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Thread: Fe and "Mindless Chatter" & Ti and "Blowhardness"

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    Default Fe and "Mindless Chatter" & Ti and "Blowhardness"

    Do any of the other Fe-types identify with this? A lot of the time, I find myself engaged in mindless conversation with people, without even realizing it. It's like things will come out of my mouth just to keep the conversation going. Stupid things of no real substance, and in which I have no real investment. It's come to the point where I'm afraid I come across as superficial and shallow to most people I know.

    Interestingly, I've seen something similar described by SLEs and LSIs I know. The reason I thought of starting this thread was an LSI told me that he didn't feel like he really was as much of a blowhard as he thought he came across most of the time.
    "How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
    -- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

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    Could you define "blowhardness" please?
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    Everything has depth to it, everything. It depends on how far down the rabbit hole you wanna go. So you are judging yourself negatively as being 'too shallow' when really, it's impossible for anything to be shallow. Ni gives you underlyining meaning to whatever you want to focus it's attention to.

    You can't help but have substance, depth. Of course other people will notice this about you, and other people won't- depending on your mutual attraction to each other and how well they pick on subtle nuances.

    Every perception is valid. However the perception you have in relation to others seems a bit muddied. Relax, and stop judging yourself so much.

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    BnD... I now realize something about you.

    You wrote the level-up text in Oblivion.



    Uh, to contribute to the thread:

    Depends on who with. I know it's a bad idea for me to mix with SEIs, because we wind up just diverging on random anything chattering.

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    I know LSIs who are people-pleasers... I hate that shit (b/c I hate when I do, to be honest, so I tend to condemn the behavior like a hypocrite.) Dualized LSIs, I've found, are less insecure.

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    I don't know but I think the softest ISTj have stacking of So/Sx and people mistaken their Fe dual seeking as people pleasing, they can be tough after the initial period of Fe dual seeking, They are not dominant in a way where they will scream and act tough to intimidate you, I think those people are bullshit.
    Last edited by 07490; 04-22-2009 at 04:26 AM.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 07490 View Post
    I don't know but I think the softest ISTj have stacking of So/Sx and people mistaken their Fe dual seeking as people pleasing, they can be tough after the initial period of Fe dual seeking, They are not dominant in a way where they will scream and act tough to intimate you, I think those people are bullshit.
    Bceaues screaming and acting tough is so intimate

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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    Bceaues screaming and acting tough is so intimate
    I eat those people for breakfast.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 07490 View Post
    I eat those people for breakfast.
    and yet you still can't ask that lsi girl out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    and yet you still can't ask that lsi girl out.
    I hope love and romance was as easy as 1,2,3.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 07490 View Post
    I hope love and romance was as easy as 1,2,3.
    1. approach

    2. attract

    3. receive

    repeat.

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    merky is it true that if girls at the bars ask you to buy her a drink you would ask her to buy you a drink instead?
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 07490 View Post
    merky is it true that if girls at the bars ask you to buy her a drink you would ask her to buy you a drink instead?
    nah, i'd probably just walk away.

    if she's lucky i might say that she's cute.

    but then she might ask what that means.

    i usually talk to guys in bars. i don't really like cold approaches with girls. and most girls that'll approach me in a bar are lame.

    i've probably met just as many girls outside bars whilst drinking as inside them. and the girls that i have met in bars things have generally been less on a verbal level. it's more like "i can feel you".

    i'm actually really bad at chatting with girls in bars. i prefer to dance or play games.

    also it's really not what you should be focusing on. if you want to meet girls in a bar the first thing is isolation. which means deflecting any guys, .. and you may want to flirt with their friends a little bit, and "stumble" upon the best girl .. so that she's "valued", and doesn't have to worry about the other girls having better flirting abilities than her.

    then ask her what she's drinking. and then be like "i haven't had that before" and reach for the glass and be aware of her body language, and see if she's willing to allow you to take her glass from her, and then just drink some. then like pretend like you're going to spit it out and that it's gross, then be like .. "contemplating it for a while", then give an opinion whilst looking at her lips.

    and then you can be like "i bet you'd taste like that", and she'll probably be evasive and be like "taste like what" or osmethin, so you can be like "i know you know what i mean, and approach her,. and then she can deflect and be like she doesn't kiss guys she's just met. so you can be like i don't drink from other peoples glasses. and then if she smiles you smile, and then get behind her, speak in her .. something about would you like to take it slow, and if she spins around you to face you then kiss her. otherwise leave.

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    really, you have to look looking forward, and keep doing things to keep interactions progressing.

    if you focus on things like "i'm not going to buy her a drink", then she can be like "i'm not going to sleep with you", and then if you're a wuss you'll buy her a drink as if that may reverse what she just said.

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    numbers.. just be creative there are lots of angles.

    how about when a girl says that you can buy her a drink you take yoru hand hand put it on her waist and be like "i have a problem", and if she's what what's your problem, look down as i you're kind of ashamed then raise your head again, so that it's kind of obvious that you're not that bad about it.

    then be like "i have premature ejaculation", "you have to stop turning me on so much",.

    and then she can be like "i'm not turning you on", and you can be like "tell me about your job", and if she actually tries talking about her job. then after a while cut her short, and be like it's not working, i think we're just going to have to go through with it. and try and get her "on your side", "to keep you going", and be like "i thnik i'm going to burst", and by this time she should be silly and be like "you've overreacting", and you're not going to just start cumming. And you can be like "got you". Then hopefully she's open by then and you can take both her hands, and tell her to kiss you.

    if she delays at all, be like i haven't got time for this, and dorp one of the hands, and give her a slight tug/pull like you want to go somewhere, then when she's ilke where are we going .. you can be like .. to dance ...and she can be like "i don't dance", and then you can be liek "tonight you're going to dance", then if she ever tries saying anything like she's not very good don't respond, just keep moving....

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    anyawy, i'm not sure why i'm telling you this .. but i'm hoping you notice in this .. it's about esculating .. it's not about "not buying her a drink"...

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    also if she says something like you're very forward, then point at some guy sitting down, or in a bad interaction pattern or smoething, and be like "would you rather have him", and if she seems liek "she doesn't care" then be like "go over and chat with him", even if you get her to do that cos she's volatile and pissy, then she'll probably come back to you if you've been a better experience.

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    Do you remember the thread about Beta ST and how they touch potenial partner? I think that is a good way of getting laid in bars or one night stand or whatever if you are referring "how to get a one night stand". I think touching them while flirting says a lot if the girls wants it or not.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    also if she says something like you're very forward, then point at some guy sitting down, or in a bad interaction pattern or smoething, and be like "would you rather have him", and if she seems liek "she doesn't care" then be like "go over and chat with him", even if you get her to do that cos she's volatile and pissy, then she'll probably come back to you if you've been a better experience.
    I don't know about the rest of the part but I have been told many many times by many people that I am too striaght forward which makes them feel awkward, I believe most ISTj female thinks that way about me.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 07490 View Post
    I don't know about the rest of the part but I have been told many many times by many people that I am too striaght forward which makes them feel awkward, I believe most ISTj female thinks that way about me.
    girls like to dance .. draw it out a bit .. adn back off a little.

    and as much as it may look wussy to other guys .. saying you need to back thigns off a bit actually gets a pretty positive reception by girls generally...

    the idea generally speaking is that they should never feel satisfied, and like things are guaranteed .. you need that ambiguiity... like you're not quite sure if you'll go through with it .. cos she is a little young for you .. she's a little inexperienced .. you had in mind a whore that would be ready to suck yoru cock on command at a moment's notice. andwhen you have that attitude she'll ramp up a little.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    girls like to dance .. draw it out a bit .. adn back off a little.

    and as much as it may look wussy to other guys .. saying you need to back thigns off a bit actually gets a pretty positive reception by girls generally...

    the idea generally speaking is that they should never feel satisfied, and like things are guaranteed .. you need that ambiguiity... like you're not quite sure if you'll go through with it .. cos she is a little young for you .. she's a little inexperienced .. you had in mind a whore that would be ready to suck yoru cock on command at a moment's notice. andwhen you have that attitude she'll ramp up a little.
    I agree much with that. and suits my style
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

  22. #22
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    Could you define "mindless" please?
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

  23. #23
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    I think chatter that just sort of wanders and drifts without particularly going anywhere.

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