ISTps emanating sadness/melancholy
is it just me, or do SLI's seem to emanate sadness from their being?
As if their natural state is sad/down, dispersed with moments of happiness/giddyness/joy.
Theres something about that which thoroughly attracts me.
It makes me feel compelled to cheer them up/help them.
Last edited by thePirate; 07-18-2009 at 07:53 PM.
<Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" isand not
I get told I either look sad or ready to kick someone's ass all the time. It's not like I try to look that way though. <_<
Nope.Originally Posted by thePirate
To which part of the question?
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
I edited last post for clarity.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
truf.
sadness/gloominess/tension/whatever is prolly more of an LSI outward trait. SLIs are more like... flat and deadpan occasionally.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
The SiTe I know don't really seem sad at all. Even when they are feeling distressed in some manner, you don't really see sadness on their face, at least in general (I'm sure SiTe cry. Right? >.>). With the one SiTe I've been closest to, every once in a while he looks vulnerable, but this is in private, and we are both comfortable and share a lot of things with each other. It doesn't happen often, but he's been particularly stressed out in every part of his life. He has more of a "I'll deal with it" or "Oh well, it is what it is" reaction to most things rather than to mope. Or, SiTe moping is a different kind of moping...
Either way, from the more outgoing ones to lesser, they look mostly unfazed and don't let a lot of emotion surface. It's easy to get surface feelings out if you know how to, but if you expect SiTe to look/act sad to know they are... You'd think they never felt a thing
Very very very very rarely.
^^^ pretty much. My feelings ain't on display for nobody....but if you expect SiTe to look/act sad to know they are... You'd think they never felt a thing
Last edited by Park; 07-19-2009 at 02:58 AM.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
I don't know many female SiTe offline, though, the SiTe I do interact with online tend to be female. But I usually need an offline frame of reference to really compare/contrast and see what's type related, what's gender related, and which traits are a melding of the two. The male SiTe I know either look very focused or kinda spaced or lost. I kinda like it when they are in this "spaced" state because it usually means I can drag them to do whatever I wantI cry more often than that, but I'm also female which might be the key.
from the ISTps I've met, the ISTp-Tes seem more emotionally repressed.. the ISTp-Sis seem more like ass kicker party animals. But I can see how both have an emotionally repressed quality to them
Not really. Fe DS typically manifests through an outwardly gregarious, jokey, "teasing" persona. As if seeking to ignite such a dynamic out of the behavior of others, but in a more focused and refined manner than they could naturally produce themselves.
lol close enough.
Oh no.That sounds so tough to deal w/. One thing I like about ISTps, strange as this may sound, is that they do have the confidence to not overflow their problems onto everyone else and can handle things in daily life. So I guess that could explain why people may not even know about those health issues of yours? That is not to say that you should have to deal w/ all of those things alone of course, but just that I think it's admirable that ISTps have the ability to!
Also, I've noticed ISTps often don't give themselves that much credit and don't boast even when it'd be fine to -- but yet I think it's almost cooler that ISTps tend to not brag. Like discovering your friend happens to be an amazing guitar player and you never even knew, or they have this prestigious award sitting in some cardboard box in the garage and it's like "eh, that old thing. Whatever." Or they happen to be an amazing dancer and yet you've never even seen them dance, etc. I think ENFps can tend to brag to the people we know well pretty often when we're excited and so the ability to not brag is something I respect. Also we can bitch about our problems constantly so it's sort of impressive when someone is able to not bitch.
Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)
Sounds more like NiTe, SiTe's usually seem chill and relaxed.
...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.
INTp
It's hard to imagine someone like Winterpark cry, or my SLI brother in law, its something about them, not in the way of suppressing it as a weakness of course, but just it's way of taking in sentiment does not result in tears?
(D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)
We're talking about a personality type on a personality type forum. I think if an SLI were sad, we would know about it. Second of all, I might as well post the obvious solution. Extroverted Intuition. Is there really any piece of the puzzle we're missing?
Well something about this post
makes me think we're not talking about a person.
It very well could be just one person that Pirate made a generalization from. Or some other very small number of people.
...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.
INTp
Those are just staments without any proof to back them up. Also a fake smile is different from a real one, for example it uses different facial muscles.
...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.
INTp
Really? hmm I guess maybe sometimes it's obvious but I'd like to think no one is able to tell. Oh and I cry a lot. A lot. Just not in front of anyone.
Yes, all of it.(for you, anyway)
Edit:Yeah, Im generalizing. This obviously isnt true for all SLI's, but there are certain ones, where the emotion just jumps out at me. It might be a slight inflection in the voice tone, or a look, or the way that person holds themselves. Its not something thats neccessarily visible, but logically combined with my awareness of the person. Like it wouldnt make sense for them to do X if they weren't Z, despite looking fine.
I guess you could say a person of any type can do the same, but when an SLI does it, it just hits me harder. Maybe its because Im aware they're keeping it to themselves.
On one side, I admire that ability. I see it as strong and noble, but it also fills me with alot of sadness. I start wondering who you guys have to turn to, who helps you deal with it? I dont even know if you guys want that, maybe youre okay with it, it just feels like it would be terribly lonely.
I know a handful of SLI's, and it seems like even their best friends don't really know who they are. I wouldnt be surprised if for some SLI's here, we at the16types know you better than those in the "real world"..
Thats just alien to me!
....I dont know, I love you guys.
Last edited by thePirate; 07-19-2009 at 07:52 PM.
<Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is
Pirate, I liked your post. Dunno why but I liked it. As far as it being lonely to not have anyone to turn to, I don't feel like that at all. I don't think anyone understands when I tell them I want to deal with things on my own, they can't seem to comprehend that. I can't comprehend having to rely on other people. I hate putting my problems onto other people. I should be able to take care of myself and my problems. Just like people can't understand that, it's really hard for me to understand people who go to others with their problems. And no one really knows anthing about me and I prefer it that way and it's not lonely in the slightest. You all know more about me than anyone in real life.
That's not what it says there: "Next time you are feeling down, try putting on a smile..."
Doctors are very often wrong. Also they are also very often overconfident in their abilities. For example on average medical doctors assume they can diagnose pneumonia with 90% accuracy, when in reality they are only 50% correct when diagnosing pneumonia.The author has a PhD in health behaviour, and "About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by [their] Medical Review Board". Even if that isn't convincing enough, most of the points are pretty obvious in themselves.
When there's points that are obviously BS. The rest of it doesn't seem reliable at all. Especially without any proof. Such as:
"The muscles we use to smile lift the face, making a person appear younger"
In reality the more you smile, the more wrinkles you get, thus making you seem older. Also the wrinkles are more pronounced after smiling.
"When you smile, there is a measurable reduction in your blood pressure. Give it a try if you have a blood pressure monitor at home. Sit for a few minutes, take a reading. Then smile for a minute and take another reading while still smiling. Do you notice a difference?"
You just have to wait longer and do nothing to make your blood pressure go lower. Obviously in this example the blood pressure goes lower, because you are waiting a longer time to measure the blood pressure. Also high blood pressure is just a sympton, smiling doesn't cure the real problem.
"Smiling Releases Endorphins, Natural Pain Killers and Serotonin
Studies have shown that smiling releases endorphins, natural pain killers, and serotonin. Together these three make us feel good. Smiling is a natural drug."
Unnaturally high levels of endorphin and serotonin won't make you healthier.
...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.
INTp
First one, source: Warren Buffett Way, Robert Hagstrom, page 184.
Second one is observable.
Third you can test yourself.
And of fourth you can find explanations what they cause down to a physical level. Opposed to something vague like:"when you smile, immune function improves possibly because you are more relaxed." There's lot of people who smile a lot, and don't seem relaxed at all.
...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.
INTp
As if I'm even gonna bother reading an article about why I should smile...
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Sad?
Not really. More like neutral.
This could possibly be related, but do you think NeFi are similar? With my experience, you're not going to know I'm really upset or sad unless you know the signs. I wouldn't be surprised if this is a personal thing, but I feel like it's better to show a happy face and not burden people with my feelings, especially if I'm not close with them. The more I feel comfortable with you, the less I'll put up a resistance of finding out I'm feeling negative emotions. And even then, I'd prefer to have more of a "let's pig out on ice cream and watch a movie" or "knock back a wine beers or glasses of wine out back" rather than outright complain. I complain here more than anywhere lol
I dunno, I always feel better if I smile.
But not if I make myself fake smile. Funny how that works. Painfully subtle shades of Fe?
This is me. Totally like this. I don't want to burden people with my negativity. It'll be gone soon enough on its own.
Interesting.
I think Fe egos are directly invested in the emotional radio waves around them, and in my case at least, making other people sad feeds back into me.
I will gripe to people though, because I need the release *somehow*, else things feed back relentlessly (good when I'm happy though!)
I love this. It's like, Constructivist/Emotivist in action.
This.
I *just* got through sending a PM talking about how I'm learning in my sociology class that humans across the world (and from time immemorial) need to share the emotions of significant experiences. I had to learn that, because while I can express myself fairly well using words, it's only on a certain level. I can talk about traumatic things because I have confidence in my usage of language, but I'm not allowing myself to feel the emotions involved during the telling, so it doesn't seem to be the same kind of thing that happens for most other people. I have to go off by myself to process that, and even then it's ... well, for lack of a better word, inefficient. Trying to deal with negative emotions with others around is not only adding frustration (yay! more negative emotions! we're going backwards now!) but very often impossible (OK, someone's died, and I can cry - look, others around me are crying. Oh, wait, no, I can't cry. Why? I DON'T KNOW. I just can't.).
I even tried to "confront" myself and use the telling of one of these "stories" of my past as my final project in the sociology class, but once I had it all typed out, I realized I had turned it into an ego game. "Oooh, doesn't this make me more interesting?" I had felt like giving a copy of it to one of my fellow students, and I had thought about posting it here, and then after that initial feeling, I was disgusted with myself. I turned it in for the grade because I'd done the work. Now it's time to go back to just being my fucking self without focusing on that one small piece of my history.
I have a quote lying around somewhere, but not having it at hand I'll have to paraphrase it and leave in unattributed, but approximately:
"We don't get credit in life for what we go through. We get credit for what we get over."
SLI
[QUOTE=iAnnAu;542360]This.
Oh, wait, no, I can't cry. Why? I DON'T KNOW. I just can't.).
QUOTE]
I can relate to what you are saying. I felt guilty for not crying at Dad's funeral, but he had lung cancer and sorrow was past by the time of the funeral. I really don't get crying at a funeral anyway, unless a youngster had died. I sure don't want people crying when I pass.
It's not that I don't miss him and think of him often, but he was a great guy and I'd rather just remember that.
ISTp
SLI
Enneagram 5 with a side of wings.
Yeah, it's not in my nature to express (and expose) my deep feelings externally, especially not in front of other people. Which, of course, does not mean I'm incapable of experiencing or being affected by them.
Last edited by Park; 07-23-2009 at 03:56 AM.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
The SiTe I've been focusing on lately said something along the lines of "I have to warn you, people close to me get hurt." I'm not sure exactly how to take it, and if it's a type related concern (possibly), maybe what he fears won't really bother me as much? I was hoping that it wasn't an effort to keep me away... He seems like he needs a personal cheerleader at the moment.
Hi Sky,
Sounds like he needs to suffer a bit more. He's still not appriciating his opportunity. I think you will have to let him know you don't need this drama. Tell him that he knows where to find you if he's interested in a relationship. Be matter-of-fact about it, I expect that he needs to decide for himself. SLIs can't be pushed or coaxed. Walk away from this one and know that if he doesn't follow-up, it wasn't going to happen. Sometimes losing something makes you realize what you've lost.
Last edited by Cyrano; 07-25-2009 at 06:26 PM.
ISTp
SLI
Enneagram 5 with a side of wings.
This is what annoys me. Once we decide to move on, generally, we've moved on. We try our best to kill those thoughts and find something that isn't going to subtly hurt us.
I met a german ISTp girl on tour a few days ago. We kind of just locked eyes with one another and hung out from then on. I wouldn't say she was sad, more just hardcore. She told me she doesn't want a boyfriend its not for her. She said she goes to tits out tuesday at the local nightclub and i said "ever get up on stage?" and she said 5 times lol. When she got into her bikini i was like what the fuck.. so hot. She told me her temporary boyfriend is ugly and she turns off the lights. I noticed she had some cut marks on her wrists. I reached out and touched them and she pulled away and said "when i was younger" For some reason all of this didn't scare me it made me more interested lol. So i wouldn't say she was sad, more she didn't give a shit / had latent anger. Was a shame she went back to germany that night haha.
ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin
Yeah, that's the issue. Once I move on, no guarantees. It's either I'm patient and waiting, or nothing. It's too hard, because when I move on and meet other people, I want to devote time to them, and if this one great person who I knew was just needing a little extra effort came through... It'd really suck. Right now he's going through a lot and I think I need to be patient, but it's really trying. But, it makes me wonder if there will be that less stress and problems when in the relationship.
Yeah that sounds about right. The SLI in my life is also going through a lot... and I need to be patient. Blah, I've been really patient. The lack of action is very very frustrating. The words can only keep me for so long before I can't do it anymore. All of it seems so unnecessary.
But I don't push people. I can encourage people, try to share my enthusiasm. Give them all the time in the world. But eventually you have to cut your losses, even if you can see that they want to give back, if they're not there's no point fighting it. Just sadly step back and apply that psychological distance. =/
Meatburger you always meet these superbadasss hardcore istp chicks, lol. Kinda makes me wonder about myself cuz I'm not like that at all really. I'm getting soft in my old age apparently :/I met a german ISTp girl on tour a few days ago. We kind of just locked eyes with one another and hung out from then on. I wouldn't say she was sad, more just hardcore. She told me she doesn't want a boyfriend its not for her. She said she goes to tits out tuesday at the local nightclub and i said "ever get up on stage?" and she said 5 times lol. When she got into her bikini i was like what the fuck.. so hot. She told me her temporary boyfriend is ugly and she turns off the lights. I noticed she had some cut marks on her wrists. I reached out and touched them and she pulled away and said "when i was younger" For some reason all of this didn't scare me it made me more interested lol. So i wouldn't say she was sad, more she didn't give a shit / had latent anger. Was a shame she went back to germany that night haha.
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