SLE/ESTp reaction to close person having emotional outburst?

[Sirena]

How would an SLE react to a significant other having an emotional outburst? ie. crying and saying things like "why don't you care about me"

[Gilly]

A healthy one would remain calm and try to figure out why you are upset.

An unhealthy one would ignore you and chalk up your ramblings to moodiness and an inability to control your emotions.

[Trevor]

Maybe this could help:

In any situation that requires the ability to “catch” the nuances in moods of others, the tones of attitudes between other people and towards herself, the SLE suffers an internal feeling of nervousness. She is apt to understand a person’s financial concerns, but not in how to emotionally comfort someone who, on the verge of tears, asks for empathy. In such cases the SLE may, in an authoritative tone, give logical instructions: i.e. “Do something! Make this so, and this thus, and I will help you.” She thereby uses her strong functions in situations where she doesn’t successfully operate; in the sphere of ethics and relations.

[ESTP]

Maybe this could help:

YUP

[Ezra]

A healthy one would remain calm and try to figure out why you are upset.

An unhealthy one would ignore you and chalk up your ramblings to moodiness and an inability to control your emotions.

I'd say that was pretty accurate.

I'd also add that an average/unhealthy SLE might get frustrated that the significant other can't control themselves as well as the SLE can (of course, this may even be true for a healthy SLE).

[Sirena]

Yeah this is pretty much in line to what I was thinking and have been experiencing lately. The part about ignoring it then when that bothers me, getting annoyed that I can't control my emotions and therefore constantly chucks it up to moodiness and me just trying to create problems. He deeply resents me for this and has become pretty inflexible about it. No matter how much good there is in the relationship, how many good times (and there are many/most), one very small episode like this is enough to turn everything negative in his mind. It's very painful to me because even though we're great 99% of the time, things like these (which are inevitable for me) will cancel everything else out to him. I guess his Fi polr is pretty obvious especially in situations like these because he seems completely incapable of having an accurate perception of the relationship. During moments like these, he will say that we are always fighting and constantly have problems and it baffles me. I'm just thinking "WHAT THE FUCK! are we talking about the same relationship here." lol. This is when just the day before he was telling me how huge of a change I've made in his life and how happy he is to have found someone that understands him. I'd usually find it funny, even endearing, but we just had a fight. Well, not a fight, more like him talking out of his ass about how we're constantly fighting and me getting hurt over some of the things he said like "the only times we're ever okay is when we're not together." I know he didn't mean that and he sort of rephrased it later but it still hurt.

So...how does this SLE thing work with IEI's? How does this all play into the duality? I'm pretty sensitive and I have a hard time not expressing that or getting my feelings hurt pretty easily. Would this not bother other IEI's?

P.S. lol he keeps glancing over this way as I type, not realizing I'm noticing him doing it. god, he's just so stubborn and proud!!! but I can't help to want to jump over there and punch him in the mouth, but then I'd also want to kiss it better and just love him. sigh.

[duality is cringe]

I do not have polr. He'll never care for you like I can, Sirena.

[Satan]

sirena, maybe you shouldn't get so infested in it .. every realtionship has ups and downs ..

the more you focus on "the relationship" the more there isn't a relationship, and instead there's the concept of what could have / has been.

[sigma]

So...how does this SLE thing work with IEI's? How does this all play into the duality? I'm pretty sensitive and I have a hard time not expressing that or getting my feelings hurt pretty easily. Would this not bother other IEI's?

"why don't you care about me" ?

So let me get this straight, you like the SLE for his independence and his ability to bring you back to the present moment when you get too lost in the meanderings of your thoughts and, yet, you have the nerve to project a brainfart like that upon him. What should the SLE DO to show you that he cares? Behave like every other looser you don't like?

SLE is not someone you control directly, like in "CARE about me immediately!"
SLE is someone you savor and when he whips you butt for being a whining little bitch, you don't say "why don't you care"... but rather "thank you for saving me from the demons of my mind".

Master de Mello said: "The present moment is never unbearable. It is what you think is coming in the next five minutes, or five days, weeks or months that drives you to despair."

I give praise for the shear awesomeness of SLE's ability to reconnect with the present moment!

[Ezra]

I do not have polr. He'll never care for you like I can, Sirena.

ahahahahah