Results 1 to 16 of 16

Thread: Attraction to violent people

  1. #1
    Haikus
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    MI
    TIM
    IEI-Ni
    Posts
    10,060
    Mentioned
    223 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default Attraction to violent people

    Why am I attracted to violent people? Looking back in my life...I chose friends/lovers that had a definite violent streak to them, that were dangerous- that even got in trouble with the law for attacking people and threatening them.

    Is it because I feel safe with them? That, I know they could turn their rage onto me - but I also feel so protected by them, is it mere dual-seeking? I remember people who were more gentler tried to get me not to talk to these people who were dangerous, but I still felt more comfortable being around men and women that knew how to fight.

  2. #2
    07490's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    there
    Posts
    3,047
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BulletsAndDoves View Post
    Why am I attracted to violent people? Looking back in my life...I chose friends/lovers that had a definite violent streak to them, that were dangerous- that even got in trouble with the law for attacking people and threatening them.

    Is it because I feel safe with them? That, I know they could turn their rage onto me - but I also feel so protected by them, is it mere dual-seeking? I remember people who were more gentler tried to get me not to talk to these people who were dangerous, but I still felt more comfortable being around men and women that knew how to fight.
    Not really, Three INFp I work with say they hate rude people, and cannot imagine going out with people whoa re attracted to violence.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

  3. #3
    not a bumblebee octo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    TIM
    IEI 4-6-9 apparently
    Posts
    2,744
    Mentioned
    30 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    I've never, ever enjoyed sheer violence. I can find it amusing and worthy of mockery, but I stay the hell away from fights and blood and all that. I can watch Quentin Tarantino and think, "Hey, it'd be AWESOME to be as tough as O-Ren Ishii!" but I can't deal with the messy reality.

    I'm attracted to mildly criminal activity though.
    Quote Originally Posted by Agee The Great View Post
    Nobody here...besides me, seems to know what SLE is except for maybe Maritsa.

  4. #4
    Haikus
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    MI
    TIM
    IEI-Ni
    Posts
    10,060
    Mentioned
    223 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    You misunderstood what I was saying numbers. I don't intentionally seek out violent people. It's just I don't know they're violent when I pick them, but they turn out to be violent over time- in some way or another. It's like a subconscious thing.

    And I meant violent as in ....externally angry, not necessarily rude.

  5. #5
    07490's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    there
    Posts
    3,047
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I did not misunderstood you becuase I was not talking about you but the three INFp I know, I don't care about your position on how you think about violent people, I just wanted to answer you question on dual seeking of .


    To response to the externally angry, not rudeness if that is what you meant if that is dual-seeking, The INFp's I know does not like people in which he happen to feel a vibe of anger, which cause a relationship to crumble, if that answers your question.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

  6. #6
    Snomunegot munenori2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Kansas
    TIM
    Introvert sp/sx
    Posts
    7,739
    Mentioned
    30 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    When we're talking criminal records/run ins with the law, what do you mean? How do you feel about indecent exposure at country music festivals?
    Moonlight will fall
    Winter will end
    Harvest will come
    Your heart will mend

  7. #7
    Haikus
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    MI
    TIM
    IEI-Ni
    Posts
    10,060
    Mentioned
    223 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    I'm talking about....violent stuff, where people lose their temper. My best friend of 11 years stabbed her female friend and went to prison for 2.5 years. And all the boys I've slept with have been in trouble with the law for violent crime for years, one even for attempted murder. One guy that I 'felt up' (but no actual sex) stabbed somebody as well, and was sent to prison for 5 years.

    I would think exposing yourself is no big deal, in fact a lot of 'decency laws' are really silly to me, I'm very liberal when it comes to sex- although I *do* think it's offensive if people stimulate sexual activities in a place where it's not designed for it. Only because they do it in a way that to me is too immature, and not actually erotic lol. Like they laugh and act vapid with it, like the way preppy jocks and cheerleaders can act at sports bars. I don't really like that, it's ...off-putting for me in reality, even though if it might arouse me on a porn.

    Instead of people getting all bent over shape if people expose themselves, you're *supposed* to point and laugh and say 'Heh that little thing? Come on now.' If they're actually well-hung well, then...that's hot. Why would you get offended over that?

  8. #8
    I've been waiting for you Satan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Behind you
    TIM
    sle sp/sx 845
    Posts
    4,956
    Mentioned
    137 Post(s)
    Tagged
    15 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by 07490 View Post
    Not really, Three INFp I work with say they hate rude people, and cannot imagine going out with people whoa re attracted to violence.
    girls never say what they mean, or mean what they say

  9. #9
    07490's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    there
    Posts
    3,047
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    girls never say what they mean, or mean what they say
    The Three INFps say what they mean.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

  10. #10
    sigma's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Romania
    Posts
    641
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    "Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent." I believe this!

    I find it disgusting especially when there is in an unbalanced force situation, like when a man hits a woman that he know will not hit back or will do it in a inefficient way.
    If the balance is ok, i.e. the woman will hit him hard in the balls or cut off his dick or something... then... it might be interesting.

    Also, I believe that adults hitting their children are proclaiming to the world that they are unable to think.
    "What is love?"
    "The total absence of fear," said the Master.
    "What is it we fear?"
    "Love," said the Master.

    I chose Love

  11. #11
    calenwen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Cardiff
    TIM
    ISXj
    Posts
    949
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sigma View Post
    "Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent." I believe this!

    I find it disgusting especially when there is in an unbalanced force situation, like when a man hits a woman that he know will not hit back or will do it in a inefficient way.
    If the balance is ok, i.e. the woman will hit him hard in the balls or cut off his dick or something... then... it might be interesting.

    Also, I believe that adults hitting their children are proclaiming to the world that they are unable to think.
    I just quoted this to say that I read the story in your signature and I liked it, haha. Did you read the sequel, too?

    Also, B&D, maybe it's just because you live near Detroit and it's hard not to find violent people there.
    Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.
    John Muir

  12. #12
    sigma's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Romania
    Posts
    641
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by calenwen View Post
    I just quoted this to say that I read the story in your signature and I liked it, haha. Did you read the sequel, too?
    what sequel?
    and by the way... the story is funny... until you start to get it... then it ceases to be funny and becomes extremely helpful...
    For me it is a mind shaping device... still working... chipping away the layers of crap I have between my ears.
    "What is love?"
    "The total absence of fear," said the Master.
    "What is it we fear?"
    "Love," said the Master.

    I chose Love

  13. #13
    Exits, pursued by a bear. Animal's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    TIM
    It sneaks up on you
    Posts
    3,051
    Mentioned
    83 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BulletsAndDoves View Post
    Why am I attracted to violent people? Looking back in my life...I chose friends/lovers that had a definite violent streak to them, that were dangerous- that even got in trouble with the law for attacking people and threatening them.

    Is it because I feel safe with them? That, I know they could turn their rage onto me - but I also feel so protected by them, is it mere dual-seeking? I remember people who were more gentler tried to get me not to talk to these people who were dangerous, but I still felt more comfortable being around men and women that knew how to fight.
    Were you exposed to a lot of violence growing up/are you in a violent situation now? The only environment where this would make one feel more comfortable would be one in which violence was commonplace to begin with.

    For the majority of people in developed countries, violence is thankfully relatively rare, but it does still happen and there are still places in this country where violence is a day-to-day threat.

    (BTW, I don't recommend answering these questions on a public forum. Just be aware if this might be an internalized feeling of elevated danger from childhood or your current environment.)
    "How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
    -- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

  14. #14
    calenwen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Cardiff
    TIM
    ISXj
    Posts
    949
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sigma View Post
    what sequel?
    and by the way... the story is funny... until you start to get it... then it ceases to be funny and becomes extremely helpful...
    For me it is a mind shaping device... still working... chipping away the layers of crap I have between my ears.
    The sequel is called The Religion War and it's by Scott Adams, of course. I just checked on Google Books and it looks like you can access the whole thing there.
    And yeah, I found it helpful too. (:
    Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.
    John Muir

  15. #15
    Haikus
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    MI
    TIM
    IEI-Ni
    Posts
    10,060
    Mentioned
    223 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    I grew up in a conservative family. Violence was sublimated into simple 'Oh that's not nice!' behavior and rarely talked about or discussed.

    They CALLED themselves liberal, but they really were conservative, in the traditional 'religious' sense. We couldn't even swear. I remember if I cussed, my dad called the police and stuff. He was pretty strict, despite not having a very good physical presence. So if I misbehaved, he would IMMEDIATELY call the authorities.

    I resorted to acting out online because I couldn't express my emotions at home. (If I did say anything, they would say 'Oh you just need a therapist' which was so weird to me....I just had to talk about something, but I had a simple, small problem that wasn't even a big deal and yet to them it sent them panicking. Pretty soon my problems escalated over time.)

    "They liked you better when you were depressed. You were easier to deal with."

    ((I realize my parents did the best job they knew how to do, and I'm not attacking them. Just trying to give some background info.))

  16. #16
    Haikus
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    MI
    TIM
    IEI-Ni
    Posts
    10,060
    Mentioned
    223 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    They weren't liberal so I don't know why they said they were. All their actions turned out to be conservative. Not that I mind. I just don't understand how they could say one thing and do another. It's always in your actions and what you to do, ultimately- not what you say.

    That is over the last three years I've really been honest with myself about what my 'true motivations' were and it's been liberating. I don't feel so guilty or self-conscious anymore. Well I still do....but nowhere near as bad.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •