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Thread: 8 & 3

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    ESTP's Avatar
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    Default 8 & 3

    Hey...so obviously I don't know TOO much about Enneagrams and what not. But I know I'm for sure an 8...and this IEI dood is for sure for sure a 3....I read the compatiblity in the descritption as well on Enneagram Instite site, and sounds pretty decent and accurate. What do ya'll who have greater knowlege of this have to say..............................................
    Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.

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    I've been waiting for you Satan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ESTP View Post
    Hey...so obviously I don't know TOO much about Enneagrams and what not. But I know I'm for sure an 8...and this IEI dood is for sure for sure a 3....I read the compatiblity in the descritption as well on Enneagram Instite site, and sounds pretty decent and accurate. What do ya'll who have greater knowlege of this have to say..............................................
    3s are chameleons.

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    ESTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    3s are chameleons.
    Go on...
    Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.

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    I've been waiting for you Satan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ESTP View Post
    Go on...
    they adopt images.

    the image of success
    the image of a business man
    the image of a lover

    impression management

    a smooth facade.

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Interesting, I would think of Anielka as 4w3>anything else, but I guess I could potentially see her as a 3. She does have the unhealthy 3 detached-ness thing going on which is pretty apparent when you talk to her.

    BTW what's your e-type krae? 4w5? 6w5?

    I'm 4w3 EIE and my roomate is an 8w7 sp/sx SLE. He's DEFINITELY provocative, heh, and I can definitely see how it would piss a lot of people off if they weren't able to roll their eyes and brush their shoulders off, so to speak. He totally has the whole gruff and uncaring thing going on, and from the sound of it I am pretty much the only person in his life to date who has been sort of naturally generous and empathetic enough to make him, I dunno, consider being more openly caring. He shows it in funny ways though, like giving me microwaveable cheeseburgers which he hoards and covets greatly, and I think it definitely takes someone as insightful as me to see what he is doing.

    For instance one time I blew up at him quasi-intentionally because he turned up the TV volume when I was trying to talk to him; he does this all the time to both me and our other roommate, and while I can let it slide, it is pretty disrespectful, so I decided that this time he needed to hear it. I went off on him for a minute or so, then went outside to the porch to read a book for about half an hour. I came back inside eventually, and all 3 of us were pretty much quiet for 10 minutes or so, just watching TV. 8 had to go to work, so he left the apartment, but he came back in right away, saying, "Hey George, you've gotta see this." He brings me outside to the parking lot to show me that someone has a banana peel opened and set down perfectly like you see in cartoons on top of their car. He says, "I mean, how ridiculus is that? What the hell?" and starts laughing. And it really was funny, not simply because of the banana peel, but because I could tell that this was his awkward way of trying to break the tension. I mean, let's be honest: in and of itself, that's not funny enough to go telling people, "HEY come see this funny shit!" But it meant something to me that he was willing to go out of his way to ease the tension and set things right, and I don't think many people would have picked up on that and appreciated it the way I did.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    idolatrie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ESTP View Post
    Hey...so obviously I don't know TOO much about Enneagrams and what not. But I know I'm for sure an 8...and this IEI dood is for sure for sure a 3....I read the compatiblity in the descritption as well on Enneagram Instite site, and sounds pretty decent and accurate. What do ya'll who have greater knowlege of this have to say..............................................
    I'm not that into the Enneagram thing either, but my best friend is a 3w4 (EIE) and I'm an 8w9, so I'll give it a go.

    I think we have a very strong relationship - whether this is due to or despite our E-types, I don't know. If I simplified it down a lot, I'd say that I see through a lot of her bs, but at the same time I wouldn't ever...call her on it in a way that would show her up in public (or ever, really, it's not the public/private divide at work there). I think that part is important: I mean, I see it in terms of control, that she needs to control her image/identity, and that it would be bad to take that away from her. I'm sure she sees it a different way. But I also think it is important that she recognises and remembers to um...essentialise things back to herself. I think sometimes she gets too caught up in images and states she wants to project, and I need to ask 'what do you want?' 'what are you getting out of this?' 'why do you care?'

    In return, she stands up to me, and doesn't let me take myself too seriously. But she also doesn't try to interfere with my autonomy, mostly. Like if she thinks I'm going down the wrong path, or doing something stupid, she'll tell me but then leave it to me to work through my feelings/fix it. She definitely tries to get me to see things as less black and white as I instinctively do, so we get into very passionate arguments, perhaps about the most random abstract concept where she'll not give up on trying to convince me no matter how stubborn I'm being. And then she'll stop and let me stew over it - whether it actually changes my beliefs is secondary to the fact I appreciate she puts in the effort to try to do so.

    We are quite competitive with each other, but I think it is in a healthy way. In that we respect that we're both very driven women who want to achieve a lot. And actually, the competitiveness is kind of supportive, its more like we're, and god, please forgive the horrible cliche I'm about to invoke, sisters-in-arms in the world and even though we're both fighting for ourselves, merely knowing that she's doing the same is comforting in itself.

    OK, I think that is far more about EIE/LSI than 3/8, sorry.

    My other best friend is a 4w5 (IEI) and we do have a um...smoother relationship. A lot less snark involved - but we still do banter a lot. It's just less abrasive. I don't feel that there is any um...between the image she presents and her authentic self, I take her as being what she is. I don't think we push each other anywhere near the way I do with the 3, we have a more stable relationship where we don't test the boundaries. I feel kind of protective towards her, and I guess when I see she's upset, I see that as something which needs to be fixed directly. Whereas with the 3, I think I usually see her mood as a symptom, and there is an underlying problem which we need to address, which I'll try to tease out for us to fix.


    (ps, to 'the 3', I totally apologise for referring to you in such a depersonalised way, but using screennames would have harshed my narrative flow/been weirder, so...)
    allez cuisine!

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    I've been waiting for you Satan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by krae View Post
    The biggest problem was me being not enough reactive, "melodramatic" if you wish, for the 8 to open up. It seemed that the 8 is so guarded and paranoid of anyone seeing him as a weakling/vulnerable that it's expected for its partner to first show a risky, even dangerous level of openness and loyalty for him/she to truly believe that it's safe for him/she to open up too. So it's generally expected for the other person to expose himself/herself first.
    I don't see anything wrong with that picture. 4s are about opening up, but 3s can open up too.

  8. #8
    ...been here longer than the fucking monarchy Ezra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ESTP View Post
    Hey...so obviously I don't know TOO much about Enneagrams and what not. But I know I'm for sure an 8...and this IEI dood is for sure for sure a 3....I read the compatiblity in the descritption as well on Enneagram Instite site, and sounds pretty decent and accurate. What do ya'll who have greater knowlege of this have to say..............................................
    He'll be one or the other. I can't prove IEI Threes don't exist, but I've never witnessed one, and I trust my own experience 100%.

    Thought about 4w3?

    Quote Originally Posted by krae View Post
    INFp 3s are super rare breed. I never saw one in real life, only one I know of was Anielka (INFp 3) on this forum although some people might still argue that she is an INTp.
    I would probably agree with Gilly; she was more of a 4w3. Plus, she was a total fuckin' mystery; you couldn't tell when she was telling the truth and when she was lying. Hence, it would have been impossible to build up a truly accurate picture of her.

    4s seem to be more suited for a 8s than any other type btw.
    Definitely. Although Eights and some Sixes match up quite well e.g. in the case of a Beta ST Eight and a Beta NF Six, or an LIE Eight and an ESI Six.

    3s and 8s sounds like they'd compete with each other too much for a intimate relationship.
    Probably, although I think it could be possible.

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    I don't see anything wrong with that picture. 4s are about opening up, but 3s can open up too.
    Obviously they can, but they are more inclined to hide their "true" selves, whereas 4s are all about naturally expressing their internal identities, which can help 8s feel safer in letting their guard down.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    they adopt images.

    the image of success
    the image of a business man
    the image of a lover

    impression management

    a smooth facade.

    I want to decapitate them


    They can be really great people
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    I've been waiting for you Satan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly View Post
    Obviously they can, but they are more inclined to hide their "true" selves, whereas 4s are all about naturally expressing their internal identities, which can help 8s feel safer in letting their guard down.
    3s take advantage when people express themselves naturally anyway, so it makes sense for 8s to hold back.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    3s take advantage when people express themselves naturally anyway, so it makes sense for 8s to hold back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    I want to decapitate them
    mhm
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    I've been waiting for you Satan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    mhm
    The trick with 3s is to not show vulnerability. And then they'll struggle more to abuse you. Although, they may resort to trying to undermine you in other ways.

    Also 3s usually give away their deceitfulness, in their hand shakes, and in the way they kind of try to "prop you up", and "make you feel good" when they meet you. And then when it doesn't do anything, they'll kind of reel a little.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    The trick with 3s is to not show vulnerability. And then they'll struggle more to abuse you. Although, they may resort to trying to undermine you in other ways.
    Yes

    Also 3s usually give away their deceitfulness, in their hand shakes, and in the way they kind of try to "prop you up", and "make you feel good" when they meet you. And then when it doesn't do anything, they'll kind of reel a little.
    I know.

    This person who I thought was "trying to be E8", actually, is E3. And I can't stand him. It's all what you say there. and he freaks out when his glitz and glam tactics don't work. He seriously gets more nervous and tries to 'plan' things more and more. I can't stand him.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    I agree with Ezra and others questioning the IEI 3 thing since I can hardly imagine one. maybe 4w3 or 6 moving towards 3 or something.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    ...been here longer than the fucking monarchy Ezra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post

    I want to decapitate them


    They can be really great people
    Jesus Christ! I didn't realise how young Hardy was!

    ETA: holy shit. He looks SO YOUNG! He's 50!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ezra View Post
    Jesus Christ! I didn't realise how young Hardy was!

    ETA: holy shit. He looks SO YOUNG! He's 50!
    wait, are you serious? IN THIS PICTURE he's 50???? No way.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Could he be EIE?

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    My presence makes 3s very uncomfortable. I don't have anything against 3s...I've known a 3w4 personally for a few decades...but I sense their attempts to mirror you and glean their next move from your body language. I am not facially expressive so their abilities don't work well on me.

    3s always come across as trying too hard to me...the 3w4s are more subtle about it. Smiles that last too long and turn into tractor-beams...an exaggerated tensing around the eyes/forehead ridges to express they are serious. They don't realize they do this of course...but Marcello sees all.

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    You got the 8 sense of humor I see...guessing you have a 7 wing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Salawa View Post
    YouTube - Sweet Smell of Success Part 3

    Sidney Falco could be an IEI-3, but of course he's fictional.
    IEI's can't be E3.

    He's LSI.

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    ...been here longer than the fucking monarchy Ezra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    wait, are you serious? IN THIS PICTURE he's 50???? No way.
    Well, he was born in 1892... and that was around the same time as this other picture where he's 45. So near!

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