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Thread: How do ILIs-INTps act when they are interested/attracted to someone?

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    take a second of me sarinana's Avatar
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    Default How do ILIs-INTps act when they are interested/attracted to someone?

    How do you tend to act when you like somebody and know that the other person likes you back?

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    take a second of me sarinana's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aixelsyd View Post
    Dunno because whenever I've liked somebody, I didn't know for certain if they liked me so I assumed they didn't even though later I realized how blaringly obvious it was that they did.
    lol yesterday I was talking with my ILI best friend and I was surprised when after knowing each other for almost 4 years and having close friendship for two years she didn't knew I call her my best friend!!!

    But my actual question was more about romance business since I think I am having a thing with this another ILI right now.

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    Jarno's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarinana View Post
    How do you tend to act when you like somebody and know that the other person likes you back?
    isn't that the time when you put your pants down.

    oke now seriously. I just act nice back. That's all. I'm not that much into initiative if that's what you are looking for.

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    take a second of me sarinana's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    isn't that the time when you put your pants down.

    oke now seriously. I just act nice back. That's all. I'm not that much into initiative if that's what you are looking for.
    I was having lots of trouble with even hearing a word from ILI for some time so it was mostly me talking....and now he turned totally opposite! He started joke a lot... also this week wasn't a day he wouldnt text me with 'Hi' and he is usually the first one to do this probably because he wakes up earlier than me.....but anyway this feels great!

    Another thing I noticed he doesn't do anything serious in his life so I told him he should try searching for a job. Result: Next week he is going for an interview.

    I was just wondering is this typical behavior?

    In the end he might be not ILI
    Last edited by sarinana; 01-28-2010 at 05:30 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sarinana View Post
    I was having lots of trouble with even hearing a word from ILI for some time so it was mostly me talking....and now he turned totally opposite! He started joke a lot... also this week wasn't a day he wouldnt text me with 'Hi' and he is usually the first one to do this probably because he wakes up earlier than me.....but anyway this feels great!

    Another thing I noticed he doesn't do anything serious in his life so I told him he should try searching for a job. Result: Next week he is going for an interview.

    I was just wondering is this typical behavior?
    I'd say those are the signs
    ...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.

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    IME an ILI who has strong feelings for you will keep them to himself for the most part unless you make it perfectly clear that you want him too. I think that if he's texting you that often and showing he's happy to see/hear from/be around you, that's a lot of extra effort that he probably wouldn't put forth if he wasn't very into you. Still, he'll probably not be the one to make a big move first, so it's your go

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    take a second of me sarinana's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Warlord View Post
    I'd say those are the signs
    If this is typical then ILIs are seriously greatest people in the world!

    Now I'm gonna cry from happiness because I never thought I would meet any ILI so soon. And later I will cry from sadness because I'm leaving this town next Friday.

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    Quote Originally Posted by aixelsyd View Post
    Even if it is not as you hoped, I believe many SEEs and ILIs can continue to be friends and look past that, at least going from my personal experience as an ILI and according to some Russian socionists, SEEs prefer to salvage friendships in that regard, but that's just theory, too.
    This is true.

    My ILI guy friend and I dated for two and a half years [we'd been longtime friends before that], but broke up bc we wanted different things. A year or so later we ran into each other and talked for a few minutes, then I invited him to hang out and we've been best friends ever since, with no weirdness [hard as that may be to believe for some]. It was important to both of us to "salvage" the friendship.

    So I agree w aixelsyd: even if you do move away, you may have found a true lifelong friend....
    Last edited by female; 07-22-2009 at 11:35 PM. Reason: misspelled aixelsyd's name

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    Quote Originally Posted by songofsappho View Post
    IME an ILI who has strong feelings for you will keep them to himself for the most part unless you make it perfectly clear that you want him too. I think that if he's texting you that often and showing he's happy to see/hear from/be around you, that's a lot of extra effort that he probably wouldn't put forth if he wasn't very into you. Still, he'll probably not be the one to make a big move first, so it's your go
    Yeah it's like this, this is a good post.
    ...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.

    INTp

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    Quote Originally Posted by sarinana View Post
    How do you tend to act when you like somebody and know that the other person likes you back?
    If it's a m/f thing: panic. usually.
    Greetings, ragnar
    ILI knowledge-seeker

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    um.. usually i try and let them make the first move, and pay attention so that i can play off of things that they do and mess around. but i dont actually come up with things to do, i just react to what they do. you can tell if i pay attention to you when there isn't really much relevant reason to pay attention to you that i probably like you on some level. if you're hot or esfp then it is very likely i like you
    INTp

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    uh huh, i'd prolly NOT make the first move, but i think it's pretty obvious that i like him back too.
    i'd talk to him more, give him more attention, ask him out...
    and... i think i tend tease/joke with the people i like. =\
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    Quote Originally Posted by aixelsyd View Post
    Anyways, if you like the ILI, as the SEE, you should make the first move. Be calm but direct about it. Unless you say it loud and clear, you can't expect an ILI to believe you have feelings unless they feel differently and can see that you like them because that also can be the case. Either way, be honest. You'll do them and yourself a favor.
    yea, i think ^ is very important.
    because most of the time when someone tells me they like me, i don't believe them.
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    If I like someone who likes me, I usually proceed cautiously, but I still act interested, not like I'm not interested.

    Yeah I like insulting and joking. It gets me really hot. One time I was drunk, and I don't get drunk anymore, and I insulted (indirectly) the hell out a few girls I was attracted to, and they were smart/drunk enough to catch on, and naturally they probably found it to be rude, but they had some good laughs nonetheless.

    I like the phrase "I'm not mean, I'm just arrogant."

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    No. I don't think I'm rude with most of the people I like, which aren't many. Usually when I'm in a crazy state I come out and do that, but mostly I'm just reserved, observing from a distance, and not talkative. I could go on about this stuff actually. Perception of social interactions never ends!

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    Right. If I liked more people, or probably better put, if I liked people more, I might be inclined to and rather deal with the people involved, and there would be less perception of the social affairs from a distance. In my actual case, I might have to conclude, there would be much less perception of the social affairs If I were to partake, and the reason why there is dislike is because my perception becomes terminated to a certain degree. Though now I'm just being subjective. I'm sure there are unsaid reasons from the opposing argument why one would partake, but I'm unable to grasp the reasons at this point. What do you think?

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    I do not think it has anything to do with being a nerd per se, more like a reluctance to share certain aspects due to a lack of understanding of their value. Fe types have this way of just talking about everything they have going on that makes Fe POLR types scratch their heads in bewilderment. Fe POLR types perfer to discuss judgements about a situation, which I believe comes from a focus on methods over concepts, or at least correlates very strongly to those "concepts." I believe Fe types, or at least valuers self-disclose like that because they are looking for someone who they can not only blow off steam too, but who will relate to them, while also providing them with a clear framework for the events. This provides them with some understanding that helps them to tackle not only with their feelings, but also with the situation at hand. Keeps them focused.

    Sorry that this is not exactly to topic, but sometimes I just feel a need to clarify certain points that I get sick of seeing propagated.

    On second thought I think I may have Fe and Fi reversed on this one so do not quote me.
    Last edited by Erk; 07-31-2009 at 02:22 AM.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarinana View Post
    How do you tend to act when you like somebody and know that the other person likes you back?
    I feel this question is dependent on sex. As I understand it, a girl is far less likely to be rejected than a male. I think that males only move forward, even the extraverted ones, if the girl sends out signals of interest.

    I am no dating expert though. I can only speak from my own experience. For me, I rarely make the initial moves of interest.

    Hmm, I don't think i'm ILI though!

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    I was so painfully shy before I met a dual. After 9 years together I became confident enough to show initiative and be the first one to make a move.

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