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Thread: unfamiliar people and places get the best of me

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    Haikus
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    Default unfamiliar people and places get the best of me

    It's much more environment based than people/personal based.

    I don't like being around unfamiliar places, especially for a long time. Even if it's with people I know, when they merge with the people of this new environment, they seem to change, and everything becomes incredibly uncomfortable and I get homesick and it becomes impossible to activate myself. It's not even a personal thing with those unfamiliar people. There's nothing I directly dislike about them, but it's sincerely just my imagination.

    The best example is when I went along with my church's youth group to a camp for about a week. I already started getting nervous on the bus ride up to the camp. When we got there, there were tons of unfamiliar people and the grandeosity and openness of the place freaked me out. It was cold and it smelled all-natural, and those elements stayed with me in my dislike for the place while I was there, and not just a personal dislike, but the place completely got the best of me. I couldn't act normally with the rest of my friends. The emotions I were feeling earlier became intensely magnified with every hour. I became depressed and I couldn't open myself up and feel free to act without any negative emotion attached. It got on my friend's nerves. My peace of mind was threatened.

    Is this type (co)related?

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    I think unfamiliar places make everyone a bit uncomfortable, but probably not to that extent. I'm not sure if that'd be type related...could it be shyness? When I was younger I was super shy and would go mute when the group size got bigger than maybe 3, if it was new people. It may be a life experience thing, because as I was forced to be around people more, I actually finally learned to not be shy and then was myself.

    Or maybe you were homesick going far away for that camp?
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    I don't think everyone is like that, that's why I'm asking based on type. Maybe I'm exactly the same way, except I perceive more people than usual. You said you got uncomfortable around 3 or more people. Well I do to. But maybe for me when the number of people grows bigger and bigger, I get more nervous and uncomfortable. Picture dozens of people passing by you at every angle all the time. Not to mention they we're all basically teenagers. School is the same way, but this situation seemed much more unfamiliar and was much more uncomfortable. I did feel a lack of control.

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    It seems past type related, though, maybe certain types are more prone to it. As in, it's a situational/experience that some types would react a certain way more likely, but not always or maybe they never encounter this problem. As a NeFi, I can't say I've ever really felt this extreme with unfamiliar places and social situations. I recently traveled to across the country by myself and met people I haven't met in person or haven't seen in a really long time. There was little apprehension and I loved the busy parts of the city. When it comes to new places and social arenas, I feel more left out rather than anxious.

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    Quote Originally Posted by polikujm View Post
    I don't think everyone is like that, that's why I'm asking based on type. Maybe I'm exactly the same way, except I perceive more people than usual. You said you got uncomfortable around 3 or more people. Well I do to. But maybe for me when the number of people grows bigger and bigger, I get more nervous and uncomfortable. Picture dozens of people passing by you at every angle all the time. Not to mention they we're all basically teenagers. School is the same way, but this situation seemed much more unfamiliar and was much more uncomfortable. I did feel a lack of control.
    yeah anything where you feel a lack of control is going to suck. Maybe the fact that you were stuck at the camp and couldn't leave had something to do w/ it?

    I used to get almost anxiety attacks almost constantly when I was younger, mostly up through high school and some of college. And then it went away. I think having more control when I was an adult helped. It also ended up being helpful because I was so used to feeling terror/dread/anxiety that I could do tasks that other people would be afraid to do, and I felt about the same, since I was always anxious. So I could like, go to events alone and make friends there, or audition for plays or speak in front of big audiences and I was just so used to feeling terror that it was like, eh, this is no worse then just walking across campus...

    But yeah, I would sometimes get so anxious just walking to class that my heart would pound and I'd feel like I was going to pass out. But I managed to always make it look like I was calm and got good at hiding it. I was also very social, so no one knew I was like that. Teenagers are really judgemental of each other too, so that could be part of it. I was about 10x more self conscious in hs than I am now. I remember the hallway was essentially a cat walk and people would comment on whether you looked fabulous or not, so it was so much pressure all the time.

    I think shyness and that sorts of thing is separate from type.

    I don't know if that's type related...could be. I know an INTj who refuses to travel because he doesn't like to give that control up, and would prefer to drive (and is also somewhat shy). But then I know another INTj who is sort of up for anything and very open/not shy. Would be interesting to see people of your type comment to see if it is type related.
    Last edited by jewels; 05-28-2009 at 05:08 PM.
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