Sometimes when I'm suffering from some doubts or such, I find it useful to word doodle to clear my head. I did one today and it was unusually coherant, I personally found it quite amusing...but that's just me really.
The thing is these word doodles are basically narratives based upon a stream of consciousness and I bwas wondering if it would be any use for typong purposes and stuff. anyway... if anyone can get anything useful from it typing wise that would be great. (just to warn you my writing style has been called pretentious before)

“Who are you?”
“My name is Oprah Winfrey”
“What do you want of me?”
“I want you to kill”

This was the voice of the devil, disguised as popular television personality Oprah Winfrey.
At the time of this brief discussion the questioner (a young man named Tim Loganberry) did not realise he was speaking to the Devil. He thought he was talking to Oprah Winfrey.

The following account is based upon actual events and inspired by real people.

January 27th 2004 4.06am

Tim was awoken by an alarming sound. At first the true nature of the sound eluded him, but upon discovering his alarmed state and finding no other possible cause for his alarm he attributed this to the sound. The sound was of a cat knocking over a rubbish bin outside his ground floor bedroom window whilst investigating an odour that it believed was associated with food.
The sound would have rarely woken Tim as he was by all accounts a heavy sleeper (this has been investigated and verified by both surviving parents and a number (3) of former girlfriends)
However several minutes before the sound incident Tim had entered a dream and at the exact moment of the sound incident he was being violently attacked by a goat with a rich Austrian accent.

This memory exited Tim’s mind as soon as he awoke and therefore attributed his shock solely to the shocking sound. Whether the dream played any part in his feeling of shock is uncertain.

After taking a few moments (the precise number of moments has not yet been ascertained) to collect himself Tim became aware of a scratching noise. He could not state definitely the source of the sound but at the time believed that it originated from a coffee mug on his window sill. The coffee mug had the words “WORLDS GREATEST TIM” printed upon it and Tim could clearly read these words as he looked at the mug from his position on the large Japanese style bed with foam mattress.

Upon confirmation with himself that the sound was not an aural hallucination Tim made a conscious and premeditated decision to challenge the scratching noise, this was without making any further efforts to verify of the scratching noises point of origin, or the physical causes of it’s manifestation.

“Who are you?”
“My name is Oprah Winfrey”
“What do you want of me?”
“I want you to kill”
“Why do you want me to kill?”
“Because I am Oprah Winfrey”
“Am I supposed to just take your word for it?”
“Do not doubt me, I created you and I can show you paradise, or if you choose to disobey me something much, much worse”
“Prove it to me”
“You dare challenge Oprah Winfrey? Have faith in Oprah! Remember what happens if you doubt or disobey me!”
“Fair enough… O.K. Oprah what do you want me to kill?”
“Non-believers, spiders and Simon-le-Bon”
“From Duran Duran?”
“Yes, he has offended me”
“How?”
“I just think he’s a bit of a cock”

At this point Tim realised that he was in fact talking to the Devil disguised as Oprah Winfrey. He knew this because Oprah doesn’t think anyone is a cock. Oprah is Love.


The Devil uses many tricks to deceive, some much cleverer than the example presented here. Even so without a proper understanding of both the Devil and Oprah Winfrey, Tim could have easily ended up torturing and killing Simon Le Bon.

This is an extract from my self-help book “Telling the Devil from Oprah Winfrey”
The new life affirming follow up to my first book “16 Reasons not to kill Simon Le Bon”.