I was having a discussion with Cyclops, in which he explained about how he experiences Si. He said: "Like, I am always relaxed in my head. I can spend hours not actually doing anything at all and still feel at peace" and "My 'head' is aware of things that are around me and how I feel physically, and it's just taking in things as they are."
Well, 'taking in things as they are' is just a bit too vague for me, to which he elaborated "So I suppose in my head, i'm not really thinking about anything, i'm just aware of either how I feel, or that and the things in my room, like now. Not how they will change, but just what they are for what they are ... And being aware of those things is enough to occupy my mind"
Especially the bold part struck a chord with me, because it reminded me of an experiment I did almost 20 years ago. Let me tell you what happened:
One night I was reading on the philosophy of space and time and relativity theory, took some scrap paper and started playing around with Einstein's famous U=MC2. After doing some deductions I arrived at an expression in which speed was expressed in s/m (if I recall correctly). So I thought I had made an error somewhere in the deduction, since I 'knew' speed is always expressed in distance travelled per time unit. I went over it again and again for about two hours, but I couldn't find the error. Then, it suddenly hit me: what I fool I was for thinking movement should always be expressed in distance travelled per time unit; I realized you can also describe movement in time taken per distance unit, or even m/m/s, or whatever. There are many ways to describe movement or change, it very much depends on the reference framework you are using.
So I fooled around some more with the equations, until suddenly someting totally unanticipated happenend. All of a sudden I was seeing reality around me, all the objects, the table, the coffee cups on it, the furniture in my living room, with the sense of space and time ELIMINATED FROM IT. I was seeing 'objects as they were' and for the first time I realized my default mode of looking at reality was with an implicit sense of space and time, i.e. objects to me are always somewhere in space and time and in relationship to other objects. Now, for the first time in my life, I saw reality as it 'really' was: each object was sufficient in its own right, unrelated to the other objects, which existed in their own right as well. To me, this was a thrilling discovery, a peak experiene that went far beyond that magnificent orgasm I had when I had sex with a girl for the first time (probably due to lack of oxygen), and also much more magnificent than that near-death experience I once had. It felt like God had shown me a higher level of reality (and that for an atheist!), it felt like a revelation of the true nature of reality!
I won't bother you with what happened afterwards, but let me suffice by saying the feeling left me and never came back to me ever again. I've had many things in my life that I felt bad about but that I in some way overcame and learned to accept or shrug off, but not this particular experience, and I can't think about it without getting tears in my eyes.
Now my question to Si-ego types is: what I have just described above, is that a description of how leading and/or creative Si types feel all or most of the time?