it's cool. That's an area we're mismatched on" or something? I'm not trying to accuse you of lacking empathy!
    At this point I really have no more empathy. Because all the accusations do seem to be for no reason! I think that in the beginning I was more like "well okay, whatever, no biggie" but now... it's become really annoying. Only because he doesn't let it go. He can't. It's not really his fault either so I don't want it to sound like I'm blaming him. I see things very clearly but (and here's where it's weird knowing socionics when others don't) I can tell that it frustrates him because he doesn't understand what's going on. Yet it's hard for me to explain it without irritating him further.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  10. #10
    Creepy-male

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    It's not really his fault either
    Early on, did you get into the pattern of thinking "Oh, it's this external circumstance" (like stress, natural low, whatever) or consider yourself as part of the problem? That last point was more where I was trying to get with my last post, but I'm tired and a song with lyrics came on

  11. #11
    redbaron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    9,321
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coolanzon View Post
    Early on, did you get into the pattern of thinking "Oh, it's this external circumstance" (like stress, natural low, whatever)
    oh yes, very much so.

    Quote Originally Posted by Coolanzon View Post
    or consider yourself as part of the problem?
    I think I had an inkling that it might be something about me but I could never figure it out really (this was long before I knew about socionics). I totally attributed it more to external factors and to his own personality which seemed to become more and more difficult with added stress and with the passage of time.

    at the moment, he knows I'm at the end of my rope with it and he's in one of his "good behavior" stretches. But given enough time, it will all come out again. this the pattern that's been established.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  12. #12
    Blaze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    5,725
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    I think in general supervisors like and connect with their supervisee. The only time supervisors start to despise their supervisee is when they finally push them over the edge and the supervisee begins to act out. So, the supervisor feels like the supervisee is attacking them for no reason.

    yes. agree w this. i've watched myself do this w infj and i've seen istj do this w me a million times. for a while there, i had a lot of istj friends and at one point, my work supervisor was an istj.

    in fact, this dynamic worsens over time and becomes entrenched and people can start to have lasting resentments. for someone else watching, it's bewildering.

    to me, there are just certain relationships that can only go but so far. supervision is one where the supervisee has to set some clear boundaries, but even that doesn't work since the supervisor can't really help it since it's their leading function.

    it's kind of a drag, really. that some relationships don't work out no matter how hard you try.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •