I might be a 4.
I remember I was the happiest doing a variety of things, 'living fully and not self-destructing' like what is recommended for most artists.
I remember my internal states as a child were so strong. Like when I was young and had a bad day in school- then got back home, I would shelter myself and live completely in my own head, and I would like open my eyes and I would see a bunch of crazy shit. This terrified me. I wasn't crazy, I just think I had a strong imagination from the get go- that's also why, I avoided things a lot. Because I would always magnify the emotionalism too much. I remember my parents tried to hone this talent in creative pursuits which I excelled reasonably well in.
Even from a young age, like even 2 or 3, I would start picking up a piece of paper and some crayons and start doodling. I was not interested in anything external, as I think I was born with externalites draining me, of course I need those externals to renew and strengthen my confidence so I understand just how well I am at something rather than a fantasy. That explains why I always blossom late compared to my peers, but when I do join the real world- I'm so much better at it than everybody else.
Artists are known as 'the blossoming ones' as because when they get over their emoness they can soar to great heights, of course I'm like this- as I can ascend quickly in social situations and also descend just as fast.
I was the weirdest kid in school, I mean other kids were weird- but I was pretty much THE oddball that couldn't quite find my place. I was the only one that sat by myself at lunch, and really didn't talk to anybody I was so sensitive and withdrawn. (I did occasionally though, but I was only satisfied if it was deep and Daria-like) Like it says in the descriptions, I also frequently think that I don't have to live as everybody else has lived. (why should I?) I also see what could be, the ideal, - and having to face raw reality has always been difficult for me, because I can't approach it unless I do it perfectly.
And also as you guys know from my rants here, I see through the veil of social structures extremely well. I am so deeply aware of the pointlessness of college and rat races and corporate work cocksuckers and such, and how empty/meaningless it feels to me and my subjective emotional states. But because I avoid so much of the external and the normal- I have a hard time relating to people in the real world. I also never stuck with ONE thing very long because of these insights, I always wanted to have a variety of experiences to find out what I'm good at. I also suffer from faggy identity issues and gender role shit. But when people talk to me one on one they fall in love with me, because I accept their real selves all too well.
I simply feel things deeply. Doing a simple task has always been hard for me, as I kinda feel everything at once sometimes. I remember I always had this strong uncontrollable urge to 'sit down and process everything' you know. Like after I got through something I always wanted to analyze how it made me feel and see if I could create something out of it. I kinda did this without thinking, it was just like a natural process.
My eyes are soft and withdrawn, as I'm introverted and reflective, anybody who has seen me on stickam knows this is true.
I have that thing most artists do against mainstream society like WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO CONTROL ME, I'M NOTHING BUT A NUMBER TO YOU I always felt that strongly, and I always of course had a very potent bullshit detector when somebody was being fake to me.