ENTps falling in Love

[Polly_G]

Not to be outdone by the INTjs

When I'm in love with someone (has only happened twice), I have to resist the urge to put them before everything else. Maybe surprising to hear from an ENTp but I actually hate the new part of the relationship when you are just starting out.

That unsure time, the time when I'm still scared to completely give in and let myself attach. I want to attach, I just won't do it until I'm sure that I won't be hurt. I usually let the other person take the lead and give them hints I'm ready to turn things up a notch.

I love making the person happy and doing little things for them that puts a smile on their face. When I'm really relaxed the practical jokes might start (remembering how she dressed up like homer simpson and ran into the computer room yell DOH!! just to scare her ex).

I'll put a lot of thought into the gifts I get for the person to make sure they will be just thrilled when they get it. If I'm getting good feedback and returned gestures of appreciation, my creativity in pleasing the person I'm with grows.

Put up with my faults,appreciate my strenghts and don't be demanding and I'm already amazed at you. You'll get to see the side of me that shines when not under pressure and feels safe and protected.

I do need to think of other things besides you though so need a bit of space too. I will feel more at ease to take care of myself if I see you are happy and need that reassurance.

[Gilly]

Oh internal conflicts.

This sounds alot like a female version of me.

[ScanDave]

My problem at first I will say something to be joking. While there are girls that I like that get it and think I'm funny, and give me a hit on the arm and say I'm mean, there are some that take what I say serious. My ESTp friend noted I'm a little too mean sometimes. I said well I know that, but if the girl is insecure like that then I have no interest in her. Even if I have no interest I have a problem with still attracting them, and keeping girls like that around.


Yeah knowing when to back off, and let them have some space and come to me was a problem with me. I'm learning though. I've also noted that ESTp is great at reeling them in, and I'm great at making them feel good about themselves.


Actually my ESTp friend and I had a conversation. I told him I really do not care how far something goes with a girl, I just like the attention. And I do make a game out of it, if I can make a girl fall in love with me. Well he said he always has to know the next step and have something to shoot for, some goal or something to achieve out of it. I then told him that I like feisty girls that will joke back at me, and if the chemistry and conversation is great I'm satisfied with that.

[Polly_G]

That's funny, an ESTp calling an ENTp mean. I've mostly dealt with female ESTps but they are the most passive aggressive types I know.

I can honestly say that I don't go around trying to get guys to love me. In fact, its probably closer to the opposite. I'm worried that I might be inadvertently encouraging them. If they show interest too quick when I'm still unsure I might even back away a bit.

One man is enough of a head trip for me.

[ScanDave]

LOL. Yeah, this ESTp would screw over anyone if you were in the way. I remember him selling a 30 dollar cd walkman to an old laddy for 70 dollars.


His ISFp girlfriend broke up with him because she could not, as she claims, take his emotional manipulation. He wanted her to do this and that for him constantly because those "little things' are what counted and made him feel special. And she would tell him that a lot of that stuff did not matter to her because her love should be enough, and doing that stuff felt like a chore when he demanded it. So he would go off crying, saying if she does not want to do these things she must not really care about him.

He needs gratification all the time. When he gets a bit implusive, and I'm implusive too but I have to stop me sometimes, I've recently learned to use on him because of this site. He will call me and say I feel like doing something destructive. And I shoot back and say is the gym open tonight, let's go the gym in an hour. Works like a charm.

Before I had knowledge of Socionics, when he was being implusive against rationality, his ISFp, now ex-girlfriend, and I would cut our eyes at each other and we would be thinking the same thing. That he is going overboard, but we have no idea how to stop it. It would be real distressing for her. When she was not around I would usually partake in such behavior. I guess it is the whole duality thing, I'm too calm to be implusive. When I first met her I used to be out of control, and I remember when I was acting a fool and she came up to me, put her hand over my mouth, and calmly told me to stop. Yeah I did, and was not even mad. LOL. I remember not liking her as much though, but then I noticed we always seem to speak to each other without talking. When I came across Socionics it all started to make sense.

[Polly_G]

Hmm actually I was thinking a bit more about this and there is a wee bit of sidebar to this actually though...

If I see problems with committing to that person but am unsure, I might actually appear to them to be very committed to the relationship when I'm actually not.

I am actually adopting a wait and see attitude...wait and see if my feelings towards them change or wait and see if someone else better comes along. I'm not the type to cheat though. If I was really interested in someone who I thought returned it, I would break up with the person I was with first before persuing it.

That kind of thing really screws with a person's ability to trust and I don't want to be responsible for that. I know I would appreciate the same respect back. So do onto others as you would have done to you kind of thing.

[ScanDave]

Well just recently I had a someone that was interested in me. She wanted to know if I liked her. Well I had a problem with answering that question because I myself was not sure, and the whole like thing makes me uncomfortable. For one, I feel like my options are closed off. Two, I'm not exactly sure I do. Three, I would rather skip that whole mess and that whole being "official" crap and just jump right in. I mean we hung out several times, we walked holding hands and having arms wrapped, and kissing. How can you not be sure that I like you? I believed it was the start of something, but she told me I waited to long to get in a relationship with her. So that shit confused the hell out of me.

[lunareclipse]

Well just recently I had a someone that was interested in me. She wanted to know if I liked her. Well I had a problem with answering that question because I myself was not sure, and the whole like thing makes me uncomfortable. For one, I feel like my options are closed off. Two, I'm not exactly sure I do. Three, I would rather skip that whole mess and that whole being "official" crap and just jump right in. I mean we hung out several times, we walked holding hands and having arms wrapped, and kissing. How can you not be sure that I like you? I believed it was the start of something, but she told me I waited to long to get in a relationship with her. So that shit confused the hell out of me.

does this also apply with an ex? my ENTP ex seems interested in me again (flirting, hand-holding, complimenting me, etc). Is he interested in me again or is this interaction "platonic" for him since we're already so comfortable around one another?

[Banana Pancakes]

When I first met her I used to be out of control, and I remember when I was acting a fool and she came up to me, put her hand over my mouth, and calmly told me to stop. Yeah I did, and was not even mad. LOL. I remember not liking her as much though, but then I noticed we always seem to speak to each other without talking. When I came across Socionics it all started to make sense.

Wow that sounds fantastic.

does this also apply with an ex? my ENTP ex seems interested in me again (flirting, hand-holding, complimenting me, etc). Is he interested in me again or is this interaction "platonic" for him since we're already so comfortable around one another?

If he's ENTp then that means he's interested again, I can't see an ILE doing that platonically. How do you know he's ILE though?

[lunareclipse]

Wow that sounds fantastic.



If he's ENTp then that means he's interested again, I can't see an ILE doing that platonically. How do you know he's ILE though?

I had him take his MBTI. Despite getting signals that he's interested again, I'm very hesitant to ask him about them because he rarely opens up emotionally (he's only ever opened up to me, and that was when we were in a committed relationship years ago). what should I do to take our relationship to the next level without him feeling pressured?

[Banana Pancakes]

I had him take his MBTI. Despite getting signals that he's interested again, I'm very hesitant to ask him about them because he rarely opens up emotionally (he's only ever opened up to me, and that was when we were in a committed relationship years ago). what should I do to take our relationship to the next level without him feeling pressured?

Full stop. MBTI ENTP =!= Socionics ENTp.

If he's actually ENTp in socionics, you can't do anything to make him open up or take your relationship to the next level. Just be fun and like his ideas while giving him space.

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[Banana Pancakes]

Not to be outdone by the INTjs

When I'm in love with someone (has only happened twice), I have to resist the urge to put them before everything else. Maybe surprising to hear from an ENTp but I actually hate the new part of the relationship when you are just starting out.

I know that feeling, it gets me into trouble. It's like when you really really know you could be with that person, everything takes a backseat. It's like the classical teenage puppy love thing, but x1000, and it really sucks to completely understand in your mind what's taking place but not be able to change it. Only happened twice for me as well and both times derailed my school/career.

That unsure time, the time when I'm still scared to completely give in and let myself attach. I want to attach, I just won't do it until I'm sure that I won't be hurt. I usually let the other person take the lead and give them hints I'm ready to turn things up a notch.

It's interesting that you don't take the lead, I prefer not to myself, but I feel forced by society to lead since I'm the male (I'm assuming you're female).

I love making the person happy and doing little things for them that puts a smile on their face. When I'm really relaxed the practical jokes might start (remembering how she dressed up like homer simpson and ran into the computer room yell DOH!! just to scare her ex).

I'll put a lot of thought into the gifts I get for the person to make sure they will be just thrilled when they get it. If I'm getting good feedback and returned gestures of appreciation, my creativity in pleasing the person I'm with grows.

LOL at dressing up like homer simpson.

I've noticed SEIs really like my gifts.