I've been waiting for you
People acting like each other
I can't say that I'm that great with groups.
But I often notice people acting like each other. And it can weird me out, because it's like I stop seeing the individuality because they're "part of a group."
I've often found myself considering people who make individual choices/decisions, or sway a group as having more significance than those who just go with the flow.
Now the thing is, sometimes I get weirded out. I'll like realise I've started some kind of trend or something. And it's like, I'll just want to change.
Everything will be going well in a situation, and I'll want to leave. I'll be getting along really well with someone then be like "We can't talk anymore."
In the very distant past. I remember that I used to drive some girls kind of crazy with "rejecting" them for minor reasons, where they'd then seemingly want to gain approval.
And this whole approval dance would bother me somewhat. I'd be like "Don't seek my approval." I'd also often be like "Don't listen to anyone, including me. Always make your own decisions."
Anyway, some people would be like "What are you talking about?" or "huh".
But some people seemed to "understand" what I said, and be like I can make my own decisions. I only listen to you when I agree with what you have to say. Etc etc.
The thing is, with some people, I used to have to be careful, because it's like I'd validate their direction, what they wanted to do etc, with realy little consideration. And it's like they'd take it too far, or misinterpret or something.
But now that we're all older that's probably not as bad.
So anyway, I still have problems with people acting like each other. And it's like people can start seeming like sheep in their own little herd, just gnawing grass. And to me, sheep is a kind of meat. But as soon as you call some girls a piece of meat they'll get offended. Others will laugh.
But anyway, I act like so many other people. So i've been trying to shift my behaviour a bit recently. And it's like I'm starting to notice how little or how much attention people pay to me shifting.
Which is kind of distracting. Anyway, it used to be like, I always felt that there was a kind of "carry on" effect from changes. From doing things dfferent etc. So often I kind of try to act kind of "predictable" and "boring" as a cover. Like I'm often able to change. But I want to keep things "boring", so that people don't get excited, jump to conclusions etc.
So I suppose that makes me a sheep. But anyway, what I want to try and deduce, is how the fuck do you get people to act as individuals.
I mean, know that sometimes people can "seperate" if you come into a situation with a "less open" vibe. And it's like people can either "cling" or keep more distance. And it can show "discomfort in relationships". I know that you can appear light and easy, and then people will be more liekly to say discriminating things etc.
But how do actually bring out the individual in people. Especially when they don't seem to be forth coming?
hmmmm, interesting. I like the concept of trying to bring out the individual/uniqueness in people. I think you need to get them one-on-one first. And develop a rapport. I know that I don't reveal my individuality to just anyone. Often I'll act like part of the group for awhile, especially if I'm new or unsure if people can handle the real me. I'll show that part of me to someone I trust but it takes time.
I've been waiting for you
I was just thinking .. later today .. that I've been mirroring more recently. I try to be just over other peoples energy level, rather than "at my own energy level".
Originally Posted by redbaron
And often when I'm at my own natural energy level, I'll create more distance - step back, be more dramatic etc.
New / unsure .. well,. in new situations, I find I often kind of hesitate/pause. Sometimes it's nice to have someone else around, to start interactions off. And then it's like I'll take over, and they'll drop by the way side, and it's like because I can get like that, some people will kind of just go quiet, and stop talking when I approach. And it's like I'm thinking inside me "does that mean I'm meant to take over?"
Although some people, I meet. They start telling me all about themselves. And it's like, it can take a while for them to realise, that I haven't revealed much about myself.
Whereas other people can be more balanced. But yeah, lots of people seem to cheat like "you're that guy that .." or "I've heard about you", or "you're <my name>".
You know how weird it is when someone comes up to you, and it's like they already know stuff about you. And they've seen you before. And other people have said stuff about you. And they're in front of you. And you don't even recognise them. AND THEN .. they say that they're "not important".
Anyway, recently I've been getting kind of bothered about just how superficial most of my interactions are.
It's like at times, I can get lots of people commenting on my actions, and being amused by my behaviour. And somehow involving themselves in my interactions. But it's like, that just validates that people notice me, that people are aware of me, etc. It doesn't really accomplish a lot in itself.
It's like I half remember this girl, (and now I remember another girl too, but bah) anyway, who like rolled cigarettes for me, because some other girl had in the past. And it's like, that's "established" enough, that means that she should roll me cigarettes. I suppose it's amusing, especially if non-smoking girls roll me cigarettes. But it's superficial. Oh yeah, you don't really do roll-your-own there.
Anyway, it's like, if you "suggest" things for some people do it's like they'll do it. And then you get people to do things for you, but then it's like they're a cigarette roller. Or they're someone who does things for you, rather than someone who umm ,.. strengthens you in any way. They're just someone who enables you.
So it's like people start seeming like other people, because other people have acted that way, and so they act that way.
And it's like I want people to act different. In ways that don't deaden things...
Anyway, I know I'm not the only one to get people to do things for me. And it's like I've seen other people getting people to do things for them, and it's like they seem to stop having much of their own preferences, their own action path etc. it''s like, they end up just going along with. And it's like I suppose I don't really have that happening for me at the moment so much, but in the past, I've had lots of people just go along with me. And it's like, I want real people. Not puppets. I'd rather war, then subjection.
So I don't know. There was one guy I remember, he seemed pretty cool, he said it was "easier" to go along with me. But it's like he was fun, and his own person and so on. Although he did seem kind of gay at first, that scared me a bit. And it's like he was too open.
But yeah, he also had this kind of quenching/threatening side. It was kind of a threatening of turning sour / withdrawing if his values were compromised.
So yeah, I don't know,.
Girls on the other hand.. most girls seem so cheap, and superficial. And it's all about painted nails. And lipstck. And gloss. And education. And relationships. And so on.
I don't know, maybe I'm just in a weird place.