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Thread: How to attract ISTps and ESTjs

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    Default How to attract ISTps and ESTjs

    I would like to know from the delta STs here the types of things that you find attractive in a person (be it physical or mental). Reason I ask is because I would like to work on projecting/developing these traits and see how that goes. I think this is the most straightforward of going about it, by just asking... For one, I've noticed that STs tend to be very responsive to physical traits, like being in good shape. Would this be at the top of the list? I just want to know the things that STs in general might find "hot" in a person. I don't want this to be a thread about "what you like in a type" or something like that, I just would like to know, outside of socionics, what it is that you find attractive in a person. I would like to learn the types of things that should be projected. Also if you can, please mention those things that just turn you off, as stupid or offensive as you think it might be.

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    Will do

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    Looks aren't everything to me... They rarely even mean much at all unless i'm completely repulsed by you. Do I notice a nice body? Of course but that's about as far as that goes so if you're asking physically what delta st's like, I can't say. All of my romantic interests have come in different colors and shapes

    I can never answer this question fully because it's such an individual thing. But what really attracts me on a personality level is simply someone who is kind and gentle and caring and thoughtful.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    Looks aren't everything to me... They rarely even mean much at all unless i'm completely repulsed by you. Do I notice a nice body? Of course but that's about as far as that goes so if you're asking physically what delta st's like, I can't say. All of my romantic interests have come in different colors and shapes

    I can never answer this question fully because it's such an individual thing. But what really attracts me on a personality level is simply someone who is kind and gentle and caring and thoughtful.
    This sounds very safe lol. You sure there's nothing that is just plain hot? Or just something that makes a person stand out and make you want to "get closer"?

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    Well to me those characteristics make someone hot. Can I appreciate a six pack a raspy voice and 6ft of all man? Of course... But I dunno, I'm over being superficial like that. I said it once and I'll say it again, it's all about the vibe.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    Well to me those characteristics make someone hot. Can I appreciate a six pack a raspy voice and 6ft of all man? Of course... But I dunno, I'm over being superficial like that. I said it once and I'll say it again, it's all about the vibe.
    The type of vibe is what I want to find out. Maybe it's unique for everybody. I wonder if there are some general themes for delta STs.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sereno View Post
    This sounds very safe lol. You sure there's nothing that is just plain hot? Or just something that makes a person stand out and make you want to "get closer"?
    Ah, so you are willing to hear some in depth commentary, that's good.


    WARNING: SOME OF MY POSTS IN THIS THREAD MAY BE "VERY BLUNT"
    In this post, I'm talking about purely physical things.
    In reality, physical things are not the only thing that matter...
    A real relationship is much, much, more than looks.
    But since you asked....




    There was a very good description of weight and physical appearance for LSEs somewhere, one of the profiles, somewhere in the articles section. Maybe I'll look for it, or you can find it. (Some other good articles might be things related to the erotic natures, or the LSE male/female portrayals. I know you're not looking for socionics based things, but they do offer insight as to why, psychologically, some things are appealing and some things are not).

    Unless you really ask for some objective, "all LSEs" type of remark, I'm going to comment from here on in terms of my personal preferences. I know my preferences very well and will talk your ear off about them if you prompt me to do so.

    I will start with what that profile said about weight and physical appearance, and agree with what I remember: weight is a factor. It simply is (granted, I'm a guy... I think women are less forgiving about this, but, like I said, I'm not modifying my comments). Weight is a factor because it's related to "tidiness" as that profile said, which means, if someone is really obese, they're being very inefficient and gluttonous in their eating. That's just not appealing. It isn't. I'm not averse to being friends with someone who's fat, but in terms of a relationship, especially something intimate, I want a certain level of physical attraction.

    I have such strong preferences that it is ultimately unappealing for me to pretend like my preferences are insiginificant (it might seem obvious, but think about what I said). I just can't pretend like something doesn't matter to me that does.

    Now, the important question of what my weight preferences are...
    I don't like obese people. Obese meaning obviously overweight. Since I'm not actually sure what that translates into, I'll use pictures.




    See, this is a good picture. This is kind of a borderline. Initially, she's not appealing to me, she's more chunky than I'd prefer. But, I wouldn't be totally averse to her. She seems to be fairly toned and might be trying to work out or lose weight, which I respect. As is, I might actually go out with her and be attracted to her. She's definitely not the kind of girl I generally would 'look at', but, I can respect her. And that's really what a lot of someone's physical appearance has to do with - respect. I get a sense from this picture that she respects herself and cares about herself and her health (that may not be true, but I'm talking about superficial understandings here).


    Hmm... most of the women there I'd never really consider. They might respect themselves, but I don't really see them caring enough about things, to my preferences. It just makes me think of sloppiness and gluttony in a very unflattering way. I respect them because they're dressed up, and that's very nice -- I have no feeling to berate them or shout FATTY at them. But there's just physically nothing there that attracts me, and I don't think I could get physically involved with someone like that.

    On the other hand, I don't actually like girls that are toooo skinny. It grosses me out.

    I would consider something with her because she seems generally in shape, and I think she has a fairly pretty face (faces are big for me, faces and eyes especially). But I'd have absolutely no problem if she put on some weight. If she's just naturally skinny, that's ok, too - just like if someone is naturally a bit heavyset. I'd actually prefer it if she gained a bit of weight.


    Eh, the 'fashion runway model' type never really got to me. They seem way too skinny, and I don't see the appeal. I wouldn't 'not date her' because of her physical features (which probably would be the case for someone very obese). But it's not at all appealing, honestly. The legs on those models seem way too thin... almost malnourished :/


    So, what do I really like...?
    To tell you the truth, I like the looks of just about every EII on the forum, that I've seen.
    Granted, most people on the forum are fairly attractive, too. But I can't think of an EII that I've seen on the forum who was physically unappealing.





    For a general picture... All of those are fine, really. They're all acceptable, even attractive. They're feminine enough, not too overweight. The "women's ideal" looks most appealing, from this picture. (although, maybe it's just the shape of her body or the pose, but, the national average woman looks better than the men's ideal woman). If you really want a picture of OMG PERFECT BODY, I can find some of those, but, not sure if that's necessary.


    Last edited by UDP; 07-16-2009 at 06:29 AM.

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    (continuing from the previous post, about looks... and then a little bit about first impressions/appearances)

    So what's it really come down to?

    (back to some general commentary)
    A sense of respect and consideration and not too much laziness or lack of health awareness/concern.

    On top of that, I would venture that LSEs, or even delta STs, have very particular preferences that are idiosyncratic. I have my own particular facial preferences, which are very significant to me - certain things about the faces and eyebrows, I just find them more appealing that others. That's very much fine tuning, but, I wouldn't be surprised if it was something like that for most STs.

    There are some things about EIIs faces that I don't find so much anywhere else... EIIs tend to have the most beautiful eyes to me. They can seem very big and very soft, and seem to have a twinge of moral or ethical cocern to them, which is very appealing. Not all of them, but I do like that about some of them. EIIs tend to be somewhat thinner or smaller in general, and I find that fairly appealing. They seem feminine and dainty, which is nice.

    Things that very much come to mind when I physically assess a girl -- like what do I 'discern' from someone (albeit superficially, but the impression is significant), from far away....

    • How classy is she, really? Trashy girls or obnoxious girls are not appealing to me at all. I don't really like slutty girls, even if they can be fun to look at. Even then, there has to be some level of refinement or style or concern. Blatant flaunting of things is unappealing. Modesty is always fine, and so is refinement or good taste, even if it's simplistic. I've never seen an EII, honestly, that I thought was very unappealing in this category. I've seen some EIIs that could use a little more work/attention, and I've also seem some IEEs who kind of let themselves go in terms of weight, but generally, I've been satisfied with delta NFs.
      (also, understated beauty is extremely appealing to me. Trying too hard to show me you're beautiful or hot doesn't float my boat that much. But I particularly like someone who is reserve about their beauty or physical features, it's appealing to encourage it out of them. I also respond well to privacy and 'for your eyes only' kind of things.)
    • Does she seem like she's ethically 'with it'? This is very important to me. How does she carry herself? How does she treat other people? There has to be a certain sense that she has the necessary values - which can be seen in things like how she dresses, how she moves, how she handles things (does she smoke, if so, why/how so; does she drink? a little, a lot?; is she a party girl, does she have sex with lots of guys, is she very flirty? Is she interested in a relationship? What is she doing with her life?). Assuredly, not all delta STs want a girl to seek a relationship with the ST. So their preferences will vary dependently. A lot of this, to me, comes off in things she physically 'does'. Maybe that's just because I'm more a physical person, but I can tell by how people move and their body posturings, and how they use their voice/the sound it makes, in relation to what stresses them out, what brings about concern... how emotional they are, etc.
    • Does she seem intelligent? I've never really been 'attracted to' dumb girls, or dumb-seeming girls. I don't really like "intelligence" here as a word, but that seems to be the cliche that people refer to. What really gets me is this - how much does she care, and what does she care about? Does she care about accuracy? That's important. (Is she more concerned with making people happy and getting people emotionally aroused? That's something I don't like as much, I don't trust that. Etc). So while it's not so much about intelligence or education, it's about how concerned she is about what she does know. Various degrees or rankings don't mean that much to me, but the standard she has for what information she does have available, that's something I am very, very, very aware of. Not enough of that and I could not be with the person - no negotiations.

    Thos are some general things. I can get more specific, too, but I think I've written plenty for now, and maybe I'll wait for some feedback. I could write much, much more, however
    Last edited by UDP; 07-16-2009 at 06:35 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post

    See, this is a good picture. This is kind of a borderline. Initially, she's not appealing to me, she's more chunky than I'd prefer. But, I wouldn't be totally averse to her. She seems to be fairly toned and might be trying to work out or lose weight, which I respect. As is, I might actually go out with her and be attracted to her. She's definitely not the kind of girl I generally would 'look at', but, I can respect her. And that's really what a lot of someone's physical appearance has to do with - respect. I get a sense from this picture that she respects herself and cares about herself and her health (that may not be true, but I'm talking about superficial understandings here).
    You know that that's a photoshopped picture of Britney Spears, right?

    Fat Girl Pictures - Strange Fat Girl Pics

    lol
    maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
    maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
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    Oh my god...you sure pit a lot of thought into this. I could never nail it down and be that specific. I can find something attractive in anyone and not going to write them off if they don't fit a certain criteria. That seems pretty narrow minded. Basically I have no type.

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    @Ryu: That's a lot of info . Thing is you focused a lot on what you find attractive in a girl. Hmmm, since I'm a guy, that doesn't help my cause that much. The second post is more helpful. I'm trying to find some kind of common theme in what STs find particularly attractive in someone.

    @jessica: I understand. Thing is that of course there are some things in general that girls like in a guy. I want to see if there are things that are more "delta ST specific." I bet that it goes beyond something gender related, which is why I asked if anyone could comment. I didn't want it to be socionics related, but considering how caregivers are supposed to be attracted to infantile sexuality, maybe that's one way to go about it in this thread. I could ask, what kind of "infantile" behavior is attractive to delta STs? The problem with this question is that it would depend on experience with infantiles. Is playful affection hot? haha.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Allie View Post
    You know that that's a photoshopped picture of Britney Spears, right?

    Fat Girl Pictures - Strange Fat Girl Pics

    lol
    I figured it was something like that, but I didn't know it was her. IT looked kind of bizarre, but it suited my purposes somewhat.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sereno View Post
    @Ryu: That's a lot of info . Thing is you focused a lot on what you find attractive in a girl. Hmmm, since I'm a guy, that doesn't help my cause that much. The second post is more helpful. I'm trying to find some kind of common theme in what STs find particularly attractive in someone.
    Yeah, I figured as much.
    I think for yourself, being a dude INFj, just keep yourself in decent shape or make effort to do so. That helps, but I wouldn't worry about it too much. I really don't know, you'd have to ask a female LSE.

    A lot of what I said about the appearance of someone's character is very applicable, imo. It should also be taken into consideration what kind of ethical nature you want to present -- keep in mind who you are trying to attract.

    If you want the marrying type, display ethical qualities that would seem apparent to someone like that. Be serious in dating, present yourself as a 'good future husband', etc. If you're wanting a relationship that's more just to be with somebody but not necessarily get married, then be more that way. You probably do this already, but sometimes EIIs might forget what certain things mean or imply.

    Even when I was less serious relationally, I was particularly draw to slightly reserved girls, and I was always very interested into girls that were ethically motivated in some way, either in terms of causes, or politics, or spirituality - I liked girls who cared about something. What really solidifies my attraction, in the past but also now, is how in-line I feel with someone's 'beliefs/values', or "Fi" if you will. The stronger I feel in line with them, the more I want to support them, and/or be around them. So I suspect, really, that for LSEs, a large part of subconscious attraction has to do with that, how we 'feel' about us being ethically aligned, how much we like or trust your ethics. How much can we put stock in them. This doesn't mean you have to be a saint, no, but how strong are some of your beliefs, and your sense of right and wrong, particularly in the area of relationships.

    Sort of, how much do we admire your , in a way.

    That's a very much deeper psychological aspect of things, and a few of the LSEs I know have developed relationships along those lines.

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    If you're truly Fi INFj, then acting naturally is the best way to go to attract delta STs. Doing anything else will not be what delta STs are looking for. The thing about Fi INFjs that I usually like is that they exude this aura of happy Fi, always understanding when I'm joking and when I'm not, etc. It's like the whole room gets brighter when an Fi IXFj comes in.

    Don't listen to UDP for two reasons. 1.He's LII. 2.He doesn't understand what he's talking about, especially when it comes to things like this. In order to be attracted to someone they have to be physically attractive. Period. What you, in particular might find physically attractive is independent of everyone else. The same applies for everyone. What also applies is that you will not be sought out by people who do not find you attractive that way. To think otherwise is to just be absolutely deluded. Everyone isn't the soul of blindness, and everyone will care what you look like.

    This aside, you don't have to be super-attractive, or even out of the ordinary, so long as the observer finds you attractive. "Outer beauty" is something that always matters and isn't type-related in the slightest, though you already Vi as your type (whatever that may be), so don't worry about it, you'll look right.

    What I particularly find attractive in delta NFs:
    -Usually nice/reasonable.
    -Silly/joking.
    -Looking for someone to take care of them (though subtly).
    -Understanding.
    -Caring.
    -Prudent.
    -Practical (with help).
    -They laugh at my jokes and almost always understand the difference between when I'm joking and when I'm not.
    -"Deep", but not in that stupid Fe way. Jung's description is "Still water runs deep." Like a collected poise and calm.
    -Artistic.
    -Listening.
    -Elegant.
    -Aura of Fi.
    -Spark of Ne.

    There are lots of things to say and lots of ways to say them, but you should understand if you're really Fi INFj. The most important thing is to act as naturally as possible, or, in your case I hope, as much like a delta NF as possible. You'll find you mesh with the right people the right way, regardless of type.

    PS- That Coldplay song always makes me feel like there's a delta NF around. Kinda gay, but whatevs.
    Wond'ring aloud, How we feel today. Last night sipped the sunset, My hand in her hair. We are our own saviours, As we start both our hearts, Beating life Into each other. ~Ian Anderson

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom View Post
    If you're truly Fi INFj, then acting naturally is the best way to go to attract delta STs. Doing anything else will not be what delta STs are looking for. The thing about Fi INFjs that I usually like is that they exude this aura of happy Fi, always understanding when I'm joking and when I'm not, etc. It's like the whole room gets brighter when an Fi IXFj comes in.

    In order to be attracted to someone they have to be physically attractive. Period. What you, in particular might find physically attractive is independent of everyone else. The same applies for everyone. What also applies is that you will not be sought out by people who do not find you attractive that way. To think otherwise is to just be absolutely deluded. Everyone isn't the soul of blindness, and everyone will care what you look like.

    This aside, you don't have to be super-attractive, or even out of the ordinary, so long as the observer finds you attractive. "Outer beauty" is something that always matters and isn't type-related in the slightest, though you already Vi as your type (whatever that may be), so don't worry about it, you'll look right.

    There are lots of things to say and lots of ways to say them, but you should understand if you're really Fi INFj. The most important thing is to act as naturally as possible, or, in your case I hope, as much like a delta NF as possible. You'll find you mesh with the right people the right way, regardless of type.
    Hey Tom! I think this is the first time I've seen you post in the Delta forum, you should come around more often I have to agree for the most part of what I snipped from your post. Over all, there's no need to "mold" your behavior to emphasize certain aspects of yourself, because the people who matter will be attracted to you being you. There are some obviously detrimental behaviors that lower your chances over all, like not taking care of yourself and being a kill joy whenever you get the chance, but other than that, you shouldn't need all this advice.

    But as for your list Tom, it seems kinda... ambiguous? I feel like if you take any direction references to an IE, you could apply all those things to types who are not NeFi or FiNe. I'm curious because there seems to be few TeSi around, regardless of who thinks whomever's type is whatever, and would like more input if possible

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    Oh my god...you sure pit a lot of thought into this. I could never nail it down and be that specific. I can find something attractive in anyone and not going to write them off if they don't fit a certain criteria. That seems pretty narrow minded. Basically I have no type.

    0_o i was thinking the exact same thing, jessica. i have dated/considered dating, some dudes who are definitely conventionally "not hot." this is regardless of me being able to say, "ooh, that guy is hot!" you can be hot and have a totally repulsive personality. the whole package is really what matters.
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    Turn ons: open-minded, spontaneous, inventive, original, enthusiastic, fun, quirky, adventurous, pleasure-seeking, imaginative, kind, benevolent, fair, sensitive, honest, discreet, good sense of humor...

    Turn offs: pretentious, obnoxious, high-strung, narcistic, materialistic, diplomatic, manipulative, deceitful, controlling, bossy, inconsiderate, imposing, clingy, ignorant, religious...


    cleanliness, naturalness, nice curves, big boobs
    bad hygiene, smoking, overly concerned about looks, excessive overweight
    Last edited by Park; 07-16-2009 at 07:35 PM.
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    being diplomatic is a turnoff?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    being diplomatic is a turnoff?
    For me, yes. In the sense of handling situations "politically", not being true to oneself, not standing your ground, being too compromising and tactful etc.

    I can see though how that might not be the only meaning of "being diplomatic" and how I could appreciate and value certain things that the concept implies/refers to.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Oh, ok. I see what you mean.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom View Post
    If you're truly Fi INFj, then acting naturally is the best way to go to attract delta STs. Doing anything else will not be what delta STs are looking for. The thing about Fi INFjs that I usually like is that they exude this aura of happy Fi, always understanding when I'm joking and when I'm not, etc. It's like the whole room gets brighter when an Fi IXFj comes in.

    Don't listen to UDP for two reasons. 1.He's LII. 2.He doesn't understand what he's talking about, especially when it comes to things like this. In order to be attracted to someone they have to be physically attractive. Period. What you, in particular might find physically attractive is independent of everyone else. The same applies for everyone. What also applies is that you will not be sought out by people who do not find you attractive that way. To think otherwise is to just be absolutely deluded. Everyone isn't the soul of blindness, and everyone will care what you look like.

    This aside, you don't have to be super-attractive, or even out of the ordinary, so long as the observer finds you attractive. "Outer beauty" is something that always matters and isn't type-related in the slightest, though you already Vi as your type (whatever that may be), so don't worry about it, you'll look right.

    What I particularly find attractive in delta NFs:
    -Usually nice/reasonable.
    -Silly/joking.
    -Looking for someone to take care of them (though subtly).
    -Understanding.
    -Caring.
    -Prudent.
    -Practical (with help).
    -They laugh at my jokes and almost always understand the difference between when I'm joking and when I'm not.
    -"Deep", but not in that stupid Fe way. Jung's description is "Still water runs deep." Like a collected poise and calm.
    -Artistic.
    -Listening.
    -Elegant.
    -Aura of Fi.
    -Spark of Ne.

    There are lots of things to say and lots of ways to say them, but you should understand if you're really Fi INFj. The most important thing is to act as naturally as possible, or, in your case I hope, as much like a delta NF as possible. You'll find you mesh with the right people the right way, regardless of type.

    PS- That Coldplay song always makes me feel like there's a delta NF around. Kinda gay, but whatevs.
    Hm, I can see why you wouldn't like me all that much. I definitely do not have a normally funny or silly nature. And I don't always get when people are joking or not, though being there in person helps a lot. Heh, and I've never seen a room get brighter when I walk in, unless you count when I flip a light-switch. Those are probably two or three rather large strikes against me, at least for people of your nature.

    And, Winterpark, I think I may have got a 50/50 on yours, though that can be partly explained by me not being ENFp. For example, you're much more likely to get spontaneity and enthusiasm from one of them than from one of me.

    Ryu/UDP, like Sereno said, I think your second post is a bit more helpful to all concerned.


    Anyway, this is a somewhat interesting topic, and not entirely depressing.
    INFj / EII / FiNe
    ()


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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    There are some things about EIIs faces that I don't find so much anywhere else... EIIs tend to have the most beautiful eyes to me. They can seem very big and very soft, and seem to have a twinge of moral or ethical cocern to them, which is very appealing. Not all of them, but I do like that about some of them. EIIs tend to be somewhat thinner or smaller in general, and I find that fairly appealing. They seem feminine and dainty, which is nice.
    hellz yeah.



    I definitely agree about there being a specific subset of female INFjs who possess this quality in the eyes, particularly among Fi subs.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    [*]How classy is she, really? Trashy girls or obnoxious girls are not appealing to me at all. I don't really like slutty girls, even if they can be fun to look at. Even then, there has to be some level of refinement or style or concern. Blatant flaunting of things is unappealing. Modesty is always fine, and so is refinement or good taste, even if it's simplistic.
    While I would personally place less emphasis on "class" and "refinement," I generally agree that not only are these rather attractive traits, but they definitely help one "stand out" in the "crowd." I would definitely be more inclined to notice and probably pay closer attention to a female individual who came across this way and seperate her from others in my mind. This is probably more common/specifc to INFj females though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    (also, understated beauty is extremely appealing to me. Trying too hard to show me you're beautiful or hot doesn't float my boat that much. But I particularly like someone who is reserve about their beauty or physical features, it's appealing to encourage it out of them. I also respond well to privacy and 'for your eyes only' kind of things.)
    As you have pointed out, modesty and perhaps slight reserve in re: to how one approaches their physical appearnce/style of dress is certainly preferable to arrogant flaunting of sexuality. Especially if such flaunting is a constant in her behavior.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    [*]Does she seem like she's ethically 'with it'? This is very important to me. How does she carry herself? How does she treat other people? There has to be a certain sense that she has the necessary values
    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    I was always very interested into girls that were ethically motivated in some way,.....

    ..Sort of, how much do we admire your , in a way.
    Yes. While not important that one "wears" Fi on their sleeve 24/7, this does create a highly attracive and distinct impression. My appreciation of this quality is more about seeking a "partner/associate" with greater compentency in this area than I naturally possess myself and to assist with my own development of this quality over time rather than to synchronize my own "values/beliefs" with someone esle's.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    (On top of that, I would venture that LSEs, or even delta STs, have very particular preferences that are idiosyncratic. I have my own particular facial preferences, which are very significant to me - certain things about the faces and eyebrows, I just find them more appealing that others. That's very much fine tuning, but, I wouldn't be surprised if it was something like that for most STs.
    If we are fine tuning, then (to use "Tom phrases") brilliant sparks of Ne coupled with some undercurrent of Fi are what I would consider most eye catching. Examples below.

    (no quoting, please)


    Of course, looks of more subdued Ne, in favor of a clearer "aura of Fi" also feel extremely warm and inviting. Examples of such a look below.




    However, If you're a male ENFp who wants to platonically "attract" me then being a 7w6 helps.
    Last edited by Nebuchadnezzar; 07-16-2009 at 08:11 PM.

    "His feeling that this world is not his Fatherland, and that it does not represent his proper condition, so to speak—his feeling that, basically, he 'comes from afar'—will remain a fundamental element which will not give rise to mystical escapism and spiritual weakness, but rather will enable him to minimise, to relativise, to refer to higher concepts of measure and limit, all that can seem important and definitive to others, starting with death itself, and will confer on him calm force and breadth of vision." — Julius Evola

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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    Turn offs: pretentious, obnoxious, high-strung, narcistic, materialistic, diplomatic, manipulative, deceitful, controlling, bossy, inconsiderate, imposing, clingy, ignorant, religious...
    I particularly don't like very flamboyant people - obnoxious or overly domineering, or people trying to show off for the sake of praise or image.

    cleanliness, naturalness, nice curves, big boobs
    bad hygiene, smoking, overly concerned about looks, excessive overweight
    Naturalness especially. Particularly in a sense of being un-contrived, and not trying to present yourself in a different way to make me appealing. It was the biggest brick wall I've ever hit on a 'date', when I had lunch with an IEI (Fe). I thought she could be EII at the time, but i wasn't really sure. But as soon as we sat down and had real conversation it was so clear. I realize she wasn't trying to be antagonizing, but just how she kept trying to shift things to her perception of my mood, it was really really odd, and I couldn't trust her or her motivations. She was so smiley and so much trying to encourage a good mood, that I couldn't seriously converse with her. Avoid that at all costs. (delta NFs don't really do that, which pleases me. Even when they are being more 'diplomatic' or 'tolerant', it in an 'understanding' way, as opposed to a facade. But that of course could just be socionics-related preferences in terms of how I interpret such)


    Also, in terms of beauty, I don't like fake things very much
    - fake hair coloring (it's ok if you want to, but, I often like natural hair better, as per my tastes)
    - fake nails
    - fake breast implants (having smaller breasts that jiggle naturally are significantly more appealing than huge plastic gobs)
    - fake nose jobs

    A bit of make up is fine, and I do like women that want to take care of themselves, but I'm very particular about someone being gaudy. But what I really look at is how someone is without any dressing up, and go from there. So naturalness and sincerity comes through in many forms.

    To be clear, I'm not at all averse to someone looking good or having style, but it's how it's gone about. Are you doing it for the sake of quality, comfort? Are you doing it to be demonstrative or 'show off'? Etc.

    And I generally tend to prefer somewhat traditional or slightly business, business casual attire. That's a personal preference i'm sure. Nothing toooo trendy, but things that look good on the person. Nice jeans or nice slacks, especially if the person has a good figure, can be just as appealing if not more so than a mini skirt. Although it depends on the setting and situation, I guess. If I'm going to a party and I'm going with a date and she wants to dress up more so and show off a little, that's ok, but she doesn't need to per se.

    I'm getting more and more specific I suppose; I have my own style and preferences and my own understanding of what is 'classy'. But I'm not sure that would lead to a general ST consensus. Maybe more later.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DeAnte View Post
    Of course, looks of more subdued Ne, in favor of a clearer "aura of Fi" also feel extremely warm and inviting. Examples of such a look below.

    is that mary kay letourneau?
    6w5 sx
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    Quote Originally Posted by implied View Post
    is that mary kay letourneau?
    lol yes ahha



    duality <33
    maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
    maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
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    Is that sweater supposed to be indicative of weak Si?
    IEE

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    Quote Originally Posted by Allie View Post
    lol yes ahha



    duality <33
    i love that she somehow magically pops up on this board every now and then. so creepy.



    i think the sweater is indicative of late 90's fashion.

    http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/c...ourneau/1.html

    from p 5:

    While most people looked at Vili and saw the kid as a kid, Mary Kay apparently saw him as an adult in a boy's body. She would say, "He dominated me in the most masculine way that any man, any leader, could do. I trusted him and believed in him and in our future." Others would wonder about the psychological maturity of a 34-year-old woman who was "dominated" by someone barely in his teens.
    some of the comments about her father's affair are really interesting. this is worth a read hah.

    i think they're EIE and LSI, beta couple. my other guess would be like, IEI, LSI.
    Last edited by implied; 07-17-2009 at 12:12 AM.
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    Most of these characteristics would be appealing to a lot of people, regardless of type. Except for the very vague and not really helpful character descriptions like 'sparks of Ne' and 'undercurrent of Fi'. Might as well say, I like Fi and Ne.
    Ceci n'est pas une eii.




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    I see what you mean.
    But how would you(all) like them to be specified more so?

    What is attractive or the "special qualities" of NFs could be compared to types from other quadras, I suppose.

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Greeter View Post
    Most of these characteristics would be appealing to a lot of people, regardless of type. Except for the very vague and not really helpful character descriptions like 'sparks of Ne' and 'undercurrent of Fi'. Might as well say, I like Fi and Ne.
    Then I am truly sorry we have collectively failed to please "The Greeter".



    In the four examples above, most people - on a general level - will likely find the women presented "attractive." However, different sociotypes may experience varying degrees of attraction toward these examples, based on the general presence or vibes they send out.

    For instance, out of all four, there is only one pic that stands out to me, personally, as being particularly/the most appealing and and that I would recognize as being native to my own quadra.

    Like Jessica129, there are some ppl who have dated several different types and will not be able to distinguish themselves as being especially drawn or attracted to any one kind of "look." However, with alot of other people, I think, if you were to look at all of their "exes" you would likely find some form of pattern or trend among the people they have actually been intimate with in real life.

    I am one of such people. I have slight preferences re: what I am instinctively drawn to, and can typically distinguish the objects of my attraction as possessing a separate aura/presence/look/vibe (etc.) than 3 out of the 4 pictures presented above.

    Similar comparions could just as easily be done with males. Perhaps you perceive all of the pictures posted in this thread as being generally similar in aura or find no obvious distinction between them, if that is the case, then I apologize for all of the unhelpful posts.

    Personally, I see some fairly palpable differences.
    Last edited by Nebuchadnezzar; 07-17-2009 at 04:32 AM.

    "His feeling that this world is not his Fatherland, and that it does not represent his proper condition, so to speak—his feeling that, basically, he 'comes from afar'—will remain a fundamental element which will not give rise to mystical escapism and spiritual weakness, but rather will enable him to minimise, to relativise, to refer to higher concepts of measure and limit, all that can seem important and definitive to others, starting with death itself, and will confer on him calm force and breadth of vision." — Julius Evola

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    Also, in terms of beauty, I don't like fake things very much
    - fake hair coloring (it's ok if you want to, but, I often like natural hair better, as per my tastes)
    - fake nails
    - fake breast implants (having smaller breasts that jiggle naturally are significantly more appealing than huge plastic gobs)
    - fake nose jobs
    Yeah, those things repel me in general. Especially overdone make-up and silicone. Having style and experimenting with looks is alright (and can even be a turn on) as long as you don't obsess over it or go extreme. I also have nothing against jewelry as long as its subtle and toned down, as opposed to wearing flashy chains or whathaveyou. Tattoos and piercings on weird places (or piercings in general) I do not find attractive. Bracelets I like, particularly ankle bracelets, which can be a special turn on during summer dayz.

    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    I like big BUTT's and I cannot lie


    Honestly, I pretty much agree with Jessica on this point. If it's a relationship I'm looking for, I at least have to have some attraction, and the vibe matters much more to me. The color or height or whatever doesn't matter much.

    I really wish though that the word "Infantilism" wasn't used here so much... it's , I dunno, not quite right.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DeAnte View Post
    Then I am truly sorry we have collectively failed to please "The Greeter".
    DeAnte, I see the difference in those pictures as well. I know out of those pictures which appeals to me the most.

    I was speaking more about the descriptions Tom, Winterpark and some of the things Ryu wrote, among others. You needn't apologize, sincerely or sardonically, for the thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu
    I see what you mean.
    But how would you(all) like them to be specified more so?

    What is attractive or the "special qualities" of NFs could be compared to types from other quadras, I suppose.
    I think it is difficult to pinpoint without being overly general what exactly attracts one from another. Some things you did mention are a bit more specific like:

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu
    Even when I was less serious relationally, I was particularly draw to slightly reserved girls, and I was always very interested into girls that were ethically motivated in some way, either in terms of causes, or politics, or spirituality - I liked girls who cared about something. What really solidifies my attraction, in the past but also now, is how in-line I feel with someone's 'beliefs/values', or "Fi" if you will. The stronger I feel in line with them, the more I want to support them, and/or be around them. So I suspect, really, that for LSEs, a large part of subconscious attraction has to do with that, how we 'feel' about us being ethically aligned, how much we like or trust your ethics. How much can we put stock in them. This doesn't mean you have to be a saint, no, but how strong are some of your beliefs, and your sense of right and wrong, particularly in the area of relationships.
    But then that makes me wonder, who wouldn't like a person who was ethically motivated? Is anybody attracted to a manipulative person whose sole intention is to use and dispose? I don't think so, since said person usually puts on a facade of sincerity to initially attract their victims in the first place.
    Ceci n'est pas une eii.




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    Sorry for the ambiguity; It really is ambiguous lol.

    Umm... well I suppose that everyone would really like those things, but its all a matter of how it comes across. Like I said before: if you want to attract delta STs, just be a healthy delta NF. Being sexy is also important.
    Wond'ring aloud, How we feel today. Last night sipped the sunset, My hand in her hair. We are our own saviours, As we start both our hearts, Beating life Into each other. ~Ian Anderson

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Greeter View Post
    But then that makes me wonder, who wouldn't like a person who was ethically motivated? Is anybody attracted to a manipulative person whose sole intention is to use and dispose? I don't think so, since said person usually puts on a facade of sincerity to initially attract their victims in the first place.
    Right, so it comes down to how those "good qualities" are demonstrated.

    A very simple example: a beta NF who is performing those good qualities might be more apt to use and cater to Fe. That would be 'appealing' to beta STs, etc. But not so much to delta STs. Delta STs would prefer those qualities to be manifested via their valued functions - Fi and Ne.

    That, really, is what I think a lot of things come down to. You're absolutely right in that most (healthy) people aren't cool with obviously bad things. But how the good qualities manifest, and what things are more pliable than others, is very much type related, imo.


    Last night, actually, I was talking with someone (SEI) who was in a relationship with an LSI. The SEI was recalling some of what the LSI (Female) said, that to her, the SEI didn't seem confident enough, or protect her reputation enough. This is a very clear socionics difference. I explained to the SEI how the LSI was looking for someone with a particular beta flair to their Fe; the focus on reputaiton, on demonstrating a sort of bravado and confidence, a focus on image, etc. The SEI understood me, particularly when I referenced other betas that we both know, and comparing them to deltas, and other things like that. It was good. But the conclusion there was the same - it's very much how the positive qualities are manifested via quadra values. That's the big difference. ... at least as far as what things socionics has within its jurisdiction.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom View Post
    PS- That Coldplay song always makes me feel like there's a delta NF around. Kinda gay, but whatevs.
    hahahaha, you bastard... But what's gayer, a Coldplay song or a graduation photo? . I was going to change the sig actually, but never got around to it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    Turn ons: open-minded, spontaneous, inventive, original, enthusiastic, fun, quirky, adventurous, pleasure-seeking, imaginative, kind, benevolent, fair, sensitive, honest, discreet, good sense of humor...

    Turn offs: pretentious, obnoxious, high-strung, narcistic, materialistic, diplomatic, manipulative, deceitful, controlling, bossy, inconsiderate, imposing, clingy, ignorant, religious...


    cleanliness, naturalness, nice curves, big boobs
    bad hygiene, smoking, overly concerned about looks, excessive overweight
    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    For me, yes. In the sense of handling situations "politically", not being true to oneself, not standing your ground, being too compromising and tactful etc.

    I can see though how that might not be the only meaning of "being diplomatic" and how I could appreciate and value certain things that the concept implies/refers to.
    if this was a dating profile and I was into those I would seek no further - even without knowing anything about the person who wrote this ha ha

    seriously anyone looking for a person like the one described I feel would accept me in a heart beat

    cool duality 1 - other crap 0
    n00bIEE

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sereno View Post
    hahahaha, you bastard... But what's gayer, a Coldplay song or a graduation photo? . I was going to change the sig actually, but never got around to it.
    lol 2 birds, 1 stone?
    Wond'ring aloud, How we feel today. Last night sipped the sunset, My hand in her hair. We are our own saviours, As we start both our hearts, Beating life Into each other. ~Ian Anderson

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    I want Chris Martin to be my identical - a genious one but hey whatever
    n00bIEE

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom View Post
    lol 2 birds, 1 stone?
    I only got 1 bird. What was the second one? Unless I don't understand what you mean.

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