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Thread: Examples and stories of "childlike" romancing style

  1. #1
    Creepy-male

    Default Examples and stories of "childlike" romancing style

    tend to try to attract partner's interest with joking, goofy or even "strange" behavior
    What does this mean? Any anecdotes? Halp.

    • try to help partner see the unexpected and fun side of things
    • interest is maintained or cools off according to partner's response to this behavior
    • appreciation for partner who actively cares for the individual's comfort and daily needs


    This romance style is defined by focus on which is static, irrational, and extroverted, with perceptions focused on possibilities and alternatives to the static present reality, which the individual perceives as intrinsically boring and stagnant. This means that an Infantile sees attraction between two individuals as a static state, also from the point of view of the other person, which he tries to "get moving" by actively thinking of variations of the present static state. This accounts for an Infantile's inclination to focus on the mutual attraction, or particularly the attraction felt by the other person, as connected to that person's being exposed to the unexpected, imaginative, fun, even "weird" side of life, reality, and each other, a behavior that can be described as "childlike". This focus leads to a sort of helplessness regarding his own physical well-being as perceived by , so he welcomes help from others in that area.
    Examples? Anecdotes? Mental snapshots? Extra-relevant bits in bold.

    Halp!

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    The whole static attraction thing gets me into trouble. If I like someone, I like her, and it's pretty constant. I let her know and if she doesn't seem interested I assume she never will be and I move on.

    When around someone I'm attracted to in groups, I typically will do goofy things and act extra strange hoping she is watching.

    Basically just trying to inspire some and later some , since I suX0rz at the whole relationship thing.
    ILE-Ti
    6w7 sx/sp (low level of confidence)

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    A mixture of mischief, curiosity, helplessness, and basically sillyness.

    Like, sometimes I feel like the only weapon in my romantic arsenal is making people laugh. I do that pretty well.

    That and basically crying out for personal caregiving.

    Like I originally mistook this for Si super-ego and people still mistake it for that.

    But its basically just a cry for help.
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    Meanwhile, back in the land of English...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    Meanwhile, back in the land of English...
    you want English?

    "I suck at life and have no idea what's going on. Please nurture me."
    ILE-Ti
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    o>

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    maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
    maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
    go ask the frog what the scorpion knows

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    Maybe a little off-topic, but...

    What about -Infantiles is so attractive (if at all) to -Caregivers?

    Seems to me that drowning an -ego in "the unexpected, imaginative, fun, even 'weird' side of life" would drive them insane.

    To any Caregivers out there, do you find -love some oddly appealing turn-on, or attention-desperate and obnoxious? Do you want to be yanked out of "static present reality," or would you rather we grow up, shape up, shut up?

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    Pretend like it's the weekend Banana Pancakes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CILi View Post
    Maybe a little off-topic, but...

    What about -Infantiles is so attractive (if at all) to -Caregivers?

    Seems to me that drowning an -ego in "the unexpected, imaginative, fun, even 'weird' side of life" would drive them insane.

    To any Caregivers out there, do you find -love some oddly appealing turn-on, or attention-desperate and obnoxious? Do you want to be yanked out of "static present reality," or would you rather we grow up, shape up, shut up?
    I think they just want someone to appreciate their constant, excessive affection.

    Plus doesn't it get kind of boring being Si all the time? They need someone to shake things up a bit and create some disasters for them to stabilize.
    ILE-Ti
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  10. #10
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    Probably related to being 9wDoormat, but that last time I tried to engage a relationship with another caregiver, it was sort of crappy. 80% because I sort of got shoved off into "That's Gul, he's my Moral Support man" land.

    I imagine an Infantile would just burst through some sort of nearby breakable surface and scream out FUCK THAT SHIT and deliver a killer solo on a trumpet made out of hollow vegetables or something. So, yeah.

    I guess my point is that SEIs can dream too, sometimes..

    EDIT

    Quote Originally Posted by Banana Pancakes View Post
    I think they just want someone to appreciate their constant, excessive affection.

    Plus doesn't it get kind of boring being Si all the time? They need someone to shake things up a bit and create some disasters for them to stabilize.
    This. Yes. SFs go in for the whole fawnication thing (lolol see what I did there?). This would probably drive anyone but an Infantile insane.

    MORE IMPORTANT EDIT

    NOW THAT I AM SEI, AND A CAREGIVER, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, HER DUAL

    DOES THIS MEAN I CAN START HUGOSTALKING WERO AND WRITING HER CREEPY POETRY AND MAKING HER STRANGE KALEIDOSCOPING ARTWORKS?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    What does this mean? Any anecdotes? Halp.

    Examples? Anecdotes? Mental snapshots? Extra-relevant bits in bold.

    Halp!
    Hmm, what you quoted is very interesting... Enough to make me post .

    First of all, I wouldn't say that what you have in bold is necessarily applied only to "romance" (as in being in a relationship) in my case. That being said, I think I can provide some kind of input in the subject, especially the last part of the bold. I disagree in how physical well-being is related to the Si function, and then how Ne relates to "helplessness" in this area. I'm always disagreeing on how functions are related to some sort of "helplessness" in another area, maybe as a way to make people feel important in society, since Xx function is described as "needed." I don't believe that a particular function is necessary for society, it just "is" and either you like it or hate it, doesn't have to do with survival. Honestly, I cringe when I read things like A type needs B type for this and that, otherwise they are "helpless," or the whole duality thing. I know it sounds like something that could come from a bitter person (which I'm not), but I can't really explain how much that stuff makes me cringe...

    Also, going back to what is said about Ne and physical well-being, for one, I know that I am more fit than a lot of Si types. In no way I'm saying it to show off, but to point out something that I find to be misleading in that description. Si types accept reality as it is, at least what they perceive to be reality, and are readily able to conform to it. I don't see how Si is in any direct way related to physical well-being, other than how it relates to being more perceptive to it, which I believe is definitely true.

    Ok, so based on the above, and actually trying to answer what you are specifically asking for , I would say the following. Whenever I am in a situation where I feel like I want to "attract" people (as odd as that sounds) I will always try to crack a joke about something that either is analogous to what is being talked about at the moment, or something that has nothing to do with is being talked about. My approach to humor is to divert from the current topic, which might be boring (subjective) or just has been extended for too long, with something that in a way catches people off guard because they probably weren't thinking about it beforehand. I've found that with other Ne types, sometimes we can be thinking about the same thing, because we found the "analogy" or somehow naturally connected one thing to the other. So, jokes between us tend to be more readily understood than with other types, or can see where you are coming from. On the other hand, it sometimes fails with other people. For example, I was talking to this friend of mine on the phone and I asked him "what's up?" (I'm skipping the "hello" part because it's not necessary), and he told me that "he's been very busy." So I ask him "did you hide the body?" He just got very confused, so I had to explain the joke. At times it makes one look sort of foolish when you are "left hanging" because no one got wth you are talking about. In these moments you wonder if people consider you to be mentally ok.

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    I don't want romance, I only want to dance and enjoy a nice meal and rant about how FUCKED UP the world is. And then get throat fucked.

    *Shrug*

    Idk my family says I need a date. But I think the traditional dating method is kinda bogus and nothing more but a corporate money-sink.

    Le siiiiigh. I guess it's the only way to find out if a guy is non-sociopathic enough to bring back to your place to have animalistic sex with him.

    The Christians are right. I am evil. But I don't care. =)
    Last edited by bnd; 04-26-2009 at 07:30 AM.

  13. #13
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    BnD, you're a Victim.

    Why are you posting here? >=

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    <something> Wynch's Avatar
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    Constant, fawning attention makes me want to vomit all over the front of myself. I am like a cat. I want attention when I curl up in your lap, at which point you better give me love or I'll bite you. And then when I'm done I want to get up and do my thing, lol. Puppies give you constant, fawning attention, and puppies are bad! Cute, but quickly annoying.

    I think infantlist love (in the alpha sense) is best described as playful, light-hearted and organic. Partners want to give each other affection which is externally consumed: kind gestures, softly uplifting words, gifts, PDA. They want to be able to tease and find mischievous and creative ways to draw their partner's attention to them. They don't want formal boundaries in their relationship, rather they want everything to develop on it's own. Serious discussions about where a relationship is or where it's heading breaks down the comfort levels and the spontaneity of the couple.

    That's my summary of a few important details, imo.
    ILE
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    Vero, get out of Alpha >:

    j/k

    Thanks, guys. I've ruled out ILE again!

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    I know I'm a 'Victim.'

    Victims do things we know we're not supposed to do so others will tell us not to do them, cause we're victims. Duh.

    Your orders/commands will only make me stronger!

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    As a Beta, I want more serious discussions about where relationships are headed. I still like teasing/playful/aww cuteness too. But when all said is done, I need to know how you really feel about me. (In a specific way)

    Not to steal vero's thunder or anything. =p

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    it's settled, vero is a cat.
    ILE-Ti
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    Vero needs a SEI to fix her more like.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    Vero needs a SEI to fix her more like.
    you should pm stalk her.
    ILE-Ti
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  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Banana Pancakes View Post
    you should pm stalk her.
    I was thinking of mailing her Bee actually.

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    LMFAO.

    I wish I could give you a cosmic five stars for that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    Vero needs a SEI to fix her more like.
    Not if fixing me means giving me constant yucky attention. Boys have coodies, don't you know?
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    I think we've gotten superid mixed in with infantilism...

    "Affection which is externally consumed"?



    LII-Ne

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    The Ne partner tries to change the current state of the relationship with fun, unexpected, imaginative behavior, which can be seen as childlike. Also, the Ne partner is often helpless to maintain his/her physical surroundings and well-being, and that need for caretaking from an Si partner can also be seen as childlike.
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    As far as anecdotes go, I can be moody - sometimes in a good way and sometimes in a bad way - but my husband (SLI) has a hard time guessing how I'll act one day to the next, and I know he thinks it's amusing. And when I'm in a bad mood, the only thing that seems to get me out of it is caretaking behavior - having my physical needs taken care of in a pleasant way. So he will go out and get me my favorite soup from this restaurant near us, or something like that.

    Another example is in the gifts we get each other. I get him fun gifts - things that are seldom practical. I should add that he doesn't like us to spend much, so we get inexpensive gifts. But, like, this year for his birthday I got him a really cool kite that is made to look like his favorite kind of airplane. (Yes, he has a favorite kind of airplane.) But for my birthday, he got me a gift certificate to a local spa. Those are typical of gifts we get for each other.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brilliand View Post
    I think we've gotten superid mixed in with infantilism...

    "Affection which is externally consumed"?
    NB: I specified that I was talking about alphas.
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    I had words here once, but I didn't feed them Khola's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    I was thinking of mailing her Bee actually.
    I fit in most overhead storage compartments
    Hello, my name is Bee. Pleased to meet you .



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    Still not eating enough, eh?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Khola View Post
    I fit in most overhead storage compartments
    lollerskates
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    Meh.

    Ne-infantilism can be severely diminished by a static field element.
    And I like it better that way.

    Having a Naughty Nancy between the sheets can be a silly little pleasure every once in a while, but I prefer someone who stops being so fucking silly long enough to be sensual.

    Also, guys with super fucking high amounts of bullshit infantilism (in other than romantic situations, obviously) is probably one of the most annoying things in the world, and it basically makes me sick.

    I hate you Jake.
    Wond'ring aloud, How we feel today. Last night sipped the sunset, My hand in her hair. We are our own saviours, As we start both our hearts, Beating life Into each other. ~Ian Anderson

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    Tom should go back to being LSI :3

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    I think SlackerMom has now given the Delta side of the story, so we have all of Ne base covered.



    LII-Ne

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    I had words here once, but I didn't feed them Khola's Avatar
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    All of your Ne base are belong to us <3
    Hello, my name is Bee. Pleased to meet you .



  35. #35
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    Seriously, Bee.

    You're an ILE.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Brilliand View Post
    I think SlackerMom has now given the Delta side of the story, so we have all of Ne base covered.
    Quote Originally Posted by Khola View Post
    All of your Ne base are belong to us <3
    EXACTLY what I was gonna say.

    I like bee a lot more because of this thread
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    Tom should go back to being LSI :3
    Agreed.

    Also, he clearly misses the difference between playfulness and playing dress-up.
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  38. #38
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    Dressing up?



    Mmmm...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    Seriously, Bee.

    You're an ILE.
    Lol, when I first joined this place however many years back, I came in convinced that I was ILE. But nah.......oh gosh now you are making wonder :S

    Quote Originally Posted by Banana Pancakes View Post
    EXACTLY what I was gonna say.

    I like bee a lot more because of this thread
    Yay! Love me!
    Hello, my name is Bee. Pleased to meet you .



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    Bee dont listen to Gul. Hes an Ne ENTp.

    Also Tom is just trying to be a manly macho 8. He likes my Ne and he knows it.
    OPERATION POOPLAIR

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