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Thread: Type me round one

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    Erk's Avatar
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    Default Type me round one

    So I thought I would throw in the round one since it seems that everyone has more than one spin on the merry-go-round, but really it is because I have no clue where I am going with this. I really do not want to take this down sappy lane, and I know no matter what I write I will not believe a lick of it is accurate come tomorrow. I guess my problem is that I am never really sure exactly how a scenario played out down to the details, such as what I was thinking exactly or how I felt, or no I think maybe it just came to me. Maybe, since I ponder my past decisions and loop them over and over in order to feel that my decision was a valid one that my feelings and thoughts change so much that all my new thoughts, feelings, and such take the place of the old ones.

    It just feels like I am constantly changing, and how I am in any one moment is all I can focus on that I miss who I really am. I am so wrapped up in myself that I am not able to see what is really going on. On that same note though I have this way of looking at things that I see the whole and cannot possibly handle the parts because they either seem so pointless or I cannot buy into the koolaide and therfore my effort cannot come from the heart and I will not succeed. Sometimes I feel like I am too smart for my own good, the next I think maybe I am just crazy, and other time I feel like I am on top of everything. Like I got my hands of everything and a grasp on nothing.

    I am not even sure this captures what I want to say properly. I sit and wonder sometimes why I cannot seem to communicate my message when I understand it so perfectly when no one else seems to have any problem. Why can I not just go to work and play the game and make a buck? Why does it always feel like I am five steps ahead of any process making my next move pointless. All these stupid rules and hoops. It is like I know I am going to go here and get a bullshit response, then I will have to talk to someone else who will not step up, then go here, and so on and so on. But then I have to tell myself that it is all part of the game, everyone has to play their role, and you are either in or out.

    All this vacillating between the here and now world and the world that exists but no one sees makes me wonder if I have been given some gift, the gift of perspective, if only I could do something with it. I hate the mundane existance of going to a silly job everyday, the meaninglessness of it. Everything seems so pointless anymore, I do not know. Life feels like one big loop that we are doomed to repeat, and I just want to know what the point of doing something. Nothing feels grand enough. Feels like there is something wrong with me, maybe there is, maybe if there is something to this whole theory then it might just be a problem with wrong kind of exposure to certain functions.

    I have been feeling really down in the dumps lately. Work has been lame, life has been lame, I think I just need something to happen. I hate not having anything to do. I want to laugh with friends, love with a lover, and just enjoy life. Thinking about that makes me think that maybe I have just been around the wrong people all my life and if I had some more interquadra interactions that I would be in much higher spirits.

    I hoped to lay out a little of my thought process that I have been going through lately; figured I would try a different approach to a type me thread instead of rambling off the obvious crap that means mostly nothing. Anyways whatever, here it is.

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    Creepy-male

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    Erk.

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    Park's Avatar
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    xNFp?
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Erk View Post
    I have been feeling really down in the dumps lately. Work has been lame, life has been lame, I think I just need something to happen. I hate not having anything to do. I want to laugh with friends, love with a lover, and just enjoy life. Thinking about that makes me think that maybe I have just been around the wrong people all my life and if I had some more interquadra interactions that I would be in much higher spirits.
    Tell me more about this.
    The saddest ESFj

    ...

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    Enjoy life means to have a good time. Honestly I am not sure if I am moody or not. I can not recall whether or not my mood flucuated so much. All I can really do is say how I feel right now.

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    I think another part of my problem is that I do not seem to enjoy anything beyond hanging out and doing meaningless things. I wonder all the time how people can have a job and love what they do. Where does that passion come from? To me it always seems like some means to an end. It is like I am at some turning point in my life right now, a room of doors, and I am waiting for one to finally open, but I need the key. What the hell is the key.

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    If it helps I may be feeling whatever but I try not to show it. Usually a little bit will seep out and I will deny it, but I am pretty good at hiding it. Like I said, I do not think I would do that if I was around the right kind of people who would simply judge me or give me their simple solutions that I am already to far beyond.

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    A new job would be great, too bad the economy sucks right now. Also does not help that I do not yet have a degree; kind of limits things. No car either. I currently work to try to pay down my current student loan debt, and it is the worst reason ever to work. I want to buy a cheap car, but no one wants to help with that, all have this fixed view of buying something used that is so new that it is a complete waste not to buy new or just buy new. I do not feel like taking out any more debt like that right now. I just wish someone would sit down with all the numbers and a plan all worked out because I have no clue what to do at all. I need that positive energy from someone else to feed off of. Also I am twenty-four if anyone was wondering that.

    Just thought of it, I know why I do not like to be bothered with simple tasks much anymore. I am too quick to see the greater picture surrounding the happenings and I am ready to move forward to something more important or I am just ready to cut the bull crap and do this job. If everyone would just do as I say and now question me things would go smoothly.

    And to clarify, if I knew what I was doing I would not want anyone else to give me advice unless it was some useful information. Also, I do not think that I am merry.
    Last edited by Erk; 07-17-2009 at 09:14 PM.

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    What, huh, accuracy does matter. How do you even know where I got the description from? I have read many, many, different interpretations of them. Actually been a troll for a very long time. I have read what you have written there and it does not make a whole lot of sense to me. Is that stuff of translation? Re-reading it I do remember placing myself as merry under that deffinition too.

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    Now that I re-read what you have read, I always say that things seem so clear to me in relation to everyone Else's befuddlement.

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    I have read all the trypes and I do not mean to say that anything is poor quality. It is just that the first part of it is hard to understand. But I've been at this for as may years as this has been at it at a reasonanble rate.

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    i'm gonna wait til round 2.
    asd

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    Quote Originally Posted by ephemeros View Post
    @tuturututu: I think his gift of perspective is connected to a clarity of mind, rather than intuition, don't you think? I perceive his whole problem (pointless life) is that, combined with irrationality - which is actually a little paradox. I (ILE) even can identify with the description, except some things (eg: what is "enjoying life" that some people told me about?).
    Hm.. could be..since I do not intend to read the thing again I'll just have to force myself to believe you or everwhat. It's just, the thing strucked me as when you're walking in hot summer morning (6:30 AM approximately) through the park, you're exhausted, various silly thoughts are ripping your brain off and then all of a sudden your eyes are drawn upon her, half-eaten, rotten watermelon lying down there in a shadowy bottom of the wood. That sucks man.
    Last edited by Trevor; 07-19-2009 at 10:51 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ephemeros View Post
    What I still disagree is that Ne Rationality, especially that I could see Ni ego now.
    Just deleted my analysis. Happy now? I'll do anything to avoid reading the first post again.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tuturututu View Post
    Hm.. could be..since I do not intend to read the thing again I'll just have to force myself to believe you or everwhat. It's just, the thing strucked me as when you're walking in hot summer morning (6:30 AM approximately) through the park, you're exhausted, various silly thoughts are ripping your brain off and then all of a sudden your eyes are drawn upon her, half-eaten, rotten watermelon lying down there in a shadowy bottom of the wood. That sucks man.
    Where did this come from, and why are you so avoidant of reading my post? And ephemeros I know that you think that the wikisocion merry/serious is poor quality. I am sorry I am not trying to be difficult, I just want to try and get the information presented to be as clear as possible.

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    TUTURUTUTU, YOU SON OF A... SWINE FLU!!!
    Last edited by Park; 07-20-2009 at 04:05 AM.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Is there a reason you are linking to these wikisocion articles?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Erk View Post
    Is there a reason you are linking to these wikisocion articles?
    Wikisocion is the bible for socionics.
    LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP



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    Yeah I know all the basics, and then some. Believe me, I have read through all of just about any socionics website, except for some of the russian crap. My biggest issue is that I cannot seem to find any consensus among any of the information. The latest is this site. Understanding the Eight Jungian Cognitive Processes / Eight Functions Attitudes I realize it is MBTI, but I only care about the function descriptions anyways. I find that these are some of the most well written and clear deffinitions out of all of them. More than half the stuff on the socionics pages is almost like greek to me. Like I have said, information should be clear enough to only have, or at the very least strongly favor one particular interpretation. I also do not think I am being interesting enough for some people on here since this seems to be a one on one exchange.
    Last edited by Erk; 07-21-2009 at 04:04 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    TUTURUTUTU, YOU SON OF A... SWINE FLU!!!
    Using big words, ha?

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    i think i see Se seeking, Ni ego.
    INTp
    sx/sp

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    Maybe it is not me changing, but my understanding that is changing due to a lack of having a clear platform to base my thoughts on, and this is causing me the distress. Personally what I was hoping for in this thread was more of a back and forth discussion of what was going on behind all the information that I presented.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tuturututu View Post
    Using big words, ha?
    Got scared, ha?
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Erk, there is something about you wrote that I can identify with. I'd be more willing to talk about the post than to know what type you are. I'm not one to get into typing other people.

    I don't see what you are saying as being "down," you're being true to yourself. You're just not satisfied with how things are. A problem that is typical with this type of thought process is that you might slowly stop doing things that are important because they don't have meaning to you... The pointless mentality can lead to procrastination of daily affairs. I'm just throwing my 2 cents.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    Got scared, ha?
    did not

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    Yes I realize this Sereno. Also I was usign the word down to try to explain how I was feeling compared to how I should normally feel. You ever get the feeling you were meant to do something other than what everyone else is doing? Why are we all in a hurry to graduate college and get a job making some other schmuck millions? I feel like I should be doing something productive, but with other people whos' company I enjoy.
    Last edited by Erk; 07-23-2009 at 03:01 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Erk View Post
    Yes I realize this Sereno. Also I was usign the word down to try to explain how I was feeling compared to how I should normally feel. You ever get the feeling you were meant to do something other than what everyone else is doing? Why are we all in a hurry to graduate college and get a job making some other schmuck millions? I feel like I should be doing something productive, but with other people whos' company I enjoy.
    Yeah, I've had that feeling too. I just try to enjoy each day as it comes, and not focus on the pressure of being expected to achieve certain things in the future. For me it's better to be open to a future that might not be what is expected, and be ok with that. The things you do now are what pave the way for your future. You step into it from your daily habits and short term achievements. Ok, no more philosophy talk .

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    Well philosophy talk can bea good quadra indicator, or at least valued functions.

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