SLI-ILI Business/Look-alike relations (INTp & ISTp)

[Mea]

What's this look-a-like relationship like?

I just got to know this nice, smart and cool SLI and I'm wondering what you SLIs and ILIs think of this relationship romantically.

I've an SLI friend, we get along really well, but when we meet, we usually have long periods of silence, which feels pretty weird. So I'm not sure if it'll work out.

[ragnar]

What's this look-a-like relationship like?

Most of my romantic interests thru the years have been SLIs. Some years ago I actually got to seriously date one. It was wonderful.

YMMV, but for me there never was any shortage of things to talk about. Also, I appreciated her natural quietness - there are enough people around who'll drown me in hot air if I give them half a chance to do so.

The best was when we did things together, like driving thru an unfamiliar neighborhood. I really loved her practical sense and skills, in particular skills of observation.

She told me she appreciated my theoretical skills.

The main relevant problem I think was that she needed emotional support that I was unable to provide.

All in all, I see look-alike socionics relations as fully acceptable in marriage. You're better off married to a look-alike who's otherwise compatible to you than you'd be with a dual who's not.

[Mea]

that's really good news!

i'll prolly try it out and pray for the best. he seems like a great guy that's worth the effort.

[ragnar]

that's really good news!

YMMV, though. No guarantee your experiences will even remotely resemble mine.

Her background was rural and semi-academic. Mine is rural/urban and academic.

We had same ethnicity, decently compatible religion and almost identical value system. There was no intense physical attraction to cloud the judgment. Both of us were over 30.

Variation among such parameters may affect the outcome significantly, IMHO.

[crazedrat]

I really like SLIs in real life. My SLI bro and I get along well, we usually end up making jokes that show we hate minorities

[Jarno]

I've dated 2 SLI women.

I was surprised how great the relationship felt, because it's not a quadra, not a dual etc, you'd expect it to not be any good.

What has been said before here in this thread is also as I experienced it. The SLI finds the stories of the ILI very interesting especially his philosophical interests and knowledge
(SLI can be really good at those too, watch out!) The ILI likes the sensory stuff that the SLI provides as a sort of protection.

The talks go pleasant, though for a relationship you've got to watch out not letting things get to cold or to business like. Especially with two logical types.

What stood out was that the Si subtype had really simple humor and was really relaxed. The Te subtype was really loyal, ready to help you out with anything was more extreme.

Both girls dumped me, probably because I didn't give them enough attention. The si girl did it in an arrogant way. The Te type said she rather wanted to stay friends and after that we had a good fuck.

[mikemex]

The Te type said she rather wanted to stay friends and after that we had a good fuck.

That's a friend.

[Mea]

That's pretty positive feedback.
So I guess it's not harm trying?

[crazedrat]

you'll probably have fun sex and end up breaking up when your relationship goes cold.

[Mea]

you'll probably have fun sex and end up breaking up when your relationship goes cold.

I'm not that boring really.

[iAnnAu]

I'm kinda-sorta-sure that my two best friends are ILI. In both cases, we started dating within a few weeks of meeting, and broke up perfectly amicably 4-5 months after that. The one I'm more certain of being ILI, we actually started hanging out more often after breaking up! (He got married last year, and I think his wife is SEE - sweet, sweet girl.) For my part, I have zero regrets at having dated them in the first place, and I'm very, very fond of each of 'em as friends.

[Pastel]

Hello! Are there any ILIs with relationship (ideally romantic) experiences with SLIs that they would like to share?

[Rebelondeck]

I've recently witnessed a very poor one. The SLI is very technically competent and productive technologist but isn't very diplomatic. The ILI engineer hasn't a practical bone in his body and although intelligent, is ill-suited to his job but he can talk and write very convincingly. He spends a lot of time attacking the reputation and competence of the SLI, who is obviously seen as a threat; when the SLI misquotes or spells wrong, the ILI takes the time to give an oral dissertation of his thesis to each and every staff member personally. The SLI, who is ex-military, thinks the ILI is a coward and a total waste of oxygen and takes his criticisms directly to the ILI, which adds fuel to the ILI's fire.

a.k.a. I/O

[Adam Strange]

I've recently witnessed a very poor one. The SLI is very technically competent and productive technologist but isn't very diplomatic. The ILI engineer hasn't a practical bone in his body and although intelligent, is ill-suited to his job but he can talk and write very convincingly. He spends a lot of time attacking the reputation and competence of the SLI, who is obviously seen as a threat; when the SLI misquotes or spells wrong, the ILI takes the time to give an oral dissertation of his thesis to each and every staff member personally. The SLI, who is ex-military, thinks the ILI is a coward and a total waste of oxygen and takes his criticisms directly to the ILI, which adds fuel to the ILI's fire.

a.k.a. I/O

I have witnessed this exact thing between an ILI and an SLI. It shocked the hell out of me.

[Alomoes]

Hey, it's my band teacher. I already talked about him. He does live up to the Bond stereotype, I think. More on the side of incredibly hardworking, but pretty much unknown to the public.

I don't know about the arguments though. Hey I mean it could've happened, had I pressed with things. I remember, I got carried away with some coincidental evidence, and Si users really like that. So that was shut down pretty quickly. Like I have a birthday on the same day as Louis Armstrong and the Fourth of July. It was more meaning to say that tons of stuff happened on the 4th of July, but I was less developed back then. It pretty much amounted to "look at me, I'm special". Anything to satisfy the id, or super-id in this case, honestly. Now, me being a reasonable person, I did not press on further on the matter.

That's an interesting thing though. I never really got too close to him to cause that kind of thing, and I think neither of us felt that we're dealing with issues of too much importance in the grand scheme of things. I'm actually sure I surprised him, like when I figured out my issue came from mouthpiece size. I played Tuba, and had an issue of producing enough sound. As such, I tried things. Like first, I did it the conventional, just kill yourself over it method. It really didn't work. Then, I realized, my friend, who was incredibly loud, had a different bore mouthpiece. I got another mouthpiece, and voila, problem solved. Still, I'd honestly be surprised if he remembered it as well as I do, because I just remember these things.


EDIT: Oh yeah, I have more contact with another one. Pretty much like me, but more of a WW1 style officer. No retreat and such, inflexible so on and so forth. Definitely not the Max Hoffman. Has a weird compulsion to redo organization and names of things. Like I feel it is because he is out of work to do. If he was given some kind of productive task, this would probably die.