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Thread: Duality's "calming Effect"

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    Default Duality's "calming Effect"

    I have seen so much people talk about it, here in the forum from duality members as well as in real life interaction that both party feels this unusually calming effect, Usually we force ourselves to interact with other 15 types to engaged in conversation, Mask are implemented and we have a set of causal greeting to people, which isn't really our true selves. With dual, there is a realization that you don't need to do that, but you still mask it anyway becuase you don't know that they are your dual, but the vibe you get from your dual you realizing automatically that its better not to forced anything, centered yourself and a "real conversation can begin. I also noticed that in a group atmosphere that duals don't click so well becuase you always adapt a different approach in group talks than in one-on one conversation. I think if you find a dual that has the same enneagram instinct as yours, this would solve the problem.

    Do you feel calmer with your dual in Social situation(not one on one)?
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Jarno's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 07490 View Post
    I have seen so much people talk about it, here in the forum from duality members as well as in real life interaction that both party feels this unusually calming effect, Usually we force ourselves to interact with other 15 types to engaged in conversation, Mask are implemented and we have a set of causal greeting to people, which isn't really our true selves. With dual, there is a realization that you don't need to do that, but you still mask it anyway becuase you don't know that they are your dual, but the vibe you get from your dual you realizing automatically that its better not to forced anything, centered yourself and a "real conversation can begin. I also noticed that in a group atmosphere that duals don't click so well becuase you always adapt a different approach in group talks than in one-on one conversation. I think if you find a dual that has the same enneagram instinct as yours, this would solve the problem.

    Do you feel calmer with your dual in Social situation(not one on one)?
    Yes, I usaully think of it as like someone 'is watching your back'.

    Yes it's better in social situation, because that are the situations where you need someone to watch your back.

    oh and that part of enneagram is ofcourse shit if I may say so

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    oh and that part of enneagram is ofcourse shit if I may say so
    Do you really? I find the enneagram instinct to make a lot of sense of how you instinctively go along with situation in Social/Intimate/self preservation level.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    I feel more comfortable 1on1 since I don't like big crowds. It doesn't matter if my dual is with me or not, group atmosphere has too much influence on everything, unless it's a circle of close friends.

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    Pretend like it's the weekend Banana Pancakes's Avatar
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    With my duals I feel like I don't have to "try" when interacting. Even thinks I momentarily think I shouldn't have said are very naturally absorbed by them and they make me comfortable with having said them.

    As an example I'm pretty sure the office manager at work is an SEI. She and everyone I work with are at least twice my age, and I really don't have a lot in common with grouchy old baby boomers. Even though I've worked there a while , I'm still pretty brief and flighty and one of the other ladies in the office regularly complains that I don't talk enough. The office manager, however, always seems completely satisfied by my (meager) participation and despite having nothing in common whatsoever, we get along very well. I'm the only person in the office she doesn't get mad and rant at regularly. She always seems fine with my explanations of things and I am very tolerant of her moods. I just wish she were 20 years younger
    ILE-Ti
    6w7 sx/sp (low level of confidence)

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