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Thread: How do you see socionics play out in your lives?

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    BlackCat's Avatar
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    Default How do you see socionics play out in your lives?

    What are some ways that you see socionics play out in your life? Namely the relationships, but you can say anything.

    Well for me I see it in my family dynamics. My mom is one of 4 sisters, she is EIE, while the rest of them are all Delta. Her other sisters are EII (her twin), LSE, and SLI. Her mom is LSI, and her dad (deceased now) was SLE. She got along exceptionally well with her dad, she always says "I've always wanted someone like daddy". She and her mom have issues not related to socionics in their lives, and before her mom got older and more stressed they worked their problems out very easily.

    However, for her sisters...

    Her twin (EII) never got along with her dad (SLE), I always saw this play out. She was sort of uneasy with her mom, they had the typical mutual respect thing going on like you usually have in super ego relationships. Her other sisters never really had issues with their parents. But my mom has always been shunned out of their family "group", it seems like this is because they have an almost full quadra of Deltas. They just seem to have naturally shunned my mom for some reason.

    Meanwhile, all of the cousins are Gamma. I have an ILI older cousin who is 25, and I get along with him just great. My other cousin, who is 20, is an SEE. I also get along great. When we visit with family me and my cousins always end up going to do something on our own. Then they have their Delta group, and my mom is usually left feeling frustrated. Since then she basically doesn't really visit with her relatives anymore.

    But, on her uncle's side of the family it's predominantly Beta. Her uncle and aunt are an SLE IEI duality couple, while their children are a mixture of all of the quadras but Delta, so she gets along with them quite well.

    It's just very interesting seeing all of this play out in real life. What do you guys think?
    SEE-Fi 9w8 sx/sp

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    six turnin', four burnin' stevENTj's Avatar
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    Quite interesting. I've observed a lot of the same things. Particularly EIIs not mixing well with SLEs (and LSIs). Will post more later.
    Te-INTp/ILI, my wife: Fi-ISFj/ESI, with laser beam death rays for ESTp/SLEs, lol
    16 years of bliss in an Activity relationship

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    Danielle's Avatar
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    I haven't had too much opportunity to mix closely with SLEs, so I haven't really experienced conflictor relations. What I have experienced more is a natural antagonism toward expressions of Beta values, but it isn't always SLEs who are expressing those values.

    My immediate family: SEE, SEI, and ESE. Past friends: IEI, SLI, IEE, SEE (a bunch), ILI, SEI, LII, EIE, ESI, LSI. I haven't had much experience with my own type, but I have observed what happens when other people of the same type get together. I have had a few limited experiences with my dual, at least enough to know that there is something to the whole "duality" concept. I am still not sure how much can be done with it (like, should one marry one's dual or not, I don't know), but all of my relationships in life have played out as Socionics would predict that they would.

    That's why I keep coming back, and why I can never get the theory out of my mind. I don't find Socionics to be as useful as other theories when it comes to personal development, and I can be so much of a loner that I will go long periods of time experiencing the intertype relations only with my family. There is a lot I don't know about Socionics, for example I don't know why a lot of the intertype relations play out the way they do because I don't have a solid grounding in model A, the information elements, dichotomies, etc. But when it comes to the intertype relations, even if I don't know why things are the way they are, they just keep working out in the predicted ways.

    As one example, I've had a couple of friendships with SLIs, my activity partners. Besides friendships, it's pretty easy for me to fall into a comfortable conversational groove with SLIs (assuming I can get them to talk to me, and that's assuming I want to try because we both seem to be pretty cool just not talking but being in the same vicinity). They get my jokes quickly (and seem better than most at switching to humor mode with me). It's also pretty easy for me to discuss my problems with them, and they discuss theirs with me (and I get the feeling they don't usually talk about their problems that much). I am rarely bored with them, but we tend to take very frequent breaks from each other. I wouldn't even know why, although Socionics explains it.

    All of my relationships (of sufficiently close psychological distance) have played out close to the intertype relation explanations I have read.
    EII
    4w5, sp/sx

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    six turnin', four burnin' stevENTj's Avatar
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    Very briefly...

    My wife's family is a mess:

    My sis-in-law: ESE/ESFj (Alpha)
    My wife: ESI/ISFj (Gamma)
    Father-in-law: LSI/ISTj (Beta)
    Mother-in-law: EII/INFj (Delta)
    Brother-in-law: ??? <-- have never been able to type him!

    Anyhow, ALL of the relationships are strained at best. If it wasn't for the fact that they're family and blood, I really don't think any of these people would want to have anything to do with one another. I also don't think it's a coincidence that their quadras are all over the place. My brother-in-law I honestly have never been able to type, and I'm not the one to list a type for someone unless I'm at least 90% confident. He could actually very well be an ILI/INTp.


    My family is awkward but less messy:

    Mom: Alpha SF (thought she was ISFp, but ESFj could make just as much sense)
    Sister: "classic" SLE/ESTp (Beta)
    Dad: LIE/ENTj (Gamma)
    Me: ILI/INTp (Gamma)

    Naturally my dad and I get along great. Have never really had a great relationship with my mother which being an Alpha SF would make a lot of sense. I have no relationship with my sister, the SLE/ESTp, and for the most part have never had a good relationship with any SLE except for one, which was actually quite good. Both my sister and I seem to have a better relationship with my father, the LIE/ENTj. My mom and dad seem awkward to outsiders, but a "mutual respect" super ego relation would seem to fit.


    My own family:

    My wife and I are both clearly Gammas. Our 2yr old daughter is either a little SEE or an SLE. Either way she's a blast, but I'm leaning towards SEE at this point on some good suspicions. Our baby boy is 6 months and no clue yet.


    Overall Socionics has been a great help trying to figure out why various people might either have a good or bad relationship. In the event of a bad relationship or something that's just awkward, it helps me to understand the other's point of view and where they're coming from. And that's usually where it ends. I don't try to "force" things at all, because there's almost never a reciprocal effort. People are who they are and most likely aren't going to change at all unless it's absolutely necessary. Plus most people are going to think Socionics is a bunch of BS anyways, and no different than a lot of the stupid online quizzes you might take not realizing that it goes far far deeper than that and is many orders of magnitude more sophisticated as well.

    So I have a distant relationship with my mother and sis-in-law who are both ESE (ESFj) and socionics helps me to understand why. I do nothing beyond that. My ESI wife and her ESE sis also have a difficult relationship (Contrary) and it helps me understand that as well. What can you do about it? Nothing, unless there's mutual and strong interest at both ends as far as improving things, but usually there isn't.

    The biggest benefit to me personally in familiarizing myself with socionics is that I don't waste any time or effort wondering about or worrying why I might not have the best relationship with someone. Socionics has told me what I realized long ago. People have fundamentally different ways of seeing things and viewing the world, and also value completely different things. And since it also appears to be completely random as far as your personality and even that of other family members, it's really not your own fault if you have a fundamentally bad or awkward relationship with someone due to socionics/personality related conflicts or value differences. Either you're going to be able to have a good relationship with me naturally or you're not. If you're not, lets not force it unless it's absolutely necessary.
    Te-INTp/ILI, my wife: Fi-ISFj/ESI, with laser beam death rays for ESTp/SLEs, lol
    16 years of bliss in an Activity relationship

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