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Thread: Help me understand this sentence about revenge?

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    intjguy's Avatar
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    Default Help me understand this sentence about revenge?

    "Interestingly, psychologists have found that the thwarted psychological expectation of revenge may lead to issues of victimhood."

    I read this sentence and I hear it in three different ways.

    1. If you choose to turn the other cheek you will feel victimhood?

    2. Is it regarding the quote "revenge is a dish best served cold" and the psychological expectation of the avenger's victim (who starts to panic).

    3. Ignoring someone's revenge attempt as if it were water running down your back, makes the avenger feel more victimized?


    I don't know!
    In no way should one act contrary to the great future you have before you.

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    is there any other context?

    Maybe it's that if you are expecting someone to take revenge on you, but it never happens, it's you that gets these issues of victimhood.
    The saddest ESFj

    ...

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    If one removes/prevents the (potential) feeling of revenge from existing in a person (without force), they will lack a psychological mechanism to compensate (fully) with, and thus feel like a victim (defenseless against a wrongdoer who inflicted something upon them).



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    If someone is prevented from enacting the revenge they want to enact by forces outside their control, they will feel victimized.

    Revenge is then an act to reclaim ones honor or personal power in response to having been wronged. To "get back at" another is to reclaim what they took from you. It's that feeling that they took something from you that will lead you to feeling like a victim if you are unable to get back at them. But it's circular. There are ways to reclaim ones own internal feelings of power without taking direct action against others... however that mindset is contrary to vengeance in the first place.

    I guess how I see vengeance is as a need to convey to someone who has wronged you what they did to you, so they will truly understand how you feel and their own responsibility in this matter. There's something extremely alluring about it, while at the same time there is also the path of it, which only leads to more and more of it... where you desperately seek vengeance and nothing can ever be enough to satisfy the feeling. What does satisfy the feeling is reclaiming your power or receiving some recompense (tangible or intangible) for what you (unjustly) lost (it was taken). When this must be enacted in the external world (rather than simply played out in your mind) it is vengeance. So if you aren't allowed to do this, then your feelings may implode in upon themselves, because you're powerless to even make up for what you did lose, and so you can't move on. Then you would just have to feel that way for a long time until you either go insane, or until the mind is tired of it, but then you might emerge as less than what you were.

    It's so strange... you have to see yourself as a victim to even want vengeance. It's not dissimilar to how you have to see yourself as "bad" to feel guilty. It's a reinforcing loop.

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    Quote Originally Posted by intjguy View Post
    2. Is it regarding the quote "revenge is a dish best served cold" and the psychological expectation of the avenger's victim (who starts to panic).
    That's what I thought when I first read the sentence.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by fear of sleep View Post
    is there any other context?
    A quick google search returned this entry:

    Revenge - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by intjguy View Post
    "Interestingly, psychologists have found that the thwarted psychological expectation of revenge may lead to issues of victimhood."
    It means that if you don't get your revenge if you have avenging feelings, you might fall in to victim-attitude (not socionics).
    ...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.

    INTp

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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana View Post
    I like my suggestion the best. *hands out machetes* Have fun!
    lol ours was basically the same, without the machete part

    Also I read somewhere that:"the civilized men are actually more uncivilized in their conduct than the barbarians, because for the same offence among barbarians, you would get your head cleaved in half."
    ...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.

    INTp

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    ESTj Tom's Avatar
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    OMGGGG lol

    Strrrng=EPIC WIN.
    Wond'ring aloud, How we feel today. Last night sipped the sunset, My hand in her hair. We are our own saviours, As we start both our hearts, Beating life Into each other. ~Ian Anderson

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom View Post
    OMGGGG lol

    Strrrng=EPIC WIN.
    I like to roast coffee beans
    4w3-5w6-8w7

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    Cool, thanks.

    Quote Originally Posted by tuturututu View Post
    Man you have issues with revenge, retaliation, friendships,pride, jealousy..etc..you're insane. Maybe it's time you see your doctor. Blargh. insaneguy
    Why see a psychiatrist when I have 16types lawls.
    Last edited by intjguy; 07-13-2009 at 12:57 AM.
    In no way should one act contrary to the great future you have before you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by strrrng View Post
    I like to roast coffee beans
    Do you really roast them yourself? Taste better than the Whole beans they sell huh
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Loki View Post
    If someone is prevented from enacting the revenge they want to enact by forces outside their control, they will feel victimized.

    Revenge is then an act to reclaim ones honor or personal power in response to having been wronged. To "get back at" another is to reclaim what they took from you. It's that feeling that they took something from you that will lead you to feeling like a victim if you are unable to get back at them. But it's circular. There are ways to reclaim ones own internal feelings of power without taking direct action against others... however that mindset is contrary to vengeance in the first place.

    I guess how I see vengeance is as a need to convey to someone who has wronged you what they did to you, so they will truly understand how you feel and their own responsibility in this matter. There's something extremely alluring about it, while at the same time there is also the path of it, which only leads to more and more of it... where you desperately seek vengeance and nothing can ever be enough to satisfy the feeling. What does satisfy the feeling is reclaiming your power or receiving some recompense (tangible or intangible) for what you (unjustly) lost (it was taken). When this must be enacted in the external world (rather than simply played out in your mind) it is vengeance. So if you aren't allowed to do this, then your feelings may implode in upon themselves, because you're powerless to even make up for what you did lose, and so you can't move on. Then you would just have to feel that way for a long time until you either go insane, or until the mind is tired of it, but then you might emerge as less than what you were.

    It's so strange... you have to see yourself as a victim to even want vengeance. It's not dissimilar to how you have to see yourself as "bad" to feel guilty. It's a reinforcing loop.
    It sounds like you really understand Victims in both Socionics term and in real life victims who had been wrong and the matters of vengeance. How do you feel when people tell a person, to let it go, to forget what happen, when saying that only adds more fire to an already built up pain that the weak has. As the person usually end up helpless, and always get stomp at in most situation unable to stand up for themselves. yet some people doesn't really understand the pain and agony of how much they've been hurt, and give simply response like "oh just let it go", when letting it go doesn't solved the problem but will only make things ever more worse? those who take things less serious or take it as a matter of just words and only value the surface of things is the one who usually says that.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 07490 View Post
    Do you really roast them yourself? Taste better than the Whole beans they sell huh
    I don't really do it myself, but I gladly would, if I had the equipment.
    4w3-5w6-8w7

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    Quote Originally Posted by strrrng View Post
    I don't really do it myself, but I gladly would, if I had the equipment.
    I think you might have to buy the beans fresh, maybe somewhere in the farmers market and then roast them, even with your own pans, I have heard that will make the best cup of coffee even better and more fresher than the one you buy at your local starbuck.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by fear of sleep View Post
    Maybe it's that if you are expecting someone to take revenge on you, but it never happens, it's you that gets these issues of victimhood.
    This sounds right to me.

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