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Thread: Openly sharing your problems and/or weakness w others

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    Is openly sharing your problems and/or weakness w others type-related?

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    Poster Nutbag The Exception's Avatar
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    It probably depends somewhat on the type of problem or weakness. In general I would think extraverts would be more likely to openly share.
    LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP



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    online it's really easy for me to do this. IRL it's only easy for me to do when the mood/conversation is in the right place for it... I've often called somebody up or gone to see them with the purpose of confiding in them some problem, but once I'm actually talking to them it's a huge struggle to actually follow through because just being around them usually gets me out of the mood and takes my mind off of my problems. bringing them up is like moving in the opposite direction back into my problems, which isn't what I want to do.

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    IRL I share neither my weaknesses nor my problems. It's almost physically impossible for me to say some of the stuff that would fall under these categories. I don't know why.
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    Definitely an extravert thing. I'll tell most people all my problems if they ask.

    Don't know a lot of intros that would do that.

    edit: well I suppose that would be one on one, probably not in a group
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    Quote Originally Posted by Banana Pancakes View Post
    Definitely an extravert thing. I'll tell most people all my problems if they ask.

    Don't know a lot of intros that would do that.

    edit: well I suppose that would be one on one, probably not in a group
    I definitely agree with you. I'll share some of my problems and weaknesses via the Internet. I have done so to some extent on this forum. Otherwise, I almost never do this in person unless its family or very close friends and even then its rare.
    LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP



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    I think it's safe to say that most of us learn not do this (share our problems/weaknesses with others) relatively early in life
    INFp-Ni

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    Creepy-male

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    The Colour Code neatly explains this.

    Reds and Yellows are image-based. Reds don't let on any weaknesses at all, as they want an image of flawless power and perfection. Yellows I think don't care about letting slip, but only so long as it doesn't go against their popularity, and they don't go around broadcasting their human flaws.

    Blues want to close psychological distances, so one effective way is to just bare everything. Teamwork and being a Good Person also play into this.

    My understanding of Whites is that they never involve themselves in such matters anyway, so it's a moot point.

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    Possible influences on how open a person is in sharing their problems and/or weaknesses:
    ○ What is the problem/weakness?
    ○ Who is it being shared with?
    ○ Why is the person sharing it?
    ○ How much of it is the person actually sharing? How much of it are they still keeping to themselves?
    ○ What are some of the negative or positive experiences that the sharer has had, in regards to sharing their problems/weaknesses with others?
    ○ What is the sharer's perception of or feelings towards the actual problem/weakness?
    § Example: Are they ashamed of it? Proud of it? Neutral towards it?
    ○ How deep does the problem/weakness affect them or their lives/relationships?
    ○ Is it REALLY a problem/weakness….or is it merely a difference between types?
    § Example: An irrational p type admitting that they are an irrational p. An ethical type admitting that they aren't a logical type.
    § Example: An irrational p type perceiving that irrationality is a problem or weakness due to having grown up in a strongly rational j values household.
    ○ What was the topic at hand, and how/if the problem/weakness adds to the topic or adds to the understanding.
    ○ How safe does the sharer feel in sharing at that time?
    ○ How understood/misunderstood does the sharer feel?
    etc.
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp

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    Oh I don't have any problem showing a weakness. If I don't know how to do something, I don't know, and it would be stupid to hide it. However, I don't readily share problems because that'd waste other people's time, and likely be useless as means to solve them.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bionicgoat View Post
    online it's really easy for me to do this. IRL it's only easy for me to do when the mood/conversation is in the right place for it... I've often called somebody up or gone to see them with the purpose of confiding in them some problem, but once I'm actually talking to them it's a huge struggle to actually follow through because just being around them usually gets me out of the mood and takes my mind off of my problems. bringing them up is like moving in the opposite direction back into my problems, which isn't what I want to do.
    +1 Yeah, exactly the same for me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Oh I don't have any problem showing a weakness. If I don't know how to do something, I don't know, and it would be stupid to hide it. However, I don't readily share problems because that'd waste other people's time, and likely be useless as means to solve them.
    +1

    I used to be so solitary that I didn't have confidants, but I've almost always had people who confided in me. It used to feel strange, as if the others were giving me power over them, but somewhere along the way in my development I started looking at it in a totally different light.

    Telling anyone about my problems and weaknesses doesn't give anyone "power" over me unto itself. If anything, it helps me clarify what those things are, how they came about, and even sometimes how I can overcome them: and all through the process of pushing vague uneasinesses within myself into clarified expressions, before the other party even DOES anything (besides listening).

    Doesn't mean I'm adverse to advice if people want to give it, but most of the time it's less applicable than just their sympathetic expression of what they're going through/have gone through.

    I don't think ANYBODY on the forum disagrees that I'm perfectly willing to talk about problems/weaknesses ... but it does seem to contrast with the other SLIs quite strongly. Perhaps in my case it has less to do with my type than with things that have happened along the way in my development?
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    This is a good question.

    I don't see sharing problems and weaknesses as a big deal. I've met people who have the same mentality as what iAnnAu is saying before she started seeing things differently, about allowing people to have "power" of you by doing so. I guess it's that I don't see life as some kind of power struggle, "weak vs strong." The only reason that comes to mind for me right now for disagreeing with sharing problems and/or weaknesses is if it's useless in some way, like there's nothing at all to gain from saying it, and the person won't really care that much.

    I'm a blue kind of guy, like in Gulanzon's post. Idk, I just go "fuck it" and aim to bare it all. Of course, inevitably there are situations where if I knew the outcome I might have not done it, but life's too short for having this type of reservations. I'm a love hippie, what can I say.

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    I used to not be comfortable sharing anything at all about myself. I'm not sure why. But then eventually I realized everyone was kinda jealous of me because they assumed I had no problems. It seemed sorta unequal and also I wasn't getting the benefit of venting/having people really know me, so I then did a 180 and now am very open when people ask. Though certain problems I won't tell everyone...it depends.
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

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    I'll talk about either.
    Easy Day

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    if somebody asks, I tell.

    if not, then no.

    pretty simple =]

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    Quote Originally Posted by Herzy View Post
    IRL I share neither my weaknesses nor my problems. It's almost physically impossible for me to say some of the stuff that would fall under these categories. I don't know why.
    Maybe becuase you aren't built to show your weakness, just like some people might have hard time expressing their feeling, etc...
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

  18. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by songofsappho View Post
    Is openly sharing your problems and/or weakness w others type-related?
    I would say it's type related, but different types have different reasons, and can show/hide different types of problems and weaknesses.

    I hide all that could be used against me, sometimes I have to go to great lengths to do this.

    I can easily show weaknessess, when I think I can benefit from it. Like one example could be that, if I can't open a locked door, I can just step back and say:"shit, how do you open this thing?", and let someone else open it. While some guys could struggle with the lock for point of ridiciliousness, because it's "unmanly" not being able to open the door.

    But usually if some problem/weakness is revelead of me, I usually also tell about how I'm going to solve it or that I'm already working on it to solve it. I rarely seek others for help.
    ...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.

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    How couldnt this be type related? This sort of thing has always been something ive struggled with...not because i want to talk about my problems, but thats generally how you open up to people and let them get to know you...or something. I dont ever really ever talk about how im feeling or what not . JUst doesnt seem worth my time or energy and really, not many people genuinely care about someone elses problems..just being honest.

  21. #21
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    Hmm... is caring about others' problems type-related?

    Maybe not; I would think it depends more on a person's development and on whose problems they are. Thoughts?

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    Quote Originally Posted by ephemeros View Post
    LSE and IEE confessed me the most. At least LSEs never have something to hide. With IEE, though, I have the impression that they consider other things as "weakness" than most people think.
    Hm. That may be so for some IEEs that I know. One I know is really understanding about everything, and talks about her weaknesses sometimes, but sometimes gets embarrassed about it, especially being bad at practical stuff.

    I can be exceedingly blunt and direct, including with myself, at times. It's sometimes "not having anything to hide", but other times me simply looking at a situation and saying what is wrong with it - it's simply something that I 'do'. Whether or not I'm the subject of the situation doesn't matter. It can lead to being 'too negative' at times, so it's something I watch out for.

    I rarely express real satisfaction in things, as I'm rarely satisfied with anything that I do - I tend to complement other people more than my own work. If something really does please me then I generally don't talk about it, or just 'admire' it. I realize this is better suited for my own 'work', and this does not work well when it comes to cultivating or maintaining relationships with others. On the other hand, if I see something I really really like, or somebody who I find attractive, I generally tell them about it. Those things are more rare perhaps, but more appreciated - as I have very refined and specific tastes.

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    No that's just a cultural attitude and socialization thing.

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    I don't really like talking about my problems, but I'm usually open about my weaknesses.
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
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