So anyways I was in umm a social gathering recently. And it was nothing but Te after Te after Te. My polr. I felt frozen in a kind of boredom, paralyzed.... as I heard what they were saying, but I did not care. It didn't give me any energy. Nothing. Not a weakness (as that I can forge into strength) No pain, no embarrassment or humiliation. Just ennui. And you know what Oscar Wilde said about that.
They started talking about like 'specific, logical newspaper speak' you know. And it was so foreign to me. Basically it was like 7 Expats chatting at once... I looked at their faces. It was like they weren't even human to me. Or that I wasn't even human. I eventually said something very Fe-ish and off the wall , and suddenly the attention clicked back to me. They laughed, trying to emphasize with my discomfort. Of course deep down I wanted an estp to be there to say ' look sam is clearly uncomfortable, talk about something else already' but lacked the balls myself to do this.
It was just raw facts. Which I don't mind. It's not like I feel I am so ...disconnected from reality. It was just like you know, the uh how certain facts are presented. I'm bad at explaining what Te is, but when I'm getting it I know it. It was just blathering about stuff that I didn't care about because it was just so....darn...not interesting. Like why the hell weren't they talking about improving their own lives or psychological self-improvement or something generally Ni-like? How can you have a conversation about this crap I wondered? I needed some fresh air.
It's more complicated than that. It's not that I want people to be all lovey dovey woooo emotional and yucky yucky to me. Blargh. It's like Dolphin said, complex thought processes - some that mesh you well with and others you don't.
That's what polrs do. They make you feel like you don't fucking exist. You can't even hate them, I would say 'Te-ignoring' maybe better than polr. You do feel a hurt I suppose. But it's the crushing, sinking kinda feel of hurt that you can't even fight. It just a quicksand that engulfs you until there's nothing left. And if you have 5 fucking Te-egos yapping to each other at once with you in the background, looking at them as if they were animals in cages; you can only think 'oh god fucking WHY ME?'