How do IEIs/INFps behave when attracted to someone?

[Sueno]

For the most part, I feel like INFp just like other people to do the approaching or the initiating in general and play with the interaction that goes on. Maybe the line between a friendly INFp and one that is showing interest could be one that engages in deeper, romantic like ideas or convos…possibly using those ideas to captivate someone.. haha. But yea it could vary from person to person..just go with the flow.
Personally I feel like I could be unpredictable when it comes to showing signs… it depends on what vibes I’m getting from the other person and if they show great drive and initiative for life..hehe

[jessica129]

Ugh, just let her sing the damn song. I hate overreactive audience members.

[silverchris9]

I'm a terrible example, because I've never been in a relationship, at this point entirely due to my own timidity(/a small amount of that thing about victims subconsciously knowing what they want; there's lots of relationships I bet I could pursue, but I know we'd break up in the end...), but I think when I really like a girl I get, if anything, more awkward, a little bit more absent and in-my-head (self-conscious, but that might just be a general awkward guy thing?) The chance that I'll pretend I'm interested in whatever the girl is saying (and attempt to appear knowledgeable about that subject) quadruples at least (again, this is probably all guys, hell, all people), and I'll seek out opportunities to fall into conversation (also everybody).

Also, I occasionally do the sort of stare-at-her-while-she's-not-looking thing, sort of romantically absorbed in my own thought. Maybe that's just because I'm a loser/stalker. *sigh*. I don't think any of that was helpful.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

You do seem timid. And cute. Like , you just sort of want to do the stereotypical infp thing and help the human race as a whole with empathy. I'm kinda like this but then I mean you get self-aware that you need to have more balls. But you're just too aware of like the social struggles as a writer lol. So you have to talk yourself into a lot of shit.

Idk I would just enjoy yourself or something I'm not trying to give you advice exactly just..... don't worry about it. There will be somebody that comes along that loves the timid thing I think, if you just live your life in addition to writing about it. I mean so what if everybody makes fun of you for being a timid fag I mean, you're strong enough now not to let that ruin you. Right?

[silverchris9]

You do seem timid. And cute. Like , you just sort of want to do the stereotypical infp thing and help the human race as a whole with empathy. I'm kinda like this but then I mean you get self-aware that you need to have more balls. But you're just too aware of like the social struggles as a writer lol. So you have to talk yourself into a lot of shit.

Idk I would just enjoy yourself or something I'm not trying to give you advice exactly just..... don't worry about it. There will be somebody that comes along that loves the timid thing I think, if you just live your life in addition to writing about it. I mean so what if everybody makes fun of you for being a timid fag I mean, you're strong enough now not to let that ruin you. Right?

Heh. Thanks. I do think love, like a lot of things, has a lot of self-persuading in it. If nothing else, I like socionics because it helps me persuade myself that I have a shot with SLE girls (which means any girl I decide I like, unless they're super obviously not SLE, in which case they're LSI or IEI) and that maybe we could have a relationship that would be good and worth it for a while before going to shit.

I think I'm taking a break from writing for a little while, actually. I still do it when something knocks me over the head, but otherwise, I'm going to try to do a little bit of living before I get back to the poetry. Just feels like the right time. This will put me behind schedule to be as good as Keats by the time I'm 22 or however old he was when I wrote all of the super amazing best poems, but so long as I don't die super super young, that should be fine. Walt Whitman was like thirty something when he published Leaves of Grass, so I'll be OK.

[crazedrat]

well, it's pretty much guaranteed if they're spending 7 hours with you they like you. but basically it's the whole victim / aggressor thing. I was close to an ENFj girl once and we had alot of fun. I had a lot of fun messing with her. But she had a boyfriend so it didnt go anywhere. I'm not sure what would of happened if she didn't though since two victim sexual styles may result in both waiting for the other to make a move so they can respond to it. Basically try to be kind of forward and it should work out fine.

[strrrng]

I think you'll see a marked difference in the energy levels they maintain around you. also, it may seem like they're deliberately trying to charm you, which is really just a projection of them being charmed and expressing it subtly. most tend to maintain a general psychological distance from others, waiting for activation; once they start genuinely opening up around you and taking more control of the emotional interplay, it means they are interested. I think it differs among subtypes though. Fe-IEIs can be pretty engaging and charismatic on a consistent basis, and seem to want someone to 'pull them in' and harness their energy; Ni-IEIs are more distant, where you know they are present but not fully showing it; Se-seeking manifests in the more generic sense with them, as direct initiative in communication (and not pushy, aggressive bullshit, but composed pressure) is the most effective way to, at the least, get them to react.

[redbaron]

composed pressure

mmmmmmm yeah.

[sarinana]

I think you'll see a marked difference in the energy levels they maintain around you. also, it may seem like they're deliberately trying to charm you, which is really just a projection of them being charmed and expressing it subtly. most tend to maintain a general psychological distance from others, waiting for activation; once they start genuinely opening up around you and taking more control of the emotional interplay, it means they are interested. I think it differs among subtypes though. Fe-IEIs can be pretty engaging and charismatic on a consistent basis, and seem to want someone to 'pull them in' and harness their energy; Ni-IEIs are more distant, where you know they are present but not fully showing it; Se-seeking manifests in the more generic sense with them, as direct initiative in communication (and not pushy, aggressive bullshit, but composed pressure) is the most effective way to, at the least, get them to react.

I am 100% sure he is INFp-Fe. He talks twice as much as me and compliments me that I am a good listener. Well what can I say... he uses so many metaphors and epithets that while my brain is filtering all of them into small simple sentence I can't speak much. He wants me to meet his friends tomorrow. So I guess everything is great!

[crazedrat]

Glad to hear an INFp is getting laid out there.

[sarinana]

Glad to hear an INFp is getting laid out there.

Not really yet. So far he acted like sex is just a waste of time.

[redbaron]

Not really yet. So far he acted like sex is just a waste of time.

[sarinana]

But at least now I am sure he adores me.
I only need to get typed myself.

[discojoe]

They act very passive and expect the other person to take 100% of the initiative.

[crazedrat]

no, not 100 percent. more like 65. I know there have been times where I've been aggressive and straightforward.

[strrrng]

65% on a good day lol. I'd say the highest percentage of initiative I've taken in the recent past, was during an adderall binge, and that was probably 60-40 or something. it just doesn't occur that I'm supposed to, and I assume that if nothing interesting compels me, residing internally will sustain. but there's also a certain threshold of energy that's naturally maintained, because inner perceptions and feelings don't just happen to come together; so, it's more about stimulation happening at the right time.

[sarinana]

hehe yesterday we were sitting at a bar and this song started playing:

and he started singing along while looking straight into my eyes.
or he said "i sometimes feel like i am getting drunk just by looking at you."
also he kinda bragged about me to his friends. but i was already too drunk to remember what he said. i just remember the fact.

he is also a social butterfly. likes to chat with many different people. it was funny how later he felt bad because of "not giving enough of attention to me" when i really didn't care about that, i had my own friends.

well yeah INFps know how to worship.

[Satan]

This is considered seductive??

i think that's just called being cheapy and needy and wanting to befriend people

but idk .. i've had other guys do that to me and it can be /weird/ ..

but it doesn't feel like seduction.

[Satan]

hehe yesterday we were sitting at a bar and this song started playing:
YouTube - Alice Cooper ~ Poison (Lyrics)
and he started singing along while looking straight into my eyes.
or he said "i sometimes feel like i am getting drunk just by looking at you."
also he kinda bragged about me to his friends. but i was already too drunk to remember what he said. i just remember the fact.

he is also a social butterfly. likes to chat with many different people. it was funny how later he felt bad because of "not giving enough of attention to me" when i really didn't care about that, i had my own friends.

well yeah INFps know how to worship.

maybe you should demand more from him. otherwise he'll just spin in circles worshipping you. and whats' the fun in that ?

[Satan]

I think you'll see a marked difference in the energy levels they maintain around you. also, it may seem like they're deliberately trying to charm you, which is really just a projection of them being charmed and expressing it subtly. most tend to maintain a general psychological distance from others, waiting for activation; once they start genuinely opening up around you and taking more control of the emotional interplay, it means they are interested. I think it differs among subtypes though. Fe-IEIs can be pretty engaging and charismatic on a consistent basis, and seem to want someone to 'pull them in' and harness their energy; Ni-IEIs are more distant, where you know they are present but not fully showing it; Se-seeking manifests in the more generic sense with them, as direct initiative in communication (and not pushy, aggressive bullshit, but composed pressure) is the most effective way to, at the least, get them to react.

yeah, it hink the Ni ones are nicer

[crazedrat]

65% on a good day lol. I'd say the highest percentage of initiative I've taken in the recent past, was during an adderall binge, and that was probably 60-40 or something. it just doesn't occur that I'm supposed to, and I assume that if nothing interesting compels me, residing internally will sustain. but there's also a certain threshold of energy that's naturally maintained, because inner perceptions and feelings don't just happen to come together; so, it's more about stimulation happening at the right time.

Ah... that's where you've been. You've been high on aderall, productive. Yeah I would take aderall if I could.

[Satan]

Ah... that's where you've been. You've been high on aderall, productive. Yeah I would take aderall if I could.

what's this need to be productive about?

[strrrng]

yeah, it hink the Ni ones are nicer

I agree.

Ah... that's where you've been. You've been high on aderall, productive. Yeah I would take aderall if I could.

It was funny, because I didn't even think I was being productive at the time. But yeah, it was a good artistic facilitator, to say the least.

[blank]

Ignores you.
Sometimes confrontational.
Sometimes bratty.
Many times flaky.
Goes quiet and awkward at random.
Tries to spank you.
Softness in the eyes behind composed mask.
Contacts you at random times during the night and then apologizes immediately after.
Sometimes acts cool to make it seem like they're not a dork but really are and want to be accepted for it.
Other weird shit.

[Beautiful sky]

They are lenient in their demands and requests, they create an atmosphere of nonjudgemental enjoyment. Uninhibited.

[Olimpia]

Ignores you.
Yes, I do that, to an extent. Not always, though. I will observe the person in such a way they won't notice it. And I keep a distance until they breach it first; or I pull myself together and do it. (I mostly ignore the guys who are into me and I am not interested back.)
Sometimes confrontational.
Depends, rather rarely. This mostly applies to Gamma NTs. This is Pseudo-Aggressor behaviour, IME.
Sometimes bratty.
Again, not really. More applicable to Gamma types, and some SX E6 Deltas.
Many times flaky.
YES. Queen of flakiness.
Goes quiet and awkward at random.
Yep.
Tries to spank you.
No way, haha. This is totally off. If an IEI ever tried to spank you on their own account (without asking you first and being sure you like it... but even then, meh), they aren't IEI. More likely Aggressor or Gamma NT or a different type altogether.
Softness in the eyes behind composed mask.
Yeah.
Contacts you at random times during the night and then apologizes immediately after.
Hm, depends. I would not say no.
Sometimes acts cool to make it seem like they're not a dork but really are and want to be accepted for it.
Mostly yeah.

[Olimpia]

The way a typical IEI "shows" interest:

Like a shy person who somehow cannot make up their mind over what you mean to them and vice versa.

Sometimes they overcome their shyness and try to be charming as much as possible. If you are not being receptive then, they will go away to lick their wounds and are likely not coming back.
(Unless you make it clear you actually do want them.)

[ashlesha]

My experience: fawning expectant googly eyes and deference

[Olimpia]

My experience: fawning expectant googly eyes and deference

I was acting exactly this way when I was flirting with an ESI guy once, haha!

[blank]

Tries to spank you.
No way, haha. This is totally off. If an IEI ever tried to spank you on their own account (without asking you first and being sure you like it... but even then, meh), they aren't IEI. More likely Aggressor or Gamma NT or a different type altogether.

Perhaps I was just projecting my desire to spank IEIs onto them. They do have such spankable asses I must admit.

[Olimpia]

Perhaps I was just projecting my desire to spank IEIs onto them. They do have such spankable asses I must admit.

Haha, that makes more sense.

[Pookie]

My experience: fawning expectant googly eyes and deference

Hah, yeah.

[summerprincess]

I usually am too scared to talk to guys I'm attracted to but a few times I have come right up to them and complimented their shirt or something. It usually doesn't work if I hit on guys first though, they tend to ignore me So I often just play it cool. Maybe when I come up to them first I seem too intense

[weirdleftovers]

I haven't liked anyone in over 6yrs, so . . .

Since I've only dated one SLE, I've always been more aggressive. I've initiated several relationships and was very unhappy in all of them. At this point in my life, I can't even imagine liking someone. So, if I liked someone, it would be news to me. Possibly my therapist would inform me of my liking another.

[summerprincess]

I will never approach them or talk to them. I will act like they don't exist while having a narrative like this in my head, lol. Of course this song was written by an IEI.



Usually I crush on really outgoing guys, so they will often initiate contact anyway. It's very rare that I get crushes, though. I have not had one in years, I kind of miss it.

I miss having crushes too :/ The curse of being picky I guess, at least for me lol

[blank]

They sneak a butthole poke while you aren't paying attention to them.

[Sol]

when IEI is interested, she provokes

[Sol]

Except you have a habit of typing SEE as IEI.

Either you think the described above is a trait of SEE and hence have bigger troubles with the typology than it seemed. Or you agree with me, but don't understand where the word "except" is appropriate to use.

IEI prefer be passive. So they provoke you to make actions. For example, they may choose more provoking dress, to use nonverbal ways to look more attractive for you, etc.

If your type is Se, as I assumed by your photo, then it's expected for you to systematically type IEIs as Se types. Thanks for the new argument against your selftyping.

[darya]

Not true. I've done stuff like this (though rare) when I'm feeling unusually bold. Both to strangers (that I don't have feelings for) and guys I'm hanging out with. I'm definitely no aggressor or gamma NT. I'm just an irl troll sometimes.

Also, if I have a bf, they will get spanked and groped. It's just going to happen because I'm basically a man.

Agreed, IEI's can certainly do that, its not like they are unicorn fairies with zero assertiveness it's like some people here have never actually socialized with actual people.

[darya]

Either you think the described above is a trait of SEE and hence have bigger troubles with the typology than it seemed. Or you agree with me, but don't understand where the word "except" is appropriate to use.

IEI prefer be passive. So they provoke you to make actions. For example, they may choose more provoking dress, to use nonverbal ways to look more attractive for you, etc.

If your type is Se, as I assumed by your photo, then it's expected for you to systematically type IEIs as Se types. Thanks for the new argument against your selftyping.

Starfall is an obvious IEI. Anybody who types Tila Tequila as IEI has zero credibility.