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Thread: Alpha "Caring" and Delta "Childlike" Types

  1. #1
    Creepy-male

    Default Alpha "Caring" and Delta "Childlike" Types

    Specifically, I'm thinking of the benefit pairs.

    Do you know any such couples?

    If not, talk to me about the theory going on behind them.

    What made me think: Delta Infantiles apparently fall into a pattern of giving way too much, to the detriment of their own health. I was wondering how this interacts with the Care-dar in Alphas. The questions above are still valid, however.

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    pumpkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    Specifically, I'm thinking of the benefit pairs.

    Do you know any such couples?

    If not, talk to me about the theory going on behind them.

    What made me think: Delta Infantiles apparently fall into a pattern of giving way too much, to the detriment of their own health. I was wondering how this interacts with the Care-dar in Alphas. The questions above are still valid, however.
    so im an esfj im the caregiver and would and enfp be the infantile?

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    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by pumpkin View Post
    so im an esfj im the caregiver and would and enfp be the infantile?
    Correct!

    And SEI-EII as well.

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    i'll tear down the sky Mattie's Avatar
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    Out of all the egos, FeSi is the least likely for me to feel attracted to. There is something about being "out-affectioned" that bothers me, I think, and I get doted on way too much for my comfort level. They also require a certain level of control and almost obedience from me... I don't know any couple that are, though, that are of your specifics.

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    Quote Originally Posted by look.to.the.sky View Post
    Out of all the egos, FeSi is the least likely for me to feel attracted to. There is something about being "out-affectioned" that bothers me, I think, and I get doted on way too much for my comfort level. They also require a certain level of control and almost obedience from me... I don't know any couple that are, though, that are of your specifics.
    I completely agree. Couldn't put it better myself. It's like I appreciate the effort, but don't "need" it and it makes me feel obligated and uncomfortable, sort of boxed in I guess. I'd prefer someone be a bit grumpy or at least give me something to contribute. If they are sunshine-y like me too it's like a whole bunch of carebears dancing around...which is just not attractive at all.
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

  6. #6
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by look.to.the.sky View Post
    I don't know any couple that are, though, that are of your specifics.
    Nah, that's fine. Own experiences/comments/whatevers are totally valid too. Thanks!

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    I had words here once, but I didn't feed them Khola's Avatar
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    I have an EII friend - we get along quite well, but I wouldn't date him......I mean he's a nice guy, but he's just not my type, no pun intended

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    i'll tear down the sky Mattie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MaliaFee View Post
    Well, we have an IEE bass player in our band (which, by the way, is made up of: INTj boyfriend is vocals/guitar; ISFp lead guitar; ESFj (me) on keys<---I KNOW!!! It's almost a complete quadra!; drummer, not sure on his type). He comes to practice and appears quite drawn to me; shows me a bunch of attention. That is, until I chat with him in return, and then it's oddly hard to get him to listen to even one thing I say... he's out sight within a less than a minute of me responding to a question he asks or just making pleasantries. God forbid I say something of substance -- I don't think he can bear to listen! It's a weird thing. He's all over me with compliments and even will be overtly flirtatious after one beer -- until I open my goddamn mouth (haha!).
    lol Interesting to see it from this perspective. I recently had an FeSi chasing me (romantically, not psycho-killer like) and he would call me constantly trying to hang out or to do something, even multiple times a day, to fill up every time slot of my day. I would try to be nice, but there came a time where he wouldn't even let me relax at home. He'd call, ask what I was doing, and I'd tell him I was staying in, and he would pester me multiple times and maybe even get pouty until I gave in. My best friend told me that he was saying I deserved someone nicer and more caring than my current love interest situation (another troublesome SiTe) and resented any mention of the SiTe. I started to find that I had to be more forward and just deal with the retaliation rather than try to be smooth and hope the FeSi lost interest eventually. I liked him as a friend, but now he has a bit of bitterness of the situation, and sometimes quips about something concerning it that makes me feel uncomfortable. Thankfully he's gone to China for a couple of months, so I hope he loses interest and comes back wanting to just be friends.

    Concerning that NeFi in your band, I think, for one reason or another, NeFi seem like they are showing more attention and focus on people than they realize. It's like we treat everyone "special." And it's typically true if the relationship is comfortable and open, I know I like paying attention to people, but there are times I'm just naturally nice and don't mean anything by it but being nice.

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    redbaron's Avatar
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    I know both of those couples. 1. ESFj/ENFp and 2. ISFp/INFj

    I'm not sure the delta infantiles "give way too much", at least not from what I can tell. The deltas do their duty and the alphas try to keep things light and fun. Here's more what I see: both deltas seem tired of or frustrated with the alphas. Like they're not really getting what they need and there's nothing more they can do so they give up. The alphas kind of throw up their hands when they realize they're not pleasing the deltas and move on to other points of interest that make them happy. The ESFj/ENFp have been married for about 12 years and the ISFp/INFj have been married for 22 years. I think ESFj/ENFp are entering a rough patch at the moment--they have three small children and they both feel stretched thin. ISFp/INFj have entered into an acceptance of the occasional disappointment they feel in their marriage and are determined to stay married and make the best of it. It's interesting because they have opposite problems, in a way. ESFj/ENFp is too social and they expend a lot of energy--there's plenty of communication but it's not always positive. ISFp/INFj are too insulated and besides not having many good friends, they've developed a pattern of non-communication between the two of them where they often function as islands in their own home. I'm rambling now... sorry.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    interesting so my moms pretty good at typing people and she thinks that one of my great guy friends that ive had for the last 5 years that has liked me is an enfp... hes a great guy but sometimes i think hes too nice.. believe me we have great conversations! hes cuddly which i really enjoy, i was told that hes liked me for the longest time by a mutual friend of our and seriously had no idea.. sometimes i could see myself with him. dont know how it would work tho.. my moms and enfp... so i ask her a lot of questions but shes a lady just like me so it must be seen very differently from a guys point of view... or so i would imagine?

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    Quote Originally Posted by pumpkin View Post
    interesting so my moms pretty good at typing people and she thinks that one of my great guy friends that ive had for the last 5 years that has liked me is an enfp... hes a great guy but sometimes i think hes too nice.. believe me we have great conversations! hes cuddly which i really enjoy, i was told that hes liked me for the longest time by a mutual friend of our and seriously had no idea.. sometimes i could see myself with him. dont know how it would work tho.. my moms and enfp... so i ask her a lot of questions but shes a lady just like me so it must be seen very differently from a guys point of view... or so i would imagine?
    Maybe you should pose those questions in the Delta forum? An open ended question like that about male ENFps just makes me think of every little possibility on how it could be different from female ENFps. There's no doubt there's some large differences, probably mostly societal differences. It's a good question though, I think you'd most likely learn a lot more by ENFp male & females bouncing ideas/thoughts off of each other.

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    thanks thats a great idea

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    The 2 SEI males I know like to display their protecting side. One would gently look after me while in town (I tend to cross the street at the wrong time), and the other would stand next to me to discourage any agressor (he's a policeman :tongue: ). They follow the traditional lines naturally, but it's more about being gallant than being macho. Well... They sometimes play macho, just to get a silly joke about it, something I'm too happy to give them.
    It's very comforting having a strong but peaceful man near by. In exchange, I share my observations with them. The more random, the happier the SEI. But after a while, it's tiring.

    As long as things are fun and light, everything's perfect. Things got rough when I tried to establish a clear state of relationship. They freaked out. Even my SEI female friend, when I tried to "feel" how deep was our link. I could almost hear her U-turn her psychological car.

    edit : I remember... I've a IEE male friend, and yes, he is very flirtarious (not sure of the word). Many girls at our university have thought he was into them, but no, it's just his natural state. Once, after years of friendship, he told me he was glad that everything were always clear between us. Don't know why, but I was very flattered.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Linalee View Post
    As long as things are fun and light, everything's perfect. Things got rough when I tried to establish a clear state of relationship. They freaked out. Even my SEI female friend, when I tried to "feel" how deep was our link. I could almost hear her U-turn her psychological car.
    haha YES, it's true! Fun and light.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by MaliaFee View Post
    I have decided my dad is definitely SEI (his relations with my mom [almost certain she is INFj] and SLI brother have confirmed this in my mind, especially now that I know the socionics meanings for intratrim and extratrim) -- so if my dad is SEI and my mom is EII, would that qualify and alpha caregiver/delta infantile? Or is EII something else?
    yes, that qualifies.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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