Because I would have gotten VERY angry at myself.
Yesterday was a stressful day for me. My hormones are still all over the place from the birth, and my older daughter has been sick and I've been stressed out by that. Plus, even easy babies like my baby are a lot of work. And on top of that, my husband's truck is broken and of COURSE he can't pay someone else to fix it, so it won't get fixed till this weekend and he's taking my van to work, leaving me trapped. Not that I'd go anywhere with a sick kid and a newborn, but just knowing the van is there and I could go if I wanted to makes me feel good. Not having that possibility available is a bad thing.
So, in this situation, my husband decided to go to the bar with friends after work. Usually, I don't care in the slightest. Go to the bar and chat with your friends, no problem. He told me he'd only be there an hour or less because of everything that was going on at home, but my husband is never home when he says he'll be home. Usually, I just translate this - he says he'll be out less than an hour, that means he'll be back around an hour and a half to two hours. I can usually figure out about when he'll be home and I usually work with that and don't really pay attention to what time he says he'll be home. But this time I freaked. I called him after and hour and yelled at him and ended up throwing the phone across the room I was so angry. I screamed at him and swore and was all around not a nice person.
One would think he would respond to my tantrum by being angry, right? I would get angry if someone threw a phone and screamed at me. But NO. He came home and brought a treat for me, and was really sweet and said he'd take care of the girls and I could take a nice bath to relax, and that tonight we'd go out to my favorite restaurant if it the older one is feeling better and the baby is up to it, or else he'll go pick up food from them, even though they aren't a place that generally does take-out. And the older one was OK this morning and he told me to sleep in and he'd get her ready for school, which he did.
THIS is why we don't fight. Because one of us (usually me) will get angry, and the other one doesn't get angry back. It isn't because the starting point of fights don't happen - it's because they don't really develop into fights because they're always one-sided. And it isn't ALWAYS me who gets angry - sometimes he'll get upset about something. But I'm the moodiest so I have to admit that it is usually me.
I'm wonder about what's going on functionally here. I know he fed me Si after Si thing, but I meant more like what caused me to get so upset in the first place. Other than not having my car, which was an Ne-limiting thing.
The two things I don't get:
1. Why wouldn't his response work to make anyone of any type happy?
2. Why doesn't he get angry at me when I flip out like that?