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Thread: IEIs/INFps behavior when attracted to someone

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    Default IEIs/INFps behavior when attracted to someone

    Haha sorry, for ANOTHER thread on IEI loving. !

    But I really need your help

    How does an IEI act when they are attracted to someone?

    How do they act when they love someone?

    I know that I am one, LOL but different IEIs and all...I can't work it out .

    Should I give examples for psych 101ing?

    :redface:

    Thankyou!

    Edit;
    Seriously. Aha, how'd you know if they are playing head games or for real?
    Last edited by dinki; 10-29-2009 at 12:53 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
    Depends in what way I like someone.... Not that I'm out there looking for love anymore, but back when I was, I think this is how I acted:

    If I was "only" sexually attracted, I used to pretend to be SLE, and tried to impress him. I'd often make the first step, and be a lot more active and aggressive than I normally am.

    If I just "liked" someone, but weren't really interested in anything more than to be liked back, I'd try to be "my best". Normal. And loveable. But I'd dogde any invitations from his side by talking it away.

    If I was in love, I often went a bit more quiet. But relaxed. All focus on him, not on me, so I lost the self awareness I usually have/had. I bet I could sit and stare for hours. Or even close my eyes and just be in the moment. And I almost became a bit passive. And somehow dreamy. Or so happy I felt sad. Maybe naive, even? And when I spoke to them, I ended up expressing my surprise at the feelings I had completely honestly by saying really strange things like "I hear music in my head when I meet you" or "I feel like I'm floating in a beautiful city made of glass and crystal when we are together".
    Yikes, I get that feeling too ^. Lol aww, that's so sweet .

    Well we don't say that to each other, but we often say sentimental things... He will say, how we have an amazing connection and that he can't go a day without talking to me. He's always saying things like; I came back to school just to talk to you.

    Last edited by dinki; 05-15-2009 at 03:10 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
    If I was "only" sexually attracted, I used to pretend to be SLE, and tried to impress him. I'd often make the first step, and be a lot more active and aggressive than I normally am.
    Hmmh, I've gotten that from NiFe's. They have been like SeFi's, except more emotionally demanding. I've just haven't trusted that they are serious at all. So I have interpreted that as that they either joking or trying to get me to tell them that they are hot to feed their ego.
    ...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.

    INTp

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
    I think all people (women in particular) when young and/or immature, look for others to feed their egos, only the way it's done differs from type to type.
    Yeah, that might have been the case, or might have been not. I mean that type of impressions I get from girls are probably worth nothing, and probably have no bearing whatsover with what they were actually feeling and what they motivations were. I just interpet that type of things how it seems "safest" for me. I see many options what it could be, but that "safe" option is what I decide it to be.
    Last edited by Warlord; 05-15-2009 at 06:52 PM.
    ...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.

    INTp

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    LOL.

    meh at this. I know I want the SLE now. But I will most likely change my mind tommorow. ha.

    I really did think I was falling in love, but I just don't know anymore.

    :tongue:
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    Mystifying.

    How can you not know when you're falling in love?

    Srs question.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    How can you not know when you're falling in love?
    You could be falling in limerence.

    Signs you may have a severe case of limerance: heart palpitations, trembling and weakness deep in your body's epicenter, the chest. When the object of your limerance is in close proximity, you're filled with hope and uncertainty. You neglect other things, like your friends, work and hygiene. Your senses are heightened; You can suddenly hear dogs barking in Canada. In times of mutuality, you're filled with ecstasy. And in times of rejection, complete despair and ice cream-related weight gain.

    Though often dismissed as "having a crush," limerance cannot be confused as love or a crush. Crushes are fleeting, sparked by physical attraction. Love takes longer to develop, and occurs after knowing a person for who they are, not who you build them up to be.

    Limerance is a game, sustained by hope and fear and uncertainty. To win is to strategize — leaving the other guessing and wanting more. To lose is to be honest about how you feel. The less interested your limerant lover is, the more you want them, and the very mystery and indifference that characterizes your relationship is ultimately what destroys it.

    By the end of the summer, I realized I had more conversations with my limerant lover in my head than in real life. What I fell in love with wasn't him, but instead the idea of him, and the desire to win him over.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence
    Quote Originally Posted by Agee The Great View Post
    Nobody here...besides me, seems to know what SLE is except for maybe Maritsa.

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    True.

    I suppose it's an Alpha thing to lump the two together.

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    I think it's a human thing.
    Quote Originally Posted by Agee The Great View Post
    Nobody here...besides me, seems to know what SLE is except for maybe Maritsa.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    Mystifying.

    How can you not know when you're falling in love?

    Srs question.
    How do you know Gulanzon?

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    It's that anxious, clenchy feeling. It's hard to miss.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    It's that anxious, clenchy feeling. It's hard to miss.
    Couldn't those signs also be associated with infatuation? What's the difference?

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    That's a good question.

    The answer is, "I can never tell at first, but one winds up lasting, and the other doesn't."

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    Seriously. How do you tell if they are playing head games or if they are actually into you haha?

    Like say, if you were 'friends'?
    IEI, sp/sx 4w3.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ollobollo View Post
    I'm interested in this, too. I can't quite figure out a nice probable IEI I know. I've had long and deep conversations with her online, but IRL, it's a mix between having short conversations and her seemingly ignoring me (won't look at me when I try to gain eye contact).

    Feelings aren't easy. *sigh*


    Lol, I would say she likes you...but as if I know.

    - Ignores you because she doesn't want you.
    - Ignores you because she's wicked into you and needs you to initiate.
    - Ignores you because she knows you're into her and hasn't made her mind up yet.

    I do all of the above.

    Take your pick =/
    Last edited by dinki; 10-29-2009 at 01:32 AM.
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    Ignores you.
    Sometimes confrontational.
    Sometimes bratty.
    Many times flaky.
    Goes quiet and awkward at random.
    Tries to spank you.
    Softness in the eyes behind composed mask.
    Contacts you at random times during the night and then apologizes immediately after.
    Sometimes acts cool to make it seem like they're not a dork but really are and want to be accepted for it.
    Other weird shit.

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    They are lenient in their demands and requests, they create an atmosphere of nonjudgemental enjoyment. Uninhibited.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

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    Ignores you.
    Yes, I do that, to an extent. Not always, though. I will observe the person in such a way they won't notice it. And I keep a distance until they breach it first; or I pull myself together and do it. (I mostly ignore the guys who are into me and I am not interested back.)
    Sometimes confrontational.
    Depends, rather rarely. This mostly applies to Gamma NTs. This is Pseudo-Aggressor behaviour, IME.
    Sometimes bratty.
    Again, not really. More applicable to Gamma types, and some SX E6 Deltas.
    Many times flaky.
    YES. Queen of flakiness.
    Goes quiet and awkward at random.
    Yep.
    Tries to spank you.
    No way, haha. This is totally off. If an IEI ever tried to spank you on their own account (without asking you first and being sure you like it... but even then, meh), they aren't IEI. More likely Aggressor or Gamma NT or a different type altogether.
    Softness in the eyes behind composed mask.
    Yeah.
    Contacts you at random times during the night and then apologizes immediately after.
    Hm, depends. I would not say no.
    Sometimes acts cool to make it seem like they're not a dork but really are and want to be accepted for it.
    Mostly yeah.
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    The way a typical IEI "shows" interest:

    Like a shy person who somehow cannot make up their mind over what you mean to them and vice versa.

    Sometimes they overcome their shyness and try to be charming as much as possible. If you are not being receptive then, they will go away to lick their wounds and are likely not coming back.
    (Unless you make it clear you actually do want them.)
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    My experience: fawning expectant googly eyes and deference
    Hitta: lungs is like a reverse tootsie roll pop
    Hitta: sticky elastic external persona... strong core
    Hitta: or a bukkake girl

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    My experience: fawning expectant googly eyes and deference
    I was acting exactly this way when I was flirting with an ESI guy once, haha!
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    Quote Originally Posted by SisOfNight View Post
    Tries to spank you.
    No way, haha. This is totally off. If an IEI ever tried to spank you on their own account (without asking you first and being sure you like it... but even then, meh), they aren't IEI. More likely Aggressor or Gamma NT or a different type altogether.
    Perhaps I was just projecting my desire to spank IEIs onto them. They do have such spankable asses I must admit.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tonka View Post
    Perhaps I was just projecting my desire to spank IEIs onto them. They do have such spankable asses I must admit.
    Haha, that makes more sense.
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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    My experience: fawning expectant googly eyes and deference
    Hah, yeah.
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If it’s a disease, it’s nobody’s fault. Yay empiricism.

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    I usually am too scared to talk to guys I'm attracted to but a few times I have come right up to them and complimented their shirt or something. It usually doesn't work if I hit on guys first though, they tend to ignore me So I often just play it cool. Maybe when I come up to them first I seem too intense

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    I haven't liked anyone in over 6yrs, so . . .

    Since I've only dated one SLE, I've always been more aggressive. I've initiated several relationships and was very unhappy in all of them. At this point in my life, I can't even imagine liking someone. So, if I liked someone, it would be news to me. Possibly my therapist would inform me of my liking another.
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    ...
    "From their lives, and not least from their greatest fault--their inability to communicate--we may understand one of the greatest errors of our civilization, that is, the superstitious belief in verbal statements, the boundless overestimation of instruction by means of words and methods."--C.G. Jung on the introverted irrational types

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    I will never approach them or talk to them. I will act like they don't exist while having a narrative like this in my head, lol. Of course this song was written by an IEI.



    Usually I crush on really outgoing guys, so they will often initiate contact anyway. It's very rare that I get crushes, though. I have not had one in years, I kind of miss it.
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    betas should be kept in zoos for children to stare and throw pop corn at.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    I will never approach them or talk to them. I will act like they don't exist while having a narrative like this in my head, lol. Of course this song was written by an IEI.



    Usually I crush on really outgoing guys, so they will often initiate contact anyway. It's very rare that I get crushes, though. I have not had one in years, I kind of miss it.
    I miss having crushes too :/ The curse of being picky I guess, at least for me lol

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    They sneak a butthole poke while you aren't paying attention to them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SisOfNight View Post
    .
    [/B]No way, haha. This is totally off. If an IEI ever tried to spank you on their own account (without asking you first and being sure you like it... but even then, meh), they aren't IEI. More likely Aggressor or Gamma NT or a different type altogether.
    Not true. I've done stuff like this (though rare) when I'm feeling unusually bold. Both to strangers (that I don't have feelings for) and guys I'm hanging out with. I'm definitely no aggressor or gamma NT. I'm just an irl troll sometimes.

    Also, if I have a bf, they will get spanked and groped. It's just going to happen because I'm basically a man.
    Last edited by Starfall; 07-10-2016 at 10:42 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    betas should be kept in zoos for children to stare and throw pop corn at.

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    when IEI is interested, she provokes

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    when IEI is interested, she provokes
    Except you have a habit of typing SEE as IEI.
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    betas should be kept in zoos for children to stare and throw pop corn at.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    Except you have a habit of typing SEE as IEI.
    Either you think the described above is a trait of SEE and hence have bigger troubles with the typology than it seemed. Or you agree with me, but don't understand where the word "except" is appropriate to use.

    IEI prefer be passive. So they provoke you to make actions. For example, they may choose more provoking dress, to use nonverbal ways to look more attractive for you, etc.

    If your type is Se, as I assumed by your photo, then it's expected for you to systematically type IEIs as Se types. Thanks for the new argument against your selftyping.
    Last edited by Sol; 07-10-2016 at 12:32 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    Not true. I've done stuff like this (though rare) when I'm feeling unusually bold. Both to strangers (that I don't have feelings for) and guys I'm hanging out with. I'm definitely no aggressor or gamma NT. I'm just an irl troll sometimes.

    Also, if I have a bf, they will get spanked and groped. It's just going to happen because I'm basically a man.
    Agreed, IEI's can certainly do that, its not like they are unicorn fairies with zero assertiveness it's like some people here have never actually socialized with actual people.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    Either you think the described above is a trait of SEE and hence have bigger troubles with the typology than it seemed. Or you agree with me, but don't understand where the word "except" is appropriate to use.

    IEI prefer be passive. So they provoke you to make actions. For example, they may choose more provoking dress, to use nonverbal ways to look more attractive for you, etc.

    If your type is Se, as I assumed by your photo, then it's expected for you to systematically type IEIs as Se types. Thanks for the new argument against your selftyping.
    Starfall is an obvious IEI. Anybody who types Tila Tequila as IEI has zero credibility.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    Not true. I've done stuff like this (though rare) when I'm feeling unusually bold. Both to strangers (that I don't have feelings for) and guys I'm hanging out with. I'm definitely no aggressor or gamma NT. I'm just an irl troll sometimes.

    Also, if I have a bf, they will get spanked and groped. It's just going to happen because I'm basically a man.
    Jesus, now I know the type of every girl who snuck up behind me at a concert, groped a handful of my bum and then scurried away before I could catch them in the act. Crafty IEIs, they are creeps.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    I will never approach them or talk to them. I will act like they don't exist while having a narrative like this in my head, lol. Of course this song was written by an IEI.



    Usually I crush on really outgoing guys, so they will often initiate contact anyway. It's very rare that I get crushes, though. I have not had one in years, I kind of miss it.
    Exactly this! With the song as well, of course.
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    I'll notice, Fay's type is IEI indeed. So what she says about this type's behavior is especially interesting.
    Similarly is with Aylen, which would could gladden us with another 1-2 megabytes of text.

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    its going to be different for people because some are really shy and some are brave.
    Usually im really shy and avoids the person haha until we establish a connection ill just try to flirt subtly in texts or something.
    But after a while if im brave, ill say something to break the ice, and provoke them like SOl said. Sneak in sex in the conversation too, and be a little more demanding and tease them to see if they can 'handle me' and, i think its just fun. If the person seems less interested then, then hes not for me. and i'll be very honest about stuff.
    And if the person im interested in seems to avoid me my feelings go down and i ask myself do i really like this person? Then when he comes back im like yep i do.
    Last edited by Ghost; 09-08-2016 at 07:11 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    I'll notice, Fay's type is IEI indeed. So what she says about this type's behavior is especially interesting.
    Similarly is with Aylen, which would could gladden us with another 1-2 megabytes of text.
    I will make you buy the book.

    I am not going to share in this thread. I can just smile and nod when I read something I relate to.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     






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