Here's my idealized community:
I want to live in a secluded, woodsy area with about 4 or 5 other gay men and (maybe) a few fag hags. We'd take care of ourselves and our own tribe. We'd hunt, fish and sleep together. We would learn all about psychology and the esoterics of life and such. It would be like natural shamanism meets greek philosophy. We'd take an intellectual pursuit to life but we wouldn't um, sublimate our desires through too much education. We'd ... uh opposite-of-sublimate our desires upon the physical reality and our bodies, and learn more by doing. Conquering. Kinda the best of both worlds. Shamanistic way of life and holy greek ideals that only the gods can touch. We'd have them both.
The group would be small, and it would be just us. We wouldn't have any contact with anybody else really, (and if so it wouldn't be for very long). If we needed time alone, we could have that. But we'd of course re-join and re-group.
I don't really like the fast paced lifestyle you know it drains me. In a way I like how it makes me live in the moment but also by doing that I begin to miss those deep moments, the dreamy reflection that only quietness can give you. Yes it can be a slow suicide. But with the support of others- and so they can call on my shit accurately, I wouldn't really be a waste or turn into a romantic narcissist. I would trust them, it would have to be people I get along with very well to be together for that long, of course- and also people who can call me out on my shit.
Days would still be hard. Of course, you know gay men can be brutal to each other. If I wasn't perfect or trained appropriately, no sex or emotional support like I wanted.
Because, realistically self-improvement keeps happening. It's really the nature of life. Keep making your own self better. What else is there?
And they'd always be around to help me help myself, or properly discipline me if I didn't help myself. Which is what I always wanted.