Type Person A and Person B
Is it possible to type Person A and Person B based on this exchange? Or at least identify some functions in play here?
I think the context will become quite clear once you start reading.
Note: No, I am not "B" whining about my recent breakup!
A: You know I've been there and I think you're going through what any person who has been in love would go through. It's perfectly reasonable and understandable. When we are the ones who did not desire the relationship to
end, it's even harder to heal. Of course you have the strength because you've already displayed it before this happened. I respect you so much because you approached it in a totally healthy and non-destructive way - and you still are. Have faith in yourself and take it day by day.
B: Thank you but I honestly don't deserve that. I had no option but to stay away from him (that's still the case). It wasn't because I was strong and knew it was best to stay away, or respected myself enough to do that. The
one time I asked he said no and not once did he try to establish contact with me in any way (email, phone, person). Nothing! I wasn't strong because I didn't make a choice, I still haven't. He has all the control and
has made all the choices so far and I've just lived out the choices he's made for me. That's the crude but painful truth.
I was pitiful enough to still text him after he left Saturday while I was having a meltdown and asking him AGAIN to give us another chance, that I knew he loved me blah blah blah. UGH!! No wonder he doesn't take me seriously. All that after he made it clear that it wasn't going to happen. I still kept thinking I could sway him. That I'll be the one to make him realize how self-destructive he is when it comes to relationships. That I would be the one to make him fall in love so hard that it would change his life that drastically. That I was that special! I'm so delusional. Me and my fucking heroine complex. He warned me about this and I didn't listen because I was sure, sooo sure that I'd be the one to safe him from himself. That I would be able to give him all those things he has lacked and he would actually appreciate me for it. That it would be enough! But not only do I fail at that, but he actually turns it all down. He doesn't even want it.
I feel such a deep sense of failure and disappointment in being so delusionally idealistic. And honestly I feel empty because my ideals are all I have. And now I feel like I have nothing. Yes, I'm depressed. Ugh.
A: You make that sound easy. Its easy to overstep those boundaries and make and ass of yourself, but you didn't. You will slowly regain your control. Don't hate yourself-Love is something you believe in and you gave it your all. You just can't flip a switch-that's what makes you a great person. Don't let his ideas make you feel bad about yourself. You are a good person and you are right-you could have helped him out a lot-if he let you. He will realize his mistakes later-People like you are not easy to come by.
B: I'll still keep driving myself crazy though because I'm such a stupid
romantic. I always think that love will prevail and I have these fantasies
of someone falling in love with me and finally being able to see the light. That's probably what attracted me to him the most. That he had the potential to be that person. He kept talking about how he has never opened himself up to anyone and he felt differently with me (all these were at least partly lies, I'm sure). And the more I got to know him, the more I could see how much I was the perfect person to help him and he could help me too. It was just such an obvious thing with him that he was lacking all these things that I was great at, that would actually make me happy giving him. And that it was fate, that God had finally sent him the person that would be so awesome (in the exact way he needed) that for the first time in his life he would truly love someone. And just knowing that I was that person was all the recompense I needed. And even though there's a lot of truth to that in that I know I can be that person to him (if he'd let me) because I'm still
convinced that he needs someone like me (and he is also, always said
so)...which is why his decision has made so little sense. Maybe my theory
that he is too scared to let this change take place is true. Actually, he
admitted that on Saturday...that he knew what he was doing wasn't healthy
but basically he's not willing to do anything about it. He'd rather
continue his life as a meaningless abyss. Self destructive! But then I
still keep thinking...if he'd loved me enough, he would have let me. Like
magic. Like the movies.
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dominant, ESE>EIE. I think A is a Merry Intuitive.
Originally Posted by Gilly
