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Thread: Intertype relations are a barrier

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    Default Intertype relations are a barrier

    Intertype relations, with all their pros and cons, need to be overidden.

    Intertype relations have no real value.

    But how can they be overcome?

    Answer: By having patience and not making interpretations, by basing everything on facts rather than interpretation/perception.

    The most important thing is patience.

    What do you think?

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    6w5 sx
    model Φ: -+0
    sloan - rcuei

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    I agree that relying on descriptions of intertype relations rather than learning to feel them for yourself is a potential problem. If you take descriptions too narrowly, you might end up limiting your development and your relationships unnecessarily.

    On the other hand, many people (especially logical types) have told me that socionics has been a godsend for them because it has given them a way to understand what's happening in relationships through the prism of intertype relations. Otherwise it might take them forever to figure out what they feel and experience in relationships and why.

    I am against disregarding intertype relations, since they are the purpose for socionics existing in the first place. Take away intertype relations, and you simply have a typology of personality types whose purpose would be to best discribe differences between people. But socionics was created to best describe and explain relationships between people, and is the only typology that was explicitly designed to do so.

    At the same time, I am all for sticking to facts and describable phenomena as much as possible rather than always talking about models. What kinds of facts did you have in mind for understanding relationships?

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    Intertype relations are IMO tendencies. Actual interactions with others will be likely to follow the described course, but they certainly don't have to. Romantic relationships of any relation CAN work... it's just a matter of how much work they take just to understand eachother and give eachother what each person needs. Some relationships are totally exhausting.

    Hugo, I agree with you. Sometimes it seems that having knowledge of intertype relations is a barrier. I don't think it has to be though. It's all in the way you look at it.
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    Hugo, I agree with you. Sometimes it seems that having knowledge of intertype relations is a barrier. I don't think it has to be though. It's all in the way you look at it.
    I don't let it be a barrier.

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    having knowledge of intertype relations is a barrier
    But it can also be a 'weapon' that allows you to build relationships faster and with greater confidence than you otherwise would (not just romantic relationships!). This can help you increase your pace of experiencing life. A typical example. You're on the train (OK, a typical situation in Ukraine) and are sharing the compartment with someone else who seems interesting. You start talking and quickly get an idea of his type, which you know is a "safe" type for you, meaning that there's really nothing that either of you could say or do that would wound each other. And you simply let down your barriers and behave spontaneously, getting the maximum enjoyment out of interaction. Socionics can help you open up to the world more than you otherwise might.

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    Knowledge of intertype relations can actually be conducive to maintainting postive relationships for if one is aware of the specific problems of a relationship they might seek to adjust their interactions accordingly.

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    I think understanding why problems might come up in a relationship might make me more patient and less prone to blame the other person for the problems. In that way it could certainly help.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    Let me actually say a few things in support of Hugo's original post.

    People constantly make typing errors, especially during the first few years, but sometimes much longer than that. It really sucks to realize that you mistyped a close friend or family member or girlfriend or whatever, and that as a result you overstepped or understepped natural bounds in the relationship and messed things up. These painful mistakes are a fact of life for any serious student of socionics.

    This is why you need to learn to "feel" relationships yourself and not be too reliant on "the model" or type and relationship descriptions. Sometimes I meet people who are just fountains of socionics babble and are so busy elucidating their next socionics discovery that life and relationships pass them by. It makes you wish they'd just throw the socionics out the window and be normal people again.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rick
    Let me actually say a few things in support of Hugo's original post.

    People constantly make typing errors, especially during the first few years, but sometimes much longer than that. It really sucks to realize that you mistyped a close friend or family member or girlfriend or whatever, and that as a result you overstepped or understepped natural bounds in the relationship and messed things up. These painful mistakes are a fact of life for any serious student of socionics.

    This is why you need to learn to "feel" relationships yourself and not be too reliant on "the model" or type and relationship descriptions. Sometimes I meet people who are just fountains of socionics babble and are so busy elucidating their next socionics discovery that life and relationships pass them by. It makes you wish they'd just throw the socionics out the window and be normal people again.
    That's why I'm promoting crosstype: so that there will be no chance for error.

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    That's why I'm promoting crosstype: so that there will be no chance for error.
    What is cross-typed? How does one become cross-typed? Why should one want to be cross-typed? Are you cross-typed? If not, who is, and why?

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    I am, apparently. Care to take a turn at psychoanalyzing me, maybe see if I'm a genius/insane/any of the other wild things he claims about me?
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Weren't you a genius AND insane?
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    ENxx, right? I guess so.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    no.

    but i think some types are more flexible/willing to adapt/willing to "make" something work than others.
    But I think any relation comes down to willingness. If you're not willing then any relationship won't work.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    Intertype relations are IMO tendencies. Actual interactions with others will be likely to follow the described course, but they certainly don't have to. Romantic relationships of any relation CAN work... it's just a matter of how much work they take just to understand eachother and give eachother what each person needs. Some relationships are totally exhausting.

    Hugo, I agree with you. Sometimes it seems that having knowledge of intertype relations is a barrier. I don't think it has to be though. It's all in the way you look at it.
    I think it is better not to understand certain things and just to bear it with patients. People tend to hope they don't meet with pain. But it is only natural that misunderstanding and pain will exist. The important thing I believe is to overlook these personality issues and fulfil what evr you are trying to fulfil (ie getting on with life and the big picture)

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