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Thread: Forum peoples!

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    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
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    Default Forum peoples!

    What have you to say re intent versus action? Which do you think is more important? E.g. do you more often take comfort in the fact that you meant well in a situation or didn't say something you didn't mean ... or rather that you did the right thing regardless of how you felt?

    Feel free to go off on elaborate tangents. Or to not answer at all for that matter. :0
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

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    Creepy-male

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    I have an overwhelming urge to quote your posts and reply with solely your current avatar.

    </tangent>

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    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
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    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

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    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    I have an overwhelming urge to quote your posts and reply with solely your current avatar.

    </tangent>
    But feel free!

    You sort of ruined the surprise factor though. :/
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

  5. #5
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rubicon View Post
    But feel free!

    You sort of ruined the surprise factor though. :/


    What surprise?

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    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    What surprise?
    The one I would have had had you not elaborated on your intentions. Though there's something to be said for being prepared too I guess.
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

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    ragnar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rubicon View Post
    What have you to say re intent versus action? Which do you think is more important?
    My natural reaction is to say intent, since it reflects personality which will be present and influence future actions as well. The one-time action may be less important than the whole of future tendencies.

    We're in opposite quadra and temperament, so the above probably comes across as meaningless and/or irrelevant to you.
    Last edited by ragnar; 05-17-2009 at 02:21 PM. Reason: conciseness, typo
    Greetings, ragnar
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  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rubicon View Post
    What have you to say re intent versus action? Which do you think is more important? E.g. do you more often take comfort in the fact that you meant well in a situation or didn't say something you didn't mean ... or rather that you did the right thing regardless of how you felt?

    Feel free to go off on elaborate tangents. Or to not answer at all for that matter. :0
    I say what I think is right. When I don't say something it's because it's in my self-interest not to say something (waste of my time, creates obstacles to what I want etc.). I think saying what I think is right really same as meaning well, somewhere deep down

    Maybe I understood the question bit wrong.
    ...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.

    INTp

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    escaping anndelise's Avatar
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    If a person does something that winds up hurting me, but then lets me know that their intent was something else...I'll try to be forgiving. How easy I'm able to forgive seems dependent upon a) how much I believe/trust the person, and b) how hurt I was.

    So sometimes I'll respond with, 'oh, hey, no problem then, glad we got that cleared up', and other times I might struggle with the forgiving part, having to keep remind myself that this person didn't intend to hurt me (or wrong me), that it just happened to be a side-effect of what they did do, but that it's up to me to recover from this.

    There are probably a few exceptions to this, for me.
    One of which, for example, would be my inability to fully forgive my father. He's apologized for his actions. But I don't trust his apologies. Nor do I trust his intents. He says he didn't intend to hurt me when he did the things he did to me. But he's never acknowledged WHAT his intentions were when he was doing those things. This leaves me in a state of limbo and uncertainty about how I feel about it all..and about him. So in response, I won't have anything at all to do with him, nor will I allow him anywhere near my daughter. I've never even sent pictures of my daughter to my family where he's at...simply because I don't want him to even THINK about her...at all!!

    So it's possible that in this case, the actions are all I have to go by.

    Another exception would probably be if a person keeps hurting me. Even if I know that they aren't intending to hurt me...they still keep doing it. I'll usually try to tell them that I'm being hurt by what they are doing. They'll tell me they don't intend to hurt me. Yet they still keep doing the action. At some point, I HAVE to protect myself from further hurt. At this point I will cut off contact with that person.



    I've interacted with a few NiFe (self-typed) (males and females), and there seems to be a consistent theme, but I'm not really sure how to phrase it. For one, they each seem to keep assuming that a person doesn't act without intention. If a person did something, they did so with some intent in mind. This is foreign to me as I often act or speak without even knowing what I'm going to do or say until AFTER I've said or done it. Needless to say, this can create conflict between us, whether it's the actions I did, the words I said, or even the discussions of the topic itself of whether or not there can be action without intent.

    The other theme I keep seeing is a tendency for each of them to hold a grudge against the person for the actions done that hurt them. All but one of the NiFe have said something along the lines of "i don't care WHAT their intent was...I was hurt, period." and, depending on the individual, s/he may apply consequences to the action..or the person who did the action...which could range from cutting off all contact...to outright attacks against the person who hurt them.
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp

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    Park's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ragnar View Post
    We're in opposite quadra and temperament
    How so? She's SEI. And your signature says ILI.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    ragnar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    How so? She's SEI. And your signature says ILI.
    You got me. I confused keirsey "temperaments" with socionics "clubs" there for a moment.
    Greetings, ragnar
    ILI knowledge-seeker

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    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ragnar View Post
    We're in opposite quadra and temperament, so the above probably comes across as meaningless and/or irrelevant to you.
    No. (: I wanted to know what people from various quadras thought..
    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    I've interacted with a few NiFe (self-typed) (males and females), and there seems to be a consistent theme, but I'm not really sure how to phrase it. For one, they each seem to keep assuming that a person doesn't act without intention. If a person did something, they did so with some intent in mind. This is foreign to me as I often act or speak without even knowing what I'm going to do or say until AFTER I've said or done it. Needless to say, this can create conflict between us, whether it's the actions I did, the words I said, or even the discussions of the topic itself of whether or not there can be action without intent.
    Ahh yeah .. I've noticed that too. What do you type yourself as?
    Quote Originally Posted by Akra View Post
    But what Ann said, yes. Spot-on for me.
    What Ann said re NiFes? .. or regarding herself?
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

  13. #13
    escaping anndelise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rubicon View Post
    Ahh yeah .. I've noticed that too. What do you type yourself as?
    NeFi
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    Oh, it's coming back to me. Temperament, IP, EJ, etc. Not my favorite classification.

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