One of the hardest things for me is initiating. Emails aren't so bad but everything else is like hell. You'd think that after all these years I'd get good at it but no. I can't pick up the phone to SAVE MY LIFE and asking people to do stuff is just too hard. Part of it is the fact that it takes so much of my energy to do it that any rejection is like a huge blow. Which I realize is ridiculous. Silly cause I know it's nothing personal. People are busy, they have pre-existing plans, it's nothing against me. I know who likes me and who doesn't. That's not it. It's just that I guess deep down, I feel like if someone else really wants to be friends, they'll initiate. I have this one SEE friend who's been asking me to do stuff and I love it. I so appreciate her. But why, why is it so much work? Furthermore, it's not like my ESE husband is much better! You'd think he'd be good at that. Actually he's great at handling the emotional atmosphere in the moment but he's horrible at planning things with other couples and stuff like that. So we're screwed.