How do INTjs see ENTps?

[whoever]

Could you state what you like and don't like about ENTps? Thanks.

[BlendieOfIndie]

Likes:
They act on things that I just sit around and think about. They seem very creative. ENTps can be very inspiring. They are easy to talk to. They usually give good advice - things that I wouldn't think of. I feel comfortable around them. They are always willing to take initiative, so I never have to plan my actions, I can just follow (as long as I feel like following I suppose). They seem to feel comfortable around me, too.

Dislikes:
Sometimes they are all over the place. They can't just chill out. They're not always the best listeners. Some can't make commitments. They're not always reliable, their plans can often change at the last minute. Procrastination puts me on the edge. They kick my ass in debates j/k... but they do.

[science as magic]

I think entps are the perfect friends to go out somewhere with and have fun with. I don't think I could ever count on them when the shit hits the fan though.

[Polly_G]

When shit hits the fan? how so?

I'm reliable if its really important but if not, no I may not be, and I will procrastinate, its all true

I can be neater and more reliable for someone else but if its just for me its a lot harder.

I tend to daydream a lot instead of getting stuff done. It really blows. The hardest part is knowing you are dissapointing the people around you. When I'm around someone who is focused on my faults, I can be very unhappy.

For the most part, I just want my relationships to be a nice calm and upbeat thing but not fake. I actually like to please if I feel I'm appreciated so most of my problems have been not reacting to aggressive or bad behavior. I tend to need to think it over, then the moment to confront passes, and then I feel silly for bringing it up.

I would say one of my biggest faults is the way I discard people. Its not that I am trying to be mean or selfish I just seem to only bond really closely with a few people. One is usually the person I'm in a relationship with.

[Apex]

I have a friend who is an ENTp and we do get allong but with debates. He just cant seem to stop debating with me about religion. He is agnostic and Im not and its like he just feels this need to constatnly tear apart at my religion even though his arguments, while at face value seem verifiable, when taken apart they make no sense at all.

[BlendieOfIndie]

I should say that I generally really like ENTps. They're some of the very few people that I feel like I know in college. I can't connect with most peple on a serious level.

I tend to need to think it over, then the moment to confront passes, and then I feel silly for bringing it up.

Wow. I know exactly what you're talking about. The problem isn't only on the ENTP side, I do the same thing. In face, I think the problem occurs most often between me and ENTps. I always feel like I am resurrecting old subjects. That scares me because I usually feel like ENTps only like talking about new stuff.

I would say one of my biggest faults is the way I discard people. Its not that I am trying to be mean or selfish I just seem to only bond really closely with a few people. One is usually the person I'm in a relationship with.

The ENTp girl that I wanted to date told me I was one of those people. But then when I told her I wanted to have a real relationship with her, she abandoned me. She wouldn't return phone calls or anything. Getting over that was very difficult for me... if she at least told me why, i would have been fine. Its not knowing why that kills me.

[science as magic]

Sorry polly. I like pointing out the faults of other types especially entps (because they understand me well) so that they can change.

[Polly_G]

An ENTp won't change unless they are ready to. I like making my own choices and doing a lot of things on my own. If someone is bugging me to change something about myself then to me, they are taking my choice away from me and are trying to be responsible for certain aspects of me; which I hate.

I will most likely resent the person for it because I will struggle with the change because it wasn't my choice. Its very important to me to grow in a way that I feel that I am directing. If someone is constantly reminding me of faults when I'm actually working on some other stuff and am well aware of those faults, I will slowly start to block them out and distance myself. You won't get the true me, you'll get an anxietized on guard me.

I prioritize the changes I make within me. I learned a long time ago to listen to others but I think independently. I will get aggravated with some people because in gearing up to make a choice I start getting really positive. Its not that I haven't thought about the negative, its just not productive to do so at that time. If someone is poking holes and being negative towards my ideas and treating me like I'm not taking anything negative into consideration, that will irk me too. To me, it feels like condesention. Its in an insult to me for someone to think I would be so naive that I don't take any of the negative consequences into consideration.

I know the negative stuff...I just don't tend to worry a lot over it. Because again, there is usually a way to solve every problem so why sweat the bumps in the road.

[science as magic]

perhaps but intjs are not very forceful. i would just point it out to you once and it would annoy you over time because my facial reaction to your actions would let you know my opinion of your capricious nature has not changed. it is an inxj classic. why sweat the bumps on the road? some people that you like won't interact with you if you continue that behavior it is just a question of whether or not you think that is worthwhile

[Polly_G]

That scares me because I usually feel like ENTps only like talking about new stuff.

Nope, only if we feel the matter has been resolved and there is no need to bring it up. But if there is a problem I really do want to address it before it becomes a bigger problem.

I think I'd feel that by not telling me you'd be cheating me and you out of a healthy friendship/relationship. Most of my insecurities stem from close people leaving me. Maybe it comes from having a father in the navy, who knows.

If I don't feel threatened that there will be conflict, I don't mind dealing with any issue really. It's hard for me to 'fight' someone close to me. I will save my fight for those who actually deserve it.

I'm really sensitive when it comes to personality type stuff. But there is always that part of myself that wants to improve so even if its stuff that is hard to hear, I want to hear it. But in doses. Criticizing my behavior on a daily basis will make me very anxietized and unsure of myself.

Its very hard to explain to some types that they just have to trust me on this....back off on criticisms when it comes to my behavior. I've heard it all before and I'm working on it believe it or not.

If its something that really bothers you just mention it and normally I will try my best to improve. Just don't use up all those favors because its actually a big effort for me to make what seems to some as small changes.

[Full House]

I don't think I could ever count on them when the shit hits the fan though.

It's good to get feedback. If things are not brought up at all, I won't have a chance to change my behaviour (if I want to). My intj friends can nowadays usually say what annoys them in a way that doesn't sound too patronizing. Intjs are very sure of their opinions though... There are usually "faults" in other people and their reasoning, not differing points of view in different contexts

[Functianalyst]

When shit hits the fan? how so?

I'm reliable if its really important but if not, no I may not be, and I will procrastinate, its all true

I can be neater and more reliable for someone else but if its just for me its a lot harder.

I tend to daydream a lot instead of getting stuff done. It really blows. The hardest part is knowing you are dissapointing the people around you. When I'm around someone who is focused on my faults, I can be very unhappy.

For the most part, I just want my relationships to be a nice calm and upbeat thing but not fake. I actually like to please if I feel I'm appreciated so most of my problems have been not reacting to aggressive or bad behavior. I tend to need to think it over, then the moment to confront passes, and then I feel silly for bringing it up.

I would say one of my biggest faults is the way I discard people. Its not that I am trying to be mean or selfish I just seem to only bond really closely with a few people. One is usually the person I'm in a relationship with.

Ditto everything that Polly says.

[discojoe]

How do INTjs see ENTps?

With their eyes.

[UDP]

I think entps are the perfect friends to go out somewhere with and have fun with. I don't think I could ever count on them when the shit hits the fan though.

Yeah, that's how I feel about one of my relatives who is ENTp

[Polly_G]

The whole when shit hits the fan thing I think is a really big misconception some of you INTjs have about ENTps. When shit hits the fan, I'm probably one of the more reliable people I know.

Its only the mundane and tedious that I am unreliable. I also might be late for social type functions. But I worked a year and half in my last job without even taking a sick day because stuff needed to get done and I was the only one there to do it.

I can sometimes take too much on which can be a problem. I have gotten much better though in the last year even in admitting when I need help or to outright say no, that I just don't have time to do something. This makes me more reliable all the way around.

I think for a long time there was this part of me that feared if I said "no" people would think bad things about me so I always made time to do it all. The result was, some things were not getting done (especially if they were related to me - I suck at taking care of me) and when I did have time, I was so burned out that those tedious tasks seemed like mountains so would procrastinate.

I know how some people get this idea and it is one of those things that actually bothers me. My own family treats me this way and its very frustrating because my co-workers see that reliable side while my family only gets to see those mundane things I'm procrastinating getting around to.

So when someone treats me like I'm going to be unreliable over something that is actually important it hurts my feelings quite a bit. My family is an expert at this and the way they talk about me, they act like I"m some bafoon. It creates distances between myself and people who I don't feel can see my positive attributes.

[Transigent]

Edited for gayness.

[Polly_G]

immoral that the ENTp did without even trying.

Huh? Either I'm not ENTp, you have dealt with warped ENTps, or they weren't actually ENTps.

I haven't been kicked out of any place ever. I actually have a healthy respect for rules if the rules are necessary. If someone tried to kick me out of a place over an absurd rule, I would probably go over their head to their boss to show them how absurd it was.

I go out of my way not to hurt people and getting my group kicked out of a place would completely go against that for me.

I wouldn't do anything I felt was immoral but might stand up against something I saw as immoral...which might get me into trouble. But I tend to take these risks alone so no one else has to deal with the fall-out.

My true friends do have to be understanding. Friends are really not my priority but if they need me, all they need to do is call and I'd do all in my power to help them. I attract a lot of people and might even do some things with a couple of them, but that doesn't mean I have bonded with them as 'friend'. If that's the case, they probably won't see me again unless both of our presences are required for something.

How do you know if I think you are a true friend? I'll start doing little creative things for you and do little thoughtful favors that I know you will like on a regular basis. Basically, I start subtly solving some of your little problems as gestures of my friendship. If you start taking advantage of it though, I'll back off super fast and you won't see me very long.

ESFjs can kind of bore me to tears. They are wonderful people, my mom is one and I love her and see all her wonderful qualities. But she is far more interested in the actions of everyone from here to timbucktwo and really shares no similar interests with me at all.

[Transigent]

Edited for gayness.

[ScanDave]

So when someone treats me like I'm going to be unreliable over something that is actually important it hurts my feelings quite a bit. My family is an expert at this and the way they talk about me, they act like I"m some bafoon. It creates distances between myself and people who I don't feel can see my positive attributes.

OMG. I can relate to this to the extreme. My mom is the one that does it to me the most. It does not help she is also my activity partner, ESFj. She can guilt trip me and PoLR slap me to hell. She actually called me at work talking about I needed to this and that for my grandfather's birthday, and then said something like she wasting my breath because I do not care and will not do any of it. I fucking lost it and started throwing stuff. And half the time I really do not understand what she is requesting. She will usually hang up on me, if I ask her to be more specific.

It frustrates me because we can have a good time every now and then. But, we always end up fighting after a while.

[Polly_G]

Yeah, I can totally relate. My mom is an ESFj too. Even when I do call, I get guilted about how I don't call enough.

I stayed with them a couple weeks after my last breakup. I woke up one morning to find my ESFj mom in the front of my car and my ISTp father in the back cleaning it!!!!

I just don't know what to say. For me, I was kind offended because it was a privacy violation but kept my mouth shut and acted appreciative because I know their hearts were in the right place in a kinda controlling way.

[Ms. Kensington]

I would say one of my biggest faults is the way I discard people. with.

The ENTp girl that I wanted to date told me I was one of those people. But then when I told her I wanted to have a real relationship with her, she abandoned me. She wouldn't return phone calls or anything. Getting over that was very difficult for me... if she at least told me why, i would have been fine. Its not knowing why that kills me.

ditto, the reaction seems characteristic of INTjs especially. Add that to the fact that we are always freaking out about Fi-- gah

I agree that i really love how the ENTp puts into action those things that i love and admire, and are really creative. Also, some of them really do care so much about people as a whole, and I identify and admire that effort even if they are not successful on an individual level. as i've said many times, i feel the most intense bond with ENTps, and it's because of the mix of understanding, interesting difference in opinion, ability to work together, and the plain depth of feeling i get. I suppose the element of tragedy in having the relationships never work out (romanitcally) only adds to the depth of feeling. haha

It's the combination of being able to inform and stimulate those areas that are most important to me, and in the most stimulating, provocative, pleasurable way (since you are dealing with the same sort of concepts, you're able to understand them, and play with them in a way you wouldnt do by yourself).

I also like how they seem to appreciate what Si i do have, and most every ENTp i've known thought i was interesting, which i liked.

[Polly_G]

Yeah, I have to admit I find all the INTjs I meet on here just fascinating. I seem to be able to communicate with them in a way I just can't with any other type. Its fun!!

It's really interesting the way I see you guys look at the same problem. Its like you kick off some kind of stimulation that make my mind take all these leaps with your ideas and information. I really admire the INTjs ability to focus too on things I just don't have patience for.

I feel I can explain my idea to an INTj and they don't think I'm a flake because I don't know the details. That's the way I feel sometimes around some INTps. Others see that I really actually enjoy their input and value it. Its only if its condescending that I pretty much block out whatever useful information they are providing.

Also, some of them really do care so much about people as a whole, and I identify and admire that effort even if they are not successful on an individual level

That actually means a lot to me that someone can see that. Some of the negative things people say on here about ENTps just blow me away.

[Gilly]

We're just misunderstood.

[/wristcuttingbullshit]