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Thread: Sexual Compatibility in the Quadras

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    Default Sexual Compatibility in the Quadras

    Sexual Compatibility in the Quadras

    I can speak in terms of myself,

    in the 2nd Quadra (Beta) the nature of sexual caresses is of different kind. They do not like feeble strokes, but tend to intense effect on the partner’s skin, which manifests in strong embraces, in squeezing each other. The Commander and The Inspector both being sensory types, are very jealous: just the thought of the partner’s infidelity may poison their life. It is not mere accident that William Shakespeare, The Mentor, colorfully described how Othello (The Inspector) squeezed Desdemona trying to kill her. Let us consider a real example: a married couple, students, The Inspector (husband) and The Mentor (wife), live in a dormitory. Since the wife is a sociable extravert, her husband is often jealous of her contacts with the neighbors. The scenes much resemble those described by Shakespeare: “Whom have you been with?” the husband asks and puts his hands onto the wife’s neck. She shrieks, and he gets scared and releases her.
    I think the bold are quite accurate, I always like it when Beta ST females touches me, I mean I like to be touch regardless, laugh out loud, but I find that alpha SF's touch is very freeble stroke, which either doesn't give me an intense effect or I would react in a very unsure way. When it comes to ESTps their touch seemed very intense and somehow when they do it I feel compel to want to do the same to them, when it comes to ISTj touching me, There is a certain feel to it that gives vibes around my whole body, it is unlike any kind of touch i have ever felt, even a lingering tickles of feeling of sensation felt throught my body. And that comes from an ISTj I have just met, and i was amazed...

    please share your sexual experiences with people around your Quadra.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    .

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    My mom who I think is highly identical to you in all aspect except for intelligence, hasn't touch me in a long time...
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    .

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    LMAO
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 07490 View Post
    Sexual Compatibility in the Quadras

    I can speak in terms of myself,



    I think the bold are quite accurate, I always like it when Beta ST females touches me, I mean I like to be touch regardless, laugh out loud, but I find that alpha SF's touch is very freeble stroke, which either doesn't give me an intense effect or I would react in a very unsure way. When it comes to ESTps their touch seemed very intense and somehow when they do it I feel compel to want to do the same to them, when it comes to ISTj touching me, There is a certain feel to it that gives vibes around my whole body, it is unlike any kind of touch i have ever felt, even a lingering tickles of feeling of sensation felt throught my body. And that comes from an ISTj I have just met, and i was amazed...

    please share your sexual experiences with people around your Quadra.
    LOL, you literally typed "laugh out loud." Amazing.

    Well I don't really want to get into any detail, being somewhat private by nature, but the Beta ST that I dated for a while was very forceful compared to the others. There were no, erm, "feeble strokes"...? So I guess I am just reinforcing what you are saying. I think it would make sense if it was somewhat type related (aggressor, victim, caregiver, infantile and all that).
    Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.
    John Muir

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    Many threads have already been started on this topic before. Basically, there was a consensus that verified Victor Gulenko's article on "Erotic Attitudes."

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    I wholeheartedly agree with this and now that I've been there and experienced it, I don't think I could go back. Gosh, I'm addicted to ESTp's now, yet am ESTp-less . And I'm not necessarily talking about sex here. It's every single experience of touch. I didn't realize how attracted I would be to it until I truly experienced it. The first time my ESTp ex kissed me, we were to the side on the dance floor, slow dancing. Then he does the whole I look up and he goes for a kiss thing and I turn my face to turn him down because I thought it ws too soon. So he asks "what, is it too soon?" and I nod. So after a couple of seconds he grabs my face with both of his hands and plants a huge one on me before I knew what hit me. lol <3 He had me pinned tight enough so that I couldn't get away, not that I would have gone anywhere! No one had ever kissed me like that before. I can't even begin to describe how big of a turn on that is to me. The confidence and boldness. Makes me feel wanted.

    We used to crack up laughing when I would playfully mock him about how rough he always was. Never gentle. And I used to love it. :frown:

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    Concerning Delta STs, they seem to both know exactly how to touch and at the same time unsure. It's really cute. I feel like they pick up on my signals, but they aren't confident enough in them, but once they notice me responding positively, they keep going. I consider them "rough" people who try to be gentle, which is a crazy amount of charming for me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sirena View Post
    I wholeheartedly agree with this and now that I've been there and experienced it, I don't think I could go back. Gosh, I'm addicted to ESTp's now, yet am ESTp-less . And I'm not necessarily talking about sex here. It's every single experience of touch. I didn't realize how attracted I would be to it until I truly experienced it. The first time my ESTp ex kissed me, we were to the side on the dance floor, slow dancing. Then he does the whole I look up and he goes for a kiss thing and I turn my face to turn him down because I thought it ws too soon. So he asks "what, is it too soon?" and I nod. So after a couple of seconds he grabs my face with both of his hands and plants a huge one on me before I knew what hit me. lol <3 He had me pinned tight enough so that I couldn't get away, not that I would have gone anywhere! No one had ever kissed me like that before. I can't even begin to describe how big of a turn on that is to me. The confidence and boldness. Makes me feel wanted.

    We used to crack up laughing when I would playfully mock him about how rough he always was. Never gentle. And I used to love it. :frown:
    oh wow
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Numbers, please go into greater detail about how your Mom touches you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JuJu View Post
    Numbers, please go into greater detail about how your Mom touches you.
    dot, dot, dot
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 07490 View Post
    oh wow
    hot, right! lol
    Quote Originally Posted by JuJu View Post
    Numbers, please go into greater detail about how your Mom touches you.
    lol please don't!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sirena View Post
    I wholeheartedly agree with this and now that I've been there and experienced it, I don't think I could go back. Gosh, I'm addicted to ESTp's now, yet am ESTp-less . And I'm not necessarily talking about sex here. It's every single experience of touch. I didn't realize how attracted I would be to it until I truly experienced it. The first time my ESTp ex kissed me, we were to the side on the dance floor, slow dancing. Then he does the whole I look up and he goes for a kiss thing and I turn my face to turn him down because I thought it ws too soon. So he asks "what, is it too soon?" and I nod. So after a couple of seconds he grabs my face with both of his hands and plants a huge one on me before I knew what hit me. lol <3 He had me pinned tight enough so that I couldn't get away, not that I would have gone anywhere! No one had ever kissed me like that before. I can't even begin to describe how big of a turn on that is to me. The confidence and boldness. Makes me feel wanted.
    Tbh, that would really bother me. I don't like surprises, I don't like someone disrespecting the boundaries I set, and I really don't like someone being confident in how far they can go with me. God, I'd probably react badly to something like that. “What made you think it was okay to do that??” And oh god, if he said it was because he could tell I wanted it—“I could read it in your body language”—or something… holyshit. I would be so pissed. lol.

    I don't know, I just want to establish things first. Don't assume you can act like this with me, or treat me like this, or that I want this or that. You'll find those things out after a while, and then you can act on them. But man, cocky guys who think they know what I want are in for a surprise.
    maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
    maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
    go ask the frog what the scorpion knows

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    Quote Originally Posted by Allie View Post
    Tbh, that would really bother me. I don't like surprises, I don't like someone disrespecting the boundaries I set, and I really don't like someone being confident in how far they can go with me. God, I'd probably react badly to something like that. “What made you think it was okay to do that??” And oh god, if he said it was because he could tell I wanted it—“I could read it in your body language”—or something… holyshit. I would be so pissed. lol.

    I don't know, I just want to establish things first. Don't assume you can act like this with me, or treat me like this, or that I want this or that. You'll find those things out after a while, and then you can act on them. But man, cocky guys who think they know what I want are in for a surprise.
    That's right: the right way to do it, would simply be to do it gently without asking, so that she can't get angry for the fact that she has said no
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by Allie View Post
    Tbh, that would really bother me. I don't like surprises, I don't like someone disrespecting the boundaries I set, and I really don't like someone being confident in how far they can go with me. God, I'd probably react badly to something like that. “What made you think it was okay to do that??” And oh god, if he said it was because he could tell I wanted it—“I could read it in your body language”—or something… holyshit. I would be so pissed. lol.

    I don't know, I just want to establish things first. Don't assume you can act like this with me, or treat me like this, or that I want this or that. You'll find those things out after a while, and then you can act on them. But man, cocky guys who think they know what I want are in for a surprise.
    I agree. I've never needed to slap a guy so far, but in that situation, I just might.

    However, the couple of ESTps I've gone out w/ were really respectful and I never had a problem. I went out w/ one once (and the conversation wasn't going well) and he started trying to sell himself by using Se...such as "girls like to be protected.I can protect you. If someone pinched your ass I would beat him up." This was during dinner...lol....and said w/o an ounce of kidding around. I was so uncomfortable...though I'm sure an INFp would have been like *swooon*. I was more like uh...luckily I don't live in the ghetto anymore and I've never had someone pinch my ass so I'm good, but thanks for the offer....
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Allie View Post
    Tbh, that would really bother me. I don't like surprises, I don't like someone disrespecting the boundaries I set, and I really don't like someone being confident in how far they can go with me. God, I'd probably react badly to something like that. “What made you think it was okay to do that??” And oh god, if he said it was because he could tell I wanted it—“I could read it in your body language”—or something… holyshit. I would be so pissed. lol.
    lol But it's a game, all a game. Things aren't that black and white for me. And I'm not saying it was all a big manipulative scheme on my part. Not at all! It's just that sometimes I need someone like that to help me decide I actually did want it all along. My "no" could mean I lack assertiveness or I'm over-thinking the consequences or whatever, so thank God for someone taking over and making shit happen! The point is that he did know I wanted it and that I needed him to act that way and he did.

    I'm not saying I would let anybody walk up to me and stick their tongue down my throat! lol

    But I do see how that wouldn't work for some people, Allie.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    I agree. I've never needed to slap a guy so far, but in that situation, I just might.

    However, the couple of ESTps I've gone out w/ were really respectful and I never had a problem. I went out w/ one once (and the conversation wasn't going well) and he started trying to sell himself by using Se...such as "girls like to be protected.I can protect you. If someone pinched your ass I would beat him up." This was during dinner...lol....and said w/o an ounce of kidding around. I was so uncomfortable...though I'm sure an INFp would have been like *swooon*. I was more like uh...luckily I don't live in the ghetto anymore and I've never had someone pinch my ass so I'm good, but thanks for the offer....
    LMAO!

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    Quote Originally Posted by glamourama View Post
    I wouldn't mind it at all. I probably would not be dancing with somebody whom I didn't want to kiss me in the first place.
    !!!!!!!!!!!!! <3<3

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    That's right: the right way to do it, would simply be to do it gently without asking, so that she can't get angry for the fact that she has said no
    Lol. Actually, that's sort of true.

    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    I agree. I've never needed to slap a guy so far, but in that situation, I just might.

    However, the couple of ESTps I've gone out w/ were really respectful and I never had a problem. I went out w/ one once (and the conversation wasn't going well) and he started trying to sell himself by using Se...such as "girls like to be protected.I can protect you. If someone pinched your ass I would beat him up." This was during dinner...lol....and said w/o an ounce of kidding around. I was so uncomfortable...though I'm sure an INFp would have been like *swooon*. I was more like uh...luckily I don't live in the ghetto anymore and I've never had someone pinch my ass so I'm good, but thanks for the offer....
    Ahahah. Yeah, it's kind of arrogant to me. Like, oh boy, are you going to be my big knight-in-shining-armor? Give me a break.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sirena View Post
    lol But it's a game, all a game. Things aren't that black and white for me. And I'm not saying it was all a big manipulative scheme on my part. Not at all! It's just that sometimes I need someone like that to help me decide I actually did want it all along. My "no" could mean I lack assertiveness or I'm over-thinking the consequences or whatever, so thank God for someone taking over and making shit happen! The point is that he did know I wanted it and that I needed him to act that way and he did.

    I'm not saying I would let anybody walk up to me and stick their tongue down my throat! lol

    But I do see how that wouldn't work for some people, Allie.
    I guess that's where we differ, because I always know whether I want something or not.

    Quote Originally Posted by glamourama View Post
    I wouldn't mind it at all. I probably would not be dancing with somebody whom I didn't want to kiss me in the first place.
    I'm sorry, but this just feels like “coffee = sex” mentality. Don't assume I want you just because I let you dance with me. K? lol
    maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
    maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
    go ask the frog what the scorpion knows

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    Quote Originally Posted by Allie View Post
    Tbh, that would really bother me. I don't like surprises, I don't like someone disrespecting the boundaries I set, and I really don't like someone being confident in how far they can go with me. God, I'd probably react badly to something like that. “What made you think it was okay to do that??” And oh god, if he said it was because he could tell I wanted it—“I could read it in your body language”—or something… holyshit. I would be so pissed. lol.

    I don't know, I just want to establish things first. Don't assume you can act like this with me, or treat me like this, or that I want this or that. You'll find those things out after a while, and then you can act on them. But man, cocky guys who think they know what I want are in for a surprise.
    Talking about it is what kills me. He actually asked if it was too soon and then went on and kissed her anyway? I would be pissed if he did that, but why even ask if you're going to do it anyway - it just makes it even worse, like you're openly contradicting the other person's wishes.

    I always know if I want it or not too and if I don't I have no problem saying so. I know girls that have ended up dating guys just because the guy was kind of sneaky about it and the girl was too passive to make much of a fuss out of it. Ugh, there seems to be this whole mentality about "getting girls" that certain guys have and I just absolutely hate it and will have nothing to do with it. Sirena's story just reminded me of guys that are like that I guess.
    Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.
    John Muir

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    Quote Originally Posted by calenwen View Post
    Talking about it is what kills me. He actually asked if it was too soon and then went on and kissed her anyway? I would be pissed if he did that, but why even ask if you're going to do it anyway - it just makes it even worse, like you're openly contradicting the other person's wishes.
    Yeah, there was something else annoying about it that I couldn't quite pinpoint and this is it. It feels like such a sloppy relationship too, hah. He asks, “Are we going too fast?” She says yes. Then he speeds it up and she allows it? She admits she wanted it anyway? He knew all along? I don't know, something about it bothers me.

    Quote Originally Posted by calenwen View Post
    I always know if I want it or not too and if I don't I have no problem saying so. I know girls that have ended up dating guys just because the guy was kind of sneaky about it and the girl was too passive to make much of a fuss out of it. Ugh, there seems to be this whole mentality about "getting girls" that certain guys have and I just absolutely hate it and will have nothing to do with it. Sirena's story just reminded me of guys that are like that I guess.
    I can't imagine “passively” dating someone. Is there also “passive” attraction and “passive” feelings to go with it? God, I don't get that. I can't be in relationships that I'm not emotionally committed to.
    maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
    maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
    go ask the frog what the scorpion knows

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    Quote Originally Posted by Allie View Post
    I guess that's where we differ, because I always know whether I want something or not.
    that's hot, Allie!

    I'm sorry, but this just feels like “coffee = sex” mentality. Don't assume I want you just because I let you dance with me. K? lol
    Nah, it doesn't work that way. It isn't as simple as action 1 leads to action 2. Come on! That would bore SLEs in 2 seconds. On the contrary, there is so much dynamic to it that makes it so fun, intriguing and exciting. We can be rather enigmatic and alluring, just naturally (meaning that it's not a purposeful "manipulation"). We dictate as much if not more because we hold the emotional thermostat. Don't think we just stand there the whole night like doormats lol. There are lots of signals going on, but they're all unspoken and dynamic. This is probably Fe vs. Fi valuing.

    Again, I'd like to stress this isn't a conscious thing. I know some people don't get it and are probably going to get a completely twisted picture of what I'm trying to describe and picture us as black widow spiders or something lol.

    Eh, I'm always disappointment with the product of my trying to explain what I'm thinking/feeling. I can never quite capture it. Oh well.

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    Quote Originally Posted by calenwen View Post
    Talking about it is what kills me. He actually asked if it was too soon and then went on and kissed her anyway? I would be pissed if he did that, but why even ask if you're going to do it anyway - it just makes it even worse, like you're openly contradicting the other person's wishes.

    I always know if I want it or not too and if I don't I have no problem saying so. I know girls that have ended up dating guys just because the guy was kind of sneaky about it and the girl was too passive to make much of a fuss out of it. Ugh, there seems to be this whole mentality about "getting girls" that certain guys have and I just absolutely hate it and will have nothing to do with it. Sirena's story just reminded me of guys that are like that I guess.
    Quote Originally Posted by Allie View Post
    Yeah, there was something else annoying about it that I couldn't quite pinpoint and this is it. It feels like such a sloppy relationship too, hah. He asks, “Are we going too fast?” She says yes. Then he speeds it up and she allows it? She admits she wanted it anyway? He knew all along? I don't know, something about it bothers me.


    I can't imagine “passively” dating someone. Is there also “passive” attraction and “passive” feelings to go with it? God, I don't get that. I can't be in relationships that I'm not emotionally committed to.
    I can't believe this is what you guys got from that. *sigh* Because that's so not it. Again, not doormats! :frown:

    Anyway, I'm tired....

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    Quote Originally Posted by Allie View Post

    I'm sorry, but this just feels like “coffee = sex” mentality. Don't assume I want you just because I let you dance with me. K? lol
    OMG LOL!! I've never heard of the coffee=sex mentality, but it sounds like it could be a new online dating site....coffeeEqualsSex.com "where that latte means he's taking you home latter..."

    I mean, if he buys you a mocha, really, what else could you expect?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sirena View Post
    Nah, it doesn't work that way. It isn't as simple as action 1 leads to action 2. Come on! That would bore SLEs in 2 seconds. On the contrary, there is so much dynamic to it that makes it so fun, intriguing and exciting. We can be rather enigmatic and alluring, just naturally (meaning that it's not a purposeful "manipulation"). We dictate as much if not more because we hold the emotional thermostat. Don't think we just stand there the whole night like doormats lol. There are lots of signals going on, but they're all unspoken and dynamic. This is probably Fe vs. Fi valuing.

    Again, I'd like to stress this isn't a conscious thing. I know some people don't get it and are probably going to get a completely twisted picture of what I'm trying to describe and picture us as black widow spiders or something lol.

    Eh, I'm always disappointment with the product of my trying to explain what I'm thinking/feeling. I can never quite capture it. Oh well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sirena View Post
    I can't believe this is what you guys got from that. *sigh* Because that's so not it. Again, not doormats! :frown:

    Anyway, I'm tired....
    No, I get what you mean. I just don't like it. I don't want someone going off of assumed, non-verbal cues. I don't really see the point in making a game out of it.

    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    OMG LOL!! I've never heard of the coffee=sex mentality, but it sounds like it could be a new online dating site....coffeeEqualsSex.com "where that latte means he's taking you home latter..."

    I mean, if he buys you a mocha, really, what else could you expect?
    Ahaha, it's so common though:

    BBC - The Editors: Guaranteed to divide

    Coffee’ doesn’t mean coffee! ‘Coffee’ means sex! Café Crem

    I think it's the same thing with prom. You know how it's like a common expectation for girls to “put out” on prom night? Ew, lol. “I bought you a corsage, do I get laid now??”
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    .

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    Fwiw, I agree with Diana and Sirena. It sounded like something you'd see in a movie or read in a 19th century novel. I don't understand why, whenever someone posts about liking any kind of male assertiveness, there are always these "sounds like rape"/"you are being held a prisoner!" comments. (not that these were necc. that bad, but you get the point.) I feel like if this were to happen IRL, almost everyone's reaction would be like "aww" or "that's hot."
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sirena View Post
    I can't believe this is what you guys got from that. *sigh* Because that's so not it. Again, not doormats! :frown:

    Anyway, I'm tired....
    Oh, sorry. My second comment had nothing to do with what you said, but rather was something that happened to a friend of mine. I guess the whole theme of "guy being assertive and girl going along with it" reminded me of that incident.
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    I think that the bad part in Sirena's story could be that she said no, then he proceeded nonetheless; whereas, just proceeding without asking would have been felt as less of a violation.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    OMG LOL!! I've never heard of the coffee=sex mentality, but it sounds like it could be a new online dating site....coffeeEqualsSex.com "where that latte means he's taking you home latter..."

    I mean, if he buys you a mocha, really, what else could you expect?
    Something like, .. Would you like an extra shot with your American-o?

    How'd you like your coffee? Straight and strong please.

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    You know both perceptions are true. We need the asshole that chokes the sensitive faggotry right out of us and spits in our worthless whore faces. And you also need the sensitive gay male-ish guy that shares your womanly politically correction on how we should all just get along and that we're just all one big happy family.

    Please stop debating which one is better or worse. It's not about that. You need both.

    Gender differences exist and the general stereotypes about everything ALWAYS holds true, but they are natural and more subtle than people realize. So don't get insecure over them OK?

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    Quote Originally Posted by BulletsAndDoves View Post
    You know both perceptions are true. We need the asshole that chokes the sensitive faggotry right out of us and spits in our worthless whore faces. And you also need the sensitive gay male-ish guy that shares your womanly politically correction on how we should all just get along and that we're just all one big happy family.

    Please stop debating which one is better or worse. It's not about that. You need both.

    Gender differences exist and the general stereotypes about everything ALWAYS holds true, but they are natural and more subtle than people realize. So don't get insecure over them OK?
    Hmm..you're such a fine specimen of manhood b&d. So...dominant

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    LMAO at this thread.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
    But I think I get Sirena, too, as it's ok to kiss if you KNOW the "no" was not really meant. However, if the "no" WAS meant, then I'd get very angry and disrespect the guy.... I'm difficult, I know.
    If you know the "no" was not really meant? And how can you prove that? I'm sure many rapists have been like "yeah the no totally wasn't meant." Do you know that they will still convict those guys? Is that a fair thing to do? The problem is girls really do have the power to change their minds and say it was rape, and if you said "no" there is a good chance he'll get convicted. It's a dangerous word to play around with.

    Also, if it really was rape and you were in a habit of telling the guy "no" in a teasing way, then it's even harder to prove it was rape.

    It seems like a bad situation to put yourself in to not be clear, also an unfair situation to put a guy in too. You might think you're on the same page w/ a guy only to find out you aren't.

    I'd say there are other ways to be coy, and with the laws being what they are, best to keep the "yes" and "no" words separate.

    I mean, people are free to do whatever they think is hot in private, but it's not fair to guys or girls to promote the idea that you can tease a guy w/ the word "no" just because you find it hot. That's just a really bad idea.
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    Sirena, I totally get the turn-on of that scenario.

    and, jewels, he didn't rape her, he kissed her. and she liked it. so no one's saying it's okay to say no and then be raped. he probably could tell that she was simply a little bit unsure rather than extremely opposed. SLEs aren't THAT dumb. lol (usually)
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    jewels .. the amount of date rape is high .. lots of guys expect girls to have sex with them if they take them out for dinner .. if they don't.. then they can punish them, or force them.

    it's life, deal with it. not every girl can stand up for herself.

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    btw.. fwiw it's been noted that i can take a lot from a little amount of affirmation .. and tend to like it when girls try and hide that they like me, where i have to kind of prove that they like me, like they can't deny it.

    for some reason lots of girls seem to like to diminish/reject me. some even before i've done anything.

    but it's okay, cos some girls will be positive about me without me doing anything too.

    but like for things like kissing .. it's obvious when a girl wants to be kissed .. but it's more fun if you don't kiss them ;P rub noses or something.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    jewels .. the amount of date rape is high .. lots of guys expect girls to have sex with them if they take them out for dinner .. if they don't.. then they can punish them, or force them.

    it's life, deal with it. not every girl can stand up for herself.
    Not every girl can stand up for herself? I disagree. Every girl has the ability to and also to not put herself in stupid situations.
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    Sirena, I totally get the turn-on of that scenario.

    and, jewels, he didn't rape her, he kissed her. and she liked it. so no one's saying it's okay to say no and then be raped. he probably could tell that she was simply a little bit unsure rather than extremely opposed. SLEs aren't THAT dumb. lol (usually)
    OK, let me re-write that and replace "drunk driving" with what you wrote.

    and, jewels, he didn't kill anyone when he drove home, he had four drinks and drove. and he liked it. so no one's saying it's okay to drive drunk. he probably could tell that he was just a little tipsy rather than extremely drunk. SLEs aren't THAT dumb. lol.

    And a situation being the "worse case scenario" doesn't make it more or less likely to happen. I mean, you can sleep with someone who has AIDs and not get it. That would also be the worst case scenario.

    And yes, both the worst and best case scenarios for any decision need to be taken into account before deciding. Otherwise you aren't taking any responsibility for your actions. And both having a few drinks and driving home and letting a guy kiss you after you've said "no" are actions that can lead to a variety of results. If you're not ok with the worst case scenario for something, you shouldn't be doing it.
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