Signs you may have a severe case of limerance: heart palpitations, trembling and weakness deep in your body's epicenter, the chest. When the object of your limerance is in close proximity, you're filled with hope and uncertainty. You neglect other things, like your friends, work and hygiene. Your senses are heightened; You can suddenly hear dogs barking in Canada. In times of mutuality, you're filled with ecstasy. And in times of rejection, complete despair and ice cream-related weight gain.
Though often dismissed as "having a crush," limerance cannot be confused as love or a crush. Crushes are fleeting, sparked by physical attraction. Love takes longer to develop, and occurs after knowing a person for who they are, not who you build them up to be.
Limerance is a game, sustained by hope and fear and uncertainty. To win is to strategize — leaving the other guessing and wanting more. To lose is to be honest about how you feel. The less interested your limerant lover is, the more you want them, and the very mystery and indifference that characterizes your relationship is ultimately what destroys it.
By the end of the summer, I realized I had more conversations with my limerant lover in my head than in real life. What I fell in love with wasn't him, but instead the idea of him, and the desire to win him over.