I wonder if the level of intensity of attraction you feel is related to how many differences you have. You are very attracted to people like yourself and people in your quadra--thats understandable. But if someone is so different from you, doesnt it make sense that you would find them to be most desirable (at least at first)?
I had an experience with an istj where i felt enamored with him for a very, very long time. Ive also read a thread recently about problems between istp and enfj. is it this attraction factor that is very strong for your worst relation?