Originally Posted by
idolatrie
I think I've been away from the forums too long to tell if someone is being serious or not, but I'll pretend this is a serious question.
Generally like they're not? And also, it depends on what you mean by interested - because hooking up and wanting an actual relationship are two very different kinds of interest (and expressed in very different ways, in my opinion).
I think if an ISTj wanted to hook up with someone, they'd make that fairly clear in a physical manner. As in, making physical contact, and using verbal cues to indicate that. There'd be an element of it being a response though - I don't think an ISTj would pursue someone who made it clear they were uninterested - but once there was some indication of reciprocation of desire, then yeah, I think the ISTj would just take the situation and run with it. Just don't expect the ISTj to respect you in the morning. (And I don't mean they would think you are a slut or whatever, but that I don't think an ISTj actually wants a relationship with anyone they hook up with casually.)
If you're talking about interested as in a relationship, well, then there's a whole lot more issues. The matter of reciprocation becomes far more of an issue. I think ISTjs can like someone and do their best to make sure that person never finds out - how effective that effort to hide it is you'll have to ask someone else. The fear of being emotionally hurt and well, not wanted, is huge. And gender may come into this point for me, but I categorically refuse to take the first step in terms of asking somebody out - at least, with the intention of that being a 'date', as opposed to just friends going out.
I think ISTjs are very bad at appearing vulnerable, so waiting for them to seem like they genuinely want a relationship is an exercise in futility. They play games though. A lot of strategic maneuvering goes on for sure. It's about finding out what the other party wants and is thinking. I know I'm playing these games with another LSI guy, and it's hilarious because I'm fairly certain we totally see through each other's little games - but it is also very comfortable and, well, fun. In a quiet and very exclusionary way.
Oh, and don't expect ISTjs to not be massively hypocritical when it comes to jealousy. I think they will totally use it as a tool in the whole game-playing thing, but if you try to use it back on them, it'll make them start to shut down if not totally make you out of bounds. As in, if a guy says he's seeing a girl, I'll take that as him being off the market. But I'll tell a guy I'm interested in about another bloke I'm seeing to make him jealous. Or I'll hook up with someone in front of him, again, to make him jealous. It is a bit of a throwing down the gauntlet to see if he'll try to stake a superior claim (which yes, he has), but couple that with the whole make-sure-he-never-finds-out-I-like-him thing, and well, haha, ISTjs are kind of fucked up.
Sooooo...anyways. Look for physical and verbal cues. If an ISTj is cooly polite to you, then no, they're probably not interested. If they try to catch your attention with a well-placed barb or some other sharp comment, then you're on the right track. If they put their hand on your arm (or your leg, or your c...well, you get the idea), then they probably want you physically (it may only be physically, or it may be more than that). But I think an ISTj, for all the verbal sparring, will never try to make someone they like look bad, especially in front of other people. They just want to test you out, make sure you're able to stand up to them.
And I was kind of drunk, she was kind of drunk blah blah.
Reply With Quote
(
)
