How would you describe EIEs/ENFjs in social situations

[MasterfulMischief]

If you are EIE or know someone who is how would you describe them in social situations?

Any stories/anecdotes/observations welcome.

[Creepy-male]

Pretty direct. Stuck to the background and herded the group around from there. Context: meetup with a bunch of local forum cronies. We just hit up an arcade and then from there a web cafe.

[JuJu]

* Setting an emotional tone for whatever situation -- any tone
* Making sarcastic, acerbic jokes... Somewhere between 'not taking [whatever it is] seriously' and 'pointedly criticizing.'
* When fired up -- the Ni subtype is more vehement than the Fe subtype -- very dramatic speeches and facial expressions.
* Excellent at speaking to large groups, but somewhat worse one-on-one.

Are you asking this because you think you're EIE..? If yes, just post a picture and we can settle it quickly and easily.

[Satan]

Pretty direct. Stuck to the background and herded the group around from there. Context: meetup with a bunch of local forum cronies. We just hit up an arcade and then from there a web cafe.

cos y'know, you break out in a rash when you don't get your internet fix.

[07490]

* Setting an emotional tone for whatever situation -- any tone
* Making sarcastic, acerbic jokes... Somewhere between 'not taking [whatever it is] seriously' and 'pointedly criticizing.'
* When fired up -- the Ni subtype is more vehement than the Fe subtype -- very dramatic speeches and facial expressions.
* Excellent at speaking to large groups, but somewhat worse one-on-one.

Are you asking this because you think you're EIE..? If yes, just post a picture and we can settle it quickly and easily.

I can agree msot EIE are liek that except the bold sentence.

[unefille]

I can agree msot EIE are liek that except the bold sentence.

Odd. That sentence resonates the most with me, put me in front of an audience and a podium and I am much more 'natural' and 'at ease' than one-on-one (unless I know them well). I also identify very strongly with the line about the jokes -- deliberately not taking anything seriously, whilst seriously pointing out the flaws/problems.

[07490]

Odd. That sentence resonates the most with me, put me in front of an audience and a podium and I am much more 'natural' and 'at ease' than one-on-one (unless I know them well). I also identify very strongly with the line about the jokes -- deliberately not taking anything seriously, whilst seriously pointing out the flaws/problems.

I dont know actually, but i think this proberly has something to do with stacking also. I can talk infront of a audience such as teaching in a large amount of people but i must have a direction first know what i will talk about.

[07490]

I am most comfortable with one on one situation, unless situation calls for it that i have to preform, even like teaching can be an cordination of performance. But if you mean a group of friend hanging out scatter with different conversation and such then i would feel a bit at awk being the center of conversation, althought if i am in a very good mood i feel more at ease.

[unefille]

I am most comfortable with one on one situation, unless situation calls for it that i have to preform, even like teaching can be an cordination of performance. But if you mean a group of friend hanging out scatter with different conversation and such then i would feel a bit at awk being the center of conversation, althought if i am in a very good mood i feel more at ease.

I sort of mean both.

I am literally very comfortable on a stage, performing. But I have to be 'performing', not just passing the time. I'm comfortable with public speaking, I'm fine with teaching large classes (sometimes the larger, the better) etc etc.

I'm also comfortable with being the center of conversation with a group of friends. In fact, when socialising with a group of people, I'm either have a one-on-one conversation with someone I know well, or telling stories to the entire group. After all, the latter is just a more intimate performance.

But with people I'm not that well acquainted with, I don't want to talk to them one-on-one; it often makes me uncomfortable. I stop and start. I have slightly erratic thought patterns. I make awkward conversation, hating them the entire time for not trying harder to make the conversation less awkward. I don't know how to respond appropriately sometimes and I feel uncomfortable if they want 'more' from me and I don't want to 'give more'. I'm scared that they're bored, that they're getting to know and they don't like me etc etc etc. I need to know someone really quite well and be very comfortable with them to have them as psychologically close as people inevitably are in one-on-one conversation.

Unless I'm drunk. Then, that's a whole new ballpark.

[07490]

I sort of mean both.

I am literally very comfortable on a stage, performing. But I have to be 'performing', not just passing the time. I'm comfortable with public speaking, I'm fine with teaching large classes (sometimes the larger, the better) etc etc.

I'm also comfortable with being the center of conversation with a group of friends. In fact, when socialising with a group of people, I'm either have a one-on-one conversation with someone I know well, or telling stories to the entire group. After all, the latter is just a more intimate performance.

But with people I'm not that well acquainted with, I don't want to talk to them one-on-one; it often makes me uncomfortable. I stop and start. I have slightly erratic thought patterns. I make awkward conversation, hating them the entire time for not trying harder to make the conversation less awkward. I don't know how to respond appropriately sometimes and I feel uncomfortable if they want 'more' from me and I don't want to 'give more'. I'm scared that they're bored, that they're getting to know and they don't like me etc etc etc. I need to know someone really quite well and be very comfortable with them to have them as psychologically close as people inevitably are in one-on-one conversation.

Unless I'm drunk. Then, that's a whole new ballpark.

yea I understand, I can feel like that too lol. to be honest, EIE can adapt to social situation, so it all depends how it was adapted.

[lefty]

Maybe it's because you're fine with putting on a show, but (somewhat paradoxically) you feel overscrutinised when there's just one person? I get that sometimes too.

I've become fascinated by my ability to effect groups whereas I used to dread them and feel controlled by them.

[unefille]

Maybe it's because you're fine with putting on a show, but (somewhat paradoxically) you feel overscrutinised when there's just one person? I get that sometimes too.

Pretty much. You know weathervanes? Twitching with every change of the wind? I'm reacting to ever twitch, every blink, every pause and change in tone. You know how I deal with the degree of scrutiny that accompanies mooting -- I don't wear glasses or contacts and go short-sighted. But it's more than that -- informal one to one implies that I will be ME in that interaction and I feel uncomfortable doing that because it really doesn't matter the context, I've got to test the waters first. I have to have backlog of 'how A reacts to X and Y and what's going on when A does Z and Q' because I can be comfortable with my defenses down.

Formal one-to-ones, like 'casual' interviews are fine. I don't understand being nervous during an interview -- before one, sure, you might fuck up -- but during the interview, you just focus on what needs to be done. It's the same thing as being on a stage. You're not 'you' for that moment -- you're the you that the occasion calls for for. Take all the messy messy elements of your self and shunt it to the side, draw on what you need and go for it. As long as I'm in a role, I'm comfortable, because I don't have to figure out my reactions -- I know my reactions and my actions ahead of time, because the context limits the variety of reactions available to you.

[idealistichick]

It honestly depends on our mood. For me for example I can appear really serious and quiet when I'm not in the right mood. When I'm in a good mood I'm usually the life of the party or just going along with everyone else. Pretty attention-whorish but I'm quiet about it. I'm basically an open book and as much as I tried to hide my emotions my closest friends can tell just by my looking into my eyes.

[07490]

Are the EIE-NI and SLE-Se the one you have posted the pictures on the differences between EIE and SLE thread? It sounds interesting because if so, the EIE on your pictures reminded me exact like one of the EIE professor I used to have, and she is absolutely great, differences in about 30 years of age i believe, I would say she is around her late 40, anyway, I get to know a lot about her, great person, and great mentor, she is those real deal EIE teachers that I want to be one day, and I have feelings that the EIE you were talking about is very in a way similar to her. I cannot confirm but I based my intuition on my professor as someone like this. Having odd view on how the world suppose to be, she, like your friend and even me have this kind of openness that people think it is "weird" like you said, something that a lot of EIE-NI have, I remember one time when I have to write an essay about how a certain situation changed your perspective in life that has shown you the light, I wrote a paper on Buddhism and she felt that she had very identical views to mine. She came up to me one time and told me, "Jason, which Buddhism tradition do you study?" I told her i don't follow anything in particular, I am always open to study it and group them together even through I know sticking with one and get better result." then she told me that she had been studying Buddhism for 20 years... I was quite shock because at that time I wasn't even 20, I was 18. But anyway, I think that the point is alot of EIE-NI study Buddhism because the philosophy makes a lot of sense to them and I believe out of all 16 types the EIE would be one of a type to benefit from Buddhism. Another thing that has stuck out to me is that I ask her one time a very generalized question, whether life is indeed good or bad, and she said that it's sometimes good, and sometimes bad, and I follow up telling her that maybe when you are younger life were better because you were so fresh and innocent in every way, sort of like a virgin to everything, the first time was always the best, and your first love, and then she went on and told me that yea but sometimes when you are young there are a lot of mean kids which will say mean things to you, which can scared you for life, I felt that she might have a rough and humble childhood BASED on her idealistic belief, something that you Allie mention that you wanted her to know that she was ******'s identical, something that EIE dream of and their vision, for the better or the worse. which can never happen, Unless you can fulfill it like ******.

[Satan]

wtf



Maybe this could be an ethical extrovert thing? I know an IEE who would often forget that it was an important thing for me to keep a low profile. She would also publicly talk about things that I had spoken to her in private about, which often caused me to withhold information from her.

I thought it was common knowledge that you were a guy that dresses as a girl.

[Satan]

I really don't get them. lol


Yeah, I agree with you. I know an IEE who's a lot worse than the EIE, now that I think about it. Heh.

I think IEE's are the type that always want to know what I'm thinking, as if I don't express myself.

I don't know about the way that other people think but I don't have a track of what I'm currently thinking...

I just have transient thoughts like Allie is often kind of uncertain about showing her own opinions and kind of follows along other peoples opinions and confirming / denying them based on real life experiences of what she's seen.

Which can lead me onto to relating based upon real life experiences that have been seen .. and what other peoples opinions are, without having to voice my own opinions.

Whereas some people want your individual opinions irrelevant of what other people think, because they're more individually orientated and less group orientated...

Now relating to real life experiences it seems IEE's want to know what I'm thinking, which often seems to lead to criticism of the ENFp's approach/questioning .. way of doing things etc. Which then pushes them to be more defensive. Which leads us astray. Which means I want to shift to the topic at hand .. which then makes them want to "uncover" what I was getting at so they can deny it's an issue. So I kind of feel like I have to keep saying everything's cool and so on. And smoothing things out. Which kills any depth of interaction.

[07490]

merky I think if life was a chess game that you play, and that you don't play the game in your head and let thing unfold in life, you would be a champion.

[Ezra]

If you are EIE or know someone who is how would you describe them in social situations?

What do you mean "in social situations"? EIEs are social situations!

EIEs vary from EIE to EIE. Generally, they will try to preserve a good atmosphere, and they'll even try this when they're on the sidelines. Most of the time they succeed, and they succeed admirably. However, they're also good at being whatever they feel like being socially at any moment in time. If they want to be "tall/dark/mysterious" or "sexy and mysterious" they can do this effortlessly. If they want to be the centre of attention/the life of the party/the big daddy, they can also do this just as effortlessly. They're brilliant at maintaining image in social situations, and they can switch their images as little or as often as they like. They know how to rub people up the right way (and the wrong way). Even if it's their first encounter in a social group, they can very easily make it look as if they've always been "leader" of the group. They know how to rouse people emotionally. This is their primary way of getting people to do things. SLEs get you to do shit through intimidation and intense persuasion. EIEs will get you to do something through words, and, very often, guilt. My EIE grandfather likes to send people on a guilt trip if they don't agree with his beliefs, or if they don't do what he wants them to do. And he's extremely good at making people feel bad. This all carries through to social situations - if they want to get a group to do something or go somewhere collectively, they will make it happen.

Wonderful breed, EIEs.

[MasterfulMischief]

wtf



Maybe this could be an ethical extrovert thing? I know an IEE who would often forget that it was an important thing for me to keep a low profile. She would also publicly talk about things that I had spoken to her in private about, which often caused me to withhold information from her.

I'm pretty sure this is just a social intelligence thing. I am 100% the opposite. However I guess I like to gossip etc but beyond that im almost super sensitive to things like that. Also, the beta description on wikisocion says that betas regard it as treachery when something that was told in private is later told to the group and I agree with that.

Ezra: I like that EIE description :wink: