Bad things about enneagram type 7

[redbaron]

I want to hear all the BAD THINGS about type 7. Why they're frustrating to be around, what they do to avoid pain, how they're difficult... anything. lay it on.

also anything you can say about how 4s and 7s clash and are ultimately bad for each other.

[FDG]

Uhm, I can tell you some bad things about me:

1) There are people that can focus better than me. I can focus well when doing an activity but I tend to spread my energy out, sometimes the results aren't too good, or at least not up to par with my potential. (*) For example some people can study for 8 hours, others maybe work for 10 hours, and another one train 5 hours. Well, I prefer a day where I study 4 hours, work 4 hours and train 3 hours.
2) I can forget about something relatively important (usually something related to bureucracy and the like) if I think it doesn't "make sense". People can get annoyed because this can backfire, although I avoid doing it with serious stuff (like taxes)
3) I can get carried on when I'm having fun, sometimes (not something that happens often - maybe once a year - but can be irritating) drink too much, at which point I can be a bit annoying without realizing, too loud for example
4) If I don't like somebody I have no problem being very blunt/mean, even if it hurts harmony, my reputation, my future, etc. I can be impulsive in that regard
5) I like complex things, this means that often I will do something more complex even if it doesn't offer much of a reward (ex. I always took all the most difficult college courses, always take the steepest climbs, etc), and may lead to wasting time; I can't get motivated by something simple.
6) I need movement and being outside. I'm still young so I don't know how much this will impact my future career, but I can totally see how it's bad for white collar jobs with long office hours.
7) I can put myself in physical danger, and I frankly don't care if other people worry about this. I understand perfectly how this makes me seflish but...I think it's a side of my personality you have to accept in order to be my friend/lover/whatever.

This is what I think is frustrating about me to people that know me well. I don't know what I do to avoid pain because I mostly try to strategize my life in such a way that emotional pain is not present. No drama, etc. etc. As far as physical pain goes, well, I just am cautious when riding my bike downhill and or hiking/climbing down.

(*) this sounds like reframing, but I honestly can't say that "I have bad focus", because there's SO many people I know that have worse focus than me.

With 4s? The only 4 I briefly dated was too flaky with her feelings for me to be happy with her. She said she loved me, then proceeded to disappear for 1 month purposefully avoiding contact. Stuff like that breaks my heart. However - I don't think extreme emotional swinging is shared by all type 4s.

[Gilly]

Flighty, easily bored, not dependable, prone to make empty promises, potential scam artists and cheaters.

@ Fabio: really only those last 2 are related to being a 7.

[FDG]

@ Fabio: really only those last 2 are related to being a 7.

I don't think so...I live in my own personality, I know what is related to what. 3) 4) 5) are kind of typical of 7w8s.

[Gilly]

How does being you help you see what parts of you are related to the enneagram? 3 is something that will happen to anyone who is a party-goer, and to most with more frequency than you describe, so if anything the infrequency with which you describe it happening might be points AWAY from being a 7 4 isn't related to being a 7 or 8; you're just direct. I suppose 5 could be superficially related to being a 7, but 7s are innately more geared towards wanting quick fixes and distractions; seeking mental challenges in complexity is more a hallmark of 5s than anything.

[FDG]

How does being you help you see what parts of you are related to the enneagram? 3 is something that will happen to anyone who is a party-goer, and to most with more frequency than you describe, so if anything the infrequency with which you describe it happening might be points AWAY from being a 7 4 isn't related to being a 7 or 8; you're just direct. I suppose 5 could be superficially related to being a 7, but 7s are innately more geared towards wanting quick fixes and distractions; seeking mental challenges in complexity is more a hallmark of 5s than anything.

About 3), most people I go to parties with don't get as loud as me when a bit drunk, that's why I thought about including it in something that may be an "annoyance". But it's true that it might not be related to enneagram, who knows. I think 5) is quite typical for sx first 7s, it's probably even mentioned in one of the ocean moonshine descriptions?

[redbaron]

Flighty, easily bored, not dependable, prone to make empty promises, potential scam artists and cheaters.

@ Fabio: really only those last 2 are related to being a 7.

oooh, good ones!! thanks!

[redbaron]

I don't think so...I live in my own personality, I know what is related to what. 3) 4) 5) are kind of typical of 7w8s.

yes I think you're right. and anyway, I'll take anything I can get. I need a good dose of reality.

[Gilly]

This wreaks of self-talk You sure you're not 3-wing?

[redbaron]

This wreaks of self-talk You sure you're not 3-wing?

who, me?? what do you mean "self-talk"?

[Gilly]

3s are famous for telling themselves things and convincing themselves of shit that isn't true just to "keep chugging."

It sounds like you are looking for support for a conclusion about someone, and are looking for reasons to do something drastic that you otherwise might not have the gusto to do if you didn't feel certain of your decision.

[redbaron]

no conclusions or decisions, necessarily. Just trying to keep a balanced perspective. My problem is that I love 7s and see only the good in them. So I need to hear and be reminded of some of the problems and issues they have.

[FDG]

no conclusions or decisions, necessarily. Just trying to keep a balanced perspective. My problem is that I love 7s and see only the good in them. So I need to hear and be reminded of some of the problems and issues they have.

But you're perfectly balanced, my dear.

[redbaron]

But you're perfectly balanced, my dear.

yeah, 7s are great. *sigh*

[youfloweryourfeast]

I don't thinks 4s and 7s clash but they can later on. I think 2s and 7s don't get along at all from my observation. I think I help 7s actually because 7s are seen as not being able to form a really close bond with others, but I think they can with me. 4s are good at opening people up and to make others deal with their emotions. Since we are thinking about our emotions 24.7. I feel like I help 7s and 8s with this , how ever I do get the sense 7s dislike talking about their feelings so much.
7s can be way TOO much for me. some can be extremely energetic and it makes me drained like I have to keep up, or they get mad. they can also be insensitive to others like 8s but 8s r more retrospective.