My mother is ESE, is your mother ESE?

[Logos]

It seems about 50% of the forum members has an ESE mom... What's the reason for this abundance of ESE mothers? Are there a lot of mistyped mothers out there, since ESEs SEEM to be the stereotypical mothers, making good food and being caregivers? Or are ESE mothers maybe the reason people ended up in this place, gone nuts after years of constant criticism? Or are personality types genetic (ESE moms get IEI kids more often, etc...)? Or is it all just a coincidence?

Discuss.

Probably. That said, my mother is an EIE.

[crazedrat]

that or ESEs fuck their kids up the most

[Logos]

that or ESEs fuck their kids up the most

That's something of an irrational conclusion to jump to.

I thought so too, for a while, but then I started to discuss the relationship IEIs have with their ESE moms, and the experiences are RIDICULOUSLY similar. Conflicts/emotional manipulation (ESE moms telling IEI kids they are too "in their minds" and should start "caring about other people") and lack of "unconditional" love (ESEs, ime, often want to be told how nice they are when they do things for you, and if you don't tell them it was nice, or even dare complain about them intruding, then you are told you are an egoist and what not), etc. etc. So... I think a lot here actually DO have ESE mothers...

Nope. As it just so happens, I also had an ESE doting-grandmother, and what you are describing never surfaced with my ESE grandmother or too many other ESEs I knew. I was never criticized for being "in my mind," which is precisely where I spend most of my time. When I tell ESEs to give me room for "intruding" they will usually back off and give me enough space. My grandmother never felt like she had to be told that she was nice when she did something for you. Neither did other ESEs I know. They wanted to be useful, but not necessarily be nice. In fact, I frequently find myself having to tell my grandmother to stop trying to do too much for me. My EIE does, however, complain that she does things for the family that go by unappreciated or unthanked. I am also unable to think of a single instance in which a single ESE I have met talked about the lack of unconditional love in any context. I have separately received a talk about it from my old EII and IEE college roommates.

[FDG]

No

[1981slater]

Almost, my mom is EIE and my dad is an ISTj. ESFp sis.
Stereotypes are all over.
Wall street brokers are LIE. Fat men are ILI Te. Slim men are ILI Ni.
Dogs are Ej and cats are Ip. Germans are ISTj, as well as Japanese adults.
Japanese guys are ILEs, and Japanese girls are SEIs.
Prisons are full of beta STs, and SLIs are construction workers. LSE are restless. EII are moralists, as well as ESIs. There is a difference, ESIs can draw. Gays are usually IEI and lesbians are usually delta. Robots can be ESI (Robocop), SLI (Terminator Schwarzenegger) or LSI (Terminator T1000). Mad scientists are ILEs...
ESEs have short and wide fingers and usually break everything you lend them.

[Creepy-Cyclops]

I think most of the people who post here are middle class adolescents who can afford the time to look for things which are 'wrong' with them, such as (for instance) it was their moms fault.

I don't know if the need to post here for such individuals will be required as much once they work full time and immerse themselves in such a lifestyle. Independence clears up many superficial parental relationship issues.

But for yourself mimosa, i've heard it's typical for 4's to see their parental upbringing as unstable or non-conducive, or something along those lines.

Oh, my mom isn't ESE. I would say that they make good moms, but often not good partners, they offer protection to their children but typically complain too much to their hubbies. They want everything to be perfect, but they aren't prepared to wait for it!

[Logos]

You just confirmed what I said - that the WAY IEIs describe their relationship with their ESE mothers, can't be anything but a description of IEI-ESE relationship. It's not the typical way of describing ESEs, but it's the way IEIs will typically describe ESEs, so I'm pretty sure a lot of IEIs in here actually talk about ESEs when they describe their relationships with their mothers. In other words, it's normal that you - who are not IEI - would describe ESEs differently.

IEIs are not the only types who claim to have ESE mothers on this forum.

When my mother criticized me for "being in my mind" she was probably criticizing and not the "being in my mind". Since you are not -ego, it is normal you didn't have that problem.

Also, my ESE mother would do things WITHOUT asking first, thinking I'd be happy. However, I felt she was intruding on my personal life, and I felt terribly offended when she did it, so I often got annoyed with her, and said things like "do you really think I'm so stupid I can't do that myself? Please keep your nose out of my business." Then she would go "you are such an egoist. I did all this for you, and now you complain". I'd say that is another typical IEI-ESE intertype relation misunderstanding. Or vicitm-caregiver, even. Since you are not a victim, of course this problem would not be typical in your relationships with ESEs.

So did my EIE mother. You keep categorically dismissing what I say about my experiences with "since you are (not) X" then this does not really apply to you. Stop it.

And unconditional love: It is ME saying it feels as though ESEs do not love people unconditionally. I am certain they would not agree.

You seem to be certain about a lot things in this thread. I wonder how much of the things you are so certain about are actually correct?

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[Jarno]

I've got an ESI mother.

I remember a thread similar to this one, claiming everyone had an ESI mother. Sooo it's a bit of a 'confirmation bias' thing I guess.

[marooned]

that thread is here.

As for my mother, it's getting to the point where I can't really see anything other than ESE making sense. But I'm still thinking, because it's also interesting that she's rather different from someone I work with who I think is ESE. I think my mom's E6 and the person I work with is E2, so I've thought about that as well.

I do think there are a lot of Ni leading people on this forum and Ni leading when complaining about other types might naturally complain about supervisees and conflictors the most.

Also, "mothers" often have to assume certain roles to provide for their children. So maybe ESE (and perhaps other SF types) are easy fits even if ones mother isn't those types... sort of like how women who are mothers can misidentify themselves with E2 (when they aren't E2) because of their role as mother/caregiver/provider/helper.

[ArchonAlarion]

My mother is Fe ESFj and if not then Fe ENFj.

I am 100% certain of Fe EJ

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[1981slater]

Why don't you vote in the poll as "No"?

I dunno

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[Banana Pancakes]

Mine is LIE.

I'd kill to do it over again with an ESE.

[Mattie]

My mother is SeFi. I believe my grandmother is FeSi, but because of this questioning of FeSi being a stereotype for mothers, I'm trying to see if I'm falling into that, and it's possible she's TeSi instead.

[marooned]

What's your type, Loki?

It's in re-evaluation pending life experience? lol

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[anndelise]

..[]..
Stereotypes are all over.
..[]..
Dogs are Ej and cats are Ip.
..[]..

My now dead dog was SiFe I'm pretty sure, just without the whole hidden agenda and such, lol.
My current dog I swear is SeFi.
One cat acts like every NiFe I've known...the good parts. Maybe it's just because he's so darned intelligent and helpful. He'll watch me train another animal. If the animal doesn't grasp what's wanted, he jumps down to show them once or twice, and then goes back to watching. No need to work with him directly, he picks it up as I work with the other animals. But every once in a while he gets that special infp pushiness attitude. If it wasn't so annoying, it'd be cute, actually.
The youngest cat...can't seem to type her. Whatever she is, she sure knows how to play the attachment and care-needing card. She's got the infp cat, the esfp dog, and the isfp and enfp humans spoiling her rotten, even though we know she's just using us to get her own needs/wants met. But for those moments when she's giving you her attention, you feel completely and utterly special. And she's got a very high prey drive. Oh, and she fetches...but only a certain crinkly ball, nothing else. Oh, and she forgives easily too.

Uh..what was the OP??
oh yeah, it was mom's, not pets...

My mom is FiNe.
My step-mother was FiSe.
My daughter's mom is NeFi.
Her step-mother is Beta or Gamma J. Se>Ni or possibly T.
We think my grandmother was possibly Beta J. First impulse is to say FeNi.

[Slacker]

My mother is LIE.

[Ezra]

Potentially. Initially I typed her as ESE, but then I had a little chat with her, and IEE is plausible. I can't seem to differentiate between these two types though (at least not in the context of my mother).