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Thread: Introverts, what do you see in extroverts?

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    Default Introverts, what do you see in extroverts?

    I have always been drawn to introverts. Assuming that the opposite is true, what do you introvert guys like in extraverts? I just don't see it

    this goes out to all introverts, not just the cool ass delta ones
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    Everything. Someone to motivate me, get me excited, initiate things, bring me out of my shell...need I go on? Hard for me to see how you couldn't be attracted to someone like that but I guess we're all different.

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    IEEs are uber sweet people-people who need realistic protection and someone to be more conservative (in terms of energy/time) and practical minded -- they need you!

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    Everything. Someone to motivate me, get me excited, initiate things, bring me out of my shell...need I go on? Hard for me to see how you couldn't be attracted to someone like that but I guess we're all different.
    I guess that might be the appeal, but I still don't really see it. heh I mean, I can go into SPECIFICS when it comes to describing what in introverts that attract me Seriously I could go on and on. Litteraly

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    IEEs are uber sweet people-people who need realistic protection and someone to be more conservative (in terms of energy/time) and practical minded -- they need you!
    YES! qft When it comes to what the IEE likes it all about Si though
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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    Everything. Someone to motivate me, get me excited, initiate things, bring me out of my shell...need I go on? Hard for me to see how you couldn't be attracted to someone like that but I guess we're all different.
    I agree! God bless 'em. Wish I could do that.
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    The one thing that comes to mind if we're talking about all extraverts is energy level. I like people who are very energetic, but I do go more towards more controlled energy (Ej ?).

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    I find myself very attracted to introverts but in the long run, it never works for me. When you're as solitary as I, you really can sit back and breathe a sign of relief when the spotlight isn't on you and you can just be yourself. I'd be curious as to why extroverts are attracted to introverts.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sereno View Post
    The one thing that comes to mind if we're talking about all extraverts is energy level. I like people who are very energetic, but I do go more towards more controlled energy (Ej ?).
    Rational energy.
    As opposed to all over the place irrational EPs, with Se bumping into things and Ne going all over the place.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    Se bumping into things

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    They initiate, and make me more comfortable initiating as well. They do things, and I like to do things with people but I am never the one to put it together. IEEs in particular often say the things I think and feel but would never articulate, and that makes me feel very comfortable.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danielle View Post
    They initiate, and make me more comfortable initiating as well. They do things, and I like to do things with people but I am never the one to put it together. IEEs in particular often say the things I think and feel but would never articulate, and that makes me feel very comfortable.
    It's odd, but somewhere along the line I did an almost 180 degree shift in this regard. I used to be very shy, and would never really express how I felt about things, wasn't really affectionate with anybody, not even my family. I blame this on insecurities I had, and it was like I felt trapped, thinking that this is not me. I just wasn't comfortable saying the things that I was feeling and thinking about because I didn't "sense" it in my environment. It's like the things in my head weren't "normal," when really it's just that I tend to look for deeper meanings to things. It was like I was going to be imposing something new to my environment/people, was going to stand out, and I didn't like it... I didn't want to come off as weird, which is why I didn't say/do anything. Sometimes having people initiate things, like talk about something deep or ask you to do something, doesn't really help you grow in confidence, because it's like you're feeding off of them in a way. I think that for EIIs the problem is in eliminating the illogical fear of "taking up space," because you might be contributing something that is very important and that might be appreciated. It's having something in your mind and releasing it, without having any validation in the environment that it is going to be accepted, and getting over the fear of imposing something "out there," that will definitely cause a reaction, be it good or bad to the other people. This has always been my inner demon, and the more I make it a point to initiate and simply "express," the better I feel.

    I remember that when I was kid I used to think about death for example, and I never talked about it with my parents or friends, because I thought that it was going to depress them. I've never liked to affect people's moods negatively, without a regard to my own "needs" I guess. This made me mentally stronger, but it trapped me in some kind of mental block. Getting to some kind of point here (), I can simply say that the best thing that someone could do to me, even though it's not an easy path, is to help me reach my goal of extroverting my "inner world," and really that's my goal in life. I want to be entirely connected to the things happening around me, have my presence felt, and have control over it. It's a work in progress, but I think I've made substantial improvements from my early days. This is why it repulses me in a way when I read Socionics duality articles in how you just depend completely on the other person for things. I want to grow, I don't want to have someone cover my weaknesses... Sure, I'd be comfortable, but I bet I'd be happier in developing my strengths and weaknesses.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Danielle View Post
    They initiate, and make me more comfortable initiating as well. They do things, and I like to do things with people but I am never the one to put it together. IEEs in particular often say the things I think and feel but would never articulate, and that makes me feel very comfortable.
    this and the other stuff mentioned so far, to me, just doesn't sound as that much It's not like I'm trivializing whats been said, its prolly the other way around. But you guys don't seem to ask for much. I guess other extraverts will agree with me on this. LOL you make attracting you guys seem like a walk in the park I mean, all the extravert has to do is what they normally would do... AHH EUREKA MOMENT

    On a second thought, thinking about it I'm not sure this holds in the real world? It can't be as simple as that? or can it

    Another question. Are you mostly attracted to extraverts or are you equally attracted to introverts?
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    Quote Originally Posted by dattebayo View Post
    this and the other stuff mentioned so far, to me, just doesn't sound as that much It's not like I'm trivializing whats been said, its prolly the other way around. But you guys don't seem to ask for much. I guess other extraverts will agree with me on this. LOL you make attracting you guys seem like a walk in the park I mean, all the extravert has to do is what they normally would do... AHH EUREKA MOMENT

    On a second thought, thinking about it I'm not sure this holds in the real world? It can't be as simple as that? or can it

    Another question. Are you mostly attracted to extraverts or are you equally attracted to introverts?
    I know it doesn't seem like that much to you. That's how I feel when people describe why introverts or EIIs are needed. Doesn't seem like it's all that world-changing.

    I am more attracted to introverts, because I am more likely to wonder what is going on with them and I can imagine all kinds of wonderful inner lives they may not really be leading. Talking to other introverts can be boring and difficult, but the initial attraction is stronger.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    I find myself very attracted to introverts but in the long run, it never works for me. When you're as solitary as I, you really can sit back and breathe a sign of relief when the spotlight isn't on you and you can just be yourself. I'd be curious as to why extroverts are attracted to introverts.
    for one thing, introverts are usually really, really good listeners. That matches well with people who enjoy talking on and on. Also, introverts are calming to extroverts scattered energy. Also introverts aren't usually as caught up in being in the spotlight and concerned about how they are appearing and all of the silly drama that goes along with that, so they have energy to do/think more interesting things.

    In addition, introverts don't talk as often as extroverts. So when they DO talk it is unusual and makes the extrovert really interested what they are saying. Where as, other extroverts talk constantly so extroverts zone out.

    Introverts also think about things more deeply and take that one-on-one time more seriously, where as other extroverts are planning the next party and so you don't feel your relationship is as special.
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Danielle View Post
    I know it doesn't seem like that much to you. That's how I feel when people describe why introverts or EIIs are needed. Doesn't seem like it's all that world-changing.

    I am more attracted to introverts, because I am more likely to wonder what is going on with them and I can imagine all kinds of wonderful inner lives they may not really be leading. Talking to other introverts can be boring and difficult, but the initial attraction is stronger.
    for some reason reading this was really soothing. I dunno - something about the wording or something? I didn't even get the meaning until I was done reading it, but I totally get it. weird brain moment

    ha i'm totally ranting, but to get to the point, I totally agree with you Danielle

    it's interesting how you also find introverts more attractive initially. I had this great theory that Introverts were naturally more attracted to extroverts and vice versa, but that seems that it was all that it was: theory ha ha

    It's freaky. I just read the stuff you wrote again, and it's still really calming to me. Ha ha maybe I'm just tired or something. Almost felt like a Si moment. Can I ask tou something? Are you by any chance a really calm person?
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    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    for one thing, introverts are usually really, really good listeners. *snip*
    Wait, what? Personally I think IEEs are the best listeners out there. Or maybe best conversationalists. Mixture of the two. Yep.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wrong Way Ticket View Post
    Wait, what? Personally I think IEEs are the best listeners out there. Or maybe best conversationalists. Mixture of the two. Yep.
    so true.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sereno View Post
    It's odd, but somewhere along the line I did an almost 180 degree shift in this regard. I used to be very shy, and would never really express how I felt about things, wasn't really affectionate with anybody, not even my family. I blame this on insecurities I had, and it was like I felt trapped, thinking that this is not me. I just wasn't comfortable saying the things that I was feeling and thinking about because I didn't "sense" it in my environment. It's like the things in my head weren't "normal," when really it's just that I tend to look for deeper meanings to things. It was like I was going to be imposing something new to my environment/people, was going to stand out, and I didn't like it... I didn't want to come off as weird, which is why I didn't say/do anything. Sometimes having people initiate things, like talk about something deep or ask you to do something, doesn't really help you grow in confidence, because it's like you're feeding off of them in a way. I think that for EIIs the problem is in eliminating the illogical fear of "taking up space," because you might be contributing something that is very important and that might be appreciated. It's having something in your mind and releasing it, without having any validation in the environment that it is going to be accepted, and getting over the fear of imposing something "out there," that will definitely cause a reaction, be it good or bad to the other people. This has always been my inner demon, and the more I make it a point to initiate and simply "express," the better I feel.

    I remember that when I was kid I used to think about death for example, and I never talked about it with my parents or friends, because I thought that it was going to depress them. I've never liked to affect people's moods negatively, without a regard to my own "needs" I guess. This made me mentally stronger, but it trapped me in some kind of mental block. Getting to some kind of point here (), I can simply say that the best thing that someone could do to me, even though it's not an easy path, is to help me reach my goal of extroverting my "inner world," and really that's my goal in life. I want to be entirely connected to the things happening around me, have my presence felt, and have control over it. It's a work in progress, but I think I've made substantial improvements from my early days. This is why it repulses me in a way when I read Socionics duality articles in how you just depend completely on the other person for things. I want to grow, I don't want to have someone cover my weaknesses... Sure, I'd be comfortable, but I bet I'd be happier in developing my strengths and weaknesses.
    I can relate to just about all of this. It's like an avoidance complex, the constant fear of wondering what will happen if this or that is said or done, so instead, avoid to divert the possibility of the bad consequences, thus also the possibility of good ones are passed by. Which than just turns into regrets and more avoidance...
    I'm not sure what effect duality would have on diminishing such complexes as I never experienced it, but I would imagine just being around someone who appreciated and supported you would naturally help with personal growth, since a lot of complexes seem to stem from the feeling that you're not good enough or needing to be "fixed"


    Quote Originally Posted by aixelsyd View Post
    Extroverts get the party started and give me a reason to do shit and make up for my boringness.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wrong Way Ticket View Post
    Wait, what? Personally I think IEEs are the best listeners out there. Or maybe best conversationalists. Mixture of the two. Yep.
    Yes,, we are. However, we also talk. A LOT. We listen to other people well, yet...WOW can we ramble!!! Have you seen my long rambly posts? Now just imagine if I didn't have to type that. IEEs HAVE to share our amazing insights about how we realized X and Y and Z because we saw a stray cat which reminded us of when we were going through a harder time and it strengthened us for the experience and now, blah blah blah. And so on.

    It doesn't mean we're not good at listening, but we really value being iistened to. Which is one of many things introverts rock at.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    It doesn't mean we're not good at listening, but we really value being iistened to. Which is one of many things introverts rock at.
    *points*

    Quote Originally Posted by Sereno View Post
    It's odd, but somewhere along the line I did an almost 180 degree shift in this regard. I used to be very shy, and would never really express how I felt about things, wasn't really affectionate with anybody, not even my family. I blame this on insecurities I had, and it was like I felt trapped, thinking that this is not me. I just wasn't comfortable saying the things that I was feeling and thinking about because I didn't "sense" it in my environment. It's like the things in my head weren't "normal," when really it's just that I tend to look for deeper meanings to things. It was like I was going to be imposing something new to my environment/people, was going to stand out, and I didn't like it... I didn't want to come off as weird, which is why I didn't say/do anything. Sometimes having people initiate things, like talk about something deep or ask you to do something, doesn't really help you grow in confidence, because it's like you're feeding off of them in a way. I think that for EIIs the problem is in eliminating the illogical fear of "taking up space," because you might be contributing something that is very important and that might be appreciated. It's having something in your mind and releasing it, without having any validation in the environment that it is going to be accepted, and getting over the fear of imposing something "out there," that will definitely cause a reaction, be it good or bad to the other people. This has always been my inner demon, and the more I make it a point to initiate and simply "express," the better I feel.

    I remember that when I was kid I used to think about death for example, and I never talked about it with my parents or friends, because I thought that it was going to depress them. I've never liked to affect people's moods negatively, without a regard to my own "needs" I guess. This made me mentally stronger, but it trapped me in some kind of mental block. Getting to some kind of point here (), I can simply say that the best thing that someone could do to me, even though it's not an easy path, is to help me reach my goal of extroverting my "inner world," and really that's my goal in life. I want to be entirely connected to the things happening around me, have my presence felt, and have control over it. It's a work in progress, but I think I've made substantial improvements from my early days. This is why it repulses me in a way when I read Socionics duality articles in how you just depend completely on the other person for things. I want to grow, I don't want to have someone cover my weaknesses... Sure, I'd be comfortable, but I bet I'd be happier in developing my strengths and weaknesses.
    EIIs can ramble too. I suppose it takes an extravert to push in and get them to actually put their thoughts out there too.

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    Wow sereno that could have basically been written about me..word for word...I never thought anyone else felt that way.

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    I really like how this convo has turned out
    This is something I find really interesting
    it was like I felt trapped, thinking that this is not me. I just wasn't comfortable saying the things that I was feeling and thinking about because I didn't "sense" it in my environment. It's like the things in my head weren't "normal," when really it's just that I tend to look for deeper meanings to things. It was like I was going to be imposing something new to my environment/people, was going to stand out, and I didn't like it... I didn't want to come off as weird, which is why I didn't say/do anything.
    And then this
    the problem is in eliminating the illogical fear of "taking up space," because you might be contributing something that is very important and that might be appreciated. It's having something in your mind and releasing it, without having any validation in the environment that it is going to be accepted, and getting over the fear of imposing something "out there," that will definitely cause a reaction, be it good or bad to the other people
    The funny thing is, I actually feel like you Sereno 49% of the time, believe it or not heh. Especially the thing with not taking up space. But then the last 51% just thinks, to h*** with it. It’s more important to just get whatever goes on inside out.
    I actually don’t mind standing out and making a fool of myself, though. This may be another reason why I just blurt out whatever is on top of my head.
    But I also believe that the more angels you can get on any subject the better. I mean peoples viewpoints and experience, isn’t that what it is all about. To me there is no such thing as a stupid input. I bet lots of ppl here disagree and think of me as a total airhead, but to me all input is potentially valuable. It’s not the articulation that matters to me either, but the contents. And even the most simple input can give a unexpected angle to help shed light on a topic
    I had another thing I wanted to post, but sort of got lost. Oh this

    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    Wow sereno that could have basically been written about me..word for word...I never thought anyone else felt that way.
    This is an excellent example why speaking your mind is always good.
    To be totally corny, sharing makes ppl come closer and feel less lonely ha ha

    Another funny thing is I actually always nod a lot when I read your posts. I like to think that I’m like an EII on the inside, but no one knows cuz it just doesn’t show
    Also I feel that you put a lot of thought into your posts, which is something I really appreciate, as my own attention span is 2 sec at the max, so it feels that what you are saying is more thought through. I tend to comment as I read other ppls posts, without any kind of filter
    n00bIEE

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    Quote Originally Posted by aixelsyd View Post
    Extroverts get the party started and give me a reason to do shit and make up for my boringness.
    Extroverts of my liking always get me into new things, give route for my thinking to expand onto new unthought realms (since they're defined as having a wider array of interests), not to mention all of the special benefits of the SEE and Se that I think you're clarifying, aixelsyd. That is something I obviously need. For extroverts, it might as well be the opposite, is that they need specialization of a certain concern. Although sometimes I wonder about myself, where all of the specialization ends up at then end of the day... Opposites do attract, as Bullets says.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    I find myself very attracted to introverts but in the long run, it never works for me. When you're as solitary as I, you really can sit back and breathe a sign of relief when the spotlight isn't on you and you can just be yourself. I'd be curious as to why extroverts are attracted to introverts.
    i must have missed this

    It's interesting that you are attracted by introverts. Danielle mentioned something similar. Know what, I was gonna answer it here, but I'll start another thread heh
    n00bIEE

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sereno View Post
    It's odd, but somewhere along the line I did an almost 180 degree shift in this regard. I used to be very shy, and would never really express how I felt about things, wasn't really affectionate with anybody, not even my family. I blame this on insecurities I had, and it was like I felt trapped, thinking that this is not me. I just wasn't comfortable saying the things that I was feeling and thinking about because I didn't "sense" it in my environment. It's like the things in my head weren't "normal," when really it's just that I tend to look for deeper meanings to things. It was like I was going to be imposing something new to my environment/people, was going to stand out, and I didn't like it... I didn't want to come off as weird, which is why I didn't say/do anything. Sometimes having people initiate things, like talk about something deep or ask you to do something, doesn't really help you grow in confidence, because it's like you're feeding off of them in a way. I think that for EIIs the problem is in eliminating the illogical fear of "taking up space," because you might be contributing something that is very important and that might be appreciated. It's having something in your mind and releasing it, without having any validation in the environment that it is going to be accepted, and getting over the fear of imposing something "out there," that will definitely cause a reaction, be it good or bad to the other people. This has always been my inner demon, and the more I make it a point to initiate and simply "express," the better I feel.
    Wow. This. A thousand times this. I still can't do it unless I'm very comfortable with the person I'm talking to,almost to the point where I can understand how they will react. Which somewhat invalidates matters anyway.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Errant View Post
    Wow. This. A thousand times this. I still can't do it unless I'm very comfortable with the person I'm talking to,almost to the point where I can understand how they will react. Which somewhat invalidates matters anyway.
    Sereno rocks! You introverted guys should say what you think more often Just saying
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    The problem I have is that when I try to talk about things, I get quite self-conscious about how I'm trying to explain things. The way I see it, my thoughts are like this big clump of tangled up bits of string. They're all linked and related, but generally only one's relevant to the conversation at hand. If I'm slow and careful, I can tease out the right bit of string, lay it out straight and it makes sense. Well, to me at least. But the whole ball made sense as well in my head as well, so that might not matter as much. But anyway, a lot of the time I don't have the liberty of taking my own time with a conversation (ie someone asks me face-to-face about a problem they have with someone) so I have to try and pull it all out quickly. If/when I fuck that up, I just blurt out this wordknot that makes no sense to the other person, and all I can do is give them this helpless look, apologise and change the subject. I used to do it to Khola a lot. ("He likes you because, well, he just does. You can't see it?" "What sort of things?" "... D: *flee*")

    But extraverts like helping with knots!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sereno View Post
    I remember that when I was kid I used to think about death for example, and I never talked about it with my parents or friends, because I thought that it was going to depress them. I've never liked to affect people's moods negatively, without a regard to my own "needs" I guess. This made me mentally stronger, but it trapped me in some kind of mental block. Getting to some kind of point here (), I can simply say that the best thing that someone could do to me, even though it's not an easy path, is to help me reach my goal of extroverting my "inner world," and really that's my goal in life. I want to be entirely connected to the things happening around me, have my presence felt, and have control over it. It's a work in progress, but I think I've made substantial improvements from my early days. This is why it repulses me in a way when I read Socionics duality articles in how you just depend completely on the other person for things. I want to grow, I don't want to have someone cover my weaknesses... Sure, I'd be comfortable, but I bet I'd be happier in developing my strengths and weaknesses.
    Hmm, then the duality articles you read must be missing something (not surprising). The underlying point of duality is that you both develop psychologically (Rick's talks about this some on his dualization page, I think). If you just grow to use someone else as a replacement, or a crutch, in decision making, that's not really growing, and it's a lesser form of duality. I'm not really sure how to differentiate between the two in terms of what really causes the more healthy psychological development in duality, but it is supposed to be part of it. It's how you become dualized - you're supposed to better be able to understand your dual and relate better to them (and even attract them more) the more you are around them. This involves them influencing (and expanding) your decision making actual psychological development. If I'm overstepping Rick's article then I'll say I'm speaking of myself and my own understandings.


    Getting to some kind of point here (), I can simply say that the best thing that someone could do to me, even though it's not an easy path, is to help me reach my goal of extroverting my "inner world," and really that's my goal in life. I want to be entirely connected to the things happening around me, have my presence felt, and have control over it
    This is going to sound ironic or perhaps staged, but, I realize a major part of things for me is connecting my "inner world" to my external world. Minde has brought about various forms of compartmentalization that I had/have, and was the first person to point it out in the way she did. For me it has to do with being able to be so simply task or objective oriented and not having a conscious connection to other things, or even thinking I need one.

    So while I am not sure it is a "goal in life", I definitely can feel a sense that 'my dual' helps me by connecting my inner and outer worlds. I suspect that the connection process varies for different people or dual/type relationships, (perhaps my comment about compartmentalization might not apply to everyone) but, I suppose I can see a general trend where there is some sort of mutual assistance in terms of completeness (that sounds a bit fairy-tale, so I'm still not so sure how I feel about it... but I do see a bit of something here). "I want to be entirely connected to the things happening around me, have my presence felt, and have control over it" - I feel like that is something that I help EIIs do, really. Particularly in terms of implementation and execution.


    PS: (general comments)
    As an EII, 'growth', particularly in a relational/relationship sense, should be pretty important. So I can see how the idea of 'mere dependence' would be particularly unappealing. Also, in terms of LSE/EII duality, I've gotten a general sense (even from profiles) that the nature of growth and development over time is particularly important, to the couple and to how the couple functions. I suspect that each dual couple has their own way of going about that, but, I'm not really sure. There's probably variation in terms of valued functions / quadra values and maybe even rationality/irrationality, but I'm not sure. This is somewhat theoretical and 'magical' still, but, I don't see it as being too far fetched.
    Last edited by UDP; 08-14-2009 at 07:51 PM.

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    I think its amusing how there are so many more responses to this this thread than to the reverse (what extraverts see in introverts).
    LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP



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    Quote Originally Posted by warrior-librarian View Post
    I think its amusing how there are so many more responses to this this thread than to the reverse (what extraverts see in introverts).
    Even though this thread is two days older than the other thread?

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    Quote Originally Posted by dattebayo View Post
    Sereno rocks! You introverted guys should say what you think more often Just saying
    haha, thanks. I do tend to keep what I think in my head, especially if I don't see the point in mentioning it. And yes, I tend to put a lot of thought into what I write, especially if it's more than one paragraph .

    Going back to the OP, I tend to defend extraverts (or anyone for that matter) when they do something that leaves them very exposed, what you would call "making a fool of myself." If there's a group setting and all of a sudden someone says or does something that makes them stand out in a weird/awkward way I'll be the first one to try to redirect the topic of conversation or just ignore what just happened.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    Hmm, then the duality articles you read must be missing something (not surprising). The underlying point of duality is that you both develop psychologically (Rick's talks about this some on his dualization page, I think). If you just grow to use someone else as a replacement, or a crutch, in decision making, that's not really growing, and it's a lesser form of duality. I'm not really sure how to differentiate between the two in terms of what really causes the more healthy psychological development in duality, but it is supposed to be part of it. It's how you become dualized - you're supposed to better be able to understand your dual and relate better to them (and even attract them more) the more you are around them. This involves them influencing (and expanding) your decision making actual psychological development. If I'm overstepping Rick's article then I'll say I'm speaking of myself and my own understandings.


    This is going to sound ironic or perhaps staged, but, I realize a major part of things for me is connecting my "inner world" to my external world. Minde has brought about various forms of compartmentalization that I had/have, and was the first person to point it out in the way she did. For me it has to do with being able to be so simply task or objective oriented and not having a conscious connection to other things, or even thinking I need one.

    So while I am not sure it is a "goal in life", I definitely can feel a sense that 'my dual' helps me by connecting my inner and outer worlds. I suspect that the connection process varies for different people or dual/type relationships, (perhaps my comment about compartmentalization might not apply to everyone) but, I suppose I can see a general trend where there is some sort of mutual assistance in terms of completeness (that sounds a bit fairy-tale, so I'm still not so sure how I feel about it... but I do see a bit of something here). "I want to be entirely connected to the things happening around me, have my presence felt, and have control over it" - I feel like that is something that I help EIIs do, really. Particularly in terms of implementation and execution.


    PS: (general comments)
    As an EII, 'growth', particularly in a relational/relationship sense, should be pretty important. So I can see how the idea of 'mere dependence' would be particularly unappealing. Also, in terms of LSE/EII duality, I've gotten a general sense (even from profiles) that the nature of growth and development over time is particularly important, to the couple and to how the couple functions. I suspect that each dual couple has their own way of going about that, but, I'm not really sure. There's probably variation in terms of valued functions / quadra values and maybe even rationality/irrationality, but I'm not sure. This is somewhat theoretical and 'magical' still, but, I don't see it as being too far fetched.
    Yeah, I agree with what you're saying, makes sense.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Coolanzon View Post
    EIIs can ramble too. I suppose it takes an extravert to push in and get them to actually put their thoughts out there too.
    Yes, I can be rather long-winded and share a lot of what I'm thinking. (Though, as a side note, I'd like to point out that even if Sereno's post was long, I doubt it was comprehensive of his thoughts - my guess is he worded it carefully so as to keep things fairly concise and make sure the point didn't get lost). But the circumstances need to be right for me to actually just start sharing a lot. And I'm not sure an extrovert "pushing" me will do it all the time. For one thing, I don't instinctively like to be pushed to do things, even if it isn't intentional. For another, if someone pushes for my thoughts on something, I'll try to give them what I think they're wanting, not necessarily the full scope of my thoughts. When I really share a lot is when, as Sereno said, I feel it is wanted and not "in the way". Which means room needs to be made, if that makes sense. And sometimes I think that some people feel uncomfortable when there is "room" in a conversation, so they keep talking and pushing to fill in those "gaps". What is nice is when someone indicates and maintains interest, but doesn't try to pry anything from me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    This is going to sound ironic or perhaps staged, but, I realize a major part of things for me is connecting my "inner world" to my external world. Minde has brought about various forms of compartmentalization that I had/have, and was the first person to point it out in the way she did. For me it has to do with being able to be so simply task or objective oriented and not having a conscious connection to other things, or even thinking I need one.
    Perhaps you mean "...has brought up..."? I should hate to think I brought about various forms of compartmentalization in you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sereno View Post
    haha, thanks. I do tend to keep what I think in my head, especially if I don't see the point in mentioning it. And yes, I tend to put a lot of thought into what I write, especially if it's more than one paragraph .

    Going back to the OP, I tend to defend extraverts (or anyone for that matter) when they do something that leaves them very exposed, what you would call "making a fool of myself." If there's a group setting and all of a sudden someone says or does something that makes them stand out in a weird/awkward way I'll be the first one to try to redirect the topic of conversation or just ignore what just happened.
    *nods* I know the feeling. Both of them.
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    "..has brought about the realization of various forms of compartmentalization..."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Minde View Post
    Yes, I can be rather long-winded and share a lot of what I'm thinking. (Though, as a side note, I'd like to point out that even if Sereno's post was long, I doubt it was comprehensive of his thoughts - my guess is he worded it carefully so as to keep things fairly concise and make sure the point didn't get lost).
    Yeah, I could have written more, but chose not to. I like writing so that it's all cohesive, but it takes me a long time .

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    Everything. Someone to motivate me, get me excited, initiate things, bring me out of my shell...need I go on? Hard for me to see how you couldn't be attracted to someone like that but I guess we're all different.
    Introverts aren't pushy, being insecure is endearing, you're more likely to wait for me to finish talking before talking, I'm more likely to listen to you because you don't talk just for the sake of talking...I like introverts.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    Introverts aren't pushy, being insecure is endearing, you're more likely to wait for me to finish talking before talking, I'm more likely to listen to you because you don't talk just for the sake of talking...I like introverts.
    I'd be careful about conflating introversion with insecurity. Extroverts can be insecure about things too
    "And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Roald Dahl

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    Quote Originally Posted by Arctures View Post
    I'd be careful about conflating introversion with insecurity. Extroverts can be insecure about things too
    I didn't say introverts were insecure. Please ignore my incinuations.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    I didn't say introverts were insecure. Please ignore my incinuations.
    "Insinuations"...

    (It's related to "sinew" not "incinerate.")
    Last edited by Brilliand; 04-01-2010 at 04:19 AM.



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    The remind me of what it is to give a damn.

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    Introverts are generally less obtrusive and annoying, which is nice.

    I really enjoy being able to 'pursue' or 'initiate' things - or more so, really, someone who appreciates me doing that. I wouldn't wan to dictate everything, that's boring. But someone who doesn't mind me being that way, it's fun and appealing. That applies to relationships and physical things, particularly. I find, really, that EIIs fit really well with that because they don't have S, and they aren't irrational or extraverted either, so it's nice for me.

    They tend to allow me to 'talk' when I want, and it can be less confusing than when two extratims/extraverted people talk - there's more often a focus on a line of conversation.

    When an introvert feels comfortable talking to you openly about things, that makes me feel special or accepted in some way, which I like.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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