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Thread: VI my ex-fiancee

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    Haikus Sirena's Avatar
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    Default VI my ex-fiancee


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    ILE - ENTp 1981slater's Avatar
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    Extroverted, irrational

    mmm...ESTp ?

    The very first thing most forum members do after breaking up with someone is showing pictures of him/her...it remembers me of the crap the soccer teams presidents answer when journalists ask them "are you going to fire the team manager because of the 8 consecutive games you lost?" "No, we trust him" --> The very first thing presidents do when they have decided to kick the manager out the team is telling the media they trust him!
    ILE "Searcher"
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    To learn, read. To know, write. To master, teach.

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    Ritella's Avatar
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    :0
    you had a fiancee?!
    idk. he looks like someone who would scare the crap out of me. Beta ST?
    EII; E6(w5)

    i am flakey

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    Pretend like it's the weekend Banana Pancakes's Avatar
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    cheater?
    ILE-Ti
    6w7 sx/sp (low level of confidence)

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    Haikus Sirena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    Extroverted, irrational

    mmm...ESTp ?

    The very first thing most forum members do after breaking up with someone is showing pictures of him/her...it remembers me of the crap the soccer teams presidents answer when journalists ask them "are you going to fire the team manager because of the 8 consecutive games you lost?" "No, we trust him" --> The very first thing presidents do when they have decided to kick the manager out the team is telling the media they trust him!
    Nononono this is NOT the guy I just dated!!! The guy in the pics and I dated (and were engaged) over 5 years ago. That's actually his baby in the pic (not mine).
    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    :0
    you had a fiancee?!
    idk. he looks like someone who would scare the crap out of me. Beta ST?
    Yes, I did...ages ago. Seems like a different lifetime.

    He looks scary to you? Really??? lol okaaaaay

    VERY interesting responses so far though hmmmm

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    Haikus Sirena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Banana Pancakes View Post
    cheater?
    Are you asking if he cheated on me? If so, the answer is NO.

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    Haikus Sirena's Avatar
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    To clarify, the reason I posted these is that I've been trying to type my exes since reading that "what types have you dated" thread and although I have a pretty good idea of his type, I wanted to see what you guys thought.

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    aka Slacker Slacker's Avatar
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    He looks scary and upset even when he's holding a tiny baby! Hmm I would say Beta ST, though my husband always looks upset and scary too and he isn't really upset usually and he's never scary. I suppose he could be Delta ST just as easily.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    Haikus Sirena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom View Post
    He looks scary and upset even when he's holding a tiny baby! Hmm I would say Beta ST, though my husband always looks upset and scary too and he isn't really upset usually and he's never scary. I suppose he could be Delta ST just as easily.
    Hahahaha I guess I see how you would think he looks scary, that's just not what I associate with that type of look. Honestly, I'd debated between Beta ST and Delta ST, though not for long. The more I think about it, the more obvious it is.

    I'm curious to hear what other people think, then I'll give my opinion of his type and explain how I see our intertype relationship.

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    I don't think he looks scary...? Just very focused. ST is obvious but I couldn't say anything more than that. Isn't it so odd seeing an ex with their child? Ugh I hate it.

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    I would also guess that he is Beta ST, and most likely ESTp.

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    ILE - ENTp 1981slater's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    I don't think he looks scary...?
    Perhaps types "smell" and get into a "caution" mode.
    ILE "Searcher"
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    ILE - ENTp 1981slater's Avatar
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    OK. The type thread is over: he's ESTp.

    Now open a new thread: Is he scary?
    ILE "Searcher"
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    Enneagram: 7w6 "Enthusiast"
    MBTI: ENTJ "Field Marshall" or ENTP "Inventor"
    Astrological sign: Aquarius

    To learn, read. To know, write. To master, teach.

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    Haikus Sirena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    I don't think he looks scary...? Just very focused. ST is obvious but I couldn't say anything more than that. Isn't it so odd seeing an ex with their child? Ugh I hate it.
    No, not really. Only because we have sort of stayed in touch. Not purposely, but we have many many friends in common so it's inevitable to run into each other every now and then. Ha, I've even been bowling with him and his SO and other friends! I was in a serious relationship at the time though, I don't think his SO would be thrilled to do that now.
    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    OK. The type thread is over: he's ESTp.

    Now open a new thread: Is he scary?
    LOL that's basically what this thread has turned into, so it'd be redundant.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    Perhaps types "smell" and get into a "caution" mode.
    Is he scary to YOU?

    YES or NO?

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    he's not scary to me like in "i think he'd beat me up" or "he's a bad person. lock away your children!" way. he just looks... really intense. I can deal with "heady" intensity, but I can't deal with like "I'm focused on what's going on around me." Basically I'd feel scared that I'd be "doing something wrong" around him.
    my guess is LSI.
    EII; E6(w5)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    he's not scary to me like in "i think he'd beat me up" or "he's a bad person. lock away your children!" way. he just looks... really intense. I can deal with "heady" intensity, but I can't deal with like "I'm focused on what's going on around me." Basically I'd feel scared that I'd be "doing something wrong" around him.
    my guess is LSI.
    I agree...my immediate thought was Beta ST...particularly LSI. I have a hard time discerning between LSI and SLE. It's a bit hard but i'd go with LSI.

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    looks like a bro is what everyone needs to be saying. i'd guess entj. i guess maybe estp.
    asd

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    ILE - ENTp 1981slater's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sirena View Post
    Is he scary to YOU?

    YES or NO?

    I don't like aggressive, mean, selfish, close-minded people fucking around me and I can spot this kind of easily. It doesn't mean every people behaves like this. On the other hand, are not always the "strongest"
    ILE "Searcher"
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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    I suppose an STJ of some sort, undecided on the first letter
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    SLE or LSE
    ...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.

    INTp

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    Oh, so this is the famous guy you were once telling me about... Is that you in the first pic?
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Warlord View Post
    SLE or LSE
    LSE > SLE
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    He VIs like (and physically resembles) a guy my friend is dating, but an extraverted version.

    She's dating an SLI.

    So, LSE.
    ()
    3w4-1w2-5w4 sx/sp

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    LSE.
    INFp

    If your sea chart does not match reality, go with reality (Old mariner saying)



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    noooooooooooooooooo
    please say no.
    EII; E6(w5)

    i am flakey

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    It's like someone took UDP, Ashton, and Vin Diesel, and smooshed them into some jock with a shit-eating grin and white collar pretensions. Must be SLE
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly View Post
    It's like someone took UDP, Ashton, and Vin Diesel, and smooshed them into some jock with a shit-eating grin and white collar pretensions. Must be SLE
    lol

    If that could actually be done, I think someone should do it for lol purposes alone.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Warlord View Post
    SLE or LSE
    Any suggestions as to how to distinguish between the two? Aside from reading type descriptions, that is. Those seem very one-dimensional.
    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    Oh, so this is the famous guy you were once telling me about... Is that you in the first pic?
    Yes, I imagine it is probably the same guy and no, that is not me.
    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    LSE > SLE
    What makes you think LSE over SLE?
    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly View Post
    It's like someone took UDP, Ashton, and Vin Diesel, and smooshed them into some jock with a shit-eating grin and white collar pretensions. Must be SLE
    LOL

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    I think he looks intimidating but I could see liking him after I got to know him. I don't know how to tell rational vs. irrational with VI alone. Anyone have hints or is it just something you can't describe?
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    OK, a little bit more about him....

    I guess there's not much doubt that he is an ST. Most of you seem to be on the same page about that, except for the ENTj suggestion. That has always been obvious to me also. So now it comes down to which ST he is. I admit that I have a hard time telling mirrors apart, especially in some cases where the distinguishing elements (E/I and j/p) aren't obvious. The thing is, I often also have difficulty distinguishing between quasi-identicals because they share a lot of the same strengths, even though they value different elements.

    So...here are the traits that stand out the most to me about him. I realize this is somewhat biased since it is my perception, but it's all I got. What attracted me about him from the get-go was his presence. I remember writing about how he made me feel the first time I saw him. We were at a party and I was sitting in some corner sulking. I distinctly remember not wanting to be there and was in a bad mood about that. I'm pretty shy (more so then than I am now) so I try not to be in the spotlight unless I'm completely comfortable. He was having conversation with some people and I'd probably been watching him discreetly when at some point in the night (towards the end, I think) he came up and asked me to dance. This may have been prompted by my mom. She does that sort of thing because she knows I'd never do it myself. So knowing I was bored and wasn't planning on doing anything about it but sulk the night away, she took matters into her own hands. I'm not sure this is what happened, but it wouldn't be uncommon, so it's very possible. The details are a little blurry. One way or another, we ended up dancing to some slow song. We barely spoke three words, but my heart was pounding like crazy. I felt almost hypnotized by him. He was so sure and confident of everything he did, I was like a shaky leaf. The whole thing just felt magnetic. I needed to be around him. He took all the initiative, which was nice but also scary and made me even more elusive especially at first, which seemed to draw him in more. I knew he could hurt me. I knew my emotions were more invested than his at first, so there was a lot of cat and mouse type stuff. LOL I remember at the beginning stages of his pursuing me and for a period of about two weeks, I had two guys visiting me at home every evening (I lived with my parents at the time). One was a friend from school that had a huge crush on me, who was actually the one that started visiting first. Then this guy starts coming over just like that. He did not seem to feel one bit uncomfortable or intimidated, though I did feel bad for the other guy. I know it was probably horrible of me to allow this to happen, but they both knew what was going on and they both kept coming, so. Eventually the other guy stopped coming over. I could tell I had hurt him and that he felt rejected, but he never actually declared his feeling to me, so it felt awkward to put him on the spot by pointing out that I didn't return them. So I just sort of left things like that, which I feel bad about.

    The rest of our relationship had a similar dynamic. When we were around people, he was sociable and boisterous and I was pretty much attached to his hip the whole time, even though most of the other women were huddled together somewhere talking about their husbands, homes, money, etc etc. So yes, I was very clingy and he liked having me around all the time.

    He is quite expressive in facial expression, mannerisms and tone especially when he's trying to make a point. He can also be chill though. He has this characteristic look that I find hard to explain, but it definitely conveys "I'm sizing you up." He is actually very sensitive but only I got to see that.

    He is very friendly/outgoing and can strike up a conversation with anyone and he was always willing to help someone out. Like if a friend was moving, he would always offer to help and I think would enjoy doing it. He is impulsive in every possible way, probably. He's horrible about keeping in touch with people and will very easily neglect a bond with another person unless it is actively being nourished. Unless it's right in front of his face. And it's not that he doesn't care because he does, though those people would logically think otherwise.

    So anyway, I find rationality unlikely for him. I have considered either SLE or LSE, but I don't see how EJ would fit his temperament. Or IJ, for that matter. I do realize temperament can be misleading though, so...

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    redbaron's Avatar
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    SLE. awww, wow. I could feel my own heart beating when I was reading that part about you first meeting and dancing..... ah....

    and I could totally see the part about the two guys coming over and how awkward that would be but what could you do? I would have done the exact same thing you did (which was basically nothing, LOL!) and I would have felt badly for the other guy also.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    yes he looks ESTp and I also found him "scary" in the same way I find ESTps scary. And that's not a criticism of ESTps as they are good people, but it's more my reaction to Se usually.
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

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    He reminds me of a tougher version of Nicolas Cage.

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    I think he looks intimidating but I could see liking him after I got to know him. I don't know how to tell rational vs. irrational with VI alone. Anyone have hints or is it just something you can't describe?
    I know what you mean. He was intimidating to me in the sense I described. Not scary, more like awe-inspiring. Even to this day, we always seem to be acutely aware of each other. Even though we don't show it, I can sense it.
    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    SLE. awww, wow. I could feel my own heart beating when I was reading that part about you first meeting and dancing..... ah....

    and I could totally see the part about the two guys coming over and how awkward that would be but what could you do? I would have done the exact same thing you did (which was basically nothing, LOL!) and I would have felt badly for the other guy also.

    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    yes he looks ESTp and I also found him "scary" in the same way I find ESTps scary. And that's not a criticism of ESTps as they are good people, but it's more my reaction to Se usually.
    I understand.
    Quote Originally Posted by glamourama View Post
    wow Sirena , I really think you are INFp and that guy is ESTp.

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    Quote Originally Posted by eunice View Post
    He reminds me of a tougher version of Nicolas Cage.
    Really? Nicolas Cage always seems so gloomy and whiny to me. In movies, anyway. Don't get me wrong, I like him. He sort of reminds me of myself in that sense. "City of Angels" comes to mind. Ahh I love that movie.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sirena View Post
    Really? Nicolas Cage always seems so gloomy and whiny to me. In movies, anyway. Don't get me wrong, I like him. He sort of reminds me of myself in that sense. "City of Angels" comes to mind. Ahh I love that movie.
    LOL. YES!
    that guy does NOT remind me of Cage. Cage looks like he's permanently constipated or something. It's so annoying.
    The only movies I like with him are when he plays a character who's pathetic. Then it's hilarious because he nails it.
    EII; E6(w5)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    LOL. YES!
    that guy does NOT remind me of Cage. Cage looks like he's permanently constipated or something. It's so annoying.
    The only movies I like with him are when he plays a character who's pathetic. Then it's hilarious because he nails it.
    Hahaha

    He looks like he's always carrying this black cloud over his head, like a deep sadness, the burden of being him....I like him for that. Like a motherless puppy or an ugly duckling. I wanna say "It's okay, I love you just the way you are. My love isn't conditional, I accept you even if you don't accept yourself. I see how special you really are."

    Wow I'm in an especially melancholy mood today.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sirena View Post
    Hahaha

    He looks like he's always carrying this black cloud over his head, like a deep sadness, the burden of being him....I like him for that. Like a motherless puppy or an ugly duckling. I wanna say "It's okay, I love you just the way you are. My love isn't conditional, I accept you even if you don't accept yourself. I see how special you really are."

    Wow I'm in an especially melancholy mood today.
    lol. I just want to smack him.
    EII; E6(w5)

    i am flakey

  40. #40
    Haikus Sirena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    lol. I just want to smack him.
    lol, that was probably more of a projection on my part of how I want to love someone, if they only let me. probably not a whole lot to do with Cage himself.

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