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Thread: What do you think people want most in life?

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    Default What do you think people want most in life?

    Please give your answer before reading others' posts.

    I have a theory of how people's answer to this question might be type-related, and I want to see how it plays out before I throw it out there [which I will in a while, either to bash it or to promote it as pure genius ].

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    Trevor's Avatar
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    That's a tough one. Today in a magazine, charismatic priest, well known in these parts, said that it is "to love and to be loved". Did he come up with that, or?? Anyway, I tend to agree with him, but it's not something I invested much thought in.

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    Slippery when wet Simon Ssmall's Avatar
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    To each its own, I think as soon as someone gets what he want most in life the priorities change and there is something new to reach for. I think people mostly want a combination of things and it would not be fair to single something out, not to mention it also depends on the character of a person so you can't have one answer for "people".

    Usual things most people want is finding some meaning in their life, finding someone to accept them as they are, finding a job/activity in which they use their strenghts, experiencing life wonders, being accepted. Bah the list would go on and on .
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    I think people want to fuck up the world.
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    I think people want meaning and purpose. I think this takes many many different forms. Some people validate it through faith. Some people validate it through experiencing and living every day to the absolute fullest. Some people validate it by making the biggest impact they can to as many people as possible. But I think that the common thread no matter how it is accomplished is that whatever a person chooses to do in their life comes from a place of wanting meaning for what they do, who they are and having a reason to do it.
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    Sauron, The Great Enemy ArchonAlarion's Avatar
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    I think people want a variety of things out of life and to narrow it down to "most" is kinda silly.

    People want physical pleasure, happiness, and control basically.

    I could probably say something about instinctual stackings too.
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    The main thing is that people really want to love other and be loved. A loved person who is a part of something is a happy person.

    So, that includes being accepted in a community, contribute to that community.

    That lack of that in the US and the "love and relationships are silly fluffy unimportant things and status, money and cars matter" idea is the reason I think Americans are less happy than much of the world.

    So that would include feeling like they are contributing, being part of something, being appreciated, influencing others/the world. However, I'd say most of what we do comes down to relationships because we are social creatures.

    I think most of what we do and accomplish is there to be valued, by ourselves and our communities.

    I think at the base of being human, is that sort of cave man "tribe" thing where we had small communities and needed to trade goods/services just to survive. So you give me a fish and I build you a hut or whatever. I think our attempts at "success" are an effort to not be kicked off the island, because we need something to contribute to "the tribe."

    And I don't think any of this is type related. The way it manifests could I'd guess...but the underlying human desires are all the same in everyone.
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    Sauron, The Great Enemy ArchonAlarion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    I'd say people really want to love other and be loved (that includes to be accepted in a community, to contribute to that community).

    That lack of that in the US is the reason I think Americans are less happy than much of the world.

    So that would include feeling like they are contributing, being part of something, being appreciated, influencing others/the world. However, I'd say most of what we do comes down to relationships because we are social creatures.

    I think most of what we do and accomplish is there to be valued, by ourselves and our communities.

    I think at the base of being human, is that sort of cave man "tribe" thing where we had small communities and needed to trade goods/services just to survive. So you give me a fish and I build you a hut or whatever. I think our attempts at "success" are an effort to not be kicked off the island, because we need something to contribute to "the tribe."

    And I don't think any of this is type related. The way it manifests could I'd guess...but the underlying human desires are all the same in everyone.
    You are scratching at the social instinct right there.
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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    I don't know if people know what they want, so they may desire different things in their life.

    But we're built to want some things more desperately then others, so there lies both traps and fulfillments.

    I just want some loaded dice, a game to play and some to play it with.

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    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    I just want some loaded dice, and a game to play.
    Okay if you just came up with that, then props
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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ArchonAlarion View Post
    Okay if you just came up with that, then props
    I changed it, I wanted something else too...

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    Quote Originally Posted by ArchonAlarion View Post
    You are scratching at the social instinct right there.
    I'd say it's much more than an "instinct." We have instincts to do things that will help us stay alive. Enjoying life and being happy is something beyond that.

    I really think it comes down to love. I think the majority of people these days are damaged and have not been raised with enough love, and so it then becomes difficult to create love (without understanding how), and so other things are focused on (in an attempt to avoid/distract from that underlying problem). And I'd also say it's the thing that when people learn how to welcome it, can dramatically improve someone's entire life and provide meaning, fulfillment, etc.

    An instinct is to, I dunno, to wear clothing in a snowstorm. Yeah, that will help you from getting frostbite, but it won't really make you blissfully happy.
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    No I meant the social instinct from the enneagram.

    social, sexual, and self preservational.

    What you wrote is basically a description of the social instinct. A need for connectedness to the group and a fear of banishment.
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    Creepy-male

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    Personal satisfaction, in whatever way they get it.

    EDIT

    I guess because there's 16 billion different things any individual person might want in life. "Personal satisfaction" seems to be a neat one-size-fits all.
    Last edited by male; 06-24-2009 at 11:12 AM.

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    look at all the hidden agenda functions
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    I'm with hkkmr, how can I say what people want most in life? Everyone has different goals an aspirations. Even over-arching themes like wanting love or wanting happiness or wanting experience vary from person to person.

    If you asked me what I wanted, I would say to enjoy life.
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    More than anything in life, I think most ppl (sometimes secretly) want to be recognized for some thing or another... Some dream/talent... Ultimately, to be admired/remembered.

    However, I think most ppl would say that they "just want to be happy." It's less pressure than the former, and you don't expose yourself to ridicule.

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    People want to be "happy" the most. Whatever happy may be to them. It usually includes a partner, a fun, high paying job that they like, traveling, and sometimes kids.
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    Quote Originally Posted by songofsappho View Post
    Please give your answer before reading others' posts.
    I think men's wants to a very large extent are MOTOS-oriented. Either in a vulgar or a nice way, sometimes both. Often not-so-subtly sublimated into a chase for power and prestige.

    Many women seem to be seeking security above all. This is manifested in many ways, f.i. in seeking the attention of powerful, rich and prestigious guys. Or more subtly as in seeking refuge with Father Government, f.i. in voting patterns that seek to make the gov't into an all-knowing, all-caring, all-sensing, all-feeling, all-concerned big Nanny. Or big brother.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bardia View Post
    People want to be "happy" the most. Whatever happy may be to them. It usually includes a partner, a fun, high paying job that they like, traveling, and sometimes kids.
    Yeah. And a nice climate, lots of friends, free time, etc etc etc
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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ragnar View Post
    I think men's wants to a very large extent are MOTOS-oriented. Either in a vulgar or a nice way, sometimes both. Often not-so-subtly sublimated into a chase for power and prestige.

    Many women seem to be seeking security above all. This is manifested in many ways, f.i. in seeking the attention of powerful, rich and prestigious guys. Or more subtly as in seeking refuge with Father Government, f.i. in voting patterns that seek to make the gov't into an all-knowing, all-caring, all-sensing, all-feeling, all-concerned big Nanny. Or big brother.
    Security, freedom, power are in their essence the same thing.

    Socially, Men have thus far been unable to attain this without engaging in some form of struggle. Women have been unable to attain these without some sort of subservience. This is even evident in greater primate social behavior although in humanity, the equality of sexes has largely increased as time has progressed.

    As far as needs, there is probably some hierarchy of needs such as Maslow's that we need to experience. Althrough socionics hypothesize that this is digested differently per individual.

    This is why imo some people risk skipping various steps of their development, sometimes they fly, many times they fall.

    Since I'm more or less someone that is risk-averse, I prefer to go one step at a time.

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    We're biological creatures, so we are driven by pleasure and avoidance of pain, except when our rationality decides otherwise.

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    Interesting question.

    I think most people want to know that their lives have meaning and know that they are making a meaningful impact in some way. Different people are going to have different ideas about what meaningful impact is for them though. For some, this might mean living a very altruistic lifestyle, helping the less fortunate whenever they can. For others, this might mean achieving excellence in some field and being known for that. These types of people might strive to be a professional athlete or a movie star. For others, it may simply mean bringing joy and happiness to the people around them.

    I think the need to feel happy and personally fulfilled is nearly universal. People want to do the things that give them joy and avoid doing things that cause them pain. Sometimes people have to do things they don't want to do now (e.g. go to work so I can make money so I can afford food and shelter) but will generally do so if the end result is pleasure.
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    I think most people want comfort from their fears, whether their fears are founded or not.

    Fears that I see in others include:
    That one's life has no greater meaning/purpose
    That there is no afterlife; that death is the end of "me"
    That one will not be loved
    That one will not have love to give
    That one will not have enough power/ that others will have too much power over one
    Uncontrollable phobias, up to and including OCD-type paranoia


    I fear stagnation, which never lets me dwell too long in comfort. Luckily, I don't* have many other fears. (I have developed a fear of IV needles - not needles in general, just IV - and it bugs the shit out of me to know that I have this illogical but unavoidable reaction. I'd love to get rid of it, but even confronting it by donating blood/etc. hasn't helped.)

    * - I guess there's always the possibility that I'm just in total fucking denial, too.
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